#21980 + (151)
<Zenith`> he went all "want a nut"
<Zenith`> and he was like "sure"
<Zenith`> and one thing lead to another, and now kort has anal
warts
#41126 + (151)
<@GPF> It's normal to experiment with your friends.  What you
need is an older man to help you experiment wisely.  Please
call (232) 555-8338 and ask for Dave.
#24351 + (151)
<fo0bar> it's sad how I can watch these simpsons dvds and pick
out the scenes that were cut for syndication
<ogw> yeah...so how's the Android's Dungeon doing for ya?
<fo0bar> worst...  channel...  ever
#33947 + (151)
<WakkyMouse> Why the hell is TBS in black and white here?
<Taperlass> Karmic retribution for Ted Turner colorizing "It's
a Wonderful Life."
#8066 + (151)
<ItaLiaNStaLLioN> hey i deleted internet explorer by accident
and now i need a browser asap, could some1 send me it plz
#46699 + (151)
(+Ruskins) AeroBob doenst like star wars, so hes clearly a BIG
FAG
(+Normandy) I think he was referring to your sexual
orientation actually
(+Kazimierz) I thought he meant he was a giant cigarette
#22121 + (151)
<Scorp10n> god I'm an idiot
<Scorp10n> I have to like make icons on my desktop to help me
remember shit
<Scorp10n> because that's like the only place where I'm 100%
sure to see them unless the power goes out
#60139 + (151)
<True_Hitoare> Yeah, it's amazing this abacus gets internet
access... :p
#11461 + (151)
<mrunix> WCOME   Ticker symbol has changed to:  WWENT
#40606 + (151)
<Elmina> IRC politics are exactly like junior high politics,
only they make less difference in the real world.
#7455 + (151)
<Scire> Yeah well I haven't been IRCing much lately
<E-vangelist> Scire: finally figured out you could masturbate
with your other hand, eh?
#113106 + (151)
<AH6969> that's univ. irvine
<AH6969> that college is like 60% azn
<SKID> I bet the parking lot is like a used Honda lot
<AH6969> there's a few expensive bmws and benzs in there
<SKID> yeah....those are the japanese kids
<SKID> and all the piece of shit cars with like dents and shit
are the teachers cars
#695066 + (151)
<LouZiffer> We just got back from the ultrasound. Everything's
good. I'm the proud father of a lima bean with a heartbeat.
<RangerRick> LouZiffer: oh no!  it'll be a vegetable!
#39613 + (151)
<CrackPr0n-E> all of my g/f's(except one) were all legal
<CrackPr0n-E> so was everyone i've ever slept with
<CrackPr0n-E> you know what that means?
<wombat> Crack: you got your money's worth?
#1542 + (151)
<Evil_Kneival> I see.
<super`radish> dude
<super`radish> stop with the punctuation
<Evil_Kneival> Why?
<super`radish> because its like putting a rainbow cowboy
sticker on your car bumper
#12864 + (151)
<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a
restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at
all times."
#40840 + (151)
<Error_404> hmm... they seem to be covert snackfoods...
<Error_404> hostess/frito-lay denies their existance
<Cache_> see, they suck so much you can't even find shit about
them on the internet
<Cache_> goatse is on the internet and canadian potato chips
aren't
<Cache_> tells you something about the chips, man...
#93944 + (151)
(doggie^): i went shopping earlier and bought lots of heavy
stuff, so when i packed all the stuff i made sure all the bags
weighed the same
(doggie^): then when i went to leave i realised i'd packed
three bags
(doggie^): :(
#37543 + (151)
* DerianX sets mode: +m
<DerianX> Try to talk.
* DerianX sets mode: +v GWA
<DerianX> Now try.
<GWA> try what?
<DerianX> ...
<Gaz> It's mainly used for big channels tho
<DerianX> To talk.
<GWA> my mic is not setup lol
<DerianX> ...
<Gaz> rofl
#944205 + (151)
Nero: You can put a cow in a dress but it's still a cow...
Ish: I know we have a lot of cows in my school.
#104713 + (151)
<zc> what, you don't watch porn in groups?
<thecool> lol
<hgl> no porn is me time
#34312 + (151)
<madsen> is there an online Perl-manual that resemples the
php-manual. (God! That manual can bring a grown man to his
knees.)
* madsen panics.
<madsen> I'm in love with a manual...!
#36538 + (151)
<fizzie> like there was this one day I took three grams of
sugar and few litres of coke and some assorted lego mindstorm
bits and made sense out of them
<DiamonDie> fizzie: i read "and i snorted lego mindstorm bits"
#48582 + (151)
<BenZor> I once kissed a guy for $20, but he wouldn't take $50
for a handjob :/
#100837 + (151)
<cold_russian> i think... i just... blew up... the heater.
#27436 + (151)
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: question
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: is it good for a girl to be hairy er no?
