bash.org archive

<intra> I have to go to Walmart to get some deoderant. But I
thought it would be weird to buy just deoderant, so I thought
about getting some DING-DONGs or something, but then I'd be
buying DING-DONGS and DEODERANT. So I figure I might buy a
shirt, but then I'd be buying DING DONGS, DEODERANT and a
SHIRT. So I'm screwed no matter what I buy.

<jUmB0> lets buy cocaine and support south american
independence

<APE_> i always feel like im entering launch codes for norad
when i have to get nickserv to release my nick

<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> ew
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> yoru dad ejaculates into my mouth
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> er.
<bR^QuAnTuM-tX-> your mouth*

<usrg>  cigarettes are carcinogenic, too
<oink2u> actually, it's the smoke that you inhale from the
cigarette that's carcinogenic
<usrg> well DUH  :-P
<usrg> you don't eat the damn thing!

<Mal> I was hoping for a mod chip on my dick so I can screw
foreign chicks

* Trust is back from "" (Away for 32330secs (08:58:50))
<elDiablo> O_O
* Trust is away "Upgrading Away Script" at Monday September
15th 2003 05:07:44pm GMT

<mage> it will be nice to be back in america
<sparks> I feel the same way
<sparks> having come from alabama

<ljlane> I need to do a non-greedy scan on a few gigs of data
for a pattern containing hex and some text. Ideas?
<RichiH> ljlane: suicide?

<onTheReal> evb = fagget?
<evb> onthereal: No, I'm just fabulous.

* jamaisvu makes ^Bret^ give him head
<^Bret^> again?
<jamaisvu> I HAVE AN INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR HEAD
<^Bret^> fuck....ok, I didn't have time to floss this morning.
<^Bret^> unzip your pants, and I'l *try* not to laugh this
time
<jamaisvu> =(

AgentScrewball: i know a guy who had a plastic tube implanted
in one of his balls b/c of surgery. we called him mr.
plesticle

<LynxCrR>You'd think if something were trivial you wouldn't
fail at it.
<UprightMan>Says Who?
<UprightMan>You can make something 2000 times
<UprightMan>and still mess up
<UprightMan>Like, Ive peed a few hundred trillion times, but I
still sometimes miss the toilet!

<chernobyl> flash isn't going down. flash is putting java out
of business
<chernobyl> how long has XML been around, and no one's moving
to it

<Harima Dugong> THere I got my pants cleaned up from all the
cum on it
<Square    Monkey> LOL
<Harima Dugong> i meant gum

<BillyM> If life were like IRC, my mom would be kicked for
flooding and repeating text.

(wd) there's like a whole dentist syndrome thing called
"mountain dew mouth"
(wd) in which your teeth are just fugly

(goosedaemon) someone define "talking out of [a] ass"
(Leper_Mess) goose; you know.. get a donkey, and speak without
moving your lips so it looks like the donkey's talking.

<|Chris> that geek issues logo looks like you're advertising a
soft rock radio station

<slifty> You know why sex when camping is so great?
<slifty> Because it's fucking in tents!

* hipnotoad tastes victory
<Goonigoogoo> that was tony jerking off into the punch bowl

IAmOsomo4000: now who is stupid or non intellegeint now

<+LS|Krylar> how much caffeine does it take before u get the
shakes?
<+void_> that depends on how strong you want the shakes to be

<schwarPC> this icr client fixes spellings...

<octal> i think meeting lots of cute/etc. girls is easier if
you're deaf and thus can tolerate raves.

<Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long
brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
<Soulfly-> YOU THINK ABOUT SEX POSITIONS DONT U?
<simo> no
<simo> i wank
<Croew> oh god
* Croew has quit IRC

[@Dz[Here]] Did you see Episode 2?
[@Dz[Here]] You'll want to have SEX with Natalie Portman after
it
[@Dz[Here]] I seriously thing that... uh... $calc(($150
million / $7) / 2) guys want to have sex with her!

<ShrikeX> YEAH
<ShrikeX> DNS IS BACK
<Damascus`> and it's better than ever.

