bash.org archive

<Minion> I'm waiting for CNN to do a special on "The Goatse.Cx
Phenomenon" Like they did with EverQuest and "All your base"

<@Deosyne> Yeah. I'm not admitting to anyone, especially my
kid, that I stuck a vacuum in my ass

<[ric]> pfft... oh, well when I am dead my gravestone will
simply read..  http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?search=
%5Bric%5D

<Sterring> please , I don't really understand english
expression cause I'm not so good in english....
<Sterring> use simple words
<Nickname> you stupid

<AkumaBot1.1> why is microsoft so gay?1
<Ark.COM> dude, it's "Micro" and "soft"
<Ark.COM> they fuck with our heads and wallets because they
can't fuck anything else

(Xerox): Right on! Hey, there are some Thai tribes that are
afraid of spirits called phii, or "widow ghosts." These
spirits are sexually voracious women who have died violently,
and they attack men in their sleep. The charm for these are
giant wooden phallus carvings outside the house. They work by
acting as decoys.
(Squizzle): Xerox: Eh, every culture tries to explain
nocturnal emissions.
(Xerox): To quote my book: "...Ranging from the crudest wooden
shafts, to carefully carved images complete with coconut shell
testicles and fishnet pubic hair..."
(Xerox): Yes, but this one I find particularly humorous.
(Xerox): Imagine going into some village and seeing giant
penis statues everywhere.
(Squizzle): That would truly rule.
(Rico): It'd be funnier if the Moai had giant stone schlongs.
(Xerox): Well, that certainly would've made a few old Konami
shooters a lot more interesting...
(Rico): Options- the glorified orange spermicide.

<Kitsa> I had a frightening moment today
<Kitsa> I looked at a piece of sheet music and realized I
couldn't tell what key it was in
<Kitsa> :/
<Kitsa> "This quality music degree from a prestigious
university can be your child's for the low low price of
$35,000"

<rev> mel has nipples like sausages
<Melissa> links or patties?

<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was.
<mandi> the end of your dad's cock?

<JBB> I'm looking for a laptop that I can just use on the net.
Something below $300.
<BondOO7> You'd have better luck shoving your cock into a
telephone jack for the internet.

<Werdnum> if (nickj.nationality == "au") { nickj.print("Yes");
} else { nickj.print("No"); }
<nickj> "yes" and "no" - dual Aus / Uk (born Edinburgh)
<Werdnum> nickj: I'm pretty sure that's a non-standard parser
;)
<nickj> hey, I deliberately try and put down answers that I
know will confuse the system when filling in forms, so why
should this be any different? ;-)
<Werdnum> nickj: SQL injection on the census?
<Werdnum> Name: Andrew'; DROP TABLE person;---

<dr_cool> New Zealand is a shit hole full of sheep
<marc> yeah, but they give better head than the kangaroos

<AK[coding]> females are the anti-c0de
<AK[coding]> Right now, it's like you're high on meth.
<AK[coding]> But in a few months...
<AK[coding]> You'll be fucking and fucking and NO lines will
be showing up in your poor terminal.

<daenonon^II> lol
<daenonon^II> i got pr0n downloading on limewire when this pop
up ad comes up
<daenonon^II> about some kind of pyramid scam
<daenonon^II> and somehow the search results window of
limewire didn't get covered by the testimonials of the pop up
<daenonon^II> "as a single mom, i like how hardcore fucking
gets xtreme!!"

<Foxxz> OMG! you know our dorm is nerdy when someone finds a
math tv show and we all start watching.

<dormando> I power my car on harvested angst

<_emma_> Wee. I scanned it!
<captain_ben> you scanned your WEE!??!!

<cygnus> speech recognition is only for people who don't jerk
off enough to build up wrist strength and then get fucked up
from using their keyboards

<blur_> i just got a buncha penises flashed at me :(
<blur_> i somehow setup cuseeme to accept all incoming
requests
<blur_> and like
<blur_> theres naked men out there apparently

(Billy) i met a porno star
(@dura) so DID I!
(PyRoWaRrIoR) I am a porno star
(PyRoWaRrIoR) I didn't get paid though
(PyRoWaRrIoR) and there was no cameras =/
(PyRoWaRrIoR) it was just me, a sheep, and this guy named fred
who SAID he knew my dad and my dad said it was ok
(PyRoWaRrIoR) but I didn't believe him
(PyRoWaRrIoR) and my ass still hurts
(PyRoWaRrIoR) and the worst part is
(PyRoWaRrIoR) he never called or wrote :(

<Gallant> what's the point of programmin C/C++ if your goal is
to make readable code?

