bash.org archive

<cactoid> you're all gay
<cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows
it's a marriage of convenience

<Skippy> Why can't women come with a help menu?
<Pi> hah
<Pi> or a manpage
<Pi> or the source code

<Chaz> What kind of backwards society do you live in?
<Renzian> It's called Canada.

<@Phillip> so
<@Phillip> ive come up with a rough formula to calculate the
chance that a chick at a bar will want to screw me
<@Phillip> C=[(p/t)/100]+100(D)
<@Phillip> C is the percentage chance that she will want to
<@Phillip> p is pi
<@Phillip> t is the amount of time in seconds that i talk
<@Phillip> and D is how drunk she is

<Heinz89> just got my butt wiped FINALLY
<Heinz89> hmmm
<Heinz89> that didn't come out right :P

(@existx) I CANNOT LISTEN TO TRANCE AND MAINTAIN A HARDON!

<Guilty> Now I see that your Utopia is more of a Fruitopia

<Jeeeeebus> eg: I was in a doorway with my arm across it
resting .. and he walks thru and goes "minimize, please"
without even thinking bout it..
<RnRcneHHlt> hahahahahahahahahahaha
<Jeeeeebus> I wish I could do that..

<Pr3ttyF1y> if i'm going to copy dvd's onto cdrs, i atleast
want to make sure they send me pills that make my wang and
boobs bigger too along with my liquid viagra for 72hr straight
erections
<Pr3ttyF1y> i mean, if the scam can't even promise that, why
buy into it :)

<jjz_> One point I had a MS Agent reading IRC windows while
I'd play halflife

<wild-> i like to play this game where i see how far i can
stick my arm up someone's ass before their heart stops beating

<Altar57> he banged himself a youngin
<Altar57> err
<Altar57> not banged
<Altar57> bagged
<sloane1420> hhaha lmao
<Altar57> hmm, i guess that isnt much better :p

tempest666_10913 *DING DONG*
<§kÌÑõfë/¡£420_46157> You're not a Jehovah's Witness, are you?

< aurikan> they never actually get together you realize
< aurikan> after link saves zelda she becomes an uberbitch and
they part ways, zelda fooling around with pages, link
frequenting the local brothel

<@thunderbear> I think if Bush really wanted Hussein out of
the picture, he should send his daughters over there first.
<@thunderbear> With luck, Hussein would die of three different
venereal diseases at once.

<Guilty> If I ever smoked crack I'd be sure to put aside a few
dollars per robbery for hygenic purposes
<Guilty> Like for every DVD player I jacked, buy a bottle of
shampoo
<Guilty> Maybe some q-tips

<Infomastr> i have the recrod for being the only person to
make an ISO of ms calculator

<charka> that lady you yelled at
<charka> who started crying
<jesus> My retarded neighbor, what aboot her?
<charka> you should scare her with some fireworks :)
<jesus> That is only funny the first few times

<aichpvee> kiger: what was best back in the day in uo was
roleplaying a prostitute
<Kiger> lol
<Kiger> you did that aich?
<aichpvee> yeah, i ran the "Streakers' Guild of Britannia"
<aichpvee> ran around nekkid and used bow command to give head
for money

<smee> "Omochannel.com also sells a vibrator equipped with a
video camera at its tip. The product can be attached to a TV
or video and provides a more in-depth view of the area where
it's used. "
<smee> LOOK MUM I'M ON TV!!!!

<PrincessLeia2> caffine is much less deadly tho'
<MykBev> not if you smoke it!

* Re-monkey ([email protected])
has joined #geekissues
<Re-monkey> Wow
<Re-monkey> It's all the people I've been laughing at.
<Re-monkey> I love reading QDB.
<Re-monkey> This is almost like seeing all the great celebs in
one place.
<Re-monkey> But, not quite.

<MafiaLeader> The MORE computers does not mean teh big wang
<pk|notbusy> oh but it does, u knoew. Women go wild for a man
with more than 5 obsolete Aplles
<pk|notbusy> they think, like "Cool, he must be a AUTHOR or
publisher, maybve he'll make me a webasite for all my dog
paintings...."

<UberCore> who here wants to participate in a stastical
analysis
<UberCore> involving sex, and star wars/star trek

<Boricua> any one know if there is a psx emulator that
emulates burned cd's?

<Eye_Candy> you're lucky I retain video game knowledge like
Oprah retains water

<Krell> man, im so fuckin thick today
<PinkShirt> your density increased?

