bash.org archive

<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail.

Technogen: weird, my VCR just lost power for no reason...
Technogen: damn ghosts keep turning things off in my house.
Technogen: last thing they turned off was my sex life...

<pottard> yea i walk in
<pottard> and they hand me a little sign that has a "+b" on it
<pottard> and i have to wear it walking out

<KnacK|WorK> oximoron of the day "Microsoft To Teach
Undergrads About Secure Computing"

<MattC> i gotta input like a foot high pack of paper into a
computer
<xerent> omg... fold it carefully and use the floppy drive?

<Caspian777> Once I get my picture on the net, you'll see. :P
<Suvorov> ooh can i have your picture?
<Suvorov> no baby ones though - i can't masturbate to those

<lice> i swear
<lice> i hate ppl that promise work done without asking me
first
<Killeroy> that's called "managing"

<mranostay> I have this dream of hiring a hooker, and when she
asks what I want done, one word "Cronjob".

<[{ug}]> hmm i really should spring clean this pooter. /usr/
src is taking up 2.1Gb
<Lithium^> what have you got in there? the sources to your
porn collection?

<Tramtrist> anyone seen vaun?(fucko?)
<Tramtrist> someone post on vn and tell him to get in here pzl
(plz)
<Mardom> i saw him giving sexual favors to men
<Tramtrist> k
<Tramtrist> anyone not a complete tard see him?
<Mardom> haha
<Mardom> good luck finding one of those in here
<Tramtrist> yeah ;/

<edgeh> think i crapped myself
<edgeh> no wait, i went for a crap
<edgeh> damn my memory sucks

* Avie|work tabs back in *
<Avie|work> what are you _talking_ about?
<ithil> I started with 22 as the lowest possible base, got
210, added 9, noticed 219 was a factor of 3 (216 + 3), and
realized it was going to stay that way. :P
<Xrtsys> Wait.  The three rule breaks down in non-/10 bases.
<DND> virgin girls are cool
* PxM watches Avie tab back out
<Avie|work> some people are talking about virgins, some people
are talking about math, someone said something about God, and
_I_ thought you were still talking about typology.

<punchcard> a little application logic goes a long way
<DomMac> indeed I can see the possibilities for problems with
that being pretty great unless the programmer took his time in
designing the app. Since it is MS, one never really knows do
they?
<punchcard> hang on, I gotta take a nap after reading that
long-ass sentence

* @[b]elitE is away, bored [Pants:OFF] [Hands:ON]

Solo Herron: why did it have to be hot outside today?
Solo Herron: I mean I was like "hmm mind numbing boredness
here in the cold library" walk out side "OH GOD THE EXCITMENT
OF THE HEAT"

<xEh> I could use some help on my image post site
<JaseGuru> If you pay me I will
<xEh> i'm doing it for free so why can't you, some arrogant
fellows here
<|Primus> lol. xEH your the one that wants a stranger to do
stuff for you, for free

<bytraper> being spoiled like I am you get sick of it and you
get urges to go to the fridge to get your own beer... but then
you sit a while longer  and the urge goes away so you call her
to bring you beer

<bytraper> im like midas... everything I touch turns to shit

<punkgurl> i made out with an 18 year old when i was 13
<Samhain> that guys must have been desperate

<b1u3^t3rr0r> bash.org; yet more proof there are people more
fucked up than me.

<GC> i bought new disposable razors
<GC> they have two blades each
<GC> i am astounded
<xen`> my mach 3 has 3 blades
<GC> and it costs more
<xen`> meh, it works good
<xen`> i can shave my asshair and my face and not have to go
through 5 razors

<Hickboy> i gotta piddle
<Hickboy> doh did i say that out loud
<wolvie> yes, now run to the little boy's room before anybody
notices

Kira: GO OUTSIDE AND SEE METEORS NOW.
c8ie: OK
c8ie: i dunno where that fucking meteor shower is, but it's
certainly not in the sky

<Njits> phuk, I just realized I slept thru a dentists
appointment :(
<automat0n> were you in the dentist's chair?

<tatsumi_oreo> I've got an assload of work to do. (Where
assload is equal to the distance from the east wall of my anal
canal to the west wall of my anal canal, and my penis always
points north; anyhow, judging by the size of vecna's manhood,
I have a lot of work to do.)

