bash.org archive

<Cyrix_> everytime you take a crap, you design the unique
cracks and lines in your terds, and sometimes decorate them
with peanuts or corn
<Cyrix_> and occasionally, you tint the shade. thats all
designing

* FarmerJoe is the resident pro-war/anti-canada guy
<soopadeop> <--- canadian
<FarmerJoe> aww, sorry...I hate you :P

<GaveUp> i stopped skate boarding when i started dirtbiking
<YenSid> ah yea, you can really injure yourself like that
<GaveUp> hehe i've totalled three bikes but the worst injuries
i've ever had were self-inflicted ... go figure ;P
<webby_g> stupidity related injuries are always the best

jeudrietr: cuz i aint no hollaback girl
dizzygurl_27: is a hollaback girl a slut?
dizzygurl_27: lol
dizzygurl_27: *thinks*
jeudrietr: lol no
jeudrietr: its a girl who yells back instead of just kicking
someones ass
jeudrietr: theres more to it, but the rest cant be translated
into white terms
jeudrietr: sorry

<cjj> DUDE! remember that uber fine hunnie 5'4 110 pounds
hazel eyes c cup i told you about?
<Bi0hazard> the chick who got naked?
<cjj> no no :)  that is kayli! im talking about "vanessa" well
she turned out to be uber nasty! 5'4 210 pounds !!! im done
meeting girls off the internet!
<cjj> i had to like run to the milkshake shop and lead a trail
of shakes away from my house
<cjj> than i made a quick gettaway in the car and left her ass
like 5 miles from her home
<cjj> grrr brb kayli just called :P  maybe i wont retire from
this net pimping just yet

<HowLeTT> if my back seat smells like pussy tomorrow, im going
to be furious
<HowLeTT> seriously

<tobeornot> ruff ryders anthem is unforgettable
<trips> cause its so horrible
<trips> like if you see a dead body
<trips> that would be unforgettable too
<trips> cause its out of the ordinary
<trips> and its definitely not a good thing

<sent> 84 counts of rape ;/
<cougSanF> yeah
<cougSanF> all while the girls were drugged
<cougSanF> and he filmed it
<cranky-> 84 counts of rape?
<shaan> hm
<shaan> are the vids on kazaa?

<AgentAce1> hmm
<AgentAce1> well that's interesting
<AgentAce1> actually...that's fuckin weird ass shit

<Spin0ut> devvie: Hey, it may be short, but it sure is skinny

*** User Jezus has logged off the chat for idle time (13293
seconds).
[PlanetBob] Wow.. we've been visited by Jezus.. the new..and
HIP jesus..

<Goten> hello i have this problem i had this floppy disc and i
had my modules on it but when i put it down and put a magnet
on it, the disc was corrupt? what could have happened

<LordOphidian> it all comes back to the manboobs
<LordOphidian> the circle of life
<cevik> that's because the manboobs are so large they create
their own gravity
<RedVoop> The circle of boob.  It consumes us all.  As we find
our hate...  on the nip all-dribbling...  o/~
<Selby> a dripping nipple... now we have truly come to nirvana
in this conversation
<LordOphidian> yes we have
<Selby> I am at peace

<Keebs> all mighty keebs is left with no computer other than
his FreeBSD machine.
<Parak> almighty?
<Keebs> Until I can get some new ram.
<Keebs> All righty
<Keebs> sorry
<Delver> bummer
<Delver> what happened? sneakers again?
<Delver> burn bios too many times?
<Keebs> Heh, no...the RAM is shot.
<Keebs> God I'm speaking as if my computer was a car with an
transmission problem.

<Saralou023> its a veteran computer......i think mines got a
virus
<CamboniMachine> dont u have norton or something like that?
<Saralou023> a norton? ......is that a type of computer?

