bash.org archive

<vrit> today my coworker ordered takeout from the chinese
place
<vrit> and naturally it was "mongoloid beef"

<end|Anthroborg> those are the risks people take to enjoy
quality porn
<Saevus> neg, quality porn sites dont do that
<Saevus> if you pay
<end|Anthroborg> pay
<end|Anthroborg> rofl
<Saevus> exactly
<end|Anthroborg> it only takes the main page to get off on
<Saevus> lol

<_emma_> I'm just like a Barbie doll, I come with all the
accesories <Mort-Hog> And you have your underwear melted on to
you? :)
<_emma_> Barbies in my day had no underwear
<Mort-Hog> What? My barbies all have their plastic underwear
molded on to their bodies

<McMoo> last year my parents gave me root beer for christmas

<Avatar> teenyboppers rule
*** Avatar was kicked by ChanOP ([Sphinx45] britney says hi)
<Tamgerine> Martin, I've seen you car-dance to Britney ...
case closed.
<Sphinx45> i can like britney and not be a teenybopper!

<hypr> as im on no your so inslurted me

quits: ReD_JaCk ([email protected]) (Quit:
Errection killed by beer)

<HotStuff> FUCK YOU AND YOUR SEX HAVING WAYS!
<Genepoolshark> Wug is, Roger!
<HotStuff> FUCK OFF MOTHERFUCKERS!
<Bullywug> Hey!
<Genepoolshark> You and Wug are both virgins!
<Genepoolshark> So, you can get together and fix it. :)

<Magus`> XP style
<zinguvok> XP gay stylin'
<Magus`> incorrect
<zinguvok> ionno... running an XP is like owning a powder blue
Celica
<Magus`> incorrect
<zinguvok> even if it is a great car, no problems, never even
dinged it...
<zinguvok> you're still a faggot

<Acero> dude wild are you some kind of flagrant gay

<Stacey> justin man i want you to meet my nerd friend from
school
<Stacey> i want you to make fun of him
<Stacey> i have to run from him everyday
<Stacey> not friend
<Stacey> no no no
<Stacey> and i had to sit for ten minutes watching him show
off his dos commands
<Stacey> and i'm like i wanna go out for lunch i have a
life...fucking type format C: before i kill you

<yods> maybe i should send her a loveop to apologise
<yods> 'sorry i was so mean..hope the suicde goes well...heres
a shotty

<turtletip> a seeing-eye dog was undressing me with its eyes,
so I maced him
<turtletip> it got all frantic and ran its owner infront of a
moving vehicle
<turtletip> pretty funny

<Lestat> I should invent a way to make porn into music.
<Matrix_McCloud> yes
<Lestat> So you could be rocking out and looking at porn at
the same time.
<Matrix_McCloud> oh
<Lestat> By like, rocking out to porn.

* Amrik slaps Morfans around a bit with a large trout
<Marvin|> I don't think he'll notice you more just because you
do that.
<Amrik> well it makes me feel better

<Hsu> you can have such amazing battle in the beta
<Hsu> i suck ballz and i still have a shit load of fun
<Hsu> it gets you so pumped
<Methos> keeps you fit too sweating from all that adrenalin
gaming.. that's how i stay fit
<Hsu> you smell
<Methos> yes, that's the sweat from the "set" i just did..
<Hsu> reps
<Hsu> got to love them
<Methos> it was a quick fast paced HL gib-fest
<Methos> my next "rep" is slower a calmdown by playing
solitaire

<DrNick668> man, a volvo hit me yesterday
<DrNick668> the volvo hit me and it's gunna cost me like 200
bucks or some shit coz it was my fault
<Warkha> was it an old person in the volvo?
<DrNick668> nah, fat chick
<DrNick668> i turned across the traffic and couldn't see her
comin
<Prozzy> at least the fat chick didn't hit on you, you woulda
had to pay another $200 to make her go away
<Warkha> or throw food

<Islandx55> wtf is a-team

<torgofan720> I'm still planning on having a love child with
LaggedyAnne by mailing her a vial of sperm frozen in a bag of
freezer veggies
<torgofan720> Gonna name the kid Greenbean

<BombScare> RAM Usage: 349/503MB (69.38%)
<snag> :/
<DSLDemon> snag usage: 512/512LBS (100%)
<snag> that's 512more lbs of man than you
<DSLDemon> i'm not sure what that means
<DSLDemon> but ok
<BombScare> heh
<BombScare> dont try to understand snag

<Goune> the other day i saw the headline : 'woman beats off
rapist' and i thought.....
<Goune> that seems like a reasonable compromise

<retry> i miss bathing in hot springs
<retry> in japan that's something you can just do whenever you
feel like it
<fuckyou> except they call it bukkake

