bash.org archive

<MiniMizer> god damn it
<MiniMizer> my hands are freezing
<MiniMizer> I think I should wank right now
<MiniMizer> bbl

<psil0gik> is loving computers considered a symptom ?
<rewben> no a cure

-SandNET- press, the like whole end, or are you just
exagerating a big ass cut
-SandNET- oops, just talked to 300 users

<@BlackOps> i dont know if my friend was joking or not
<@BlackOps> but today he was talking about this matrix porn or
something with people flying, fighting and having sex
<@BlackOps> on kazaa
<@BlackOps> imma try to find it
<Rigel> LOL
<@BlackOps> success!

<Volksweasel> how odd...everyone appears to be...DEAD!!
* Volksweasel runs away screaming!
<Corin> hmm thats the way the thriller video turns out isnt
it?

<[IX|BoW]WaCKy-Angel-[GP]> can some1 constantly mesg me in
ICQ? coz my connection will only move if i receive icq mesg

<GSValore> basic VMS system I configured a moment ago from
compaq was like $33,000US
<GenmaC> haha
<GenmaC> "hmmm...get a car...get a VMS box...get a car...get a
VMS box..."

<n0On3> LeftTurn, what is a 'n00b'?
<NRAninja> you

<wangsta`> goddamnit
<wangsta`> im gonna end up being that guy on tv that used the
Date Rape drug to get with some prom queen
<Juste> Good for you~
<wangsta`> thats bad
<Juste> Use femcream while you;re at it :?P
<wangsta`> i want sex, but i dont want it from inmates

<+stray> Somehow, i cant get behind a prophet named JOE SMITH
<+krispy> hahaha
<+krispy> i can't get behind any
<+stray> the catholic church spent many years getting behind
ME (if you know what I mean *wink*)

<JanetBabe> love is the answer
<Weather> What was the question?
<DulRiff> what is 6 times 9?
<JanetBabe> how many angels can fuck on the head of a pin?

UFO19M: it is my goal to be stared at like a dog that's just
been shown a card trick

<daenonok> they should make a programming language for pron in
shareware progs
<daenonok> so when your work, or family runs an xxx scan prog
on your bitch, you come up clean
<FURI0U5> ur work or girlfriend ran a pr0n chexxor on yo comp?
<daenonok> no, but last night i had a bad dream =[

[ Lil_Dude ] i just met mr squeaky!
[ dex-o ] finally find your cock ?

Hohn Junter: I'd give up a rib for a compliant female partner
who didn't know she was naked, and who'd happily share the
fruit...
Hohn Junter: heck, lemme give up 2, to stay even!

<Antioch> CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.

[10:30] <nuna> I backed up a load of dot files on floppies,
and an airline scanner screwed every one

<justinfinity> h2odragon, a deja vu is a glitch in the scoop
<justinfinity> rusty changed something

<blue-mecha> uh oh, interoffice sexual policy has been
violated

<narby-away> fucking stoners
<narby-away> get high on life lol!
<Rottencrotch> lol
<Rottencrotch> no we have to get high BECAUSE of life

<efm> I'm sorry tbc, but I'm not interested in arguing with
you. I prefer to argue with people who have some understanding
of the way arguments are conducted.
<tbc> Ouch.
<tbc> And only a few days after jafo stabbed me in the face
over the Internet. :-)
<efm> that was rude of him.
<jafo> It was a FRIENDLY stab in the face over the Internet.

<wild> 8ball is madhatter gay?
<Alice1> It says 'Obviously,' wild

<StrScream> there is definitely not NEARLY enough dick being
licked.

<@Lum_> 128 mb is enough
<@Lum_> it's fucking enough for microsoft dev studio
<@da_slog> NO IT ISNT STFU NEWB
<@Lum_> I think it's enough for my TANK GAME

<Obliterat> do you have a fast connection or are you just fast
at typing?

<pubatch> any idea how to find out a phones phone number?
<pubatch> i cant call my regular line, my parents are in bed
* verve thinks
<pubatch> its not written on the machine, or on the phone it
goes to either
<verve> i know, just call the operator and ask :P
<pubatch> hah, 'where am i!?'