(skankman) apparently i have tasty jizz
(skankman) i heard paper crumpling in the hallway
(skankman) and i went to check it out
(skankman) and my dog was licking a piece of paper with my
jizz on it

<bigcalm> are anal probes fun?
<Tesko> only if they are generious with the lube

< Rubicant> sorry...its been a strange week
< ShellGh0st> -week +life

* Craig thinks what it would be like if he had a 20" peins...
<Spooky> You'd have to wear a kilt
<Villager> you'd need to buy more bin liners
<Craig> would I collapse if I got an erection?
<Spooky> And you could never ride a motorcycle

Kaji: "i think willingly putting your child in a porno comes
under the catergory of unfit parent"
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: depends on the kind of porno...if it
were snuff yeah, but the real classy kind is okay
Kaji: ...mmk
Jallil d'lil 'anonen: pretend I didn't say that
Kaji, Maelthra D' Llaren: i will..

<Diablo-D3> we have seenserv now?
<RichiH> Diablo-D3: ask for BrainServ
<RichiH> perhaps you can pre-order

<RPG> Grrr
<RPG> Whenever I need someone, they are not to be found.
<scar3crow> i must be around a lot

<PkLvsKimZ> well
<PkLvsKimZ> I was never a slave
<PkLvsKimZ> but I still celebrate Martin Luther King day

<jaMESG[champ]> you know, i always thought that i kept my desk
kinda clean
<jaMESG[champ]> turning the keyboard over and tapping the back
of it
<jaMESG[champ]> so much shit falls out of it
<jaMESG[champ]> jesus
<burningpapersun> lol
<burningpapersun> jesus fell out of your keyboard?
<jaMESG[champ]> yeah
<jaMESG[champ]> i kicked that fucker out
<jaMESG[champ]> didn't pay rent
<jaMESG[champ]> just squatted
<jaMESG[champ]> in my keyboard

<monotone> it's funniest when a monkey is gibbon it all it's
got, but things still go wrong
<Hawkline> wow monotone, just wow
<wayfinder> monotone, how do you come up with these? i hope
it's okay to ask, i dont wanna pry m8
<HunterX11> the thing with monkeys is that they are smart
enough that you can sometimes see on their face when they
realize "oh shit this was a bad idea"
<wayfinder> kinda like when girls go on a blind date with me,
"see me an" think this was a bad idea
<wayfinder> ha ha ha, am i rite
<wayfinder> she just didn't like macaque
<monotone> man, drilling deep, wayfinder
<wayfinder> monotone, that's what your marmoset

<DMC[tiky]> talon: also can we discuss your choice of
hairstyles?
<DMC[tiky]> talon: the nappy-hair crackhead washed up movie
star shoulder legth hair cut is sooo not in.

<Karma> brb bathroom...
<DasAJ> we dont call the toilet a bathroom
<DasAJ> ever tried bathing in the toilet?
<SaladInc> there's a bath in the room though
<DasAJ> not here
<DasAJ> toilet is next door to the bathroom
<DasAJ> I dont want some dirty fucker stinking out the
bathroom when i need to brush my teeth

<Russell> he told me to max out the damn card, but I would
have felt guilty as hell if I did, so I just ordered 5 games,
an S-Video cable, memory card, LOTR extended version, 2 cable
extensions, and B&W with expansion

<UGT> http://www.superracer.com
<UGT> dl :)
<Jorkapp> ...the demo is 42 megs
<Jorkapp> thats about 2.5 hours on dialup
<UGT> better start now
<Jorkapp> I would rather spend those 2.5 hours dling pr0...
HalfLife Mods.
<UGT> lol
* Jorkapp whistles innocently

<@stereo_> when we get a time machine that can look anywhere
in history, i assume the first thing it'll be used for is to
spy on other people's dicks
<@Dom`> I mean, why?
<@Dom`> If we wanted to spy on dicks, we could just put a
camera in your mouth

*** emul8or__ ([email protected]) has joined
#winprog
*** delete[] sets mode: +b *!*@ool-18be3bcc.dyn.optonline.net
*** emul8or__ was kicked by delete[] (banned: <emul8or__> you
cant perm ban me)

