bash.org archive

<SUPAR> i wonder if unicorn farts smell like potpourri

<Kaitlin> Holy shit my chair just broke right out from under
me... I was just sitting here and next thing I know I'm on the
ground and the keyboard tray has fallen down on top of me
<Kaitlin> I'm not a fatass, I swear!!!! *inno*
<Shala> i was refraining from that comment, tubby

HiTtHiS2002 : i'd drive by with all the neons on... and guys
everywhere in a 1/4 mile radius would run to the nearest
bathroom to nut one
BeHeMoTh101 : who needs a bathroom
BeHeMoTh101 : that's why god invented pants

<pz> telnet lag reminds me of taking a shit

<Megaglogue> u guyz come anytime pay me a visit
<Megaglogue> paris is cool during the summer
<Megaglogue> no french peeps around

<rwxr-xr-x> i used to have a g/f who turned out to be world
writable
<rwxr-xr-x> ridable

<Everdraed> We can't grab women's boobs?  The terrorists have
won!
<Luna`> can't let the terrorists win.
<Everdraed> Exactly Luna
* Everdraed grabs Skyday's boobs
<Skyday> :OP!!!!!!

<bcanon> I just want to be able to cover myself in stickers to
the point where I am no longer recognizable and become
"Wireless Man" - Defender of Free Internet to the good people
of Houston.  Of course I'll need a sidekick. Anyone up for the
role of Antenna Boy?
<filtrs> not at the moment, but maybe after some porn ...

<BTZ|EatingShit> Don't take my name literally.

<Knamel> but its basically "I may not be the best looking guy
in the room, but i'm the only one talking to you" <Knamel> And
i follow that line up with "Comon baby, happiness is only a
light switch away"

<@Damone> i can now legally drive 10 tonne trucks
<@`2L> so u can drive your mum around?

--> Smoothice ([email protected]) has joined #
linux
<Smoothice> Is there any free versions of UNIX?

[coderage] assemblers think c is a pussy language because you
use more then half the keyboard

<morganti> the problem is if I have referrer logging turned
off, the images will not load because the site is trying to
stop queers from linking to their content, so if the referrer
is blank the image won't load....
<morganti> however I have a program that is supposed to set
the referrer to the sites domain that I am visiting, but it
doesn't seem to be working
<_8ight> humm.  well, u go to alot of trouble to surf for porn
then huh?

[Windshear]: I'd lose my dick if it wasn't strapped on

<screechon> call him up
<screechon> and tell him calmly to give you your money
<screechon> and if not
<screechon> take it to judge judy

<UrMomsUnt>   U cant ban me .. I'm telnet irc
<paisley> Alrighty.

<DeterminedLilBitch> Daishi dont talk
<Daishi> ?
<Daishi> i talk
<DeterminedLilBitch> not to me
<Daishi> i just wait till some one says my name and it flashes
green
<Daishi> then i talk
<Daishi> its like sitting at a red light all day

<xmt> I have a Iframe but when i write text in it, and push
ENTER to get a new line it makes like two lines why ?
<trimp> xmt: you're problems are severe
<trimp> I think we have a level 3 drilion
<xmt> trimp: ?
<trimp> well lets just say that people at level 2 are in a
druling in a wheelchair and their keyboard is their voice.
<drlion> rofl
<xmt> could u help me with the problem or ?
<trimp> damnit xmt, I'm not a doctor!
<xmt> ok, why didn´t u say that at once
*** xmt has quit IRC

< winter_the_mute> i am both of those things
< winter_the_mute> sadly i am also a programmer so
< winter_the_mute> fit and pretty only gets you so far when
you're autistic
<@    Riztazz> | there is a 3rd option to it
<@    Riztazz> | sadly only a handful of men can achieve that
<@    Riztazz> | and its not something you can do anything
about
<@    Riztazz> | well
<@    Riztazz> | nowdays u can
<@    Riztazz> | get a big dick
< winter_the_mute> im black so i got that too
< winter_the_mute> but last time i whipped my dick out to a
woman, she moved seats on the bus

<Alpino> why dont the little ray of sunshine come ova here
<PuffTheMagickBongPipe> ova.. something Alpino's sperm will
NEVER see

Matreya: I only had one of these coke glasses... *sniff*
Matreya: I have two other ones, but they're not as cool
gelfie has two coke glasses, though technically they're my
brothers
spoob: your brothers are coke glasses?

