bash.org archive

<degradationtrip> i need all 4 food groups now to get my mind
off of things
<atm_> pussy, beer, weed, cake.

<ctrlbreak> i went to Coles to get cigarettes
<ctrlbreak> but forgot what i went there for
<ctrlbreak> and came home with cordial and milk
<ctrlbreak> instead
<ctrlbreak> i feel ripped off

<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for
a server so he
finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?
"

<mef> Systematic Asian Removal Service

<ishmal> im so naiive sometimes,  for a while, i thought
"Dubya" was some russian guy

<Kevyn> Fappy Spanksgiving.

[redbeard ] fuck I feel like shit
[invertiga] stores close soon, might be a bit hard to pick up
some :p

* ogw is zooming along at 650
* ogw looks like that guy from the memorex commercials when
he's sitting at his computer
<fo0bar> is it live?
<ogw> has anyone ripped that off yet?
<ogw> or have I just predicted the next Dell campaign
<ogw> "Is it dead?  Or is it Dell®?"

<Shafty> but you can't expect linux to hold your dick for you
while you pee like windows does...
<Snapcase> I don't want it to hold my dick, but it would be
nice if the toilet wasn't an unmarked cinderblock.
<Thraq> and you have to shake it yourself too....
<Thraq> just grab that root and shake it good
<Thraq> and say "Take that Microsoft"!!!!!

<Rocket> nothing gay about predicting the size of a mans cock

<JonTG> What's more fun than swinging a dead baby around on a
rope?
<JonTG> Stopping it with a shovel.

<ck3k> i wonder how people with parkingson's disease wipe
their ass
<ck3k> that must be a fucking trial
<ck3k> i bet muhammed ali has a whole staff hired just to do
that

<+b00st> leaving for sleep and other related things
<+b00st> don't ask

<evileye|ESC> http://promotions.yahoo.com/yodel/
<evileye|ESC> YAhOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!
<Hellfire> ROFL
<evileye|ESC> "DO NOT ENTER THIS PROMOTION IF YOU ARE NOT
LOCATED AND LEGALLY RESIDING IN THE UNITED STATES (EXCEPT
FLORIDA) DURING THE ENTIRE TERM OF THIS PROMOTION."
<evileye|ESC> EXCEPT FLORIDA!
<evileye|ESC> damn old people
<Hellfire> hahaha
<Hellfire> they dont want the professional florida yodelers to
win......

<davidc> we will set you up a refuse where you can make PHP5
if you ever have to flee the country!
<[Rizz]> start a fund "bring zeev to the UK"
<@Zeev> I'd rather die than make PHP 5.0, thank you :)

<strangeintp> anyone know what version ships with latest free
Mangina distro?
<mpyne> bwahahaha
<pahli_bar> lol
<mpyne> s/Mangina/Mandriva/ maybe?

<loucura> She just accused me of having an affair with my
router.
<loucura> Route me baby Route me!  Oh!  Oh yah!  Oh!
<ivan> damnit my packets aren't going through
<loucura> ivan: That's because you're using the CONDOM flag

[Cask] |
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *|
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - */
[Cask] |= - - - - - - - - - - - - *__
[Cask] I= ^|^
[Cask] erp
[Cask] I find it difficult to express myself accurately in irc

<Speedsta> heh, just wasted 25c on a msg saying: ":`("

<Psychic-A> if i move its vancouver
<Psychic-A> unless i can get in the usa...but its hard no?
<James> are you muslim?

<downer> http://www.pollypocket.com/sea/pool/pool_party.asp
<-- now this is what the internet is all about
<nathan> woman was in the room + speakers on loud = me having
to do a bunch of explaining
<phyre> haha

<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their
heads?

<Keiichi> It takes brains to grow weed

<Justice-P-> africa totally ruins that picture; the stripes
make it stand out too much
<Icehawk|work> j: that's south america and north america
<Justice-P-> whatever

<King-of-darknesses> my kernel is panic'ing , i need to
reassure him some

<{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we
were both doing
nitrous balloons...
<{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add
<{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation
and then we both
looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman
who was painted
from head to toe as a cheetah...
<{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was
hallucinating...and then she
walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have
some of your
ballooon"
<{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went
zinnning around,....
<{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and
another one...