<MegaDeth[Away]> hmmm
<MegaDeth[Away]> I like WASTE
<MegaDeth[Away]> WASTE is my FRIEND
<MH2> More people need WASTE
<Luigi30> I excrete WASTE into the TOILET.
<MH2> no
<MH2> That's waste
<MH2> Not WASTE

<ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in
common
<ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water

(Mobb-Deep) still using AO hell?
(tori_anus) no, shabbo.. it's just one of those aol shell
accounts so i can be ereet

<Apollo-> I would pay for one of you guys to come slob my knob
though ;)
* Uncouth perks.
<Uncouth> Apollo-: how much?
<Apollo-> Uncouth: $1 per minute, $1 penalty per minute after
the first minute ;)

< dai> my knowledge of c/c++ is comparable to my knowledge of
women
< Weeble> dai: got a null pointer huh?
< pairo> You can always read books about C.
< shiwan> dai: that doesn't say very much. :P
< dai> shiwan: you're a cruel one

<Amanda> MANY MEN
<Amanda> WISH DEATH UPON ME
<Amanda> I can relate to 50 Cent.
<Guilty> You're both into clubbing
<Amanda> baby seals

Dominion: Ill just throw it away and move on like the spoilt
child that I am
Dominion: I mean, look at how I use my new pc
Dominion: I havent carressed it since the first day
Dominion: I havent complimented it on the perfect sheen of its
aluminium

digitaltrip: http://old.jccc.net/acad/hr/jobs/02-401.htm
DotMtrx: 9.28 to stand there naked.
digitaltrip: yup
DotMtrx: Where is JCCC?
digitaltrip: the school I go to, hehe
digitaltrip: If you get the job remind me to drop my figure
drawing course.

<Gadfly> Did you see The Passion of the Christ yet? I hear
Salman Rushdie's writing the novelization.

<CG> well paint me green and call me gumby

<Finno> Elton Johns tribute toJohn Denver, he reworded Johns
Classic, Annies song - "You Fill Up My Cessna"

<kr0ss> people who get offended by '666' can suck my 6.66 inch
cock

<|Chris> i'm very pro-hiv
<|Chris> damn disease discrimination
<|Chris> why are people so prejudiced against HIV?
<|Chris> people are down with hepatitis and shit
<|Chris> but they're so full of hate for HIV

<doggie^> fuck me, muppet was actually on irc
<MS^Zealot> u make it sound like hes never on irc james
<doggie^> first time ive seen him on this year :P
<MS^Zealot> considering muppet is wired to his many machines
its not shock
<doggie^> rofl
<MS^Zealot> i think muppets recliner is like the chairs rom
matrix
<MS^Zealot> things goin into as many orifices as possible
<MS^Zealot> 5 in his ass
<MS^Zealot> etc

< avoozl> what port did i need again for dns
< avoozl> its not 'domain' is it?
< rigel> 53
< rigel> both udp and tcp
< avoozl> hm i have those
< avoozl> thats odd
< rigel> clippy says: "I see you need some network help! Would
you like me to: * search the help files for 'dns setup', *
open internet  explorer to msdn.microsoft.com"

<CPUkid> holy shit...8.25gb
<MacGunner> what your game folder?
<CPUkid> No all my porn, the special kind.
<MacGunner> wtf, gay porn?
<CPUkid> yeppers =/

<x[conco]> morning
<ChrisFlugel> I just had dinner
<ChrisFlugel> still feels like morning
<ChrisFlugel> maybe because I havent wacked off yet today

<ryda> i dont think anyone wants to see my dick in his cute
lil asss
<Gobbles> :|
<Gobbles> :S
<ryda> her
<ryda> lol
<Vindictive> His???
<Gobbles> hahhahaha
<Moose> HIS
<ryda> whatta bad typo

<Mystical> what black super hero movie have u seen
<Mystical> meteor man was
<Oolong> shaft
<Mystical> umm
<Oolong> wait
<Tenchi147> meteor man
<Oolong> is he a super hero
<Oolong> i consider shaft to be a superhero
<Oolong> or at least one bad mutha

<Konsole> #include <iostream.h>
<Konsole> #include <stdlib.h>
<Konsole> #include <afterstepspenis.h>
<Konsole> #include <thatnakedchick.h>
<Konsole> #define hebangsher 1
<Konsole> int main(void)
<Konsole> {
<Konsole> while (hebangsher)
<Konsole> cout << "oh yeah!
";
<Konsole> return 0;
<Konsole> }
<afterstep> yeah.

<CamaroSS> can you "upgrade" your power supply?
<CamaroSS> in your house, that is
<[Fang]going|postal> um, no
<CamaroSS> as in pay them to make your power supply better
<frink> wtf
<[Fang]going|postal> your house doesn't have a power supply
<CamaroSS> then it isn't my dad's cheapness?
<[Fang]going|postal> lolol
<frink> your power supply in your house HAHA
<CamaroSS> well, my dad wired the power in my basement

<maff> you're such a sarcastabitch brett
<timmo`> if by sarcastic you mean sexy, then yes.