<Panty_HaX0r> I masturbate near constantly, and I have a
steady supply of sex
<Scofco> sex-drives that high should be bottled and sold on
store shelves

<blu|tired> you tried to compartmentalise and detach yourself
from your emotional response to the book and approach it
abstractly, trying to purify the visual essence of your own
thoughts and feelings.
<blu|tired> so you made a sqaure
<blu|tired> a purple square

Gildor gets back on his hands and knees and dives back under
the desk
moki: trying for another promotion, Gildor?

<mCh> cd rootmy_head
<mCh> ls -l
<garg^work> bash: directory is empty

<AdamH> There are 10 kinds of people when it comes to binary.
Those who understand it, and those who don't.
* AdamH rimshits
<AdamH> RIMSHOTS!
<DL> Heheheheh.
<DL> Sorry, Adam, two of those "heh"s were at the joke. The
rest were at rimshits. :-P

<neia_doll> Im 5 foot 11 and 116 lbs..i lost 3 on accident..
<k-rad-bob> accident?
<neia_doll> so Im pretty skinny
<k-rad-bob> you got an abortion?

<Ophidian> why does being a programmer mean 13 hours a day and
no social life? i dont understand

<Cyber_Akuma> They REALLY want to make dying in the game
realistic
<Cyber_Akuma> The pc insantly locked up when i died

<Necro^Partehh4t> if someone insults canada the best thing u
can say is
<Necro^Partehh4t> atleast im not french-canadian :.
<[HI]Widget> lol
<Bob_the_cannibal> what if you're french-canadian?
<Necro^Partehh4t> then you suck

<fiz> I'm touching my hard drive right now
<fiz> adjusting the pins
<Khazwerk> mmm
<fiz> spinning up my disk
<fiz> s
<Khazwerk> what jumper position is it set at?  tell me
*slowly*
<fiz> READING/WRITING
<fiz> READR
<fiz> READ
<fiz> READ
<fiz> WRITE
<fiz> whew
<FengWork> that was quick.
<fiz> yeah, my seek time rocks
<fiz> spins down

(Mr_Mofo) Corn Bread is teaching me flash, and he says:
(Mr_Mofo) <cornbread> Have you got any cloves of garlic lying
around in your house? If you don't, use an onion for this next
step.
(burkey) Whats wrong with that? Garlic is an essential part of
Flash.
(burkey) Onion gives inferior results.
(cornbread) See? burkey knows =/
(burkey) If you don't know that, I'm gueesin you must be a
n00b of some sorts. Your not a n00b, are you? o_O
&#8226; Suave sighs, and curses himself after wasting money on
those 3 bags of onions.
(Burning) i use tabasco sauce instead
(bigwurm) cornbread: you also need some diced roma tomatoes
and mushrooms. you must have mushrooms
(cornbread) Nah, just using the basic method for now.

<@plik> when life hands you lemons...
<redmatch> bring out the bacardi cola ?

<ktmguy> Ray from Pac Bell: "Yeah, I can't get this line up."
<ktmguy> Voice in Background at Pac Bell: "Ray, are you sure
we're supposed to
be hearing your personal problems?"

<Mr_Hanky> fubu = Farmers Used to Beat Us?

(Skyler) Alright
(Skyler) Everyone ready?
*** rarrzeroEXE ([email protected]) Quit
(cosmos.esper.net chocobo.esper.net)
*** IAN6990 ([email protected]) Quit
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*** Silence ([email protected]) Quit
(cosmos.esper.net chocobo.esper.net)
*** Valefor ([email protected]) Quit
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*** Flashfire ([email protected]) Quit
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*** aminal ([email protected]) Quit
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*** Lani ([email protected]) Quit
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(Comic-San) ....