<@PkLvKimZz> Remember to wash: Colon, socks, tshirts

<firefacks> cout << "hello" << endl;
<CoccaFukuda> printf("Sup");
<firefacks> Console.WriteLine("not much");
<sjmulder> ObjectFactory.Resolve<IGreeter>().Invoke();

<@MooMooCow> what state you live in?
<@waffl0r> indiana
<@waffl0r> you can come here and the numbnuts in the KKK will
burn you on a cross, even if you are white, dumb bastards are
too inbred to tell the difference anymore
<@waffl0r> the idiots here are still too dumb to know the
difference between mangos and green peppers :P

<Yomanman> you know, the only thing stopping me from killing
hotmail is this Dance Dance Revolution music

<chabo> have you guys ever noticed that quite a few of the
quotes on bash.org deal with people who go on IRC and tell
everyone about it when something major happens, rather than do
what they should, which is usually go to the hospital?

* Hugahay is like a deer in headlights
<Entrak> Stupid enough to see it coming?

<stank> but copying data to a floppy disk and back makes it
lose integrity! like dubbing a tape!

<generic> but ive decided to switch this lappy to mandrake
instead of linux

[:: The_Brain] --> ppp9-2.aquanet.co.il
[:: riksta] --> leet dialup
[:: riksta] --> i feer u
[:: The_Brain] --> its a vhost that makes you *think* its a
dialup
[:: The_Brain] --> its actually an oc-48
[:: riksta] --> oc48 in isreal dont make me laugh
[:: riksta] --> u barely got electricity

<_Bas> how come cars only have 4/5 gears?
<_Bas> if they make like overdrive on an overdrive
<_Bas> would you get much much gas mileage?

* Elysian changes topic to 'Metallica is the best thing to
happen to pop since Micheal Jackson'

<`Jamesy> i saw this old guy buy doom3 today
<`Jamesy> as he's buying it the shop assistant asks him what
kinda pc/video card he has
<`Jamesy> and he mutters something about 32mb
<`Jamesy> and the assistant says it wont run and that he needs
a new card with at least 128mb
<`Jamesy> and then the twit says
<`Jamesy> but it runs doom 2 ok!!!!!!

<Ljung> does IRC take scripts?
<Ljung> <SCRIPT language="JavaScript">
<Ljung> damn

* BlazeHedgehog is playing through Links Awakening right now
as we speak; for the first time
<Arrow> FIRST TIME?!
<BlazeHedgehog> I've owned the game for two years; I was just
really lazy about it.  But now I've gotten into the habit of
taking my GBC in with me when I go to take a crap. :B
<Arrow> Those must be long dumps if you got all the way to
Dungeon 7 off of it

<ChRIs_84> what up people...i just got ps2 today, i wanna know
how to make games...is itthe same way as dc games?
<Turing1> yuo hook up your PS 2 to a Car Battery with jumper
cables, then pop in thegame turn the unit on and  you'll have
the game play evperience of your life...or death

<DigDug> heh... what the hell is a rimjob?

<Direw0lf> Sauki get some gerbils
<Direw0lf> i've been told they're all sorts of fun
<KhamulPPC> Especially with the optional extra of a microwave
<Direw0lf> hehe
<Sauki> gerbils?
<KhamulPPC> You got something against gerbils?
<Direw0lf> add helium and you've got gerbiloons
<Sauki> i'm sure they taste good
<Sauki> but i'm never sure what sauce to put with them

<Conny> Hello
<Conny> Someone who feel like talkin' ?
<Aristotles> Conny: male or female?
<Conny> i`m male
* Aristotles 's interest fades fast

<@[DO]-Fury-SLeep> fuck yes 
<@[DO]-Fury-SLeep> my ace of base is done downloading

<Roberto> My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally
uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

<N715DP> yeah, no kidding
<N715DP> me - actually buying a MS OS
<N715DP> hell hath frozen over
<eggs_> guess I need to go find Jesus

<Juridian> 'You have reached the 1-800-HACKERS tech support
line, all of our operators are currently busy.  Please leave
your IP, username and password at the beep and we'll get right
back to you....'  *beeeeeep*
* The-Rev is calling 1-800-HACKERS
<The-Rev> brb
<The-Rev> Bet its some sort of adult line

TagDN: 20 min to install
TagDN: 30 sec to delete
TagDN: gotta love m$

<DigitalChaos> ifi eightball shows up, tell him i'm lookin for
him :p
* Quits: DigitalChaos
<acid88> do i look like aol instant messenger to you?