<Pod-Matey> Dod is great
<Hydrac7> I've always disliked the hand models on DoD
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, not everyone has soft and supple hands
<Hydrac7> Pod-Matey: I get it from frequent masturbation with
hand lotion.
<Pod-Matey> Hydrac, I was going to mention something of the
like, but I see you've already explained more than I ever
could

<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played
really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident
even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual

<ethanv> QUESTION #184: What is the largest lake in the world?
(trendwhore) Caspain Sea
<+BootsSiR> trendwhore's mom's bathtub

<hep> you told me!
<hep> all the e is going to your brain :>
<Acheron> isn't that what e is supposed to do?
<Encapsulate> No
<Encapsulate> It goes to your Pee pee
<Acheron> unless you keep your "frontal lobe" in your "pants",
that is
<Encapsulate> and activates the secret Pee Pee Power
<Encapsulate> Or PPP
<Encapsulate> "PPP LINK UP!"
<Acheron> what? You become impotent, but you're able to use
your wang
modem to dial up to the internet?

<Lugie> how do i look at a downloaded file
<Paw> open your eyes
<Lugie> where can i find it now thats its downlosaded
<Paw> hit alt + F4 to open your last downloaded program
Quits [Lugie]: ([email protected]) (Quit:)

<SuperGayAllah> ok, who is the hairiest girl in here?
<Phuser> you are dude

<Roundhouse> Where can I get Java Virtual Machine?  Microsoft
is being bitches and I can no longer download it from their
upgrade. Is there any place where I can get this at?
<Maniacal> sun just might have a website

<BIGmog> that's why I work graveyards.
<Dailin> graveyard shifts right? not in literally grave yards
<BIGmog> yeah REAL graveyards!  I got a computer right next to
my gravedigging shovel!

<deepspring> well.. my car just passed it's blueslip
inspection and I mean just...
<deepspring> the mechanic said that he found plenty of "minor"
issues that I would have to fix... luckily he let them slide
<deepspring> minor oil leak from the automatic transmission
<deepspring> bad hatch alignment
<deepspring> one of my driving lights (little halogen addon
ones) was buggered
<LrdShaper> bad driver behind wheel
<deepspring> my ignition key can drop out of the ignition
while the engine is running
<LrdShaper> right front wheel held on by masking tape
<LrdShaper> but the cathodes and led fans are what made
himover look the problems

<  ILjWerk> I'm on terror alert level fuscia

<Randt> if you go to jail, your best friend is the laxative...
then when you're shitting all over the joint, noone is going
to ass rape you

<K][cK> just had some cold jack and cock :)

<Para> OH BOY!
<Para> i just won a free disney world vacation
<Para> all I need to do is pay $99 per person, and buy the
plane tickets
<Para> wow, what a deal
<Para> damn telemarketers

<[S]evered> man, diego, how fast would a 2 60 gb hds ata raid
setup be?
<stoldark> rpm?
<[S]evered> 7200
<stoldark> what kind of raid setup?
<[S]evered> yes
<stoldark> mirroring or striping?
<[S]evered> connected

<jamesm> geez, it's only 10:20am and i'm already completely
e-bullshitted out

<|Robot|Pimpbot> I SWEAR TO GOD I WISH I COULD JUST REACH
THROUGH THE INTERNET AND KILL PPL SOMETIMES
<|Robot|Pimpbot> does anyone know if that will be part of
Internet v2?
<{RA}SKY-UED3> yeah
<{RA}SKY-UED3> but youll have to pay a tax on it
<{RA}SKY-UED3> and stand in a line
<|Robot|Pimpbot> im willing

<Threeboy> if you run linux you pretty much scream "IM A
VIRGIN" btw.

(drauku) use Slut::Redhead; require rope;
(drauku) if (@ARGV > 1) { require gag;}

*** Wildstar has joined #StarAlliance
<SA-NiteFox> And I say, "That's not my sister, that's my
chicken!"
<SA-NiteFox> ^.^
*** Wildstar has quit IRC (Quit: )
<SA-NiteFox> lol, I scared him

ð Zibblsnrt waaahs. Freezing rain warnings still
<rob`> that's gotta suck :P
<Prophet4> it looks kinda cool though, with a layer of ice all
over everything
<Zibblsnrt> it sucks more after two days, when trees start
collapsing
<rob`> hey, the daffodils are sprouting.
<Zibblsnrt> don't make me mail you a bomb in a container of
Agent Orange

<Dayv> I mean, if we decide that the next one sucks too, do we
just keep bombing 'til the Iraqi supreme court elects Jeb
Bush?

shocka: God should have put women's eyeballs in their boobs

<Helios> Guess what I've got in my hand RIGHT NOW
<niff|n> "his penis"
* anavrinny blinks
<anavrinny> tetris? :P
<Helios> and my penis
<Helios> I am rubbing it against the tetris
<niff|n> lucky you rin!
<curious> He won't say whether he's a four-square long man or
a _|_ shaped one.
<Helios> ____|

<weasel> she likes it when you touch her feet
<Zoidy> Im not touching no ones feet
<Zoidy> only my own
* jessica is now known as my_own
<my_own> touch me baby
<my_own> oooh yeah....

