bash.org archive

(h0va) i could fill any IT job now.. and do well.. from my
home computer
experiance.. but i would never get hired cuz i have no
credentials
(cranky) h0va: dude you couldn't fill a toilet bowl

<DigiBree> my uncle once took a huge length of dental floss
and i asked him what he was doin with it...and he said he was
going to floss between his bum cheeks......then he went into
the bathroom :/
<Rake> lol thats just fucked :P

<Angelic> man who catch fly with chopsticks ... should eat in
different restaraunt!

<fronn> smurf gestation is probably like... 48 years...

<@Slasher1> on the subject of porn, it seems like JT has been
'away' for a fair while

<imminent> clean keyboard
<imminent> yesss
<edible> you desemenized it?
<edible> let some cum hungry slut lick the shit out of your
keyboard?

<MynDwun> this fat girl with 5 chins waved at me and I almost
cried before puking

ilovelickinstamp: i had all the answers to my history final
today
ilovelickinstamp: and you know how you never want to get an A+
ilovelickinstamp: well i kept saying to myself
ilovelickinstamp: ok you can miss that one
ilovelickinstamp: and i lost count
ilovelickinstamp: and i ended up getting an 80%
ilovelickinstamp: i wouldve gotten a better score without the
answers!
YaMoMsLova: dude...
YaMoMsLova: thats ridiculous mike

<JDonne> yeah... i remember when i was a teenager, .268193
years ago
<chikster> ur 18.268194 I assume

<etiolate> vegas is just like the internet
<etiolate> porn everywhere
<etiolate> and open all night

<Valqorez> I didn't even get laid
<Valqorez> but there's always tomoromw
<McCormick> won't happend
<McCormick> you"'l have a headache
<Valqorez> Nope - I dont have hangovers
<Daedalus> you're going about it wrong
<Daedalus> YOU getting drunk won't get you laid
<Daedalus> getting the girl drunk will get you laid :)

<bunyip> if you can put yourself in situations where you meet
new people that won't hurt
<SporkAndrew> ...become a cult leader
<Lethe> you'll definitely meet some desperate people there :p
<SporkAndrew> just make sure you get them to drink the
poisoned kool-aid first... then they're all fair game...

(WAREZmunkeY) omg some1 has pushed a condom through our
letterbox
(datafreak) lol
(datafreak) used? :P
(WAREZmunkeY) i dunno
(WAREZmunkeY) i havent been to look that close at it
(Noodle[AFK]) well presumably it's unpackaged
(WAREZmunkeY) it is
(james) lmao

Scouthouse: king kong was a good movie
elcucarachaloco: an AWESOME movie
elcucarachaloco: only one better is return of the king
Scouthouse: never seen it
elcucarachaloco: awesome movie
Scouthouse: but how can he return when hes dead?

*** Signoff: dejay (Quit: If you throw a cat out of the car
window, does it become kitty litter?)

<calgar> haha that's true. i beleve it's like 30% sweedish
users on dalnet
<Cola-Kattn> yes, and the other 70% is playing counter-strike

<@Winternight> helloween sucks
<@Winternight> well, now they suck, they used to rule
<@Argoth> never really listened to em
<@DIABOLICAL> I wish I could've listened to them back when I
was in grade school
<@Argoth> why?
<@DIABOLICAL> well, I thought Janet Jackson was "black metal"
back then

<[YG]Vagabond> shilf i want you to touch my trouser trout
<Saddles|ihid> only if you touch my ankle spanker first

<Khalal> I never did understand that quote NG
<NintendoGuru> Khalal: That's because you haven't seen a
picture of Andrew Vestal
<Khalal> What does he look like?
<NintendoGuru> Think Richard Simmons french kissing and
electrical outlet

<das_das> uhhh god..eww...argh....somehow my playlist just
rolled around to creed
<das_das> wtf do I even have creed on my comp :P
<ApoIIyon> i have creed on mine
<ApoIIyon> they..are..okay if u take away the whole.. WE FUCK
JESUS every night part
<das_das> dude creed is like eating a fine meal, vomiting,
eating the vomit, and vomiting again

<CROC-ANOSTRA> Mort: are you PRO American?
<Mort-Hog> Pro American? I'm no proffessional. Nor am I an
American citizen.

