bash.org archive

* Mas_Tnega decides to bring a friend in here
[1718:49] * sibn is now known as Tnegas_Friend
[1718:51] * Tnegas_Friend is now known as sibn
<Mas_Tnega> sibn: My friendships are usually shorter than that
<coolsi> less than 2 seconds?
<coolsi> you must be a really big social reject
<sibn> my friendships are usually shorter than my penis
<Mas_Tnega> sibn: They don't exist?
<sibn> Mas_Tnega: precisely

<JohnDough> man being an athiest is so awesome, as long as you
don't tell anybody
<JohnDough> i testified against my stepmom (whom i hate) in a
trial today
<Forlorn> what did she do?
<JohnDough> nothing
<JohnDough> but the jury sure as hell thinks she did

<magpie> why am I watching spice girls behind the music
<magpie> am I that bored
<jeff> you obviously need to spice up your life

<DooD> what's your BMI assnugget?
<synthetiq> 25
<DooD> fatass
<synthetiq> i have a large upper body
<DooD> so you have manboobs?

<Markus_> I can't wait until I get something to fiddle with in
my hands...

<jcarle> We don't have SATs in canada.
<jcarle> All our words stop at 6 letters.

* dbzfreak pokes javabie
* javabie fights back by talking javabieish
<@javabie> hy
<@javabie> how r u
<@javabie> asl
<@javabie> ??????????????????/??//?/?????????????
<@javabie> ?
<@javabie> ???????????///
<@dbzfreak> ..*DIES*

<solo> Think about a time in your life which you had the most
fun, well....then picture work being the total opposite

<Murdock> r2d2 isnt a robot.. it's a droif
<Murdock> er.. droid
<jitspoe> r2d2 isn't a robot, it's a midget in a tin can!

<pe> how do u see what modules are loaded into apache
<deth1666-> wear 3d glasses

<Knux_The_Echidna> Mel Brooks? what was (s)he in?

<ckx> kira looks like someone put a bag over her head and
smashed her in the face with a monkey wrench

<Oz> Psionic?
<Oz> oh my god
<Oz> isn't a Psionic one of those things that girls use to
train their vaginal muscles?

<NickBlasta> i always dream and then wake up and i was like
woah was that real
<NickBlasta> like the matrix
<isajeep> which pill did you take?
<NickBlasta> the hard pill
<isajeep> lol  knew you'd say that

<citrus-> hehe, some guy called me a few weeks ago, asking if
I would like more TV channels to watch. (Obviously selling
some cable stuff) so I said 'Yes I would' and hung up

<Twisty> Fkn ETG banned me for 24 hours :/
<Twisty> TOok me forever to get back on :(
*** Twisty has quit IRC (Killed (AdminServ (Insecure
Connection (Type Insecure HTTP Bounce - Port 3128) - for help
to get your security fixed plz go here: http://
help.enterthegame.com/services/security.htm)))

<Guff> .l
<Guff> lol
<HipPriest> LOL@guff having a /l command

<Stratisphere> mirc must be the most annoying and addictive
application (appart from solitare) ever developed for the pc

<Xaotika> if i ever start a band, remind me to call it MY ASS.
<Xaotika> then you could all come watch MY ASS if we ever
perform on stage.
<Xaotika> MY ASS will rock your world. i'm sure.

<cile_16> give me +v
<cile_16> pls
<ToRMeNTeD> give me head
<ToRMeNTeD> please
<cile_16> why
<ToRMeNTeD> then maybe
<ToRMeNTeD> cuz I want to fuck your mouth
<ToRMeNTeD> and you want +v
<ToRMeNTeD> we can help each other
<cile_16> fuck off
<ToRMeNTeD> :D

<Kenji310> Crap shit, my teacher wants me to find out how
dogfishes reproduce
<Wallon> Um, dogfish sex?
<Kenji310> yep
<Stryker> They do it doggie style.