<MosH> The girl was a slut.
<MrSelfDestruct^v26> loose as a goose eh
<MosH> yeah I had to strap a 2 by 4 to my ass
<MosH> so I didnt fall in that shit

<QuantumKat> Whitehouse Communications Director Dan Bartlett
has admitted that 'applause lines' were written into the
President's State of the Union Address of 2004. He went on to
say some of the applause was genuine.
<QuantumKat> everybody clap now
<mash|dead> ...
<mikedude> <applause sign lights up>

<hakan> mine is bent upwards but the base points down
<hakan> its like a plant trying to grow to get more sunlight
<helminthes> yeah except it's your weiner
<hakan> but theres moss on it

<thcip> and i try to finger god, but it tells me there is no
such users..but my chaplain told me god is
everywhere..certainly he should be on my raq..
<websales_arron> Although it's not mentioned in the Rackshack
Terms of Service or Acceptable Use Policy, we will be unable
to provide you support in finding God.

<Tomes> rpenguin is the picture of credibility, you know.
<Tomes> rpenguin is the standard of integrity to whom all
others are compared
<Tomes> when i meet a man, i ask, in true socratic method, "is
this a greater man, or a lesser man, than rpenguin?"

<shadok> bo gritz shot himself and only inflicted a flesh
wound
<shadok> the quality of american fascism has declined notably
in recent times
<shadok> i blame flouride

<DaveCBio> Man, if drama could be harnassed as a power source
the world
would be lit up forever

<Firemoth> Anyone know how long a male bird will usually go
out looking for food?
<milenko> Firemoth: spose it depends on what bird
<Firemoth> Plover.
<Firemoth> We've got a female bird here with 4 babies, the
dad's been gone all day and hasn't come back yet.
<milenko> Firemoth: get the female to apply for social
security

<[pxd]Dan> is it me or does every boy / girl online in the use
or canada have parents who are divorced or separated or close
to
<I_AM_AVRIL> most of them just do it for the sympathy
<I_AM_AVRIL> and while we're on the subject, my mums dead
<I_AM_AVRIL> and i slit my wrists

<Uber_DM> you know your bad when you are juggling with one
hand, and typing with the other!
<Vang> ...
<Ming> heh
<Vang> Please tell me that you are not juggling two balls...

< FuzzyKaos > oh oh guess what i got today!!??
< Zooz > Fuzzy - Herpes? :)

<fudge> wow
<fudge> i am blessed
<fudge> ffx-2 AND an AOL 9.0 disc
<ShinakuTK_> ...some one gave you a AOHELL disk for a crimbo
present?
<fudge> i doubt it's a xmas present
<fudge> i just get them all year then give them away at
halloween to the kiddies
<ShinakuTK_> lol

<`Tag> you have a lot of anger from efnet in you
<`Tag> and it shows

<baccus> anybody want the harry potter book in one big html
file?
<whytyf0rd> 900 pages via html isn't fun to read
<whytyf0rd> too bad the printer paper will cost more than the
book
<whytyf0rd> the book is only 15 dollars
<baccus> the printer at work is always free
<whytyf0rd> ITS ONLY 15 DOLLARS
<KungFuGrp> so are most cds whityfOrd
<KungFuGrp> but we download those dont we

<Sentenced4Life> Im from ohio..w00t w00r
<int0x6h> that would explain the handle right?

<kingBooze> is there a spanish -> english translator that
sucks less dicks than altavista.babelfish?
<LostXanadu> puerto ricans

<MindRape> don't mind me, i'm divorced =)
<MindRape> still going thru the damn thing
<MindRape> she's sueing me for my penis
<Deeply> suing you for your penis?
<MindRape> yea, its bigger than hers :>

<Davis[half-here> http://www.tubgirl.com                
<---is that a rom site?
<@Mintzs> yes

<cheech> Ugh! Parents, who needs them?
<guailo> retards.

<Zimbraizo> its ok to be fat
<Zimbraizo> but you should be fat between 3am and 6am when i
am sleeping

<Nukeitall> Hey guys, I need a list of issues people always
discuss but can never truly resolve.
<Dreadnought> whether god really DOES kill a kitten every time
a person masturbates
<Dreadnought> and if domokun are real
<WizardofWestmarch> oh domo is real
<Treen> yeah, domo's real
<Astyanax> pfft of course domo is real
* Dreadnought puts on his domo suit
<Astyanax> doiiiii
<WizardofWestmarch> look at all his crazy hijinks living with
Usajii
<Nukeitall> Domokun kills kittens because of a large tumor
making him think god speaks to him. next.