<MidWay> Sounds like me writing a page that had the WinXP
logout exploit..
<MidWay> Friend set it to his desktop before I'd added it (It
did actually have content)
<MidWay> So the next time he logged in and it updated, boom,
it logged him out.
<MidWay> Problem was, he only had the one account on the
machine :P

<BathTub> isn't that your homepage JtHM?
<JtHM> no, mine is www.bathtubsdenofaggotry.com
<BathTub> ah yeah that shrine site you made
<JtHM> worshipping the gayest man alive

* FlipTopBx crosses his fingers
<FlipTopBx> pleeeease snow.  ;-)
<mightyflo> people have stuff to do tomorrow. stuff they've
been looking forward to for a long time. snow would be bad.
<FlipTopBx> oh, that party is tomorrow, isn't it.
<FlipTopBx> where's he live?
<mightyflo> the land of kirk
<FlipTopBx> i'll make arrangements for it not to snow in that
area then

expyro: I loved setting those things that came in the packages
on fire. THey would ignite, then explode. Then on exploded in
my hair. It wasnt funny anymore

<CrushWork> hes got that "im a barbarin caveman who eats
snails and says ooga booga" style look to him
<Jed> "I'm a barbarian caveman that eats snails, says ooga
booga and lays cable for a living"

<Ben> I was talking to someone I know in English class today
about my plans to Linuxize my old PowerMac, he asked "what
kind?" I said "Debian or SuSE", he replies, "Who are Debbie
and Susie?"

< Mennonite> hey docfu
< Mennonite> I had a mindblowing last four days
< Mennonite> did you?
< docfu> Menno well, i had  a headblowing in there too
< docfu> to the point where I started to lose oxygen to my
brain and become eurphoric...
< TenBaseT> docfu: when that happens it's time to loosen the
belt.

<blazemore> *** Now talking in #bemani
<blazemore> *** Topic is '<Orchard-L> i heard it sucks monkey
balls! Monkeys like bananas, kthxgoal'
<blazemore> *** Set by Onic on Fri Nov 10 22:01:07
<blazemore> that kthx thing has gone pretty far
<scar|home> yeah
<scar|home> the emu skene - #EFNet's l33t lingo cradle since
1997!
<scar|home> -# :o
<blazemore> :o

<goatbustar> the church sex scandal: what would jesus do
<goatbustar> turn the other cheek

[During an online Scrabble game]
<Grimp> I'd have to see your rack to actually play them :P
<Grimp> uh no sexual meaning intended :p

Solo Herron: they have some pistols with big calibers
Solo Herron: but if you add barrel length and large caliber
then you have a bad ass pistol that breaks your wrist
Solo Herron: You would have to do lots of pre-emptive
masturbation to get your wrist in shape!

*** Quits: F-D-P (ME AM USA! KTHKX TOUCHDOWN! whatever...)

<@PookHappy> Clinique invisible skin remover
<@PookHappy> for when you really want to show off your
cranium!

* Dark is listening to his roommate play Mike Tyson's
Punch-Out
<Durandal> Dark : Isn't there a bonus level where you can rape
Mike Tyson's wife?

<gcc-> my powerbook is being assembled in taiwan. do they give
people in sweatshops the weekend off?
<Simbill> lmao
<Simbill> prob not
<Simbill> lucky for you
<Simbill> =)

<Robzilla> yeah, you know merc, you should share your gf
<Robzilla> givin im sharin my winxp :)

<ShowDowN> having a formatted drive and a fresh install of
windows is better then the feeling just after youve finsihed
shaving

<blitzoid> My ma got me a copy of PC Gamer'
<blitzoid> I was like "Did you save the receipt?"
<Jarky> haha why?
<ChaosMage> Parents think gamers like those gay gaming mags
<ChaosMage> Makes you wonder who the hell reads 'em
<d0gZpAw> i used to like PC Gamer.. when i was on dialup..
because it was a pain in the ass downloading demos to see
whether a full release is worth 2 days of leech
<blitzoid> "HOW TO MANIPULATE THE CAMERA TO LOOK AT LARA'S
ASS! PLUS: OTHER DIGITAL BOOBS." - Sample from PC Gamer

<destiny> storeobject(mydick,"madbombers\\ass");
<Woohoo> :)
<madbomber> w00t

<AddictArt> "My dad can kill you with his little finger" <-
put that into modern age talk and you get....
<AddictArt> <Mako> you wanna get pingered by a dual 1.7
megabyte modem? and a OC3 line if I call my friend?

twinturbo: hmm, why is my name green on the right?
Swinny0: coz it's teelin you that's YOU
barnz: to show which one is you
twinturbo: like i don't know?
barnz: indeed
Swinny0: some don't!!

element: i feel lucky because i won every advertisement game
today...i have so many free ringtones its not even funny

[@JigsWithoutWoodstock] Phil: Could you repeat that, I was
distracted by a pig flying past my window

<blazemore> puking isn't nasty unless you've got your mouth
against someone's vagina and fill them up with your
regurgitated lunch
<blazemore> or in their ass and have them shit it back out
into your mouth
<AlmtyBob> that's not gross
<AlmtyBob> okay the second one is
<AlmtyBob> that would be the coolest jap scat pr0n ever

<POSKY|dinner> stop sucking up to him u dicks :P
<Fiery_isles> Element`: i figured out why posky always makes /
me licks comments :D
<Element`> WHY!!?!?!?!?
<Element`> its driving me insane D:!!
<Fiery_isles> cause he thinks we are dicks :D?