(+Raven7108): Mayo can be fun but causes zits if rubbed in the
wrong areas

<Woody> some guys can last longer than 5 seconds mendy :p
<Mendez> I wouldn't know - I've never had a guy give me a
blowjob.

<pres589> Chuffy, were you there?
<ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man
<ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there
<pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the
trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious
<pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to
<pres589> same thing, it was fucked up
<ChuffyCow> I don't remember
<ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all
<pres589> fuck yeah we did
<ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers
<pres589> LOL

<@netwerk> the kill i sent to nickop lagged so much that it
killed me instead
<@p00mint> HAHAHA

<Rackshack-GregM> got my first DVD-A on Tuesday
<RS-Andrew> dvd-a? double vaginal double anal?
<Rackshack-GregM> hah
<Rackshack-GregM> DVD Audio

<EVOLinc> hes like ok this comodor 64 is state of the art

<zuez> i want to meet shawn when i go to boston
<zuez> and fuck him with my shaved carrot

<ecoli> i think that drugging and assault are an important
part of foreplay
<ecoli> yeah
<ecoli> like
<ettenyl> roofies will do that.
<ecoli> if i wanted something that would fuck me back, i'd
bang a goat.

<flawed> snow is like black people.. as long as it stays off
my driveway and away from my car, it's cool.

<+sampson> i'm such a fag i setup winxp to look like osx

<Griffin> my dicks not that long
<Griffin> eyeglasses should do
<pagan> so you cant see your cock with the nakid eye?

* zztzed wonders why there are closed captions in cell phone
commercials.
<Inuchance> zed: Well, some of them DO have text messaging
now. =P

<gaurav> ahh i feel sexeh
<airliner> irc is the only place you can feel sexy gaurav

<Gusty> being black would be cool
<Gusty> you could have your own neighbourhood
<Gusty> where the cops are afraid to go

<b1u3> know whatd rule
<b1u3> if somehow, we got bush and his two daughters and
suddam and his two sons in a ring, with glass shard laced
gloves, like in that movie kickboxxer
<b1u3> or give the bush daughters two beer bottles apiece and
send them to melee the fuck out of the iraqui ground
soldiers...a bush girl with a beer bottle against a skinny
iraqui whos only there so his family doesnt get gassed is like
bruce lee against david spade

< terminus> I'm not the "i am 37173, give me warez!" type
though lathiat
<@Lathiat> anyway bbl
< terminus> Oops I spelt elite wrong, I don't know leet-speak
well enough
< terminus> 37337 I meant
<@Lathiat> u mean 31337
< terminus> Sorry I blew my cover now you know I'm not really
elite

<Roogle> You could ban the whole Arab Emirates, for I've never
seen anyone on IRC from there
<Onyx> heh
<Onyx> ban an entire country :p
<Prometheus> I vote we ban belguim
<Prometheus> they're not trustworthy
<ian> yeah, then we can ban england and japan too.
<Prometheus> england is funny though
<Onyx> I say we ban the Swiss
<dn> *!*@*.fr
<UfoZ> I say we ban romania?
<Onyx> their neutrality is too suspicious...
<Kyou> lol
<Kyou> BAN THE FRENCH
<Prometheus> I bet the swiss are building an army like right
now
<Kyou> yeah
<Kyou> neutral, my ass
<Onyx> nah, Kal's from France.  Probably the only cool person
in the entire country though
* Fujiko sets mode: +bbbbbbb *!*@*.jp *!*@*.uk *!*@*.fr *!
*@*.be *!*@*.se *!*@*.br *!*@*.ro

* %James|AFK kicks Cruise in the balls..... WAKE UP >.<
<foamy> hah
<bootsector> LOL
<bootsector> What a nice way to wake someone up!
<SilentDragz> I've woken up before with my 9 year old cousin's
face about an inch away from mine
<SilentDragz> wait
<SilentDragz> my face, not balls
<SilentDragz> that sounded so wrong
<%James|AFK> lmao
<foamy> freek

<@JE> Hosting: $5 per month. Domain name: $15, your site being
down twice a week: Priceless.

(@Drizzt): being fat = broken
(@Drizzt): it got me off army for obesity :D

<<Cerberus>> i swear, these nintendo fanboys remind me of
girls. those girls who fall in love with the guy who takes
their virginity, the girls that keep calling him 4 years later
even tho he has changed his name to sadiq after he got raped
in jail

<SickRick> anyone know why linuxvideo.org is down?  was it
shut down?
<ian_> Because "linux" and "video" are mutually exclusive

<xolotl> I remember avoiding soccer practices because instead
of focusing on the ball I'd focus on the boys' thighs.

(Oolong): i don't really want to seduce a midget, unless he's
hot

<Ayashi> computer knowlegde... YUCK! >_<
<sig> hrm, maybe your moto should be: knowledge=yuck