bash.org archive

[ ctr] damn the sun is really bright

<+LagSucks> the other day i downloaded korean porn because i
was curious as i've never seen it
<+LagSucks> and the men all had smaller members than i did
<+Zulehan> that's how it starts, lag.
<+LagSucks> i thought to myself, 'wow, that's a first'

<jillium> oh, yeah, I think I remember that site.  Literary
criticism and essays, right?
<anomaly> heh, well it was a personal site about a teen
wanting a boob job.

*Lilmuckers is the official sega ho
*Lilmuckers has official sega ho powers
*Heroin_Bob is the official Sega Pimp
*Heroin_Bob slaps lil
Heroin_Bob- get back to work ho!

<Devon_Lake> Ya, but if you slap a kid around for being a
brat, your'e evil.  Slice of part of his wang and they'll
cannonise you.

<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail# man how to get laid
<mindfuck> No manual entry for how
<mindfuck> No manual entry for to
<mindfuck> No manual entry for get
<mindfuck> No manual entry for laid
<mindfuck> root@black-jes:/etc/mail#
<mindfuck> <|:]
<Nikita> sucks
<Nikita> see if there is an RFC for that
<Nikita> maybe a mini HOW-TO or something...

<LuminousPath> somebody after with the main envi'-boy it has
the recovery;) 
<LuminousPath> I have succeeded in confusing them all.
<LuminousPath> Now, in the confusion, I shall cause an
overload in the main mIRC hub.
<LuminousPath> This will cause horendous bottlenecks,
netsplits and profile colapses
<LuminousPath> In the confusion, I shall route all
transmissions through Area 51.
<LuminousPath> This will overload their main servers, causing
them to have a netsplit
<LuminousPath> I shall repeat this process thosands of times
over...
<YusukeUrameshi> LuminousPath: you do not know much of IRC do
you?

<oDDY> did u take a picture :(
<oDDY> of ur new shirt :(
<OoROng> nah
<rcg> your shirt won't be new by then
<rcg> so you can't take a picture of it
<OoROng> it'll still be semi-new :D
<OoROng> technically, i'vehad it like a month
<OoROng> but i haven't had the balls to wear it out
<rcg> what's it say?
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
<OoROng> VVVVVVVVVVV
<oDDY> ...
<OoROng> it's a fishnet shirt
<oDDY> ooo!
<oDDY> sexy X_x
<rcg> oh

<ToolKid> I have a 1 inch pen0r. And that's after a 3 inch
extension

crazycougr: saw rick james died?
phaded 001: yup
crazycougr: 'natural causes'
phaded 001: wonder what chappelle is gonna do now
crazycougr: cocaine is natural isnt it?

<pthree_> oh, my stupid t1 is having issues
* RichiH asks himself if having a private T1 is the heigth of
geekdomn, or if it is the ultimate of saying "i got no rl
friends"
<Seker> RichiH: It'll be the height of geekdom if you max it
out with warez.
<RichiH> Seker: if you max it out with warez, it's a way of
saying "i am 13, have no friends, use windows and need a good
poke in the eyes. besides, i got no firends, neither rl nor
vr"

*** Now Talking in #TavernOfGor
*** Eskimo has joined #TavernOfGor
*Eskimo* just play along.  These guys are freaky
<LordMar> Welcome to my Tavern.
<elsa{Mar}> May I bring you a drink Master Cruentus?
<Cruentus> a Ka la na will be fine, thank you.
*Eskimo* It's a drink I think lol
<elsa{Mar}> Master Eskimo, may I serve you as well?
<Eskimo> Sure I'll just have a beer
*** LordMar sets mode: +b *!*@*.acl.mr.au
*** LordMar has kicked Eskimo from #TavernOfGor (LordMar)

<pc> eating + mircing
<pc> screams "i'm a fat loser"
<lfadk> but we all knew that

<cosyc> i dont drunk much either

iHeartDonKnotts: I just got a prank call from http://
whitepages.com/search/Reverse_Phone?npa=313&phone=3430570
iHeartDonKnotts: Showed up on caller ID
iHeartDonKnotts: And then internet saved the day
iHeartDonKnotts: I'm gonna letterbomb the place
Verl Is BOSS: what did they say
iHeartDonKnotts: I called back and said "Hi, I just got a call
from this number... Who the fuck are you and why are you
calling Southern California for a prank call?"
Verl Is BOSS: owned?
iHeartDonKnotts: Probably!

<Sumez> Echythus is just a weak wizard. He doesn't want to
retake the world.
<Sumez> He doesn't even have the power to enslave all humans.
<Twilo> Hitler didn't have magice powers but he took Poland.

<random-strike> loli'm sittingina  computer lab, and i gotta
let one go
<Zoogle> walk over to the printer slowly, let 'er rip on the
way there
<Zoogle> and take a differant path back to your seat
<random-strike> let it go by as many ppl as i can
<Zoogle> therefore the putrid stench will be evenly spread out
<random-strike> it'll follow me back
<Zoogle> jiggle your ass so no one notices

<Tw1zt1d> I need to do some DDR practice >;\
<Minion> WTF? I always thought DDR was Double Date Rape

<DireBadger> Public Enemy in effect @ Nation, 9/19
<DireBadger> one of the bands playing with them is
"Blackalicious"
<argent> Blackalicious is pretty good
<DireBadger> argent: are they like a De la Soul type band?
<argent> DireBadger: yes, in that they are black.