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: ?
Eric3934: no
KiSsAbLeMaiDeN: aight thanks
#85901 + (151)
<Smurfette> I used to blow up cars... but I kept burning my
lips on that damn exhaust pipe
#75614 + (151)
<r4ge> i just connect to eu.undernet.org or us.undernet.org
<r4ge> lucky dip ;D
<_Godless_> I thought I was taking a lucky dip once
<_Godless_> then I got herpes
#17907 + (151)
<George>  : Walmart is selling Linux boxes now.
<George>  : Onward and upward.
<George>  : Once you get them in the Walmart's, Cosco's, and
K-Mart's, world domination is near.
<3hreeD>  : yeah george but there's only so much you can do
with those linux boxes
<George>  : Yeah, like run the net.
#37440 + (151)
<Tiio> Dude, I don't think I've even SEEN 15.6 gigs of pr0n.
<Tiio> I mean
<Tiio> in all my wanking.
<Dogmeat> (which is quite a bit)
<Tiio> well
<Tiio> I don't get to watch much movies so -_-;
<Tiio> usually have to stick to .txts, bleh.
#2632 + (151)
<spicrx7> if the sidewalks were paved with coks, i'd walk on
my asshole
#70319 + (151)
<Noplex> So Herne, what is your New years resolution?
<Herne> To stop talking to you?
<Noplex> You broke that already.
<Herne> Oops
#56321 + (151)
<Nergy> How much do movies cost these days?
<Meatwad> matine's cost 5.50 or so
<Nergy> w00t! I have that!
<Nergy> in fact, its RIGHT in my pants now
<Meatwad> dollars not inches
<Nergy> oh my bad.
#91656 + (151)
(FDSA): Someone once told me to dance like I fight...
(FDSA): all graceful and shit...
(FDSA): I almost had it...
(FDSA): Then I dropped my girlfriend on her head
#118199 + (151)
<realmockturtle> i need to get
<realmockturtle> my nipples eyebrow and tonuge pierced
<realmockturtle> because apparently
<realmockturtle> that goes over well
<realmockturtle> oh yeah
<realmockturtle> not being a fatass would help too
<realmockturtle> but i can't solve that with a needle and a
hoop
#29693 + (151)
* Amuck50 designs some magic items for a D&D campaign
<Amuck50> heheh Arrows of Nuking.....
<Kyle> Cock ring of glory.
<Amuck50> cock ring of +2 protection
#912 + (151)
[07:34] * Fustard is away, penis butter puffs [log:OFF]
[page:OFF]
[07:45] * Fustard has returned, that was some good cock.
[gone:10m21s]
#14738 + (151)
<tortoise> what should i name my turtles?
<archon> name one kurt, and one courtney, and blow one's head
off with a shotgun
#13254 + (151)
<Arno> i got kicked off a cray at school for running "pine"
#38961 + (150)
* ZondrZout has entered
<Arathorn> hello
<ZondrZout> Well, how typical...
<ZondrZout> Only the bot greets me
<Karyon> lol
#8507 + (150)
<helminthes> what girls have to realize is that every other
guy is wrong and i am right
#46064 + (150)
*** EvilikkiN has quit IRC (Quit: I have flabby thighs, but
fortunately my stomach covers them)
#474527 + (150)
Grotw8: whats strong enough for a man but built for a woman?
Grotw8: the back of my hand
#70305 + (150)
<Raspberry> I'm a "Businessman" i work for myself -- I do not
sit in my parents basement and drink mountain dew all day
while beating off to Princess Leah during the Jabba the Hutt
scenes -- so I really don't relate to most "linux geeks"
#52773 + (150)
<Mr_|r0n> Do ANYBODY have a program who hack Linux Root
password
<solarisx-> type /con/con and it will open a hacking window
then you type /hack * and it will teach you about it
<Mr_|r0n> con/con Unknown command
<solarisx-> fuck, you dont have it
<Mr_|r0n> were do i get it ?
<solarisx-> www.penis.com
*** Mr_|r0n has parted the channel
#61795 + (150)
<Andrew> The EX in NeoEX stands for Extra
XtremeAnalPenetration.
<NeoEX> It's funny cause it's true.
#15766 + (150)
[markel([email protected])]  do you think
if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt,
someone would eventually kick your ass?
#82053 + (150)
<Calaveron> time to get the hose and the bucket
<Measure> you smelled that fart too?
#42716 + (150)
<@rsg_6100> i likew the fact that my monitors and my computer
keep my room nice and toasty with out me having to use the
heater
<@Hardedge> i think that has more to do with convection then
radiation
<@rsg_6100> i can make popcorn from the radiation
<@Hardedge> yummy
<@Hardedge> well at least you can't have offspring
<@rsg_6100> naw i got some of the "boys" frozen in the freezer
#24901 + (150)
<Guest_0135966> Want FUN??? Come to the MjsIRC Chat Network...
