bash.org archive

<Guest11734> Hello! I can redirect all your bot op request,
even BETWEEN
networks. Just type /msg Guest11734 op [botnick] [channel]
[password],
and I'll fix it for you!

<anihil8r> hmm.. when you were in school did they ever say
that you were special?

<MadScribe> it's called working for a growing company
<Soopa> work on my growing cock!
* Soopa has a way with words
<toNe> and a way with cocks
<Soopa> yeah that too

[NissanKin] I have my skyline for sale...
[NissanKin] $20k
[NissanKin] R30
[NissanKin] fastest in Oz
[Bayls] Actually the 1994 Holden Apollo is the fastest
production car ever produced in the unierse.
[NissanKin] i have 323kw at the whels
[Bayls] Yeah? I have a digital thermometer.

<kn1ves> How do you think Jesse Jackson would react if he got
asked to answer the white courtesy phone?

<magusXXX> I think it's funny that roxio wants to buy napster.
<magusXXX> "You steal it, we'll burn it!"

<jasn> if i ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have
a 'song'  together,  after i laugh
<jasn> i shall suggest master p - you can be my bitch

<Gplex> is this the main channel
<Gplex> where's the main channel?
<Gplex> what's a "main channel"
<Gplex> what does that mean: "in the main channel"

<JynxDaddy> 3boy should i get it 2nd hand?
<Threeboy> its a book man.
<Threeboy> the worst thing that can be in it is semen.
<Threeboy> go for it.
<JynxDaddy> :|

<@vampyr> clearly Trent Reznor is a debian user

<Tseng> Look what i got @ Email :!
<Tseng> "Every time you download warez, God kills a
programmer, please think about the programmers"
<Tseng> Shit then
* Tseng is AFK,  Leeching Warez 

(XBL-im): i have adelphia/time warner wires running side by
side
(XBL-im): into my room
(XBL-im): appartently my adelphia one is creating a magnetic
field that send the transmition into the air
(XBL-im): high enough that planes can pick it up
(XBL-im): *i live near a huge international airport*
(XBL-im): anyways, the FCC was looking for the problem
(XBL-im): and they found me
(XBL-im): they gave me this 30 min bullshit lecture on how it
works
(XBL-im): and then they offered me an alternative to cable
(XBL-im): lol

<zhixel:#sgi> I'm not really one for long hair and women who
aren't sleeping
with me, honestly.
<HomeySan:#sgi> but she's hog-tied on a VAX and holding a
Grant Continuity
card in her teeth

<DumbNewbi> I have conversations with god
<DumbNewbi> it's a little bit like talking with a sleeping
Calvin Coolidge though

<PuffinFreshWog> when people call me fat, i grab my man boobs
and jiggle then around a bit

Knight Takeru: what happened to your old greeting?
TheDauntlessStar: i dunno
TheDauntlessStar: it was there, then it just sorta faded
away...
TheDauntlessStar: like George Lucas's directing abilities
Knight Takeru: Yup...
Knight Takeru: or Bush's leadership..
Knight Takeru: wait
Knight Takeru: that was never there
Knight Takeru: my bad...

<daggorath> What are the good Hindu channels on Efnet?
<fdog> I am not to be knowing what the good hindu channels are
to being

<nrky> yeh, having a girlfriend tends to fuck up your ability
to be on the internet, shit they waste alot of time
<Twisted> I want a girl - but on the other hand, she has to
have the ability to go into the other room and communicate via
IM

<|steve|> you know whats sick
<|steve|> on every IRC network,
<|steve|> theres a channel called #binladen packed with people
<|steve|> and #wtc
<|steve|> opportunists

<Mr_Saturn> my girls gone wild is almost done downloading
<Mr_Saturn> i wish my laptop worked, i could go watch it in my
room
<`Tony`> lol, get real porn :P
<Mr_Saturn> ive got that too
<Mr_Saturn> but sometimes i just like too see the real stuff
<Mr_Saturn> not acted out shit and pornstars
<Mr_Saturn> like natural hot chicks
<Mr_Saturn> you know what i mean
<`Tony`> Yea...
<`Tony`> get a girlfriend :P

<Kormiic> I think you should reverse one of the letters in
your band logo, then you can have an official thumb in the
nu-metal market.

<jorm> i want to get laid. look out, world.