<e1f> would you like to touch my .emacs?
<e1f> it's really big

<Mazlem> was it on a gravestone?
<cranky> I've always avoided sex after funerals
<l0g1c> nah, it was in her room.
<cranky> generally the bodies are too cold by then
<TxcPoison> thats what microwaves are for
<l0g1c> hah, beat me to it.
<TxcPoison> wow
<l0g1c> just warm the important part up.

Shamp00kiE: i have to draw lots
Shamp00kiE: of boring stuff
Shamp00kiE: well boring people
Shamp00kiE: i dont like drawing people i know. im always
afarid ill fuck up and i ususally do
ECBoots84: Anything specific?
Shamp00kiE: 2 portraits of friends or family, and 2 sitting
poses of friends and crap
ECBoots84: Ooooh...fun
Shamp00kiE: yeah
Shamp00kiE: i dont want to hear "why do i look like crap?! you
think i look like crap!! oh god im ugly!" and then crying
afterwards
ECBoots84: I guess you're not the only one in your social
circle who overreacts then
Shamp00kiE: i dont really have one, so i was just projecting
myself if i was being drawn i guess
Shamp00kiE: *shrug*

<Skate> I believe in god as much as I believe in a world
without porn...

<dean`> LunaRain: i can rape myself any time without going to
prison

<Ktulu> Bob, so far - my day in this "everyday life" has
consisted of waking up, having breakfast, playing games... and
cracking jokes at your expense over IRC

<p13-om1kron> wtg, my mom is all like, "clean room, mess, now"
<BX|AnarchE> tell her if she sucks your cock, you'll consider
it
<BX|AnarchE> that'll keep her on her toes

<SDHawk> cool in a homosexual way
<OneiWilly> cool!
<Sivako> thats where i'm a superstar!

<SAV2880> Ok, my point ... who the hell cares about the ZD
bank account (as long as it's not -$5 million or something!)
<SwampGas> SAV2880: the 10 people who support emuchrist
<SwampGas> and it's my duty as owner of ztnet, owner of
retrogames, owner of cps2 decryption tables to alert them

<sh-> i can get myself banned, thank you very much
<ohdiesel> sh-: just stick your hands in the olive tray
<sh-> my idea involves indecent exposure and deli meat

<CreQ> a lot of millitary interragaters are psychologists 
<thecatisold> and a lot of priests are massage therapists

<poo_al> A friend of mine once went to a public toilet for a
dump and found to his horror that the last person in there had
wiped their arse with the toilet paper while still leaving it
attached to the roll and then wound it back up out of sight.
So as well as getting it on his hand, my friend accidentally
wiped his arse with someone else's shit GROSS!

icbm: hah
icbm: my entourage is coming over
icbm: I'm gonna go ahead and give them their christmas
presents
icbm: I bought my 3 hoes vibrators
kuruption: uh
kuruption: you mean your "friends"
kuruption: and the 3 girls who wont let you touch them.. but
hang out with you cuz you're friends with the guy who gets
them their weed

<Lowbrow> She needs an ass fucking
<rooster> shes 60
<Lowbrow> oh.
<PamelaPeaks> ...

<Graey> aw hell yeah.  the olsen twins in bikinis
<Sasquatch> Pervert!... url?
<Graey> newsgroups
<Sasquatch> bleh

<wabb1t> no war yet... don't start it while i'm in the shower,
k plz thx

<@Vacorsis> The universe is racist
<@Vacorsis> At night you can see thousands of stars, and none
of them are black
<@Vacorsis> That's just total bullshit

<@LoneWo|f> once the divorce is final...i'm getting
snipped...and if spermicide didn't taste so bad...i'd kiss
condoms goodbye!

<Yaleman> omg.. you should see a netsplit / join on a warez
channel with over 3000 people in it... intense
<Yaleman> OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
<Yaleman> it's like a rollercoaster ride man