«@ Darth_Angelus» thats what happens when you play avp2 too
much
« TheMaskedMan » You get hairy palms and go blind
<JonR> no tmm
<JonR> thats masturbation
« TheMaskedMan » oh
« TheMaskedMan » I confuse the two

<@Juste> noooo
<@Juste> shut down pc box was checked
Juste
«[email protected]»
has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<pinin> i give it 5 years before taliban is destroyed and
northern alliance gets their own country back and we fund em
and turn it into a big shopping mall

<Ophe|ia`> omg I will NEVER shit that fast again.....my anus
is burning *sitting down carefully*

<Ayesha> half the men in my family have mullets XD
<dunderhead> are half the people in your family in serious
relationships with other people in the famly as well?
<dunderhead> thats usually the consequence of rocking the
mullet

<Cheetah> heh, someone else who was on my box didn't like my
lack of bitchx ...
<sig11> heh?
<Cheetah> bitchx
<Cheetah> BitchX
<Cheetah> for fucks..
<Cheetah> (from .bash_history)
<Cheetah> who actually types things like for fucks.. into
their shell?

Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!

* Kalaco is listening to 風ã?®ã  ã? ã?«(㠩㠤㠴㠻㠴㠡ã 
¼ã ¸ã §ã ³) by å°?ç °å  æ­£.
<Feodore> That's an awesome song.
<Kalaco> o.o
<Kalaco> you can see?

*** Topic is 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I WILL ASK THIS FOX
FOR GUIDANCE'
*** Set by JoeMustDie on Tue Nov 12 18:34:04
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ | I
WILL ASK THIS FOX FOR GUIDANCE 4818'
-Later-
*** Squinky changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ |
WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED'
<Sopabuena> No keep that number there
*** Sopabuena changes topic to 'http://yellow5.com/pokey/ |
WISDOM SHALL BE RECEIVED 4818'
<Squinky> What is the number?
<Sopabuena> part of a phone
<Sopabuena> i put it there or i will forget to call
<Squinky> Hee!
<Squinky> You may be addicted when you use channel topics as
reminder notes

<melanarchy> I mean I don't want to be too mean
<melanarchy> but there are levels of acceptable IRC stupidity

<Uhh_Duh> And to all you virgins, THANKS FOR NOTHING!

Wryol: Ouch
Blood4Shame: What?
Wryol: Nothing
Blood4Shame: What is wrong hun?
Wryol: ......brb
Blood4Shame: Ok?
Wryol: Accidentally cumming on cuts burns and stings more than
Peroxcide.
Blood4Shame: Aww...  Well it's calcium, so good for the bones,
right?
Wryol: ...Remind me never to mention things like that to you
again.

<M07w> you haven't been on the internet until you've seen a
disembodied breast wearing a pair of panties

<David> topic lock off ?
<David> how
<David> ?
<DJ-Pyro> /msg chanserv help
<SSJ4xVegeta> how do i group my nicks 2gether
<DJ-Pyro> /msg nickserv help
<DJ-Pyro> you'll notice a pattern

<ASk> ads make the baby jesus cry
<CitizenErased> PLAGIARISM
<ASk> You can't own baby jesus, he's under GPL

* The following takes place the day after the Second Gulf War
began.
<@HEMI> kjfklsdf
<@HEMI> All hell is breaking loose!
<@HEMI> Things are falling apart at work. I just got back from
lunch. Yay!
<@TenBaseT> god damn you
<@TenBaseT> I just hit refresh on 6 news sites because of
that.

<Macca_> hi all 
<Macca_>  can anyone help me with uninstalling WindowsME, it
hasn't been as 
easy as i thought it might be

<+nPHo> no.life = this is what you have if you are looking at
this.
<smcn> haw i didn't look at it

<boyd> mmm, he said he's now a linux whore as well as an amd
one
<saba> rofl
<saba> what a slutty combo. an OS for people who dont use
deoderant with a CPU for people who can't afford deoderant

<c-rOCK> just cause youre fugly doesnt mean I cant scroll past
your head to jack off

<Oldboy> mt dew shrinks your cock
<MiNdPhuCk> Tell me that again as I slam my 12 inch long, 4
inch wide cock down your throat while drinking a dew
<Oldboy> plastic doesnt count

<l0wkey> the women in porn spread so much all i can see are
kidneys

<hoedje> how can I see witch hda I can mount?
<ymir> You don't mount witches.
<ymir> Because, I don't think they'll appreciate it.

<sac|metal|werk> anyway, star wars is real and star trek is
some made up bs

<froggie> short lines are bad, mmmkay? please add to your
short lines, to make them long. like this, y'see? long lines,
good. short lines bad. pretty simple. I'm goint to beat you,
acidblood. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THE BEACHES!
<froggie> actually, I'll play volleyball with you on the
beaches
<froggie> I'll fight you online on IRC and DoD maybe one day.
but either way, I'll fight you in a verbose and extended
mannor so that I may be one step closer to that almighty long
winning line! haha! madman? ME? of course, thankyou.
<acidblood>                                                   
Does this count as a long line?
<froggie> no.