*** BennyHill has joined #lobby
<Benny_Hill> BOOBIES, TITS, CANS, BEWBEEIS, MUFFINS, BOULDERS,
YABBOS, SWEATERMEAT, JIGGLERS, BAZOOMS, MEAT PUPPETS, MILK
WAGONS, JUBBLIES, BREASTESSES, HAPPYSACKS, TATAS, BAAABOOMS,
TWIN PEAKS, TWEETERS, CHI CHI'S, COCONUTS, BOOBLATINES,
MAMAMAMARRIES, SWEATER PUPPIES, BAGOS, FLESH BAGS, WHOOPERS,
PILLOWS, BOYS TOYS, DOUBLE MOUNDS, TEATS
<Benny_Hill> GLOBES OF WONDER, BAZONGAS, BOSOMS, BLOUSE
WEASELS, BIG'UNS, MELONS, TITILATIONS, BAZOOKAS, JIGGLYS,
HOOTERS, BREASTS, JOY TOYS, SQUEEZIES, KNOCKERS, FAKE O BAGOS,
JUGS, RACK, WUBBAS, KNOBS, HEADLIGHTS, FUNBAGS, PUPPIES, and
of course WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRACTION !!!!
<ProfessorEvil> :O
<ProfessorEvil> I don't think i've ever seen it put so
eloquently before.

<moku> It is difficult. People always want me to walk on
water, but I can only do that when the water is frozen...
<BobTheMilkman> heh, so THAT's how jesus did it, the tricky
bastard

* bobf says his nick really means battery operated boyfriend

<KamiNoBaka> like a version, wooo, ctcp'd for the very first
time

* Suzuran managed to make KDE change all of the text and error
messages (even the ones in shell windows) to Japanese.
<kinzillah> Suzuran: can you read them though?
<Suzuran> kinzillah: Hell no. ^_^

<dustin> i just bought israel off ebay

<BBKSleep> I got busy on thursday, it reminded me of why I
don't get busy.

<Coco13> Girls are a waste of polygons.

Crackuh83: i drank half a bottle of vodka.
babibuterfli: r u ok?
Crackuh83: yeah i'm fine.
babibuterfli: thats no good
Crackuh83: i was fine.
Crackuh83: didn't piss blood or anything
Crackuh83: didn't really get a hangover.
babibuterfli: still shouldn't drink that much
Crackuh83: it gives your liver super powers
babibuterfli: no it doesn't

james: wouldnt it be cool to live in a giant oval room
james: when ppl come over, u can be like, sit in the corner
plz, and they'll get confused

<[SA]Jibaku> Guys, by what voodoo does ikaruga compress to a
scant 17 megabytes?
<HentaiTentacleDemon> The good voodoo
<[SA]MofoTPG> The magic of "incomplete download"?

procrastination is like masturbation, it feels real good while
your doing it, but in the end you realize your just screwing
yourself/

<Neo_Rockman> ummm... if it's friday the 7th, does this mean
that in 7 more days it will be friday the 13th?
<Neo_Rockman> wait..

* Mike0ne sneaks up quietly and has sex in Jarrith
<cakemix26> just ackt up
<Jarrith> MIKEONE HAS HERPES
<Jarrith> oh god
* Jarrith runs away
<Jarrith> that was badly timed

·sh|a|tter· Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin at
the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab down
the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
fetish gayporn.
·sh|a|tter· man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns
c4c|Dthsmrf{wiz3rk}  ROFLMAO!

(AngelGrl) unix sounds like lego.. am i right?

<Radiosity> Mom sells baby for $2,000, buys VCR and
PlayStations
<Frizlefry> who'd actually buy a baby?
<Frizlefry> like I want to take care of someone else's kid
<Frizlefry> I mean, the only way I'd buy a baby is if I were a
pedophile or a cannibal
<Frizlefry> BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME
<Radiosity> or both!
<Frizlefry> yes. tenderize the shit out of it before cooking

<slut> i'm banned from kmart for stealing condoms i'll never
use

<hobbs> SetiAtHome -- turn your laptop into a space heater. :)

<th0m> have you ever had a booger that looked like it was
designed by h. r. giger