bash.org archive

<Grant|BnW> Have you seen what happens if you give the
mariners a sheep?
<CrashCat> lots of uses
<Grant|BnW> "A sheep. Lovely! Sheep have many uses, and the
voyage is long."
<CrashCat> try giving them a woman
<Grant|BnW> What do they say?
<Grant|BnW> I'm trying to be nice now, so I don't want to if
they'll rape or eat her.
<Grant|BnW> I wouldn't put anything past fucking accordian
players.

<Ouroboros> Bandwidth is my antidrug.

<navi> HELLO, MY NAME IS ASHLEIGH, AND I AM REAL.
<Chibi-Usa> HELLO
<Chibi-Usa> MY NAME IS CHIBI
<Chibi-Usa> AND I AM A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION
<Frostuman_The_White> HELLO
<Frostuman_The_White> MY NAME IS FROSTUMAN THE WHITE 
<navi> and you are going to take over Middle Earth
<Frostuman_The_White> AND I AM AN ALCO---I'M GOD! YES! THAT'S
WHAT I MEANT!

<PsychoDreameR> i want a good war script
<PsychoDreameR> when can i get one??
<placid> www.nato.com

<Psycho|Give> ACK! THESE TWO LESBIANS WANT MY KID!!!
<L0ne_W0lf> how much they willing to pay?
<Psycho|Give> i dunno but they want me to give them sperm and
have my kid...hell fuckin no
<L0ne_W0lf> why not
<Psycho|Give> cuz it's too early in my life for that shit
<L0ne_W0lf> mix baking soda in water, and charge them for it

<jud_> some of the stuff that people say on quakenet... feels
like i get penalized by one IQ point just for reading it

<[ric]> personally I prefer a nice big vibro up the ass while
typing two handed
<gaymale> your coworkers get suspicious if you type good one
hand in front of them
<[ric]> yeh.. luckily I have the door wired up to the vibro,
that way the motor cuts out as they enter the room

<NinjaStu> oh fuckies
<NinjaStu> 2am
<NinjaStu> and such a good book
<NinjaStu> THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS ME!
<NinjaStu> OH MY TORTURED SOUL!
<NinjaStu> OH DAMN I"M OUT OF MASCARA
<NinjaStu> AND MY TESTICLES ITCH
<Hiryuu> XD
<NinjaStu> that was my impression of a Hot Topic employee
<NinjaStu> thank you thank you
<NinjaStu> i'll be here all week

<cj_> i hate it when someone at work has to point out to me
that my
shirt is both inside out and backwards.
<jej> is it?
<cj_> it is.
<cj_> i pulled the whole Fashion Statement routine..

<spicyham> guess i will go to library to use encyclepedia
tomorrow ... all my dictionary doesn't have the meaning of
leet

<dustin> seti@home isn't actually doing anything worth while,
they're just trying to see how many morons they can get to
waste cpu cycles
<Teck7> no there doing a great thing
<dustin> when they finally do find intelligent life they're
gonna come down and kick your ass for wasting cpu cycles

* stormo is potentially cosplaying at manifest this year
<DannyS> stormo: you'll still lose all respect
<DannyS> i mean, it's like voluntarily going out in front of
traffic and ramming a set of computer speakers up your arse
<DannyS> except the latter gets you more friends and respect

<-(@Bloodshed)-> God my nuts stink
<-(@Bloodshed)-> *What The Fuck*
<-(@SleazyC)-> lmao..
<-(@SleazyC)-> you smell your nuts
<-(@Bloodshed)-> Well, I don't want to walk around with
stink-nuts and not know it

<Tassadar2000> Hey! Why did you ban me? I pay my taxes!

<eye-dee-ten-tee> is this kazaa an indian program??
<eye-dee-ten-tee> I mean the name sounds like something from
arabia
<Moo> Yeah.. president of Afghanistan, Hamid Kazaa

<BlznAzn> i find it kinky to use my cock as a probe tool to
remove lint between the toes of a foot thats been inside a
work boot all day
<pagan> you must like to have Athlete's Cock

<Vill> I think anti-cornform has great meaning to an eleiteist
<Gotterdammerung> Vill: learn how to spell :P
<Vill> Gotterdammerung: I did then I fucked up when I learned
to type :(

<evenpar123> Radioactive rain would be pretty freaky
<evenpar123> You'd need a pretty strong umbrella...
<Slant> evenpar123: Umbrella wouldn't help.
<evenpar123> Lead bubble?
<Slant> Shit, living inside of a motorized lead bubble would
be cool.
<evenpar123> Where would you get gas?
<Slant> You could use the rain.
<evenpar123> But, how would you use the internet?
<mightyflo> use aol

<tye>   and deref'ing is easy to remember because robots, ->[
, use simple integer indices while samuri, ->{ , have names
for everything, and aliens, ->( , use functional programming

<DMAUL-away> omg that sucked..never get horny while your on
the toilet..
<DMAUL-away> i got it up and got stuck in the toilet
<DMAUL-away> worst 20 minutes of my life

<_absent> Dilbert: why dont you tell everyone about the time
you overdosed on shrooms, and the cops found you in a field
covered in your own feces shaking a hand in the air and
claiming the federal government was planning to take your life

<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE

<Ransome_LightHawk> You know, I heard "The Passion" I so good
they are going to make a book about it
<Jaffar> Yeah. I think they're calling it "The Bible" or
something
<Jaffar> I dunno, sounds kind of silly to me.
* Ransome_LightHawk nods
<Jaffar> I mean, who'd read a book called "The Bible". Psh.