For High Speed Servers, Ready To Party, With Another Server To
Come!, simply type /server mjs48.bsd.st or /server
kevin.mjs48.bsd.st or /server steven.mjs48.bsd.st   .JOIN
NOW!!!
* Guest_0135966 has quit IRC (Client closed connection)
<HunterSD> Want to FUCK OFF? Come to the Windows Desktop
Party... For high speed fun, with another Alt+F4 to Come!
Simply type /Quit, or /qUiT, or /QUIT... DO IT NOW!!!!
#45695 + (150)
*IgnusDei learned that no matter how bad things are, it will
never be quite as bad as the time he masturbated in the adult
secton of the video store...which of course was under vidcam
surveillance
<IgnusDei> ZING!
<m|tutorial> if i didnt like the current topic
<m|tutorial> that would be there right now
<DrFurious> it could be worse
<DrFurious> you could have masturbated in the gay adult
section of the video store
#3385 + (150)
<crums|zzz> i love my bed
<crums|zzz> still need to christen it...grrr
#34278 + (150)
<@mr_zap> kinda like some toilet seat incident I know about
<@Glenn> hahaha
<@Glenn> i went to the loo at kents place
<@Glenn> forgot about the toilet seat
<@Glenn> and i was like
<@Glenn> fuck your toilets uncomfortable
<@Glenn> and hes like, well, u gotta put the seat down
#49480 + (150)
<+Zebz> someone should plot a graph of how much money each of
these nigerian emails is offering against time
<+Zebz> I think it's some kind of hidden message
#7299 + (150)
<bytraper> hmm these persoals actually look ok
<Lord-Data> lol
<Lord-Data> till you find the penis
#9909 + (150)
<carl> Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100%
compression
#46783 + (150)
Dr SpaZZo: Complain about something and I'll one up you.
TwilightKnight00: um i'm cold?
Dr SpaZZo: My laptop power cord is making sparks and at any
moment it'll probably light my pants on fire.
TwilightKnight00: heheh thats kinda funny
Dr SpaZZo: I know...
TwilightKnight00: if it does happen
TwilightKnight00: grab your digicam
TwilightKnight00: i want video
#119554 + (150)
<axiom-> mike myers is fuckin canadian
<axiom-> he'd outsmart those two nitwit killers anyday
<starrie> the guy from halloween
<starrie> not austin powers
<starrie> ninny.
<axiom-> oh.
#49879 + (150)
#Linux on GamesNET
* Topic is '2.4.19 stable/2.5.40 unstable || don't ask to ask
a question...just ask it!'
* Stumpy has joined #Linux
<Stumpy> I have a mandrake question
<Stumpy> mandrake anyone?
<Rev`15th> read the topic
<Stumpy> ok
<Stumpy> later
<Stumpy> idiot
* Stumpy has left #Linux
#8863 + (150)
<Bikky> I've been staring at fserves so long I don't know
whether I need a shit or a haircut
#23224 + (150)
[Shinji] hate that you know.... pants off, hand cream on the
desk, then the fucking thing announces "22 minutes remaining"
:/
#8050 + (150)
<sammy1812> try puting cocaine on a bullet and shoting
yourself in the head, the ultimate high i tell you
#8643 + (150)
<mewse> we all gotta satisfy our irc addiction in one way or
another
<mewse> if that means using aol, so be it
#9417 + (150)
(Psy`): Skins tell crespo when he comes back
(@Skins): hopefully he has brains to read topic
(@Skins): actually i best wait
#60092 + (150)
<KaRn> so if i made a million $ american and moved to
canada.....i'd be richer?
#954104 + (150)
<Sheep> Cat owners - Do you ever find that you're stroking
your cat and suddenly everything feels like a tasty chicken
dinner?
#34401 + (150)
<Macphisto> You guys keep an eye out for Chromatics new
oreilly weblog titled, "How the power of perl couldn't stop
Macphisto from breaking my legs."
#46717 + (149)
<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:   Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a
month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are
ingesting tape worm eggs.
<Jouka> Bwahahaha
<Cindy728> um.....ew....
#143587 + (149)
<pantsme> guys, give me ways the govt influences your life
daily
<pantsme> i need 3 more
<Novasol> what do you have already?
<grendy> increased taxes due to multiple simultaneous wars,
and slightly lower gas price3s thanks to stolen oil?
<grendy> or should i just shut up? my head hurts
<pantsme> i got the basics i just need a few others
<pantsme> make stuff up
<grendy> predator
<GoatLord> how about: They make laws that say I can't beat
that stupid fucker with a tire iron.
<redsleep> reading my thoughts through major league baseball
<grendy> uh, the illuminati, the skull & crossbones, the
magestic twelve?
<pantsme> nice
<pantsme> askin this on irc was dumb
<pantsme> :D
<GoatLord> you think?