<+Jasper> SourceX, its because of people like you that they
put up signs that say "Please don't touch the animals" in zoos
<+Jasper> -P
<@SourceX> i wouildnt do it with other ppl around anyways
<@SourceX> the signs are pointless

(Ryco) Sex is bad mmmkay?
(Cody) oh yes ryco.. send that msg while i'm AWAY!.. sheesh..
ya know.. my mother gave me the wierdest look a minute ago!

<jonathans> the vas deferens is the path from the nuts to the
weiner where your breakfast travels

<Drown> think about linux and you won't prematurely ejaculate

[maff] hyper is the little snack cake that could

<Nazke|du> Your ass is russian, in other words its cold and
only inviting to women with beards.

<R4V3N0U5 1> i bet in like 1000 yrs everyone is gonna have a
comp in their room
<R4V3N0U5 1> the great great great grand children of irc
<R4V3N0U5 1> who dont even need to eat or shit, just be on the
comp all day
<R4V3N0U5 1> and because everyone would be on their comp all
day
<R4V3N0U5 1> no tech support or admin, everyone fend for
themselves
<R4V3N0U5 1> thats where theyd form clans...people would hack
other peoples networks...hacker pvp, where you loose, you're
life is gone
<daenonok> stop it! AHHHHH!!! STOP IT!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*daenonok stabs his own eyes out with a nearby ballpoint to
avoid going mad

<@netzdamon> ok had her over here last nite
<@netzdamon> right after dinner and my ass hole has been
bugging me
<@netzdamon> and we were going at it a little while later
<@netzdamon> dumb beach went down and fucking licked a big
glob of preperation h
<@netzdamon> i started laughing so hard i almost pissed myself
<@netzdamon> Preperation H Hemorrhoidal Ointment:
<@netzdamon> Goverment Warning: Do not let gf or wife eat your
ass with this ointment packed in it. May cause pucking/
divorce.

<Ober> hahaha
<infi> ?
<Ober> MSNBC "No Iraqi Dikes have been blown"
<VistA> lol
<infi> heh
<Ober> the guy said "ahh"
<dragonbyt> dont dykes lack the equipment to get blown?
<Ober> after the word blown
<Ober> like he did a double take

<jenwolf> i remember when it was a big deal when we got our
first color TV
<jenwolf> my dad was like, now you can see that the pink
panther is pink!!

<Intranete> but i never got into just sitting around and
programming, i was more into sitting around and playing with
my hardware

<Pob> GUYS, EVERYWHERE! I just discovered the best chat up
line EVER!:
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

<wanman2> c++ is so much more intuitive than any language i've
learned
<wanman2> that's my thought of the night
<wanman2> and with that, good night.
<fib> let us bathe in its profundity
<wanman2> and lather ourselves with its wisdom
<lbandit> and watch it flow down the drain
<lbandit> amidst our pubic hairs and semen
<lbandit> and urine
<wanman2> and vaginal discharge
<fib> my bishop delivers no sermons in the shower

<picklehammer> im nude right now
<xooz98> are you hammering your pickle?
<picklehammer> I was a while ago
<picklehammer> oh shir I got blood on my keyboard

<Warped> anyone know a _good_weap for a monk? the kama doesn't
seem that good...
<Spiffeh> fists
<Spiffeh> gah now monks remind me of lesbians

<SpAz> you, are an asshole. pure, natural, and bottled at the
source.

Gud> woah.. eating while tranquilised in your mouth isn't
exactly an easy task. :D
dhn> dentist?
Gud> yeah
*** dhn hands Gud a straw
Gud> dhn: straw?
dhn> Come on, you know how to suck ;)

Jpfan01 :if guys didn't have orgasms sometimes like women did
Wolf3055 :that would suck
Jpfan01 :we'd be killing entire city blocks
Jpfan01 :and rioting

<Jam> brb, I think my parents are having sex
<Sentynel> ...why brb?
<Asperoth> he wants to go find out for sure?

<`sic> now that should be in guinness
<`sic> world record for longest rolling ball of cats