<Lord-Data> "your dog can be smarter!" ... god .. spam is
reaching for ideas me thinks

*** Keyser is now known as Keyser|driveby
<Keyser|driveby> brb
<Keyser|driveby> crawling on floor for a while :\

<WargasM> i like chocolate
<WargasM> it makes me think of boobies
<WargasM> i wonder if you could make a woman lactate chocolate
milk, if the DNA was just right

(phosphor) run nekid through new york screaming "my clothes
were on flight 11"

<+Ava|anch3> i was just banned from a hacker channel
<+Ava|anch3> i told him in german that i am his god
<+Ava|anch3> and he understood it
<+Ava|anch3> then i told him i loved him
<+Ava|anch3> and he loves me
[+cerb] hehehe
<+Ava|anch3> now hes packeting me :/

<active1> how to become a bot ???
<dieppiej> first you have to become a computer, then you have
to get an 24/7 internet connection and plug it into yourself..
install a stable *BSD OS and then install the right
application on yourself
<active1> it is so easy :))))
<dieppiej> I wonder how you are going to do the first step..

<kenlay> Roses are #FF0000
<kenlay> Violets are #0000FF
<kenlay>
01101001001000000110011001110101011000110110101101100101011001000010000001111001011011110111010101110010001000000110110101101111011011010000110100001010011000010110111001100100001000000110111001101111011101110010000001100110011011110111001000100000011110010110111101110101
<kenlay> Nerd poetry.

[McMoo] wow
[McMoo] public radio is playing charles mingus
[thinkmad] as opposed to private radio
[McMoo] yes
[Guilty] Xite was trying to be witty there
[Guilty] But he failed
[McMoo] but he failed

* EndersShadow remembers erector sets, you had to buy several
before you had enough parts to have a big erection

<player> oh i lag hard
<geez> lag=?
<player> that means my connection is slow
<geez> oh... i thought you said something dirty..

<Dyn|work> just say BREASTS and pike is wide awake
<molo> BREASTESES
<pike|sl33p> HI MOLO!

<zeitgeist> or you could stick in some crap sendmail and root
that
<zeitgeist> so many ways to get a shell dude :)
<lsd> hehe
<zeitgeist> and they arent illegal if its your box :P
<Fryboy> hehe
<Fryboy> "..and its not cheating cos its YOUR DOG"
<lsd> lol
<zeitgeist> and its not homosexual incest cause its YOUR
stepbrother
<Fryboy> O_O
<Fryboy> and its not trespass to property, cos it was running
SCO
<zeitgeist> lol

*** oghost kicked prym from #hack ( children must be at least
this tall to ride #hack )

<FatherShark> Does anyone know how to make real Sangria?
<[empathy]> blood of retards
<FatherShark> okay, find me a vein empathy.

<ArtyMorty> we kill all the jehovah's witnesses once and for
all, either we get some
peace and quiet or we get hit by lightning from a clear sky

<ecI> Remember kiddies, its not underage, just fun sized!

(+RC-Cola): it'd be awesome if like there were people
breakdancing
(+RC-Cola): and you just got your boner out and spun like a
top on your boner
(+RC-Cola): and held your feet behind your head in a
suplex-style arc
(+Mr_Legacy): RC: you just might be retarted.
(+RC-Cola): oh my bad

<trife> past 2 days i been in the best mood dunno why
<far_away-> cuz u wante sex0rs
<trife> well i was about to get laid yesterday but my stepdad
just fuckin got home
<trife> :(
<trife> as soon as i unbutton her pants my stepdad pulls in
driveway
<far_away-> fuck him
<HSOK> yeah man
<HSOK> just go at her!
<HSOK> shoulda gone downstairs, gave him a twenty and said "go
see a movie, i need a little time with the lady"

<Chicken> i used to work at the zoo cleaning up crap
<DigitallyChallenged> hahaha
<Chicken> they paid my 645 an hour
<Chicken> me
<DigitallyChallenged> woah holy shit
<DigitallyChallenged> i could do that!
<DigitallyChallenged> gimmie a shovel!
<Chicken> no
<Chicken> 6.45
<DigitallyChallenged> oh
<Chicken> LOL
<DigitallyChallenged> well that's not as good...