<blazemore> these japanese guys walked up to me and my friend
and started talking to us
<blazemore> and asking which bands we like
<blazemore> so we started naming some off but they hadn't
heard of any of them
<blazemore> then i'm like "uh... guns 'n roses"
<blazemore> and they're all "oh yes, we like them very much!"
<ScumDog> you should've whistled "patience" to them
<ScumDog> as a universal message of love
<ScumDog> it transcends the spoken word

<Wilco> [29.3%] 1986|||6770: World Currencies: Vietnam
<MiNTiE_> rice

<+fury> i envy cary... he's half my age and gets access to all
the goodies :/
<@Chen> How old are you?
<+fury> 18

<RetardedCrow> Crap, I put the head phones in, and I here
"Anal beads, whatever. Now you can get realistic animal
genitals. How bout a kangaroo penis?"

<Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read
all the articles online...
<Soda_Tab> period.
<spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you
to read on the shitter

<ILuvChitlins> listen buddy you had best stop trying to hack
people with your script kiddie ways
<ILuvChitlins> or someone might get pissed off and ban you
from the internet
<Arsvith> Remind me again. You know /how/ much about
computers?

(Mac01) kodEblak: I wanna see your naked ass
(kodEblak) mac: the closest thing you'll get to my ass..is me
farting in your direction.

tavilach: i could just block you now
tavilach: and never
tavilach: talk to u again
tavilach: but no
tavilach: i need help with samba
CzarDerivative: you asshole

<jimiw> billy put on channel 10
<jimiw> too late
<Evil_One> w00t!
<Evil_One> I don't have to get up!

<@tumult> m what is this piano girls obsession
<@piano_girl_man> tumult cute girls who play the piano
<@tumult> piano_girl_man and what reference are you basing
this on
<@Hiryu> elton john

<tobester> woah FIRE
<tobester> bbiab

<FishNetGirl> guess what I haveeee....
<KrackWhores> mountain dew?
<FishNetGirl> mmhm, yup.
<KrackWhores> well guess what I have
<FishNetGirl> mountain dew?
<KrackWhores> no
<KrackWhores> a penis
<FishNetGirl> i know
<FishNetGirl> er...

*** Master_Hacker ([email protected]) has joined
channel #2600
<Master_Hacker> hi all
<buo> HI MASTER HACKER
<Master_Hacker> hi
<buo> DO YOU HAVE GIBSON TEKNIQ ?
<Master_Hacker> no
<Master_Hacker> hang on
<Master_Hacker> ...
<Master_Hacker> ill check

geekgirl [[email protected]] has joined #megatokyo
<TheRiff> "ill never sleep with another woman ive never met
before again!"
<geekgirl> Whoops
<Mephisto> O.o
<TheRiff> and then they realize they said woman and meant man,
and rethink their whole life
<TheRiff> since she has a mustache, its confusing
<geekgirl> Now that is a weird conversation to come to.

<L-3-3-7>  i want to dump my gf
<L-3-3-7>  i need to find a good way to do it
<sparc^_>  maybe you could DoS her... or install back orifice
on her box

<Teratogen> 1) cubic zirconium ring, 2) marriage will take
place at the Justice of the Peace (janitor can be witness)
<Teratogen> 3) reception at McDonald's, 4) honeymoon at my
apartment
<Teratogen> if she doesn't like that, screw her.

<Hedge> yeah, loud music during sex really works. it's easy to
keep the motion to a beat
<Kharnifex> mmmm yeah, but i'd have to get more fit to have
sex again
<TRIPtych> «WinAmp» Now Playing: Funker Vogt - Word of Power
(High Speed Mix)
<TRIPtych> id like to see u keep up to this hedge =p
<Kharnifex> *gets rectinol*
<TRIPtych> d00f d00f d00f
<Kharnifex> and the slapping noise of testical against ass
<Hedge> i think i saw the How To video of that
<Kharnifex> i just dloaded the pdf file

<Slack> *sigh* yes sir. **kneels** ((lol))
<MaximumMango> > ((lol)) <--- doesn't that look kinky in an
ascii sort of way?
<Dest> Yes.
<Dest> It looks like something I'd like to put my penis in.