<kas> did you getta message from Mike last night?
<kas> he msged you on aim
<SDMF> he msged me?
<kas> i put in big bold letters
<kas> JOHN ITS MIKE LETS CYBER NOW
<kas> and yur roommate answered
<kas> and was like who's this
<kas> and ize like
<kas> Johns cyber boyfriend, Mike
<kas> is he there?
<kas> i wanna cyber sooo bad
<kas> yur roommate blocked me or signed off

<gamma8> well i hope you enjoy it then!
<c0c0nutz> thanks G8, I hope so too cause honestly.. I rather
be on bed right now
* gamma8 feels like an important summit of industrialised
nations
<gamma8> that's the sort of thing that gives you a nice warm
and fuzzy feeling inside... :)

<Gartuff|VivaLasVegas> so far my record is like 10+ trips to
vegas, without ever getting married

<entheh> oh noes
<entheh> my xmms has frozen
<entheh> DIE XMMS! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
<entheh> err oh, it did

<St_Zartan> all my scenes were deleted from "8 mile"
<St_Zartan> apparently training for the paralympics isn't
"street" enough for them, the bastards

< Duckman > i had 12 hours sex the other nite
< Duckman > i was jerking off n fell asleep
< Duckman > so i was still had it in my hand
< Duckman > for 12 hours

<Hell_Patrol> to win the game, you must kill me... john romero

<Tagrineth> You shouldn't hit a girl ;P
<[justin]> i dont consider you a girl
<[justin]> i consider you one of the gays
<[justin]> er
<[justin]> i mean one of the guys

Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was
in 2nd grade or something

<Drugdown> Everyone makes mistakes.
<Fleebis> Especially you.

<crum> 1-800-We Are 18
<crum> good number
<crum> they were lucky
<nem0> yeah, good thing it wasn't We-Are-12
<crum> lol
<bryne> i'm sure that's taken, too

<Fustard> i dont understand this commercial
<Fustard> "SOBE YOURSELF"
<Fustard> WHY WONT THE GOD DAMN DOOR OPEN
<orion> because that guy was in sandlot
<orion> and his career sucks so much even cold storage doors
won't open for him

<@playstation201> check the device manager silly
<[TSE]SPaZED> where's that at?
<@playstation201> right click on My Computer, click
properties, then click hardware, then click device manager
.....
<[TSE]SPaZED> im still looking for my computer
<@playstation201> ok, then press and hold the windows key, and
press the pause break key
<@PSX_Cheatster> Oooo... ain't that fancy
<@playstation201> impress at my hotkey skillz PSX_Cheatster?
:-p
<@PSX_Cheatster> Not really playstation201, I don't need to
memorize silly hotkeys like that cause I'm smart enough to
find My Computer...

<RevengePimpy> man Steven Hawking is the shit
<HazE> lol
<RevengePimpy> He talks like a robot

<pinepusher> Anyone know a good place where someone with no
credit can get a loan???
<xENo> yeah, but the rates are high
<xENo> and if you miss a payment, they repo your life
<pinepusher> what are the rates like?
<pinepusher> any idea?

<Alby_Fox> if pirating movies was an olympic sport I'd be
canada
<Alby_Fox> or some other country
<Alby_Fox> that loses

<Japhro> cams: think you can try and mention e3 a few more
times, I don't think I ignored you enough the first few times.

<Bashman> Hehe, did you know that if you cross "encyclopaedia"
and "paedophile" you get "encylopaedophile?"
<Bashman> Or "encyclopaedophilia".
<HamhamSoZ> ...I see

<blazemore> i'm totally kewl, dude.
<LkTrout1> hypr is jealous of blazemore's Dell nametag.
<hypr> im jealous of lks lack of penile gland
<LkTrout1> My bulbourethral glands work just fine.
<LkTrout1> nerd
<hypr> ahahah
<gb> LakeTrout the wannabe doctor

<[CNI]Smy> k now that i just relized that those were like $200
headphones
<[CNI]Smy> i am gona go out and buy some glue
<[CNI]Smy> and fix em
<[CNI]Goose> get crazy glue, it can even glue your arm back
on, U can use it for emergency surgery in the field....
<[CNI]Smy> no i cant
<[CNI]Smy> cuz then i will have the urge to cut my dogs legs
off and try to glue them back on.

<alseen> researchers say you should be "breast aware"
<alseen> The researchers were also able to pinpoint the
funniest moment of the
year. People found the jokes funniest at 6.03pm on
October 7
<alseen> um, two different studies

<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> god damnit this porn i dled has a dude in
it
<Yeti[B-A]> porns normally do
<ZahanTheThief[B-A]> the only dick i wana see while i watch
porn is mine

<Adiemus> IIS has many features
<slicer|Java> such as bugs, security leaks, etc... =]

<Flossie> depends how much you get paid for staying in bed
<Brocken> I get payed £100 an hour for the things I do in bed
<nameinuse> you run a law firm from under your duvet?
<Brocken> no, I'm a gimp ;(

<PopeCrunch> I'm trying to get funding for a series.
<PopeCrunch> The Franklin Mint set of Presidential Dumps: Only
49.95.
<PopeCrunch> This month's special: The Lincoln 'Log'.