<lerk> yeah, fat girls are fun sometimes
<lerk> especially doggie style
<fate-> slap em and ride the waves

<Toen> I'm downloading a movie called anal training! :o
* Etir recommends...
<Etir> ...'cancel'

<Moses> I'm a Pepsi man, myself
<Zorbo> eww
<Zorbo> pepsi is like the mac of the soft drink world

<jcarle> BangBus is a standard that all us real men should
measure ourselves up to.
<jcarle> Well, maybe not, but it'd sure be cool to do the same
thing and have it work for us for once.
<chaind> lol

<droptone> the only afterlife is if a necrophilac gets ahold
of you

<Christy> People who talk in metaphors outta shampoo my
crotch.
<FL3A|afk> people who shampoo crotches outta shave

<j03bl0w> Is it wrong to touch yourself when things like Miss
Teen USA are on?
<|SeveN|> j03bl0w: no.
* j03bl0w touches himself in places with lots of nerve endings

<Eclipse> at least they don't taste like yellow listerine
<Eclipse> that stuff is horrible
<skold> 'ear wax flavor'
<Eclipse> that doesn't begin to describe it
<Eclipse> it's like ear wax dissolved in a mixture of gasoline
and urine

<hitman> I need a girl that doesn't drink
<RageFury> hitman: Then how the hell are you gonna slip her
that rufie?  On her juicy juice box?

<fredrik> i once slipped while wanking
<fredrik> hurt my head badly

* phoen][x hears 'Sounds of /dev/urandom' (dd if=/dev/urandom
of=/dev/dsp)

<@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys
think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses

<KrayZie> you know what pisses me off
<KrayZie> all those damn contests that offer as their grand
prizes and all expenses paid vacation to hawaii.
<KrayZie> funny part is, contests in hawaii offer that as
their prizes as well

<Skyphox> ahhh shoot, my spelling script has disapeared again

* Lolita_ ([email protected]) has joined #12-15yrz
<Lolita_> hello is everyone from 12 to 15?

<dra-> hey shit eaters
<insta> penis up in your face
<insta> smacking your face
<insta> you love it
<dra-> ATTN GHEY NIGGERS
<dra-> uh
<insta> that picture was hilarious
<dra-> uh sure
<insta> it's nasty as hell but it doesn't bother me
<insta> some people just aren't secure in their sexuality
<dra-> i just promptly close
<Minion> After reviewing the last 10 or 12 lines typed I've
come to the conclusion that this channel is the intellectual
center of the universe.

<Sh0t> i'll be honest
<Sh0t> I'd fuck Calista Flockhart
<tjommi> is that possible?
<tjommi> my dick is fatter than her
<Phalanx`> you might break her
<Phalanx`> be careful there
<xylol> who cares
<Sh0t> she gained weight
<Sh0t> if you've seen her recently
<DeathVipr> after you blow your load in her, her weight
doubles
<tjommi> id like to see that
<tuffguy> lol dv
<tjommi> LOL

<Ronwe> I think I've done one of the evillest things
imaginable
<Ronwe> in my twins search I came across faked olsen twin porn
<D`mer> what?
<D`mer> ick
<Ronwe> I downloaded them
<Ronwe> so I went into channels on IRC the other night and
said..
<Ronwe> If anybody is interested in some decent faked celeb
pron to /msg me
<Ronwe> those who messaged me got olsen twin porn
<Ronwe> I'm banned from about 20 rooms in dalnet now
* Ronwe grins evilly
<D`mer> lol

<unswornangel> naw, i will just throw it back at you. . . doc
<sportsdoc> good i love a battle of wits.. i feel like you are
the afgans and I am the US though.
<unswornangel> what? how so?
<sportsdoc> I rest my case

<WhitePony> whats the fastest way to loose 20 kg? except going
to the docs........
<Mousey-brb> cut your fucking head off Marina.

<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> I like my terror-inducing weapons of
mass destruction to have practical combat uses as well.

(WHW-Rob): i need to make a shirt.... "You're so much sexier
when you just SHUT UP!"

<Phil> i always have fun when 11 inches is involved

[someone] my dad just called me. My mom just pred a baby! My
brother is fucking 0sec now
[someone] is away: to the hospital

<@xvize> xwin is like an os

<rTc|teDz> Thursday, Practice
<rTc|teDz> Everyone can make it ?
<rTc|miao> i can
<rTc|Teatime> i was planning to invite a whore, but i guess
clan matter are more important than my sex life

<crazycaleb> cmon ham :( youre one of my favorites
<Hamzifer> favorites?
<Hamzifer> I dunno if i'm that 'important'.
<crazycaleb> your name makes me think of hamtaro, that might
be why
<Hamzifer> ..your a sick little man.