(sorry about the timestamps... they're required for
appreciation of the quote.)
[22:07] * JeremiahSmith falls down and dies.
[22:12] <Howard> Let's not all rush him to the cryokit at
once...

*** Thraken has quit IRC (Quit: When you put 'THE' and 'IRS'
together, it forms 'THEIRS'.)

<PovRayMan> wtf
<PovRayMan> is the internet down?

<Chocobo> blt: I'll hire you as a debt collector, your first
job is to reach into your pocket and gimme money

* sellout is always on the fence -- stay in Canada, go back to
the US. I think it's just inertia that's keeping me here right
now. Well, that and weed. Which has a high coefficient of
friction.

<Zombie> will you beat up Red Sky for me?
<Ryco> no =P
<Zombie> He almost cost me my JOB
<kesu-cho> what did RS do
<kesu-cho> that almost cost you your job?
<Zombie> He told my Boss I wanted to have sex with him

<MKendora> Unfortunately, Win2k still needs electricity to run
>_<
<JB> Heh.
<JB> Maybe for 2k5.
<Fancia> They fix that in Windows SG (Supar Gud), which runs
on the power of pure dreams.
<Tagrineth> Hehehe ^_^
<JB> Well, we're all screwed.
<Tagrineth> But that probably still won't run on most people's
comps
<JB> Anyone here besides Fancia have a pure dream in teh last
year?
<Fancia> ;b
<Tagrineth> NOT ME
<MKendora> I have impure dreams.
<MKendora> I have purely violent dreams.
<Fancia> Well, they're thinking of expanding Windows PG
(Perfikt Gud) to run on any dreams. ;o
<JB> That may help.
<JB> Methinks some of the dreams here may corrupt it, though.
<Fancia> True. ^.^;
<Tagrineth> LOL
<Fancia> "Windows received an Illegal Dream error! Please
reboot!"
<Tagrineth> Hehehe
<Tagrineth> "*PLEASE* reboot... (sicko)"
<JB> Windows has committed suicide to remove the image form
it's memory. Please order a new copy.

<sparks333> no see, women in engineering are like parking
spaces
<sparks333> the good ones are taken and the rest are
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there
<pikachu> or handicapped

<BombScare> i need to get my eyes lasered
<eldee> ditto.. 2k per eye though
<eldee> i'm saving my money for something i wont take for
granted though :)
<enos> i don't trust that eye laser surgery yet
<enos> it'd be sweet tho to not need glasses or contacts
<BombScare> i have an aunt that had it done, she loves it
<BombScare> like 20 seconds and you can see
<eldee> BombScare: damn.. i dont even think jesus was that
fast
<eldee> god bless america!
<eldee> or something
<BombScare> hah

<|-7|Hornswoggler> its pure, unadulterated tetris

<rancid> if i made my drive NTFS and it is going slow, does my
computer just need to get use to it?

<Latino_Reheat> where would us anime fans be without
masturbation? probably married by now.......

<TMT> I have my gf keep me warm in the winter. ^_^
<Y|yukichigai> Sigh.... all I have are cats
<prophecy> all I have is a tiger blanket -.-
<TMT> crazy cat person! Run!
<TMT> jk
<prophecy> =p
<prophecy> truth be told, I am a furry. *hides, expecting to
be lynched*
<Y|yukichigai> I'm a furry too.  It's just that most people
don't find it attractive when you keep getting your velcro
watchband caught on your ass

<Alexander> see, shift, when you said you got a laptop, I
automatically assumed 'dance'

<gav_> Myst : your gonna do something other than irc??
<mystican> yea exactly
<gav_> cool
<gav_> what channel?

<[Latex]> 12 steps for becoming a professional wanker
<TigerSun> [Latex]: 1) Download mIRC

<polarity> your dreidel brings all the goys to the yard.

<Shaun> Dammit help me with my maths homework!  Can x²+x be
simplified any further?
<Mike> Nope
<Shaun> Yeah well your mammas fat ugly and looks like a man!
<Mike> That can be simplified however
<Mike> Just say your mamma is a double for Pavaorati

<Plaid> We got the "Share Minutes" plan. Call it family
bondage.

<AlmtyBob> if you count her cunt as kissing then it's been
about a year since I kissed a chick

<@meiso> he was trying to secure his server and made the root
filesystem un-writeable

freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.