<VxD> mmm, nothing like a little VD on a Friday afternoon
<VxD> oops, nevermind, it was just lipstick

<bLacKywiNg> my ass hurts really bad right now...
<bLacKywiNg> i haven't ridden one in a long time!
<bLacKywiNg> but it was a really smooth ride once u get on it

<+Tolkien`> chicks will only last a while
<+Tolkien`> i can use my comp all night

<Hamsters> i'm trying to get me self one at downtown BUT they
got those stickers on the glasses and said that i need to be
19 older
<shagman> only for tobacco
<shagman> not pipes and papers and crap
* Owyn blinks
<Owyn> Shag: smaller sentences
<Owyn> You'll break his brain.

<Mosqui^> but don't diss clothes
<Mosqui^> clothes rule
<Mosqui^> i love clothes
<Mosqui^> and i love shopping for clothes
<Mosqui^> .....god i'm a woman

<Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a
10 year old raduck
<Radu> ...
<Tac0> (took me a while to find a damn screwdriver)
<evildoer> which ones the 10 year old/
<Tac0> NO STANDOFFS TO BE SEEN
<Radu> taco must not want my help anymore?
<evildoer> WHICH ONE IS THE 10 YEAR OLD?
<Tac0> the mobo and case are on each other like r kelly and a
10 year old, raduck
<Tac0> that make more sense?
<Radu> yes
<Radu> PROPER PUNCTUATION AND SPELLING SAVE TEH DAY AGAIN

<Epesh> I wish I was in control of all hiring
<Epesh> for everywhere
<Epesh> McD's would have no labour shortage

<BoZZ> my thing don't work...
<[TX]-KnacK_WerK> well at least ur not married...

<Balamutas> games suck :P
<Dr.Evil> and swallow
<Dr.Evil> :P
<NoXeR> i wish i have this game

<Mosai> my habit of buying junk food significantly diminished
when they took the self checkouts out of the nearby safeway
<Mosai> since i now have to look another human being in the
face when i purchase stuff now

<Joesomebo> but can I operate under a different IP address
that's not being used for example? Or is that the type of
thing they only do in movies

<Pete[z]> my mate gaz was trying to get a blowjob from this
girl ok
<Pete[z]> so, he dipp'd his nob in dip cheese at this party
<Pete[z]> anyway
<Pete[z]> so she sucke dhim off
<Pete[z]> then her mother came home
<Pete[z]> grabbed a biscuit
<Pete[z]> and straight for the cheese dip

<Lisa_W> ah, vevery woman's fantasy, 1,000,000s of mindless
drones doing what she says....and they call her queen
<Lisa_W> but we'll only want the one that acts like a jerk lol

<JtotheB> There is a certain brand of coolness that one can
achieve only by being fully CSS and HTML standards compliant.
* JtotheB flashes a shit-eating grin and cracks a beer.

<Moeser> you don't chase whiskey  
<Moeser> you run away from it 
<Moeser> very swiftly  
<Moeser> and you don't make sudden moves

<Sandino> christ, Im pushing 30 and Ive never driven a car, I
need a life application not a job one

<stout> I think smokers invented lighters because smoking
makes a person ugly, and they were tired of hearing the same
joke all the time:  smoker - "Hey, got a match?"  non-smoker -
"Yeah, your face and my butt."

<XAlien88> you can always tell when packet kiddies run a shell
provider

<KungFuGrp> CABLE
<KungFuGrp> It's ALIVE!!!!!!
<KungFuGrp> the cable man didn't say anything about the warez
cds, but he kind of got mad cause of the black box plugged
into the tv
<Wilamena> haha

<angelB> shit
<angelB> drinking 2L of pepsi blue will FUCK YOU UP
<angelB> and not in any positive way
<angelB> it's like feeling sick after drinkin too much alc
<angelB> without the benefits of being drunk/not remembering
it

<Luna`> I need to start getting out there and...
<Luna`> prodding buttocks

<@PrincessSleia2> uh, so a few months ago i stopped drinking
coffee
<@PrincessSleia2> so i had two cups this morning and drank dr
pepper with lunch, and i am now unstable
<@FrozenFireball> .........
<@PrincessSleia2> ok, more unstable than usual

* djenk feels like his energy has been completly drained out
of him
* muiredach pumps energy back up in djenk
<muiredach> ooops, that was the airpump ;-)
* djenk now feels listless and bloated too ;/