<bladezero> Hey guys, i need u to help me solve the porblem i
got
<zefer> k, shoot
<bladezero> well i really like this girl and i want to impress
her should i buy her a rose?
<zefer> lol, if u wana say u like her with a rose all ure
saying is "I'm cheap"
<bladezero> o shit, should i buy her a bouquet then?
<zefer> no cuz then she'll think ure just trying to buy her
over
<bladezero> then what do i do damnit, this is like the first
girl ive ever really liked
<zefer> buy her some chocolates. U cant go wrong with
chocolates, i say when in doubt look to the chocolate.
<bladezero> ok thanks man bye :)
<majinTB> uhh u sure thats a good motto to live by?
<zefer> no ha ha but hes gonna fatten this girl up real nice
and then he'll either 1) dump her or 2) she'll get desperate
and settle with a loser like him who can't even deal with what
to get a girl on a date.
<zefer> way to "let your heart decide."
<majinTB> ha ha yea what a dumbass

<Nev|Away> When did I pick on you, you ugly little horrible
turd?
<Nev|Away> Give me your lunch money.

<MY3K> someone kick my2k.
* Midknight kicks MY2K
* MY2K has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
<Midknight> there
<Midknight> see? it worked!! ^^

<lasereyes> im looking at that dazzle mpeg2.. but its like 350
bucks
<finneas> can you put a price on quality piracy?

(f`CNK) so lets say im driving
(f`CNK) and sum1 yells in my fucking ear
(f`CNK) i wont lose concentration man
(f`CNK) neither would u!
(f`CNK) we are like superman
(Alchemeron) superman doesn't drive a car, you fucking idiot,
he can fly

<shoe_> when i watched the two towers the other day... it hit
me ddenly
<shoe_> WHERE THE HELL ARE THE BLACK PEOPLE?

<diminishe> Anyone wanna help me debug some code?
<PreZ> diminishe, do you have a specific problem?
<diminishe> well, its more like pseudo code

[adam_tharrington] yo
[adam_tharrington] does anyone here have a keyboard

<Apocolypse> you know, id be into this stuff if i was about 15
years younger.... im 13

<WOGBOY_24_7> hey what is windows 98 called = Windows NT4.0 or
Windows 9x

·Jocelyn32· I would like to chat with single a English girl,
SMART and slim (even if its scarce). Those who are STUPIDS,
have several children from different fathers and/or don't
work, please don't come to see me I AM NOT INTEREST IN YOU. Me
I have a good look, gentle and funny
·Jocelyn32· In brief...
·Jocelyn32· I m searching for an English girl who sucks,
swallows, says thank you and then takes a taxi

[assman] if you wouldnt fuck brad pitt then you're gay

<sabo> i hate it when there's no toilet paper in the house.
<sabo> cause then i have to wipe my ass with maxi pads.

<Ac3d> ima redneck now...Chevy sent a magazine to my house
under the name Bob Jones

<KINGofEXTREME> alligators are male crocdiles

JasonMD325: hold up im workin support
JasonMD325: lemme finish this guy

<louis> just by me being near him he nearly burst his
vasectomy stitches

<Alman> Stacy's mom has got it goin' on, ooh yeah...
<Tyrillis> U see the video for that
<Tyrillis> Her mom is pretty hot
<Alman> yea
<Alman> stacy's not too bad
<Alman> either
Tyrillis> :P
<Alman> but she's like 10
<Alman> so that sucks

<Spooky> HOLY FUCK
<Spooky> Send her my way when your done
<Anton> will do
<Spooky> I'll knock the mascara off that
<Spooky> Two little black circles on the wall next to the bed

<cHEMx> anyone got any clue where to find kids games?
<Zoogle> seducing the wee lil' ones again, eh cHEMx?

<+dilema> that sucked
<@corr> what happened
<+dilema> I spilled coke all over my keyboard
<+dilema> so now i got sticky keys
<+dilema> NO... it's from the coke i swear
<@Lisa[NY]> uh huh
<@corr> haha
<creature> That's what they all say...
<+dilema> please when i am in pr0n mode I bust out the syran
wrap to protect my keys
<+dilema> i know better

<namesis> HELLO GUYS SPEAK ME ASS HOLES PLEASE AND FAST OR I
LEAVE

<Samantha> What bird was named for what was wrongly thought to
be its country of origin?
<Kevyn> Turkey
<Samantha> Kev is da man
<Kevyn> It was either that or the Mexican

<aeth> i don't remember any skullfucking in bladerunner

<wolfwork> her zip drive was broken because HSE HAD NO ZIP
DISK TO PUT IN IT
<NOCKY> that's just poor design, isn't it
<NOCKY> (is what the dumby guy here says whenever computers
dont work for him because hes dumb)