bash.org archive

<schnorks> Someday when the internet is bigger, we'll all name
our kids by screennames like KewlKid2445

<Cold_n_Alone> oh yea.. remember that one pretty girl i said i
was talking to in emails and staring at in class?  i asked her
about masterbation habits and.. she isnt talking to me
anymore  :/

ComNerd1: would you have sex with anybody?
Auto response from KarpenkoSoup: No women, no kids
ComNerd1: oh, ok
KarpenkoSoup: Yeah, those are the rules.

<Pedsdude> ok...............
<Pedsdude> i said this:
<Pedsdude> friends should be here any min.  so i will not be
on until tuesday 
<Pedsdude> it translated to this in dutch:
<RamboSnakey|NH> rofl
<Pedsdude> Vrienden zouden hier enig min moeten zijn. Zo zal
ik op tot Dinsdag niet zijn
<Pedsdude> it translated back to this in english:
<RamboSnakey|NH>
roflroflroflroflorlforlrolroflfroflroflroflrorlforlforlf
<Pedsdude> Friends will here simply wet nurse must be.  As
will I on until Tuesday are not
<Pedsdude> HAHAHAHA
<RamboSnakey|NH> LOL
<[WS]DeMoNiTe> wtf? LOL

[DigDug] wow, i was so dehydrated this morning...
[DigDug] i took a piss and it looked like there was an egg
yolk coming out of my penis

<_anarchy> heheh
<_anarchy> about time
<Night`> took me a while, because i am special
<_anarchy> indeed
<jokes> Night, special isn't the word =)
<Night`> but it is the euphemism

<SlasherX> #php is all communist based
* @Didgerama drives a tank down the middle of #php
<Ballig> Didgerama: You're a commie, you can't afford a tank
<Ballig> You can ride a bicycle with a dart gun, though

<Rossell> saw this boy I knew today
<Rossell> and I had a startling realisation he was actually a
she!
<Rossell> so for 2 years I was believeing that this girl was a
boy.
<Rossell> so that answers my query about her putting perfume
on

<Calmino> my father purchased a mule
<leah^-^> heh
<Jagfire> this is me caring: asdfgh123
<Jagfire> this is me not caring: zxcvbn321
<Jagfire> and this is me right now: zxcvbn321

<stormin> what's asl?
<Xiautau> age/sex/location
<Xiautau> teen channels have that shit
<Xiautau> not that i go to teen channels

<SandLev> I keep those empty cardboard boxes that used to hold
blank cd-r's... put the pr0n in those...
<SandLev> nobody thinks to search blank cd-r boxes for actuall
stuff
<Zoogle> except someone who is looking for a blank cd.. :/

* darkLem notes there are alot of bash.org quotes that are
just Bill Hicks quotes
<darkLem> cheating bastards.

(¨) join/#idle (X_[WaReZ]_!
[email protected])..
(X_[WaReZ]_) hey
(X_[WaReZ]_) do you know how 2 idle

[@c-rOCK] no mad
[@c-rOCK] just because you and I and guilty had dealings
[@c-rOCK] we were drunk
[@c-rOCK] and we agreed it was a mistake
[@madog] Guilty was a good piece of ass.
[@madog] err.
[@c-rOCK] i gotta give him that yeah he was

<Tbodd> I pull no punches with the women
<Tbodd> otherwise, they just get back up and beat the crap
outta me

*** ag3nt0 (ag3nt@=H2T430-2929.NYCM.splitrock.net) has joined
channel #consolevision
ag3nt0- grrr
ag3nt0- stupid connect
ag3nt0 kicks his isp
*** Signoff: ag3nt0 (Ping Timeout)

<K0ffing> you should Photoshop Raz ... I'll give you a dollar
if you can make his face look less like a butt

<Auratus> I'm making fun of you because I can
<DeepSeaFishin> Well its thanksgiving
<DeepSeaFishin> and we should be giving thanks to each other
<Auratus> I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of
you over the internet

<MST3Claye> there's a site out there that shows people beating
super monkey ball levels really really fast.
<Merlin> I plan on setting a new world speed record for
Monopoly one of these days...
<Merlin> It's called we sit down, setup the game, I pull a gun
and go "look bitches, give me all your money and nobody gets
hurt!"
<Merlin> then I take the thimble hostage at the Water Works
and force everyone to surrender to me, then I win the game.
<Merlin> I figure my friends suck so much, I could win it in
about 30 seconds with that strategy.