<Sohcahtoa> When I first saw that image, I said "This is so
obviously photoshopped.  NOBODY has a nutsack that hangs THAT
low."
<Yosh|Surf> wait
<Yosh|Surf> how did my girlfriends picture get back into
discussion?

Geezer_The_Douche: I want a customised Nintendo Powerglove
that shoots cancer at people.

<RichiH> talking of netBSD - someone has a spare toaster to
test 1.6?
<mirabile> lol toaster
<mirabile> you know them :)
<RichiH> you just wait...
<RichiH> some day they will support toasters and washing
machines
<Tschechow> "a toaster can be on or off, so it has at least
one bit, so netbsd should boot on it."
* RichiH 's mental eye sees a toaster's heating elements glow
morse code
<mirabile> lol
<zinx> they already do, you just need the right brand
<RichiH> or it could punch the toast

<gi|XFIRE> in MSword, how do you remove page numbers?
<gi|skaught> whiteout

* Matataki hhahwhawhawhawhawhawhawhwh
<Matataki> whenever i wanna laugh i read 'the emulation dream'

<Abit667> I am gonna try to get goldfish
<Abit667> without getting busted
<Bryan> k
<Abit667> back
<Abit667> only satan would put the huge goldfish box behind a
bag of chips

<RichiH> lilo: benjamin == fork(lilo) ?
* lilo nods
<lilo> he's a child process
<lilo> eventually he'll have his own process group though

<unknown> once I was wanking while playing doomII and someone
snuck up behind me and shot me in the back with his shotgun
and I almost tore off my helmet.. Folks I am telling you it's
not fucking worth it!!!

<Haddock> there are easy marks on CPT5
<Haddock> it gives you some html
<Haddock> and you have to draw what the page would look like
<Haddock> you have to be careful not to confuse <br> and <p>
and shit like that
<Haddock> but they're worth like 5-7 marks
<Numi> lol
<Numi> i'd laugh if they gave you wankers of questions like
<Numi> "draw this page, which features browser-specific bugs,
as it would render in IE6"
<Haddock> lol
<Haddock> i'd just draw a bsod
<Numi> HAHA

<enrol> my new ircing technique is unstoppable
<jj> do you think youre dalnet sword can defeat me!?
<jj> en guard, ill let you try my efnet style

<Nookadum> and yet I have NO spelling erros

<The_Capn> Must be a space mummy!
<Card> or, an even more mysterious species
<Card> The species that is so rare, that there is only one
left
<Card> and it needs to procreate, so it has come to my bedroom
<Card> Yes, I am talking about the elusive "Your Mom"

<vecna> Holy fucking christ, lord and savior, show us your
tits, that's a lot of ZSNES ASM code

<ryda> earlier, i was lookin up doom 3 stuff
<ryda> and i clicked on this doom 3 screenshot link
<ryda> and it redirected to a pornsite
<ryda> and then my mum comes up to me and offers me a pringle
<ryda> and im just like sheeet
<milenko> ahhahaha
<milenko what did she say?
<ryda> i couldnt get it off the screen
<ryda> she pretended not to noticed
<ryda> alt f4 wasnt workin lol
<ryda> thing is, it looked really really gross
<milenko> what was it, cumshot?
<ryda> im not sure
<ryda> but i think it could have been tranny
<milenko> dude, YOUR FUCKED

<Corvis> dead girls dont say no
<Pulp|^^> Dead girls don't need to be bought a drink ^^
<Corvis> dead girls dont need valentines day
<Latino|Awayzz> dead girls dont care if you're finished in 12
seconds flat

<shervin> DMC talks shit like no other and yet hes OP
<Gethoht> OP?
<Gethoht> oh, op
<Gethoht> i thought you meant "original playa" or somethin

<maagui> I lub to take adderall, the clenched jawls is so
sectsay... Girls look at you and think, 'nice cheek
structure'... No bitch, I'm just speedin through life on
amphetamines... NOW LEAVE ME ALONE

* ashie is already starting to miss senior year of high school
<ashie> i cut school so much, i'd end up coming in on
holidays, not knowing there was no school

<Darth-Phenom> I've just realised something which you'll find
quite remarkable
<Darth-Phenom> This place sucks

<fly> i need a life out side of sex
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> funny
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> most people want it the other way
around

<ll|||ll||> I meant to say to ant.. "Use themeat from the
fridge so we don't have to defrost stuff for dinner".. but I
said.. [16:49.43] <ll|||ll||> "Use the meat from the fridge so
we don't have to download stuff for dinner"

<Hawk|School> i wish emo kids bled money, atleast then their
suicide would be worth something

<meohmy> at the end of the day its smokers that keep the
hospitals running