bash.org archive

<LarsC> i have women issues.
<LarsC> namely, I hate them.

<@rs> i just told someone to not hide the ichat-av vu meter
under another window as it would muffle his voice

<Murr> DrForr, presumably the tank crew *knew* how to swim,
but not how to escape from a tank with open hatch that had
turned on its roof before sinking.
<DrForr> The tank flipped over -then- sank? Now that's rich.
<arkuat> what is this about?  cisco is building tanks now?
<Winkola> arkuat: If they do, you can count on a lot of
drowned newbie net admins.
<Winkola> "To report a drowning emergency, press 1, and hold
for 27 minutes."

<Mrod> i earned 1 point of gay for reading a guy's blog btw
<BL> omg you have the high score!
<BL> please enter your initials

<zedebsky> Coughing sucks, but does get you higher :)
<tonic4> zedebsky, coughing opens up parts of your lungs that
usually don't get in air, in the case of smoking, smoke, so
thats how it gets you higher
<latez> lol
<latez> we've got a medic

<Evasion> they say astroglide doesn't get sticky for hours,
thats bs, it gets sticky in 5-10 minutes
<aNuBiS-> Evasion: you arent supposed to mix it with feces

<Duck[STFUF]> you know ath, why did you change your name to
avin...A, V, I and N are pretty much as farthest they can be
from one another:<
<Jumper|TMC> BECAUSE IT'S HIS NAME

*** Nezzie ([email protected]) has
joined #phphelp
<Nezzie> Wow they really need to put a warning label on that.
<Nezzie> apparantly /sbin/fastboot should be called /sbin/
fastREboot

<ryano> i ain't drank dick for shit in months
<reston> try a lemondrop bodyshot
<reston> get some fly bitch and rub sugar on her tummy... lick
it, take a shot of vodka
<reston> and then eat a lemon
<jonathans> is that some kind of homosexual alternative to
tequila shots
<reston> yea jon
<reston> but its good
<jonathans> sugar instead of salt
<jonathans> lemon instead of lime
<jonathans> a chick instead of your hand
<jonathans> its beginning to make sense to me.

<supers> one of the tv guide cross word makers died
<supers> i guess they barried him 6 down and 6 across

(dosdemon)  I'm downloading something called "vagina vacum
pump in action"
(CautionIAmBoozer)  interesting
(HSS-KUN)  Aww...they spoiled it by putting the plot in the
title. I hate that.

<@PhiL> jesus fucking christ, hitting tyrant with the knife is
like poking a small baby in the stomach
<@PhiL> the motherfucker giggles in your face, then claws it
off

<Scofco> old men are hard to seduce

<GnarlyBob> I mean how could *anyone* have been surprised when
Rob Halford came out of the closet?
<M0rph13> I was damnit :)
<GnarlyBob> He could be a stunt double for one of the Village
People

<Markie> i dont hate dido, i just don't think she's got a
particually great voice
<Woody> she sounds better than mendy in the shower and thats
good enough for me ;)
<Markie> how do u know what he sounds like in the shower ?!
<Mendez> I'm very quiet in the shower I'll have you know...
you have to be otherwise they hear you coming up behind them
as they bend down to get the soap...

<synjaWrk> did you know co.ck is a real top level domain
<synjaWrk> $300/year
<synjaWrk> daamn
<sno_uk> synja: haha : so you can you and buy abig.co.ck ?
<synjaWrk> sno_uk i dont need to buy one
<synjaWrk> :)

<_overkill> how do you eat high protein
<EnchWORK> bukkake

<SykoFreud> i need the medical term for the inside part of the
woman where the egg is
<holgie> BOX
<shuriken> omg
<holgie> PUSSY BOX CUNT
<holgie> haha
<holgie> the answer is: BUTTHOLE
<SykoFreud> you stupid fucks!
<holgie> sorry, I'm not familar with words like that in
english
<holgie> :)
<holgie> I know the most important words so it's all good
<SykoFreud> It's ok, man. I will use "pussy" then.

<Genocide7> Happy B-day Ass.
<FT|Vass>Thanks Geno! :)
<FT|Vass> Hey! Wait a sec...

<Tron> damn non-geeks taking over the digital domain!

<akrs> You know you have fallen far from the path of light
when you have to read the git man pages for push
<buffalo> fallen from grace, akrs
<akrs> I'm gonna do a git push -f +[sha]:master
<buffalo> that's a dark arts spell, that is
<buffalo> such commands do not come out of love, compassion,
and understanding
<buffalo> they come from malice
<buffalo> and the will to destroy
<buffalo> and chaos

<^Fizban^> I need an external modem. Anyone have one I can
download?

(@Miz): have we all gone outside to look at mars yet?
(@Chris_): cba
(@Chris_): its quicker to go to naza.gov and download a high
res image
(@Chris_): nasa.gov *
(@Miz): and print it out then stick it on the window
(@Chris_): exactly!