<@realitygaps> english - the php of spoken languages

joerodZ3: ppl should chase their dreams
joerodZ3: it's the route to happiness
RGarza983: and jailtime

<Skates> DOS was my favorite operating system, overall
<Skates> it was cool because it took skill to use it

<Ark> whats burnt to a crisp and sits at the top of a
staircase?
<Mattyoo> ???
<leoN> wha?
<Ark> christopher reeves in a house fire
<leoN> dude that is not cool

<@RATA> stupid women
<@RATA> "i wanna hang out but i dont have gas money"
<@RATA> thats slut for "spend your money on me"

Dutchman: I admit ignorance, I have no idea what a Dirty
Sanchez is but thats the name of my fantasy football league

* Arathia serepticously kicks Aytin in the shin
<Arathia> (horribly mispelled)
<Aytin> no, shin is right

blade|uk: oh no
blade|uk: another AOLer
DONTGIVEU: uh yes
DONTGIVEU: who cares im not a bad aoler
DONTGIVEU: i do good for this room
blade|uk: room
blade|uk: haha
blade|uk: typical AOLer
blade|uk: it's called a channel

<Fixxxer> I'm thinking about using Jennifer Connelly's breasts
as a setting for an adventure

<DeX`> i could eat a 4lb london broil and have room left for a
small chinese woman
<Damaceles> after you ate her you'd have to eat again in an
hour

<Cheez> oh ffs. how many times. they should have SO given dos
an LS command

<jamesm> what's a java strategy?
<undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your
legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems
<jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ?

<Que> i don't mind talking
<Que> but having pictures of my penis online
<Que> yeah, not safe
<Throttle-OSX> nah, havin yer cock and yer face in the same
pic is not safe ;)
<Odin> lol
<Throttle-OSX> havin yer cock and yer exgirlfriends face in
the same pics...now thats just funny

<Jake> Caffeine and I are getting along well today.
<Nismorack> Didn't you break up?
<Jake> We talked it over
<Storm> how the hell could you break up with caffeine?
<Storm> that's just insanity
<Jake> I already have to deal with transient insomnia
<Jake> Caffeine just compounds the issue.

<falc> i now declare 'oat' to mean 'on another topic', please
update your geeky brains immediately

<benko> 302 Found -> Location: http://127.0.0.1/
your_machine_has_been_blocked_by_sourceforge.net_due_to_heavy_volume--usually-crawling...
<benko> damndamndamn
<benko> working for a search engine company does have its downsides :-/

[Lyme] My granpa is seriously nuts. When my parents went to
visit him for his 60th anniversary thingie, he wore 1 dangly
woman's earing and a gilligan hat.

* @Death-Blade wishes hotmail would be smart enough to block
any email addresses with painfully obviously invalid domain
names
<@Death-Blade> [email protected] most certainly qualifies
as such
<Sinclair-> oh shit i know that guy!

<skelter_john> the last challenge involved swimming in icy
water, two of them chickened out because it was too cold
<suprdav> bet the nipples would cut glass
<u`creep> THAT should be the challenge

<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her
name would be kimberly wimberly

<Ac3d> think i should archive my pr0n acording to type
(movie,picture,interactive,etc...), alphabetical
(a-f,g-m,etc..), size, or genre?

[+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street,
right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers
Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two
of us"

<`Khan> My mate just called me up and says 'my mum just walked
into my room and goes for god sake open the window and stop
playing with yourself'

<Rangsk> I still remember trying to read from a floppy in
dos... with no floppy in
<Rangsk> I was always too scared to press "fail" cause I
thought it would ruin my floppy drive
<Artanis> lol
<Rangsk> so I had to scramble for a floppy
<Veldhar[GD]> lol
<Rangsk> then type a
<Veldhar[GD]> reminds me of one of my friends, a LONG time
ago, when he knew nothing at comps or so, rebooted his comp
each time he wanted to go back at C:> because he didn't knew
"cd .."

EKBoney: You've got the cat from hell, I've got a dog that
doubles as a mop and vacuum
EKBoney: Maybe we can genetically clone them together and have
a cat-dog-satanic-vacuum-mop!
EKBoney: They'd sell great in the market!
Trumpeter085: praise satan & clean your floors!

<@kmad> yah im switching majors
<@mr420> so whats your new major
<@kmad> English
<@mr420> yuch
<@ChAmP> o.O
<@mr420> from what
<@kmad> cpsc
<@kmad> so boring and stupid
<@ChAmP> english is boringer

Laggyware has left (Quit: There are three types of software.
Free as in speech (FOSS), Free as in beer (Freeware) and Free
as in BitTorrent.)