<charon> <danybear:#bearcave> danybear is a six one, 210 lb,
hairy leatherbear in Toronto, 50 years old, 6 uncut
<charon> whatever you do, don't join #bearcave asking for
warez
<FishBulb_> charon: uncut means 0-day you tard

<tuffy> Its hard to prove one isn't a professional litigious
bastard while suing someone else for being called that

<Desus> I'll just stick with my orginal plan for Nelly in the
left channel and lil romeo in the right channel, and my voice
panning back and forth going "this is not hip-hop"

< duoi> how do i stop getting my puter infected with adware
when downloading porn
< skas> block ads
< skas> update os and antivir
< hdqn> next!
< duoi> but how will i find out about lonely singles in my
local area
< hdqn> look into every window in the neighbourhood, if
they're IRCing that's your best best
< hdqn> the shorter the handle, the longer the candle, if
y'know what I mean

<ragnarok2040> @_@, i have a mouse scratching directly above
my head
<Uzzab0x> trailer mice O_o
* _absent 0_o CKY - Shock and Terror [3:07]
<ragnarok2040> :/ and i can't beat on the ceiling cuz it
messes up the ceiling fan
<ragnarok2040> so i have to ignore it
<Uzzab0x> I pity j00 rag :D
<_absent> haha your trailer is infested with canadians
<_absent> *mice

<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for AllYour
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for BaseAre
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for Belong2Us
* depresso falls over
<depresso> those were actual klines that just poped up on my
screen

<merk> never make a comment to your friend that a mentally
challenged person in a wheelchair is getting more action than
him

cynicalkane: why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year
olds?
cynicalkane: because there's twenty of them

[@pHluid] Dolphins also have foot long prehensile penises
[@pHluid] they can flex them, curl them, corkscrew them
whatever
[@pHluid] you haven't really lived until you've felt a
dolphin's cock up yo...er

<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey
<herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards

<helminthes> throw caution to the wind and then piss right
into it

<Nick> i go over my friends' houses with the sole intention of
eating their food.

<pooshda-coloring> http://www.pooshda.com/temp/test_color.jpg
<supreemball> that sucks poosh
<supreemball> oh wait, lemme actually look at it

<Daze> did you bind and unbind the strings correctly
<DigDug> Yes.
<DigDug> unbind msg - hello *msg:hello
<DigDug> bind msg - myword *msg:d1gdug

* hunterkll kneels and prays liek a good knight
<hunterkll> hunterkll: you have earned 10 virtue points and 5
strengthpoints
<hunterkll> and access to two hints
<hunterkll> heh :D
<jgannon> However, you still have -8 charisma.

(@David_Mitchell) Have a good day, Mist
(@_Mist_|School) you and your oxymorons
(@David_Mitchell) "good" and "day"?

< telex > i love god
< Bayls > Telex - except in your case "god" is your anus, and
you "worship" it with a broom handle.

<Bushman> heh, those voice commands in mobile phones...
<Bushman> say "text *contact_name* message *message_text*"
<Bushman> or "email *contact_name* subject *message_subject*
message *message_text*"
<Bushman> what if... just what if... the guy's name is
Mr.Message or Mr.Subject?
<Bushman> :D
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.message.9
<Bushman> facebook.com/john.subject

|N3O| ([email protected]) is now known as windowsxp
<+windowsxp> thought a nick like this would be taken
<+windowsxp> guess whoevers computer who had this nick before
crashed

<Warokii> i got home this morning at 9am after driving all
night hauling animal feed from wentachee
<Warokii> and all i wanted to do was sleep
<Warokii> so i slept
<Warokii> and i had 1 hour of sleep in me when somebody
started ringing the door bell
<Warokii> and wouldnt quit
<Warokii> and i was rightously peeeved for havin my sleep
disturbed
<Warokii> i answered the door with an half assed mind and
thinking it was that tupperware saleswoman who kept coming to
my block to sell plastic
<Warokii> and i gave the woman a piece of my mind in the most
nasty way
<WillZ> and?
<Warokii> .... turns out it was my mom.
<kyokki> LOL! that's not good
<Warokii> i think im off her will :(

<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?1730
<Wasted-> http://bash.org/?3630
<BadDoggie> http://bash.org/?22799
<BadDoggie> Wasted: quit typing the top 100
<Mitzii> why, your monitor running out of ink or something???

<cj_> i have symlinked pine to mutt on my system and put a
reasonably cool .muttrc in everyone's home directory  that
uses pine
<cj_> i may be a nazi, but they'll thank me later

<crazy> you just made a huge withdrawl from the first bank of
fag.

<Mnementh4> There are many things in this world that shouldn't
be shewed upon...
<Mnementh4> and one of them just happens to be dark blue pens
<Mnementh4> Teh worst thing is, I bit my lip a little while
ago,
<Mnementh4> so I think I just gave myself a tattoo...