<Jim> hello good sir
<Jim> may i present to you a work of art involving wang

<Sumez> how hard can it be to change two words in my legend?
<Fuujin> Extremely. You see, he can only do it during a
sunspot minimum or maximum, and those only happen once every
eight years. Also, it has to be a blue moon and a summer
equinox at the same time. Plus, the year must be a prime
number. The sum of the day of the week (Sunday = 1, Monday =
2, etc), the date, and the month must also be divisible by
three.

<Ranzer> Mish``: btw what kinda connection you on? i dont
wanna be laggin you too much ;]
<Torka> Mish`` is [email protected] * Mish
<Ranzer> and..?
<Ranzer> i dont even know what andover.net is
<paradon> Ranzer: andover.net is the "big evil corporate" that
owns slashdot, sourceforge, newsforge, freshmeat, etc, iirc.
<Ranzer> paradon: ah, so it has more bandwidth than god?
<tristan_> pretty much :>

<kuribo> Deathlove, awaken!
<Deathlove> shut up!
* kuribo cries
* kuribo checks for stats
<Deathlove> I can't wait until any of you ever get laid and
have something else to fixate on.
<kuribo> yeah
<kuribo> but until that day
<kuribo> when do we get stats?

(bern) i have a feeling gf's gonna call during the game
(bern) what do i do if that happens?
(bern) bit busy darling, killing a sentry gun!

<@phessler> expecting people to be competent went out of style
when the dot-com boom hit

<LeslieHapablap> do you snow ball?
<katester> mom to kid:  "i should have swallowed"
<tyler> my friend jordan got snowballed once
<tyler> we called him snowball for like a yera
<tyler> year
<tyler> by some other guy's junk too
<mkb> i am torn between curiosity and not wanting to know
<PaddyBoy> I'm not,
<PaddyBoy> I don't need to know. :)
<tylerox> that's what you get for kissing drunk sluts at
new-years parties
<tylerox> he got kissed
<tylerox> what is he complaining about
<sureshot> dammit, i didn't want to know,.
<katester> haha
<mkb> damn that was probably several other guys' junk then
<tylerox> it wasn't like a mouthful
<tylerox> it was just the aftertaste, really
<LeslieHapablap> still.
<tylerox> i mean she's not walking around with it in her cheek
or anything
<PaddyBoy> hahaha.
<PaddyBoy> Saving it for just the right schmuck.
<LeslieHapablap> chipmunk the junk.
<tylerox> like a plug of tobbaco
<sureshot> haha.  christ.
<eliti> hahahahahaha

<ground0-> as if your opinion matters, or means anything in
this world at all
<hypr> as if your elitest bs opinion matter, or means anything
in this world at all
<hypr> ;P
<ground0-> actually it does
<hypr> and how is that
<ground0-> highschool/college graduate/registered voter/
licensed driver

<Babydog> ew yeah butt hair is horrit
<Akira_S> yeah, so shaving down there's a must
<alisdair> that seems like a lot of work
<Eulogy_> like hell i am going to shave my ass
<Stifler> thats why they get their boyfriends to do it
<Eulogy_> if i can't see it, i ain't putting a razor near it

<Shadow> A super computer running on Windows XP? Thats like a
tight rope walker walking on barbed wire...

* Courthold eats PT
<Courthold> dammit pt having boners making it hard to chew
<PTDC> Hee hee. I hope that was a typo and not a freudian
slip.

*** pipes changed the topic of kiwicon to: - Kiwicon marketing
department back in action!
< rauc> good topic
< pipes> many people in here will know what that means ;)
< rauc> ok...I do not really know what it means, but I am glad
to see
Kiwicon run again. Let me know if I can help
< pipes> rauc: first time we did kiwicon
< pipes> no one wrote any stories
< pipes> so we wrote our own
< pipes> and kind of xss'd em into major news sites

<NiteHawk> i want hard drives so small i can snort them up
like powder and increase my brain capacity

<enntee> my parents told me one time we were in a fancy
restaurant, i was
a child, and i had gone to the bathroom to take a piss
<enntee> i ran out of the bathroom screaming "i made bubbles!
i made
bubbles!" because i had always wanted to make bubbles in the
toilet water,
but never had enough pee

