bash.org archive

<Beerman> My dick is so big its population had a revolution.
its now known as the democratic republic of my dick.

«Wizardx8»: Damn those transparent eyelids...
«Cav»: i should mod my eyes
«Cav»: and put a one way valve on my arse
«Wizardx8»: Cav, your arse is 2 way at the moment? Confirms it
really :P
«Cav»: god damnit :)

<_pLaGueD_> do you know a cheat for invincibility?
<Dead_One> yeah
<_pLaGueD_> how?
<Dead_One> type bind "mouse1" "kill"
<Dead_One> it blows up what ever you are looking at

<glasnost> i didn't have a life.
<glasnost> i had a BBS.

<Sev> Come on.  You know that you want to die in a way that
inspires people to invent new, flaming drinks.

<Shinji>  I heard Great White's writing a new song after the
disaster
<Shinji>  "Once Bitten, Twice OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M ON FIRE
AHHHHH"

<Scofco> i could play with vaginas all day
<Scofco> but boobs, i can play with for only 10 minutes, then
i get bored

<Lepper> if you pierce your rectum like 5 times, your poop
would make weird shapes
<Lepper> like star shaped

<Gho5t> i decided against that php bumper sticker
<Gho5t> i don't want my friends from home to think i turned
into a super geek
<Gho5t> i can just imagine what would happen when they ask
what 'php' meant
<ASleep>hah
<ASleep>I don't drive so my PHP sticker is on my laptop.
<ASleep> Of course, I'm getting my php tattoo this weekend so
it doesn't matter.

<FoxMcCloud> Do you think Shigeru Miyamoto screams out
pokemon-names during sex?

Chris: well, idle hands are the devil's playdgroun
Lotach: which is why god invented porn
Chris: yes
Lotach: so man would not resort to the devil's deeds

< Ammon > i rememeber that dare where i had to stick that
tampon in my ass. it hurt for a minute but then i got aroused

<radii> i'm unRARing, listening to an MP3, AOLing, useing
FlashFXP, Serv-U, AIM, mIRC and going to that wepage
<baloo_> aoling = molesting 13 year-old girls online?
<pagan> baloo: no it means your messaging them to come over
and get molested
<radii> yeah, duh!

<McManus-wrk> how 'bout a pr0n site?  you'd get tons of hits 
:)
<manual_overide> McManus-wrk: LOL
<McManus-wrk> :D
<KT> when the page loads up the page should say "kiddie pr0n
is uncool! you should be ashamed of yourself! your IP has been
logged and sent to the nearest law enforcement agency"
<McManus-wrk> and then CLICK HERE for kiddie pr0n...

<OmegaWeapon> no i believe you but i aslo think you are lying

* pwnguin begins to think that gentoo politics rivals 18th
century italy for complexity

<Hellfire_> There's been a dramatic upswing in tards misnaming
stuff lately on p2p nets. It could just be WinMX though...
<Cornjob7> I tryed downloading Blade II and got Orange County.
<Cornjob7> The irony is that Orange county was better.

<Mime> If you ejaculate on the moon, do you go flying
backwards?

<WarBuddha> can someone explain to me why i have another
cd-rom drive all of a sudden
<WarBuddha> sigh
<WarBuddha> my computer hates me
*** Quits: WarBuddha (Quit: Connection reset by peer)

<jalex> hmm, they recycled 14,226 lbs. of paper here in Sept.
<Vco> all porno?
<cruentus> 14,226 lbs. of pr0n
<cruentus> what is that, 7 tons?
<_spartan_> just over
<roundfeh> heh
<cruentus> what method is used to seperate the paper from the
sticky stuff in the recycling process?
<Vco> cheap immigrant labour

<CrazySpence> e-mail is just really lagged irc

<Teegus> i should prolly go to sleep soon so i can be awake
when my gf gets here. not to mention being at least partially
conscious for the whole getting laid part
<Teegus> but... urge to html... so strong
<@Goonigoogoo> no, women love it when you fall asleep on top
of them
<@Goonigoogoo> or under them, depending on her sexual
positioning preference
<Teegus> its like my inner geek is fighting my hormones
<Teegus> and losing.... quickly

Marnen: you'd think he'd take a second to check spelling,
though
Brodie: Mr. Wheaton is a busy man.
Marnen: They have machines to do that now.
sol-D: they also have machines that'll breathe for you. how
cool is that>
Brodie: He's reminding people in a grocery store that he used
to be famous.
Marnen: Besides, Wesley Crusher is too intelligent to make
spelling mistakes in documents that the whole Federation's
gonna read...*SLAP*...did I really say that?
spinn: you did, plus the *SLAP* and the part after it, which
frankly I'd be more embarrassed about

<^catalyst> we're a bunch of geeks, we collectively know
everything.
<WhiteyFord> yeah.. some of us even know how to get laid
<Redback> im sure a large majority know how WhiteyFord
<Redback> its just some strugle with the prerequsites

* phx^mod looks at isolan thermal management tray
<phx^mod> this looks like some serious cooling potential ;)
[some time later]
<phx^mod> ow
<phx^mod> its got serious finger removal potential too :/

<pms> Three Baby Boomers are still missing following Friday's
collapse of a massive Jenga tower in this Atlanta suburb.