(jo2): Do you know any help files for vb which are legal to
download ?
(@IRBMe): MSDN?
(@IRBMe): or you could look on the CD's or something
(jo2): i have no cds
(@IRBMe): where did they go?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): i never had them
(jo2): i have downloaded a trial ver
(@AndyDev): where did u d/l it from?
(jo2): no warez
(@AndyDev): where did u find the trial version?
(jo2): don't know
(jo2): it was 3 month ago
(@AndyDev): then buy the cds
(jo2): ok give me the money
(@AndyDev): OK, download them from here ftp://
warez:[email protected]
(jo2): it doesn't work

<freak> so whats the present? is it something with sailing?!
<freak> =)
<mango> no.....
<mango> it has to do with my mouth though
<freak> oh
<freak> whoa
<freak> like kissing?
<mango> ha ha
<mango> no
<mango> try me giving u head
<freak> AHHHHHHHH
<freak> YAAAAAAAAAAAY
<freak> really?
<mango> :-P
<freak> hahah
<mango> hell yea
<freak> better take out your microscope, cause remember im
asian =)

<CardboardArmor> The Great Unclean One will get around to your
sheet when he isn't busy.  Or masturbating.  Whatever comes
first.

<landen> I want to register it before Microsoft buys out
K.Mardam-Bey

<katas> <@may|phone> i go for people with a good personalities
<<---- schizophrenics?

<ranger> every single quote is about homosexuality? the US q3
scene worries me :>

<zophar>I think you're taking their feelings in the wrong way.
Some people just happen to like the game. Obviosuly you don't
care that much, and thats cool. But it's your opinion, and
some people would like to really play this game the way its
meant to be played, full final product, without all the insane
amount of cheating in it. O_o;
<Galigmus_Ruune> who cares
<Galigmus_Ruune> cheaters make the game more lifelike
* com4 goes back to warcraft 3 so he can cheat and kill faster
than those stupid orcs

<Dregneck> i dont find sperm perverted
<Dregneck> at least my girlfriend doesnt
<Dregneck> :)
<Boro> :P
<Dregneck> boro knows exactly what i mean lol
<Dregneck> look at that tongue of him
<Dregneck> :)
* Boro looks aorund innocently

<Ronwe> /slap -chainsaw "joojoo"
<joojoo> /slap -cock "Ronwe"
<joojoo> =x~
<Ronwe> it's not big enough to hurt
<joojoo> Text generally doesn't.
<Ronwe> interesting... your cock is text
<joojoo> Whoever said that?
<joojoo> Whoever said I was using my "cock"~#@E Q&!#*(
<joojoo> AHAH
<joojoo> WOW LETS GET ANALLY TECHNICAL NOW =]
<Ronwe> Do me a favour
<Ronwe> Don't use the word anal when we're talking about cocks

<AxxA69> What the hell is a r33t???

<Ramen> When my penis grows in size at the site of a naked
male, then I'll believe I'm gay.

<BizaSmokedout> nah amng I can hold a inteligent convrsation
if you want

*** overloaded has quit IRC (Quit: i'm outta here like a dyke
fleeing dick.)

leafhound> i find it humorous as fuck that what is babyfat on
girls is on guys...a beergut
mo0nChiLd> nah, its a fuel tank for a sex machine

<dodge> i tell ya
<dodge> youre sitting here one minuite, the next thing you
know youve just woken up and theres ya laptop under yer
pillow...
<Lord-Data> nope.. just you ...

<al-x> i take quote theft very seriously
<al-x> i'm now going to not paste any more quotes
<al-x> coz of quote stealage

<`michael> when i was in preschool my mom used to babysit this
girl my age named julie
<`michael> and we had this room in the basement
<`michael> and we went in there and she licked my penis

<iLLf8d> yeah I got it setup so when I fart I can hit the
button and save my gf

<BaD-CooL> for the first time in history, two zombie movies
are at the movie theaters at the same time
<BaD-CooL> dawn of the dead and passion of the christ
<BaD-CooL> jesus is the original zombie
<BaD-CooL> then he sucked the brains out of all the dumbass
christian faggots

<Siron> the bathroom is full and i gotta go..
<neural> well there is that bush
<neural> and that.. corner
<phyrearms> siron just point it spray it under the door

<TALLC00L1> Why do dogs lick their dicks? cuz they can't make
a fist

myke: my sex life is over before it began
myke: i'm married

<the_almighty_shoe> i bought concert tickets for a stranger i
met on online once.
<the_almighty_shoe> but it was an Tori Amos concert, so it was
his/her's loss.