* Red gets on the phone, "$90 for a strap on and I get no
balls!  I ordered the model with balls, and I received the one
without balls!  I want a refund and balls~"
Simplicity> They're actually attachments...
Simplicity> Sold seperately...ya know...
Natasha> What MIME type?

<Zaphod`> Put on Pants: 1:00PM
<Zaphod`> Talk to strange people on Internet: 12:19 PM - 1:00
AM
<Zaphod`> Sleep: 1:00 AM - 1:00 PM
<Zaphod`> Repeat.
<Zaphod`> Lazy Geek Factor: 110% Above Normal... Diagnosis =
Summer

<Jeeeeebus> plus i got jedis to give me hound jobs..
<LDM> hound jobs = beastality?
<Jeeeeebus> HAND!! HAND!!

<Naivete> damnit whenever I see the word 'mount' in linux
documentation I think UNF
<Vertinox> "...Take hard drive, lube it with proper amounts of
kY..."

<sponge> windows needs a big red button that deletes windows
when you click it.. itll be temping to the morons
<sponge> and thus the internet will be left with all the smart
people
<sponge> and the newbie mac users

<Crimson_Dynamo> Stupid kazaa, it has a banner for penis
enlargement pills "Doctor approved pill will enlarge your
manhood in just 3 weeks!"
<|[T]|HiddenPower> that can't be legal, what if kiddies are
using the computer?
<Crimson_Dynamo> then we will have 7-year-olds with huge
penises

<[empathy-playing]> irc didnt look feasible to cave men.. we
fuckin showed them didnt we?

<Guilty> Ya know that fat guy they always show in Palm Beach
<Guilty> Hes the reason they couldnt get it done

<@Psych0> I wake up to find that someone created a folder in
my shared
Folder
<@Psych0> Called Psycho is gay
<@Psych0> Furthermore i find two instances of nimda in it
<@Psych0> anyone find that weird?
<@Forty> Sounds normal
<@Forty> Did you update Windows lately?  It's in service pack
2
<@Psych0> I have win 98
<@Psych0> :
<@Forty> Yeah that sounds right

<Baker> Can't sleep properly now... was bad rolling over and
the missus wasn't there :(
<Vindictive> I wouldn't be able to sleep if someone WAS there
to roll on :P
<Baker> Na - its an amazing feeling - rolling over half asleep
and getting a cuddle...
<Vindictive> lol, don't know it :P
<Vindictive> Does a cat count?

<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole
new respect for women

<Jemm> this is where he gets his inspiration from
<ZondrZout> I almost spend more time IRC'ing than I spend
painting and creating art!
<Morfi_> uhm inspiration from irc ? what do you mean ?
<Jemm> well, talking with bunch of lunatics give funny ideas
;)
<ZondrZout> Not to mention a good QDB!
<Morfi_> QDB what it is ?
<ZondrZout> Quasi Donderende Boombladeren
<ZondrZout> It's Dutch for something like 'positive energie'
<Jemm> QDB is all around us. It binds the Universe together
<Jemm> Use the QDB, ZondrZout!

<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no
one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and
an afghan woman dies of heatstroke

<@Twitch`> i almost got into a fight at futureshop last night
<@Twitch`> these two guys were talking about NWN, and i said
before they played that they should go on 'thine quest to wash
thy hair'
<@Twitch`> they had long stringy gross oily hair, it almost
made me sick to my stomach
<@Twitch`> they said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then i said 'fuck you'
<@Twitch`> then this store guy asked me to go look at stuff
somewhere else
<@Path`> haha

<Powerlord> You mean... you can save your game in ff7pc? And
all this time I've been leaving my computer on all night!

<@Shadoe> I don't want to have sex with you
<@Shadoe> EVAR
<Vladimere> yeah yeah
<Vladimere> i've heard it before
<Vladimere> that's what they all say, and then they end up
staring at the headboard
<@Shadoe> yeah, going "jesus christ when will it end"

* Suzzie just learned the term "donkey punch"
<Suzzie> the question is, why is it listed in the "sports"
category

Finque: at least that young black fellow will live
Finque: black people can't die virgins
Finque: it's physically and sexually impossible
Finque: god is still apologizing for burning them
Finque: so he gave them horse cocks
Finque: and now they always get laid
tom: except DE
Finque: true
Finque: but DE is canadian
Finque: that's god's "oops" pile

<Grim> <chikster> fuck a pole
<Grim> *** [#geekissues] No users matching *.pl found on
channel.