<RedXIII> I'm thinking of becoming a health inspector :o
<RedXIII> "there's a 20 in this for you if you let that whole
cockroach thing slide"
<RedXIII> "vishbar, you drive a hard bargain"

<E|S-Darch> It's disturbing how many people in here know what
the word bukkake means...
<Hoffmann> whats a "bukkake"?
<E|S-Darch> its when like 15 guys decide to blow a load on a
girl's face
<Hoffmann> hrmm let me guess, u exprimented with it on your
little brother?
<E|S-Darch> wtf
<E|S-Darch> i fucking hate you
<Hoffmann> no dude see thats funnie
<Hoffmann> ur suppose to say lol..its not like its true
<Hoffmann> ...or is it?

<[DeViL]Hawk> dammit u sothern punk my mums rich i looked at
the price list
<FanBoy|Away> er? your mum is on a price list...figures

<plantboy> all the good presidents get shot
<NovaKANE> plantboy: or head

<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> we have two horses outside our halls
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> one of them is hung like a fucking
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> i dunno what man
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> but he has one ginormous fucking
penis!
<Fluff_Daddy|sortofaway> I got a picture of it too!!!

<nutrasweetie> lol my brother is such a little creep 
<nutrasweetie> hes on the phone w/his friend 
<nutrasweetie> and he goes to me "can i go online" 
<nutrasweetie> me: "no, you're on the phone" 
<nutrasweetie> "well, my friend wants to tell me something,
and i called him and the lines busy"
<nutrasweetie> me: "NO" 
<nutrasweetie> john goes back to the phone "damn, she wont let
me on to talk to you"

Xrevolution: :)
Xrevolution: thats the look on his face
leninadelawl: no its more like
leninadelawl: =)
leninadelawl: pwned
Xrevolution: your use of "pwned" is about as vague and
inaccurate as my mom calling anyone with hair other than a
buzzcut a "punk"
Xrevolution: in other words, stfu

Camman2003: like real life duck hunt
LpInKyD: yeah where you can shoot the annoying dog
Camman2003: yeah\
Camman2003: but dont you lose points for that?
LpInKyD: not in real life

<Sock_Monkee> yeah, i came out of the closet today....i went
in looking for my jacket but all that was there was a  bunch
of queers

<Arkangel> hey, bork
<[TMBJ]Bork_Tanbey> hi ark
<DCz_power> hey borg
<DCz_power> er
<DCz_power> Bork
<Arkangel> haha
<Arkangel> they should make Borg porno
<Arkangel> and the catch phrase is "RESISTANCE IS FERTILE"
<[TMBJ]Bork_Tanbey> YOU WILL BE INSEMINATED. RESISTANCE IS
FERTILE.

<tate> has anyone played this Amercan's Army game?
<Beerman> nope
<Goonigoogoo> I've read about it, but never downloaded it
<Beerman> I wonder if you can mod it
<Beerman> "talibans army"
<Beerman> that would be a fun game
<tate> yeah, and you can throw rocks, and mail Anthrax
<tate> and hide in caves

<Rory> I once saw on an import Gundam toy "Dont break steamy
translucent fabric or new one will come"
<Rory> wait that was a pack of Japanese condoms

<pantherqs> i wonder what masturbation in the dark under
strobe light with fluorescent paint on your penis and a black
light would look like...

<MenTaLguY> You know, the trouble with cocaine is that the
"...but I didn't inhale" excuse doesn't work

<aleisha_van> all of the puppets in the thunderbirds look
vaguely like ernest borgnine. even the women. it's unnerving.

<Lemming> one thing i dislike about broad band
<Lemming> porn popups load before you can close them, lol

<GKirk> MCO = Orlando
<Celestar> MCO == Orlando
* Celestar notices that he is a C programmer and GKirk is not
* GKirk slaps Celestar around a bit with a printf and scanf
statement
* GKirk compiles Celestar

<Duker900> I wonder if quasar dreams in C++
<Duker900> quasar would like try to have a wet dream
<Duker900> and he'd get compile errors
<Duker900> "ERROR: func_erection is undefined"