<Jules`> +b
[email protected]

* spacely sets mode: +o splurge
<splurge> if only having ops helped me get chiqs
<splurge> [sigh]
<splurge> id have hoes fallin' out my ass!
<splurge> (instead of the roaches I hide there so that my mom
won't find them)
<spacely> oh man thats why yer weed is always so shitty
<splurge> you mean cheech and chong were wrong?  rectal
storage doesnt make weed "good shit"?

<Guilty> Are you suggesting that the pentagon was hit by a
space shit and to cover it up the government stages a plane
hijacking
<kisama> yeah, and the twin towers were never there either.
<peng> yes
<peng> the government makes up an airplane
<peng> with a passenger list and all
<peng> to coincide with the WTC
<kisama> then dick cheney sticks a finger up gwb's ass
<peng> this shit goes deep man
<kisama> and says "it's gonna be ok, baby bush, it's alright."
<kisama> "have a teddy bear"
<kisama> and osama bin laden sits down and discusses pokemon
with the president over tea and crumpets.

Archpo: Ok, I m stealing that.
Drmn: haha
*** Auto-response from Archpo: rm * /dev/bladder; cat /dev/
fridge | grep food
Drmn: trouble with that is remembering to treat /dev/fridge as
a FIFO and not a block device
Drmn: *contemplates 3 day old pizza vs. 2 day old indian food*

mike_afe > I just watched Wild Wild West. What a turkey. I
chose it over The Water Boy and The Thin Red Line. What a
dick. This reminds me of the time that Moretom came back from
the shop with an Atari ST under his arm...

<Targen> I'm using a particular method to take the gas out of
my coke that involves sinking the bottle's head somewhat
deeply into my mouth...and some of the coke was dripping out
because of a miscalculation.
<Targen> and my hand was right next to my nose
<Targen> I don't think I have to tell you what my hand smells
like
<Targen> but the point is... eww, I will never use this method
again
<Ender_Ray> thats what you get for having oral sex with a coke
bottle :

( ¤ ) Topic Change: prence sets topic to <Male Camwhore
Act>I will now send you a cum filled tube sock if you buy
something off my wishlist, thanks!</Male Camwhore Act>

<Toen[hw]> so when you inherited one and a half x and half a
y, you realized "Oooh, that little timmy kid's got a tight
ass"

phoenix8634: are you legally downloading music yet or no?
TwiztidTown: ROFL
TwiztidTown: what is that?
phoenix8634: k ill take that as a no
TwiztidTown: you can LEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC?
TwiztidTown: LOL AND ALL THIS TIME I WAS DOING IT FOR FREE

<Rairu> I'd rather play mvc2 and smoke chronic than get head

quiet >> What's faster than a speeding bullet?
eskaypey >> chuck norris
quiet >> a Jew with a coupon.

<%PeteriD> Ladies and gentlemen
<%PeteriD> Michael Bolton Has threatened to kill me
<xnoblefoxfirex> ohhh micheal bolton
<xnoblefoxfirex> I know Id be scared
<@bunnzy> whats he gonna do?
<@bunnzy> love you to death?
<@_pali> release another album! >_<
<@bunnzy> maybe he'll hold you down, and get his mate kenny G
to molest you with his saxaphone!

<blaxthos> milo == ann coulter minus the penis

paranoidjanitor: so I used the grep command to search through
the manual page for the grep command to find the paramater
that displays a variable number of lines before the actual
output
paranoidjanitor: and the paramaters are all on the previous
lines, so I ended up having to search through the manual by
hand anyway

<Amanda___> hhahaha, peng
<Amanda___> You're perfected THE ART OF CALLING PEOPLE FAT
<c-rOCK> indeed.