<+Psyko> I'm gonna go hump the couch
<+Psyko> ~*boredom*~
<+Yamatto> dude, your couch puts out?
<+Psyko> wall too
<+Yamatto> damn
<+Yamatto> i want your house
<+Yamatto> unless you're like swapping wall for "mom"
<+Andaru> hahaha
<+Andaru> and couch for "little brother"

<steve|zzz> i had this dream
<steve|zzz> i was beating off
<steve|zzz> and my penis was circumsised
<steve|zzz> and it was so big i could use 2 hands
<steve|zzz> best dream i ever had

<Tinted_Green> "oh lord who is idling in #heaven, 1337 be your
skillz"

<Amish|wuurk> there is no death for me
<Amish|wuurk> just a ping timeout

<Catatonia> I wonder.. how much the american soldiers who
found Saddam will get paid :)
<Andrea> catatonia, the guy who gave him up gets $25 million!
<Catatonia> phwoar!
<nibbler> its iraqi powerball

<Evil_Rob> JLsoft:  Not like I'm going to wander the streets,
jerking off homeless people.

<felix:#916> i borked ditto
<felix:#916> it might just need a power cycle.
<p1nky:#916> I thought you had a masterswitch?
<felix:#916> yeah.  ditto's not on the masterswitch, because
it's a rock-solid machine.
<slap:#916> irony

<extremist> strep?
<extremist> that thing where girls take their clothes off?

<Rose> can someone explain to me why are the celeron 1ghz so
much cheaper than the P42.2ghz?
<Rose> are they that much different?
<Rose> speed wise?

<NiN> fuck
<NiN> you fag
<NiN> i should sodomize you
<Lily> Nah.
<NiN> lol dude i got some girl mad
<NiN> she told me who her bf was..she asked you know him? i
said yeah i dated him...rofl
<Lily> LOL

<naner> at my school, some fat chick wore a thong and baggy
pants.. :( she started walking towards me and he pants fell
like below her crotch, I could see her hairy bush, it made me
cry
<sQu33ze> did she think you were a porkchop

<+l4mby> HOLY COW !
<+l4mby> there's a cockatoo on here selling for 12,000$
<@Phoenix> Must be good in bed or something

sugarat: how to tell if you're a nerd - subtract the number of
boyfriends/girlfriends from the number of computers you've
owned.  if you're left with a positive number, you're a nerd.
LordWork: lol
ltcolumbo: I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek
SPLURGE: whew
SPLURGE: im not a nerd
SPLURGE: you know
SPLURGE: i really am a nerd
SPLURGE: that test sucks
SPLURGE: i wonder if hookers count
ltcolumbo: can i just call you a "john"?
SPLURGE: i suppose you could
SPLURGE: but the girls i have sex with are too ugly to be paid
for it

<fintler> I'm 14176 lines of java closer to getting about
$2000
<DocGonzo> maybe you can overcome the stigma that most java
apps are gay
<fintler> once you ignore the stigma....it's kinda addictive
<DocGonzo> you mean like bumlove?

<Khey> There was this soap opera on the TV in the customer
lounge at work and there were these black people on it
<Khey> And I thought to myself
<Khey> "Man, why don't they get 'real' black people in soap
operas?"
<duffey> Haha
<Khey> I'm not talking about some upper-middle class
light-skinned 'nigga' either.
<Khey> Some dark-skinned, thugg'd out, bling-blingin', grill'd
up guy.
<Khey> With cornrows and a stocking cap
<Khey> I'd watch soap opera's then.
<Khey> "Oh no, Johnny's mom was kidnapped"
<Khey> "AW SHIT NIGGA I'S FUNNA CAP ME SOME CRACKAS"
<Khey> or something
<Khey> Anyways, enough of Stereotype Theatre with Mr.K

<Zeeker> God, I wish I can make this text larger
<Feren> I can smell new spam thanks to Zeek.  "Increase your
font size three inches with this miracle pill!"

<Breach> I just got another "make your penis larger for
$20.00" email. I already spent $140 and now when I get excited
I fall over forward.. the only good thing is the kickstand
effect.

(Sober|smk) 905-847-6000fuck
(Sober|smk) er
(Sober|smk) mental note
(Sober|smk) never use irc as notepad
(Sober|smk) u will forget and hit enter :)

<Kaff> Pumpkin: The art of eating a girl out while she's on
the shitter.
<Kaff> how is that a pumpkin
<mmm> gross
<Kaff> how is that normal.
<Kaff> who does that
<Kaff> I WANT NAMES
<Kaff> (and numbers)

<MK_Ultra> trade my sister for fast appz/OS site