<dustin> you ever masturbated on a washer when it was on spin
cycle ?
<dustin> it's the best
<Sh3lby> if u say  so
<dustin> just make sure it's not a public washing place
<dustin> they don't take kindly to things like that

*** booger is now known as BROADCAST
* BROADCAST MESSAGE FROM ETG OPS: we all suck here tonight, so
we are going to bounce chanserv a few times then disco
ky-hub-1.etg.sucks.com and force a few netsplits on
zaire-congo-hub-gw.etg.africa.org just because - vd whiz

<Guyp> but now i should make a decision, should i go get the
gf4 or go to a l33t koala zoo :(

<Ntruder> someone peed in the dating pool here

<GimpyMcsquibble>I wonder if there have ever been 2 30 yr old
guys, both pretending to be gay young boys, who wanted to meet
another gay young boy, and they met, and were like sheeit man

<Anla_Shok> hmm, i guess i just prefer a landrover to a
marriage
<Anla_Shok> unless the marriage comes with a landrover
<Anla_Shok> then i would have to rethink

Chibinaeko: OH OH!!! Tell me what a boygasm feels like!!!!
azurerenraku: Too hard to explain
Chibinaeko: would you try for a scooby snack?

<TripleRach> But really I could never find abortion acceptable
because I don't know I have all this maternally love stuff and
I want to have lots of kids someday
<ksennin> TripleRach, I can help you.
<ksennin> I happen to be producing upwards of 1,000 sperms per
second.
<TripleRach> ...
<ksennin> Hypothetically, I could double the world's
population in a couple of weeks.

<yarso> COULD NE1 HELP
<@zenhove> with what? caps lock?

<sexy_westie> lmao. . . . . reminds me of a childhood story
<sexy_westie> my grandmother bought my mother (10yrs old at
time) a chihuahua pup (cost a bomb apparently) only for the
cat to eat it in the first day lmao
<sexy_westie> must have thought it was a yapping rat

<foop> i've felt girl ejaculations
<sneak> i'm talking about apache

<[cr0wz]> my dildo hurts
<_SuPeR_Fly_> my arse hurts
<wisteria101> see a doc
<[cr0wz]> i wonder why
* FadeJade sees a connection

<Aussiedog> lol you know what happend in myers the otherday
<Aussiedog> i was in there and i go.. wow this is a cool cd,
*talks to shopkeeper* hey what is this cd
<Aussiedog> she gives me it and asks me if i am interested in
buying
<Aussiedog> and i go nar.. i just wanna kniow what songs are
on it so i can download them
<Aussiedog> she was so pissed

* Seph gives potatoe a *Super Tight And Really Super Erotic
Groping Fondling Earth Shattering Sonic Boom Oh Gawd If You
Stop I'll Kill You Better Than Heaven Yet Hotter Than Hell
Watch Where Ya Stick Yer Hands Super Huge Oh Gawd Oh Gawd Oh
Gawd Don't Ya Dare Stop Touching Me Huggeroonies And A Knees
Are Shaking Earth Is Trembling My Heart Has Stop Beating
Passionit Knees Shaking Lots A Goosebumps Was That The Ground
Moving Passionate Wet Deep
<Seph> um....
<Seph> wrong one

[msg.argvee([email protected])]
ok whoever made ircii interfac ewas clearly not considering
drunk people when doing i

<wabbit> ok ... we dont choose what cum tastes like ...
otherwise it would taste a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT!!!

*** Quits: ZiGgA (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<ZiGgA> help me..
<ZiGgA> i think i am being packetted!
<ZiGgA> my receive light is on fulltime!

< Danelope> I know what I need.
< Danelope> I need the cool shoeshine.
<@harb> Shoeshine?
<@harb> wt?
<@harb> If that has a double meaning, sign me up.

<nein> what unix o.s. should i install on a 486 with 7megs
ram?
<nein> laptop
<A-KO> Trashcan with kernel I.7.5u-ck.5
<A-KO> :)
<nein> is that a free download?
<nein> heheh
<nein> will it run aol?

<deimos> too bad I didn't beat up quatoria
<deimos> I'm his puppet apparently
<deimos> since he has his hand up my ass all the time
<deimos> plz to be removing that btw

*** God was kicked by BlackYoshi (AHAHAHAHA!!!!)
*** ChanServ sets mode: -o BlackYoshi
<BlackYoshi> I guess that's what I get for kicking god. =(

<Godsey> I want to beta test EverQuest 2 and get paid for it
<etrigan> oh i'd do that but so would tons of gamers :/
<Godsey> I'm highly qualified :)
<Godsey> I am fat and have BO

<Jason> What's NRE?
<Scott> NRE - New Relationship Energy!
<Scott> It's just like cocaine, only more expensive.