*** julia_roberts was kicked by neotek (banned: spamming)
<@neotek> who would have thought that a successful actress
like julia roberts would stoop to spamming her "phat pic site"

<Tarkaan> Gerbil, I've spent the past three months and about
$10,000 preparing for this fucking war
<Tarkaan> although the majority of that was buying property in
Canada
<Tarkaan> But I also got a camp stove

<ICIST> I get that warm and fuzzy feeling
<@Deth> like when you pee your pants?
<ICIST> kinda
<ICIST> more like when i shit myself

[01:58] *** Loops|ao changes topic to '<Neep> what are you
gonna do Bobo? || <Bobo> live in my parents' basement till i'm
47 and i die of autoerotic asphyxiation alone and a virgin'

<Vespertine>  I dare you to take out your cock... lay it on
the keyboard.. starting at "A" and tell us what letter it ends
at....
<Kairu_Hakubi> umm ok
<Kairu_Hakubi> i prolly cant get a good erection right now
<Kairu_Hakubi> so youll get a soft reading
<Vespertine> ok./
<Kairu_Hakubi> just barely goes to h
<Vespertine> oh
<Vespertine> ....

<skiniminigirl> I wonder if a tall girl will shirnk if you
throw her into the dryer
<Mike_Works> I wonder if a short girl will drown if you throw
her in the washer

<Ryk> one of my favourite passtimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.

<Meshugga> sleep is supposed to be done between 6 am and 2 pm
<octane> whats this sleep thingie anyways?
<octane> is it something real or yet another urban legend?
<Meshugga> sleep, neut., The thing which makes all your boxen
idle
<octane> thats called `power outage' here.

<chaossyn> i have a q  has any one here played with 5.0 dp yet
<chaossyn> and how stable is it (no believe me i have 0
intentions of running it on a production network i was just
wondering how many bugs to expect ...
<|line> Incredible numbers.  It'll jump out of the box and gut
you before you even have it all the way home yet.
<-- evb has quit (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
<tog> it will anally rape your grandmother while pouring sugar
in your gas tank
<|line> It'll stop with your grandmother, if you're lucky.
<|line> I've seen it get as far as the family dog before the
national guard arrived

<Alice> damn the man, save the empire!
<Misseh> damn the empire , SAVE THE MAN !! ;-)
<Eriond^AFK> damn the empire, sod the man, screw the woman

<Spyder-> AOL also sucks
*** Carnevil_ has quit IRC (Ping timeout for Carnevil_
[ACA7C955.ipt.aol.com])

<Bung-Eye> Its a sweet pickup line, and I even used it!
<Bung-Eye> i was pissed as a cunt
<Bung-Eye> it didn't work though
<Bung-Eye> cos i ended up sayin it to a guy :/

* kurt[A] is now known as kurt
* kurt was away, and is back from: life
<Vex> Who are you kidding kurt?

<DogWelder> Hrmmm... Norton says that I've contracted a virus,
and should disable needle sharing. Is this bad?

<@Bonfire> I think I shat my pants earlier this morning but
have been too scared to check

<ScumDog> I'm gonna descend into the popup hell of
astalavista.com
<ScumDog> wish me luck
<R0SC0E> <scum's mom> what's this bang bus all about

<posk> does every cpu have a thing inside where u tamper with
it and it disables entering a password to login to the
computer?

<hewbert> goths have been progressivly wearing less clothing
as the years have gone by
<hewbert> how shamless!
<hewbert> they should be progressivly wearing more and MORE
clothing
<hewbert> until they are bundled up with 200 pound parkas
<Unfy> they would have names like goth_eskimo_69
<hewbert> you could save on facepaint by using snow

<Ned> I should open up a resturant with the claim that it's
jewish and kosher and all that
<Ned> and put ham in everything
<Ned> that'd be awesome
<Ned> kind of like rape, but not really

<Bloodnose> THESE ANIMAL DILDOS ARE RIDICULOUS.  MY CAT NEVER
PLAYS WITH THE TOYS I BOUGHT FOR HIM ALREADY, LIKE HE'D USE
THESE.

<Rustblade> I gotta add some new cooling if I'm going to
accomodate this new scsi 3 drive
<Rustblade> oh shit
<Rustblade> you know what I realized
<Rustblade> I need a fucking scsi 3 controler
<Rustblade> I didn't think of that

<Gabealicious> Will you please yank all these goddamned hairs
from my nose???
<JungleMason> You need to go to Sharper Image or something and
get a fancy nose-hair cutting gizmo.
<Gabealicious> I think so.
<JungleMason> Make sure you read the warning label though:
"Not safe for most rectums."
<Gabealicious> It's a bit late for that.

<vampyr> i didn't lose it in the sense of i can't find it
<vampyr> i lost it networkically

<Joe_> I know a girl who's being cheated on, yet she is
oblivious to it.
<Joe_> It's funny, until I realize I'm dating her.

<Rambozo> wow
<Rambozo> the lights went out
<Rambozo> it's blacker in here than monday nights on UPN

<Rogue> lol @ my dads message just sent to me
<Rogue> "Press down if you think your gay"
<Rogue> i pressed down
<Rogue> "You fucking faggot"
<Rogue> he is an asshole
* Rogue slaps his dad

* CanNinja masturbates.
<OB1> .......
* OB1 turns around
<CanNinja> It's not like I'm spraying you in the face or
anything.