* DarkDraconis is the enema. o.o
<DarkDraconis> Err, enemy. c.c

<siliconcenturion>: man, half the sales reps at the toyota
dealership should be named Uncle Ben
<siliconcenturion>: black guys trying to sell me rice

<Rjx> someone just posted an ASCII version of goatse in
another channel
<c-rOCK> well c/p it
<c-rOCK> lets see it

<MatthewH12> i heard StrokIt lets u use mouse 'gestures' to
tell your computer what to do
<isajeep> takes mouse inputs creates shortcuts
<NickBlasta> ok so if you move your mouse up and down really
fast will it go to a porn site?
<isajeep> you can do that nick
<NickBlasta> sweet

<spiecq> mike my gf wanna visit canada can we stay at your
place
<Miscreant> yeah, your gf can stay at my place.
<Miscreant> we can find a hotel for you spice

<SideLabel> Rhodz, there is bad porn.
<Rhodz> Dude, when you can masturbate overa guy getting his
ass licked out coz ur too lazy to fast forward, you can
masturbate to anything
<Rhodz> wait, when you said "bash.org", you didn't mean you
submitted my anal lick quote to bash did you?
<Dramon> no i dont know how
<Dramon> i was just thinking of it at the time
<Rhodz> lol ok cool

<Lucy> Anyways... Like no one is online coz it's friday and
everyone is doing stuff and it's not fucking fair coz I wasn't
invited.
<OnslaughtSix> Aww.
<Lucy> Yeah, that's right!
<Lucy> So you have to be nice to me!
<OnslaughtSix> brb
<OnslaughtSix> Sorry, I had to get my violin to play you a sad
song on.

<Chu-Chu-Rocket> dole's making it really hard for me to keep
my IRC window open when my mom walks by
<Foobar> just /clear
<Chu-Chu-Rocket> yeah, but that looks suspicious
<dole> dude
<dole> she just cut off the second rapist's dick
<dole> and left him to bleed in the bathtub
<dole> and he bled to death
* Chu-Chu-Rocket clears.

Rangsk: anti-grav units would put a new spin on weight-loss
programs
Suicidal Insanit: but not mass loss :P
Rangsk: people don't care about that :P

<Kyote> What the fuck would a British version of Fight Club
be? Two really pale guys calling each other wankers and
throwing teabags around?

<casss> divX runs slightly jittery on comp
<casss> is that cause of vid card?
<JtHMx> it's cuz you're gy
<sirg> but how does the codec know that?
<JtHMx> it's magic
<sirg> very cool!
* sirg is way impressed

* ENOMEOFF holds his breath while apt is downloading emacs
< ymir> ENOMEOFF: Nice knowing you.

WhatWasThat13: the medal listing for the Czech Republic: 1337
(1 gold 3 silver 3 brionze 7 total)

<GameFang11> He says, and he pulls out sword from the wall
<GameFang11> he loses 3 HP
<GameFang11> The Thief attacks Christ
<Chris-Hotwire-Ashtear> hehehe
<GameFang11> DAMN! *Chris
<Drakkor> man
<Drakkor> you are going to hell

<AOG> http://Jake.youaremyfriend.com
<Jake> http://Who.Thehellareyou.com ?

<TwiggYGoD> you have all the movies in .rm format, dont you?
<Hiroechan> rm blows goats
<Hiroechan> you don't want it
<TwiggYGoD> yes i do
<TwiggYGoD> it's the smallest format
<TwiggYGoD> and if i want it different, i'll use a converter
<TwiggYGoD> but i myself, PREFER rm
<Hiroechan> you *PREFER* Rm?
<TwiggYGoD> yes
<TwiggYGoD> best visual quality i've seen yet
<Hiroechan> okay, now this is some funny shit
<TwiggYGoD> i hate avi and asf and mpg
<Hiroechan> do you use a Mac?

<m477[Lain]> Customer: "I don't have a cdrom drive, and the CD
is too big to fit in the floppy drive. And the software store
won't take it back. So you have to help me install this,
because it's all your fault. If you had sold me the version of
Windows I wanted, I wouldn't have had to buy Windows 95."

<Atlas> Wouldn't it be easier to sneak a gun in, shoot Ben,
and STEAL BEN STEIN'S MONEY!

(ravnos) im 'ol schoo'
(misfit_) just because you computer is 7 years old and you
have a dialup doesnt make you oldschool :P

<Guilty> I often wake up in a cold sweat, in fright that some
negro has stolen my moves.

<Nutter> This is what our secretary just said on the phone
<Nutter> "Hi, got Anal Fire Brigade on the phone for you..."

<+Tincan> omega could code his way out of a straight jacket!
<@omega> out?
<+Tincan> yeah i guess
<+Tincan> i dunno i just thought of it
<@omega> dude, the rate im going, im going to be coding myself
INTO a straight jacket.
<+Tincan> lolol

*** LiL^EbBiE was kicked by Avatar (it's rude to not reply
when someone's talking to you)
<Avatar> i'm gonna be a great father
<arturo> sif
<arturo> you'll just gaffer tape them up when they say rude
words and kick them out of the room every time they play up