<Steempy> Merc: Got any amusing tales of retail stupidity?
<Mercster> hmmm.......this isn't a good email address:
<Mercster> "[email protected]"
<Steempy> Could be a Korean guy called Lu Bek Ing

<thc\ip> just cus i have like a hjalf oz of weed in my
keyboard...
<thc\ip> dont mean i cant spell

<Kmart-X17> I have a nice life sucking guys dicks
<Kmart-X17> typo

<shev> Efnet needs to get mIRC to include an air raid siren
wav file, and play it when there's a server hack

<Silent> I see that many designers are using Macs to draw. I
was wondering what's wring with Windows and Linux, and that's
why I asked.
<G-Money> Silent
<G-Money> mac's are for creative people
<G-Money> if we use non-macs, we lose our creativity
<G-Money> its part of owning a mac
<Silent> In what sense?
<G-Money> are a you a man of god Silent?
<G-Money> in the biblical tale with samson and delilah
<G-Money> samson loses his power when delilah, who was a whore
btw, cut his hair
<G-Money> its somewhat like a mac

<clemmy> damn leetspeek ... whenever I write 'skills' I write
'skillz', even in university homework

<Fitteh> My cellphone has a clock in it though and that is
what I use.
<ptj225A> Don't you have the Speaking Clock?
<MaxBack> Who doesn't? Here, let me just pull my time-midget
out of my pocket and slap his bottom. Sounds like it's 2:24,
and that's in the P.M.

<manos> dude i found a website with some cool java aplets
<placid> xmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
<placid> url?
<manos> C:\program files\anfy\applets.htm
<placid> get a life
<manos> ?

<vballa> i didnt know how to get to my friends place the other
day... and suddenly i caught myself asking him for the URL to
his house.

<[Phoenix]> My keyboard is gay?
<Howdy> yes, but thats no reason to feel uncomfortable.. a gay
keyboard can touch your digits and it not be sexual

<Slime> Smearing your weiner in dog food and going over to Rex
does not count as losing your virginity
<Slime> Trust me, I should know
<Slime> You should have seen the faces at the hospital when I
asked where the "Ward for People Who Have Had Their Penises
Chewed On By Dogs"

<MrSatan> gordon>you thecms "logo2 that you drew that gets
used on everything?
<gordon> eh?!
<ManInBlac> <MrSatan> gordon> you know the CMS "logo" that you
drew, that gets used on everything?
<ManInBlac> got to love the MrSatan -> English translator on
AltaVista  

<Aglandiir> All you have to do is have a huge amount of energy
<Aglandiir> etc.
<Aglandiir> you can make a l33t food replicator
<+Bayonetto> I must admit
<Aeriana> But I want n3rd to DCC me food everyday.
<Aeriana> ;)
<+Bayonetto> I'd rather be able to fire myself to the coast or
something.
<+Triskelios> but you're cooking it...
<+Triskelios> =P
<Aeriana> No, I'm too lazy.
<+Arty2> you'll download it through kazaa
<+Triskelios> haha
<+Triskelios> pirated food
<Aeriana> Then they'd be suing you for copyrights.
<+Bayonetto> illegaly shared pizza.
<Aglandiir> It would be dummy food
<+Arty2> cracks for pasta
<+Triskelios> free KFC for everyone
<Aglandiir> it wouldn't be a burger
<Aglandiir> it would be a photo of Madonna screaming at you
<Aglandiir> YOU BTCH WHY ARE YOU STEALING MY FOOD

* Rogue feeds CardO's ass a cracker so he'll stop talking
outta it

*** Kelly19_ ([email protected]) joined #hack at 14:12
[885420755] <#hack/Kelly19_> Hi, my name is Rachel.  I'm gonne
be a spam^H^H^H^Hporn model!  wanna see my pictures?  too bad!
wanna click on cool banners?  uhh. shit. i forgot my own
webpage! TEEHEE!
<#hack/Kelly19_> ok sorry guys, no porn for you today! bye
now!
*** Kelly19_ ([email protected]) left #hack at 14:12

<athena-> I'm not a jew, but I have been known to make some
boys men at age 13 *wink*

<tirloni> drolp, I was going to get a XP1900+, then a bill
suddenly got in my table. Then I moved to a XP1500. Another
bill, Duron. By the end of the month Iwas looking at the
prices of a p133mmx
<aq> pharcyde: are you running a window manager?
<tirloni> now I'm happy with my calculator

<LordBlink> i once made out with a picture of the sorceress
<LordBlink> does that make me lame?

<Viper187> ok
<Viper187> I don't like Alcohol
<Viper187> fuckin auto-eject
<Viper187> It read the Halo CD, then spit the CD back out at
me
<Viper187> causing the CD tray to knock my goddamn glass off
the desk

<alex> I have this great method of watching someone through
the crook of my arm that I developed when I was in grade
school so I could look at pretty girls with my head down on my
desk