<Domino> what are you doing?
<Elenkis> eating and drinking and being merry
<Elenkis> well, eating and dirnking anyway
<Elenkis> dirnking
<Elenkis> ...
<Elenkis> drinking
<Elenkis> and typing too fast

<Airlea> it used to horrify me every time we went past a field
of sheep.. he'd make all these noises. That's why he's an ex.

<Black_Moons> Well, as I see it, if they start doing geeky
things like play chess they might wanna do other geeky
things.. like doing geeks.

* Apollo- pokes IceKarma
* IceKarma pokes Apollo- back
* Apollo- i spoked
<Apollo-> s/i/is/
<Apollo-> s/spoked/poked/
<Apollo-> s/Apollo- i spoked/Apollo is drunk/

<abel> !8ball Did I just fart?
<ChanServ> abel: It is decidedly so.
<abel> HAHAH HE KNOWS ALL

<Fro> i thought you had 24/7 support
<@TEKnoFLVA> yes but that doesn't mean you can use it 24/7

<`Sesshomaru> can i have a bullet
<CH> only if it comes out the muzzle

<zaney> whats gaotse.cs url
<zaney> correct 1

<mrs> ontariom the phone is for you
<sully> OntarioM is
~Ontario@CPE************.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com * Toronto
Man
<sully> OntarioM on #toronto #phonesex #masturbation
<sully> Coincidence?

<overandoutcaptn> get em out
<maxim|away> yeah kate
<maxim|away> if your mum can
<maxim|away> SO CAN YOU!
<maxim|away> (=
<overandoutcaptn> yeah get some mother daughter porn action
going
<overandoutcaptn> that'll fetch big bucks
<Bang`Bang> hahaha, yeah, it does
<Bang`Bang> i mean.. it will...
<Bang`Bang> :

[Lord-Data] damn. wish gdivx had brought me girls instead of
fame and money

<kr0nus> with all this gay porn... I'm never gonna' get my
homework done

<[PLF]TehKirby> in canada; if you rape a dog
<[PLF]TehKirby> they give you money
<[PLF]Sohryu> shit
<[PLF]TehKirby> im serious.
<[PLF]Sohryu> jesus
<[PLF]Sohryu> id be rich

<Aster> welcome to the cyber police network, because of your
behavior and every one elses on this chat network, ffonline
irc will be shut down in 24 hours, by your friendly neighbour
hood hacker.
(s) Server Notice -- Received KILL message for Aster from
Spank Path: Spank (hack my balls)

<TwiZTid_CoZa> i told me mum to goto goatse
<TwiZTid_CoZa> she banned me off the net for a week

[17:23:28] [Synoptica] I AM GOING TO TAKE A SHIT NOW EVERYONE
[17:29:32] [Xta-C    ] COOL!
[17:30:13] [Synoptica] jesus christ i dont remember eating
chili

<`Kathy`> i want to go on rikki lake
<`Kathy`> but i need to become black first :(

<@Breathe> I hurt my back last week, and it is still hurting.
>:(
<SirPrux> Maybe you sprained a muscle
<SirPrux> I sprained a cucumber once
<@Breathe> ...
<SirPrux> man did it hurt
<@Breathe> you sprained a cucumber?
<huzyrdadi> I think he means he sprained his asshole /using/ a
cucumber

<StalkerofurSoul> you ever been looking at pr0n
<StalkerofurSoul> and seen somebody that looks like your
sister?
* StalkerofurSoul shivers
<Eldron> stalker, I just keep fapping, no matter what..

<ZiR0> id jack off
<Dead_One> i would to, but that would make 15 times today
<Dead_One> oh, wait
<Dead_One> 01:34:56
<Dead_One> no, its a new day

<destru> tv just told me i could get a correspondence degree
in gunsmithing
<destru> does that really seem like a good idea?

(timmo) id fucking stab someone if i was in a dorm room
(timmo) and woke up
(timmo) and they were fucking whacking
[Gimdb] i'd finish them off

<]SpIkE[> HELP ME!!! my 120 chipset monitor 17 inch with
Gforce 4 doesn't support the internet!

<Trak3r> hmm, qdb has new rules
<Trak3r> SUBMISSION RULES:
<Trak3r> 3) PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE QUOTE YOU ARE SUBMITTING,
IS IT FUNNY? PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT QUOTES WITHOUT ANY MEANING
OR HUMOR
<Trak3r> that third one pretty much eliminates their database
thus far

<Dead_Meat|Linux> is there an alternative to sun java jre now?
<ChrisDKK> sun tea?
<Dead_Meat|Linux> um...
<Dead_Meat|Linux> what's the difference?
<ChrisDKK> one is made with tea leaves the other is made with
coffee beans

<turkey> my friend saw r kelly's purple escalade with
lamberghini doors, and spinners
<HongKongPhooey> did he see the 3 11 year olds inside?

<McMoo> monday's going to suck.
<McMoo> we are going to get fucked in the ass at work
<maff> sounds like someone's got a case of the mondays.
<ChafedNut> McMoo's name is really Milton
* ChafedNut was kicked by McMoo (i don't even have a stapler
you fucking faget)