<Cducharme> My penis has nice settings!
<Dr_DOS> YES
<Dr_DOS> Sidewinner

<andy> Everything is a euphemism for masturbation.
<aegis> especially "gently stroking Byn's monster cock while
akumapan watches"

<wolfstg> I stopped watching wrestling when i got gay.

<Beck-Fan> are we so desprit for petty entertanment (roms)
that wa suck up to these people that think there gods because
they spent 24/7 on there computors

<mdl> i think nec uses aperture grille tubes
<mdl> and mitsu
<mdl> yeah
<AlmtyBob> there ar ea few I believe
<RevMarcus> afaik nec and mitsumi both do invar shadow mask
<AlmtyBob> if I wasn't masturbating I'd look on the back of my
monitor and tell you

<ZioB> I hate clipping my nails, its hard to pick my nos

(niles) just uncomment #UseBlackMarketBabySales yes in /etc/
ssh/sshd_config

<aum> real hackers don't use Mozilla, they don't even use
links or lynx
<aum> *real* hackers surf the web with 'telnet somehost.com
80'

<My3blKa> bizee go get your vacum and imagination.
<andro> I've heards its bad to do that w/ a vacuum
<supreemball> it hurts

<v33n> ok skep is gone mad, he is stabbing him self now
*** v33n sets mode: +b *!*@d226-65-122.home.cgocable.net
*** v33n was kicked by v33n (i'll unban you when you sleep)

<astrOdz> shouldn't you be at chruch?
<nistor> no lol
<astrOdz> you choose bsd over god?
<nistor> hrm hard choice
<astrOdz> well there is a devil on one side :)

<Upth> AvatarADV: Having scripts is an advantage over having
to do it by ear.
<AvatarADV> Yeah, in the same way as having your -wife-
gang-raped is an advantage because you don't have to
impregnate her yourself, I guess...

<_Nor> I can spell, I just choose not to

icecubes32: i don't like small tvs
icecubes32: i have to squint
fromullins: you are always squinting
fromullins: you're chinese

<@Chimerasame> pancake bukkake :9
<@Chimerasame> it's just syrup from a bunch of aunt jemima
bottles

<daniel> Scoobi Doo == communist regime funded propaganda used
to infiltrate capitalist pop-culture to instill a low rate
change in american ideals, they always said they'd take us
over without firing one gun

< CryptoCat> fucking oracle.
< CryptoCat> rhymes with horrible
< CryptoCat> I probably wouldnt hate it so much if Elison
wasnt such a nutjob.
< siglite> well, at least HE hates bill
< siglite> so that's some consolation
< CryptoCat> I dunno man
< CryptoCat> stalin hated hitler
< Kornchild> stalin was worse then hitler in many ways
< CryptoCat> yeah
< CryptoCat> hitler didnt want to buy Peoplesoft.

«@rewobo» how do i reset my bios memory?
«@sh0ck_SMU» pull the bios chip!
«@sh0ck_SMU» then put it back in
«@sh0ck_SMU» while the computer is running
«@sh0ck_SMU» you have to time it right though!!
«@sh0ck_SMU» or else you'll fry something
«@rewobo» blah!
«@rewobo» i just bend one of those bios chip!
«@rewobo» legs
«@buzz» rofl!!!
«@sh0ck_SMU» HAHAHAHAHH
«@rewobo» what's wrong wit pulling the bios chip?
«@buzz» YOU DONT PULL OUT BIOS CHIPS
«@buzz» THEY STAY ON THE MOBO FOR LIFE!@
«@rewobo» oopz!
«@rewobo» no wonder it's so fuken tight!

<Entrope> !8ball would you please get your dick out of
Rossell's ass?
<ChanServ>  Entrope : No.
<Rossell> awww shit, he's gonna superglue it
<Rossell> Arg! Now we're gonna have to walk around like this
<DrMagus> lol
<Rossell> we're Siamese twins
<Rossell> ChanServ YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

(killjoy) adora; still. women have things like continous
orgasm, multiple orgasms, etc etc... i'm sure something's
bound to trigger.
(Adora) not if you're good
(Adora) i mean, really good. If you had teh skillz.
(killjoy) i'd rather give her a multiple orgasm then one big
one ;p
(mibi-drunk-on-life) id settle for a light moan
(Adora) i suppose you could kill a hour or so with some (now
legal) texan buttsex and master/slave play...
(mibi-drunk-on-life) adora can i pm you?

<Zorix> fuckin sob.. one of utelfla's routers is down
<Zorix> i only got half the internet

The_Dv8or: damnit
The_Dv8or: I was in my Jersey office today, waiting for a file
to download
The_Dv8or: theyre separate from my company domain... I was
bored, and I know they dont monitor Web surfing, and I was on
my personal laptop, so I started surfing porn
The_Dv8or: then I just realized.... I had my corporate domain
VPN connected the whole time

<LT1-Twitch> Wait wait, one minute, I wanna see this. You can
hold on to me and rape me all you want just let me see this!