<Sir_Busby> haha I just got the most bizarre email...some dude
that I went to university with year ago...telling me that he's
dropped off Joe and Charlie at the airport two days ago and I
should have met up with them by now...and that Joe can't wait
to experience the good old days with me back in Kingston.
haha  I have no idea who Joe and Charlie are...and I've been
to Kingston once in my life.  weird.
<Sir_Busby> mistaken identity
<Sir_Busby> I hope

<an_ass733> How do you tell if your roommate is gay?  When his
dick tastes like shit.

<SamC42387> hmm here is a random question... can you be taken
to court if you are 15, and you used your friends picture in a
funny way on a website, yet they got offended?

<deimos> what are you installing?
<hep> your mom
<hep> YourMom v.2.4.5
<deimos> wow
<deimos> yourmom kept panicing on me
<hep> she does that deimos

<PookaEAT> Smoking makes baby jesus cry
<@PookaEAT> smoking gives baby jesus lung cancer

MUTANT1042: Man, fuck porn spam!
AvariceManifesto: That's the general idea.

<ALT--F4> im a irc nerd
<ALT--F4> i have spend up to 14 hours on here at a time
<ALT--F4> its my favorite thing until i remember that i have a
penis.
<Majin-Buu> k you are weird
<Majin-Buu> ill have to take ur nick into consideration
Parts: Majin-Buu ([email protected]) [21
users]

<Leeloo> Mutiny on the high IRC

<Samah> hmm the one bad thing about seeing cute chicks - it
gets me depressed.... T_T
<@toe2toe> /j #suicide

<_xu> does your knees feel tired the day after you masturbate
or have sex?

<Jaques> What if there was a Resident Evil game in France?
<sands> it'd be boring as shit
<sands> all the zombies would run away

<deathwarrior> time out baron
*** SignOff Baron: #doomino (Ping timeout for Baron
[h24-66-172-59.du.shawcable.net])

<Amorphis> I just passed with distinction my oral exam for
driving licence
<|jenova|> oral exam for driving test...
<|jenova|> dang..strict rules
<PcChip> you have to suck off the instructor ?

<classNTBk> lifetime kicks ass
<classNTBk> its got designing women
<classNTBk> its slogan may be "television for women", but its
attitude is "kickass enough for studs"

<pg> you can t rape the willing.
<pg> rape is the first casualty of consent.

<geekster> :O world stumbling day
* geekster needs black van and Mr T to drive it
<geekster> "i pitty the foo who doesn't use encryption on
there WLAN"

<deathz0r> i was setting up opengl drivers
<deathz0r> and it took me 2 days to get them working
<QuiKsiLvA> kool
<QuiKsiLvA> what does it do?
<deathz0r> ...
<QuiKsiLvA> is that were ppl d/l stuff of u or what
<QuiKsiLvA> tell me!

<Silmor> Hello Kitty is so tainted... imagine someone giving
your six year old daughter a hello kitty purse and you lashing
out at them "For fucks sake man, she's only 6!!"

<Ryan_Singer> hello everyone...GOP took GA too
<Ryan_Singer> first republican governor since 1872
<waffle[out]> time to enter my bunker and ride out the next 2
years
<waffle[out]> please god let bush not be president when I
leave it
<Ryan_Singer> The place I interned at last summer might not
exist next summer
<waffle[out]> Iraq?
<Ryan_Singer> The Georgia Technology Authority, the new
governor said on the radio he wants it gone

<faR_away-> my dad dont know how to use a cordless phone
<faR_away-> i hand him the fone saying its for you
<faR_away-> so it presses 'talk' because he thought it was off
<faR_away-> and im like.. why would I give u a phone saying
its for you and it being off

<D1> we used to have "Secret Massages" in english class
<kisama> where you'd rub the guy's dick
<kisama> under the desks
<D1> extacly!

<LatinKing> I was born homophobic, but i came out of the
closet a long time ago when i told my family i found out that
a lot of them were too!

<Sean> haha you don't like the finns
<Skywalker> i have the finns
<ed|work> in a small box?
<Skywalker> hate*