<Madman> woohoo!
<Madman> made it thru the 3rd level!
<CrashCat> gratz
<CrashCat> before you know it you'll be done and saying 'this
game sux, it's too short' and taking it back to the store

<stark> hi guys, anyone got a webpage on how ms exchange
works?
<@normal1> sure
<@normal1> <html><title>How MS exchange works</title><head>
<body> MS EXCHANGE SUCKS ARSE </body></head>
<takeaction> normal1: WOW! I think that's the best explination
of exchange I have ever seen...

<Sabre> Anyone know what's going on X Files?
<AtmaWeapon> if anyone spoils anything I'm gonna kickban them.
<l0bster> Then, they get a tip, that some guy named
AtmaWeapon's mom, was
some kinda funky werewolf. So they drove to her house with
3metric tons
of tranq, and shot her fat ass. Repeatedly, until she passed
out. But
the slobber from her mouth floods the room and kills
everyone.

<DrNick668> an asian buddy started to hang out with what he
calls 'a gang of hardcore azns'
<DrNick668> he says that if someone wanted to bash him they'd
get killed and they'd hafta go thru a few lines of defense
<DrNick668> i'm thinkin what he means is he's in an azn clan
for CS
<DrNick668> and if i shot at him i'd get fragged
<DrNick668> and the lines of defense are a firewall, virus
scan and flood protection on his irc porn server

* Kristoph is a 16 year old trance / hard house DJ from
sheffield, anyone wanna pretend to be a girl and talk about
masturbation?

<NEGRO> i find out if i can get 1.5mbit cable tomarrow
<NEGRO> comcast keep dicking us around
<NEGRO> "yes, service is available in your area"
<NEGRO> "oh, its available, but not in your neighborhood, but
in your area!"
<NEGRO> "oh, it is available in your neighborhood."
<NEGRO> "well, maybe its not, we just like getting your hopes
up you stupid fuck ass!"

<kimo> tylenol + advil + a half a shot of JD == an episode of
seinfeld, all characters played by your truly

<ozsphere> I would like to say that im on windows not on
redhat...reason i said i was in redH. cause I thought everyone
that was leet was on linux or unix so to fit in I had to
lie...sorry..

*** madwoota changes topic to 'Synoptica needs a dick slapped
against his forehead.'
<incorrect> that an offer woota?

<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands
of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the
weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down

<carson> what's the easiest way to get gimp on os x?
<Spam_Man> install Photoshop

<skold> i had the wierdest fucking dream
<skold> me and the gang from scooby doo were strapped to those
bed things in the back of some car for a mental institute

<kuribo> i guess if i spent less time deathmatching i'd have a
woman
<kuribo> but deathmatching is free
<kuribo> fragging > sex
<WildPegasus> Fragging is kind of like sex. If you do them
right, goo goes everywhere.
<kuribo> pretty much, peg... and just like sex, after you're
done fragging, you can just leave the server if you want, or
stick around for another round

<@FoX> for the record
<@FoX> she never cybered me
<@FoX> i cybered her
<@FoX> :D
<@FoX> oh yeh....did i forget to mention i kept gettign the
message no such Nick/Channel

<immi> i want madonnas pussy
<dr\gonzo> besides you putting your penis inside madonna would
be like you putting your penis out the window
<dr\gonzo> that shit has to be sooooo loose

* Drago needs a fake ID :/
<Drago> I'm sick of being turned away from bars and shit.
<Fentom> -{Drago}- if you can look like a 50 year old obese
caribbean woman, I have just the thing for you

<< Now chatting in #finalfight
>>Quit! imaginari " Leaving "
>>Quit! MightyQuinn " Ping timeout "
>>Quit! Thom " Ping timeout "
[Nyphur] ARGH! I'm killing people by being here!

<SmugLynnPlums> with all this quote shit going on, everyone on
IRC is going to witty as fuck or make an ass out of themself
doing so.

<LordViper> Atarax: in all honestly, we don't care what you do
in your spare time, however if it has entertainment value, we
like to hear it

G3nki: my printer is printing subliminal messages on my paper
Keerax: ...o_O
G3nki: it's printing out "Join the Military!"
G3nki: like cutting half of it at the top of the page
Keerax: yvan eht nioj
G3nki: never!

<Alvaro> I'd tap you anytime Treen
<Treen|Dead> the dead are beyond blame...
<Treen|Dead> ...
<Alvaro> ...
<Treen|Dead> *uncomfortable moment*
<Alvaro> *awkward silence*
<Treen|Dead> SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS
HOLY.
<Psychorider> does that make Alvaro a necrophiliac?
<Alvaro> So ummm, how about em Knicks?
<Zippo> Something.

<phr0work> I buffer overflowed my penis last night

<enex> You have invited Vic Viper to start using Microsoft
Windows. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the
pending invitation.
<enex> Vic Viper does not have Microsoft Windows installed and
is not able to accept your invitation.
<enex> Look how clever I am! ^_^