bash.org archive

<brie> what i've learned from looking at porn on the
internet...
<brie> 1. some girls have really strange looking tits
<ppcock> true
<Havok> 2. some chicks have dicks
<ppcock> very true
<Carrie> lol @ 2
<brie> havok i already knew that... i live on seymour st ;)
<Havok> marty knows!
<ppcock> 3. people do animals
<Havok> 4. japanese are not as polite as they seem
<brie> 4. there are personal ads for people into incest
<ppcock> hahahahaha
<brie> hahaha at Havok's 4
* ppcock gives you the $50,000
<Havok> how do personal ads for people into incest work?? a
sticky note on
the fridge??
<ppcock> hahahahaha

Enetheru: Freud... he'd have a ball with that.
Enetheru: Man, I wish he was still alive.
Enetheru: "Hey Freud, I want to introduce you to 4chan."
Enetheru: "Say Hi, 4chan."
Fizzkittens: Argh!
Enetheru: Freud wouldn't be able to do enough coke to keep up.

<Papa_Trousers> you ever think the guys who invented the word
sex spelled it that way so we could type it with our left
hands?

<ic3n3t> there is a bunch of girls playing soccer in the park
<uberartsyboi> im coming over.
<ic3n3t> i think they are 15
<ic3n3t> pedophile!
<uberartsyboi> im shaving the goatee then coming over.
<ic3n3t> i'll get the lawn chairs

<|CS|Lothar> but it canadian money and we all know canadian
money isnt worth the paper it's printed on
<Lareonis> Kinda like American treaties?

<Normandy> I told my sis to go to hotmail to set up her own
email account, and she went to www.hotmale.com and now she
thinks I'm gay ;(

<limeking> Hey jen, ya wanna come over and we can wrap
ourseves in plastic, shit ourselvves, and then eat our own
shit while listening to MC hammer?
<Jennie254> Ewwwww gross!
<Jennie254> That's fucked up! Why would you even THINK I'd
want to listen to MC Hammer?? .

<psichan> nipple rings remind me of giant castle doors
<psichan> whenever I see someone showing off nipple rings, I
want to reach out and yank on them, screaming "SANCTUARY!"

<Green> So my gf left me... I feel like a load of shit
<vampireslaya> :(
<death_man> Yeah there are these fuckers on IRC who keep
shitting on about their damn lives... Fucking gay.
<Green> ...
<xxXpronXxx> What the hell?
<death_man> Erm wrong window
<xxXpronXxx> I see
<vampireslaya7> Anything else you want to tell us, bitch?

<E^> Your mom is like HTML
<E^> Tiny head, huge body!

* Idiot has quit IRC
<ChineseElite`> that'll be the day...

(D1) ignore me
(D1) 9 out of 10 women do.

<FallLine> heh wtf
<FallLine> some people are stupid
<FallLine> i asked this guy to send me a log file from my
software...
<FallLine> either cut and paste the last 100 or so lines into
the email or attach the entire log
<FallLine> so he prints the entire thing out
<FallLine> scans it in
<FallLine> and then attaches the images INSIDE a word document
<FallLine> and only the first 100 lines
<FallLine> hehe

<x-horizon> I was reading a magazine at work while my boss
came to my office and asked me why I am not working...
<x-horizon> I said "I didn't see you coming, sir"

<HaX.1337> U're all lame as hell here!!!!! I can hack u all in
no time! just tell me your ip and u're dead!
<Maler.home> try mine
<Maler.home> 127.0.0.1
*** Signoff: HaX.1337 (Connection reset by peer)
<Damz|dispute> wow. never thought such a retard nick can get
his hands on something actually working xD

<zathras> This game of rhymes is eating at my brain, I beg of
thee, sir, for the love of god, refrain!
<Deliphos> I cannot! In my blood it doth runneth! Hush thee
now, lest I cap with my gunneth!

<J-Dawg> no, I just refuse to turn on my heat after my $255
heating bill
<WeirdAl> 1 dollar more and you'd need another bit

Threatis I'm trying to figure out what "geek" tattoo I'm
getting.
khmer Threatis: get <blink> tattooed on your eyelids

benjiwenji07: this one time i saw a 40 foot tall wrench
benjiwenji07: and that was the biggest tool id ever seen until
i met john genz
blahdy78: thats weird because this one time i saw this 40 foot
tall wench
blahdy78: and that was the biggest whore i ever saw till i met
your mom

<sithmaster> hmm i got a cut on my finger, not sure where it
came from
<DarkBlueTornado> i got multiple cuts down my arm...not sure
where those came from either
<RawBeef> Maybe you've been sleep emoing

<tress> I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me
before we met.

Cooler1011: can you explain to me why i need to format and/or
partition this disc?
Cooler1011: It does not make sense to me.
mrrc00: imagine a giant room
mrrc00: now, throw millions upon millions of identical things
into the room
mrrc00: now these things can be used to make larger things,
but only if they have some order to them
mrrc00: a filesystem, which you create by formatting, orders
those bits
Cooler1011: yo, get a job
Cooler1011: you're qualified
Cooler1011: that really sounds like it came right out of PC
Magazine
mrrc00: oh, I'm not surprised
mrrc00: I was pulling it out my ass, after all

<outcaste> ROTFBMALFO!
<outcaste> Rolling On The Floor Because My Artificial Limbs
Fell Off

<Firebrand> Mario and Luigi are just too "goody goody" with
each other.
<Firebrand> I'd wonder what kind of "plumbing" they do
<Firebrand> As I never see them with the tools

[ Rjx ] either the chocolate in my pocket has melted, or this
is something altogether more sinister

sw0813: you know, the movie ray really was inspiring
sw0813: he was blind, and yet still managed to hit his wife
sw0813: that means either of two things:
sw0813: 1. his wife was stupid or
sw0813: 2. he wasnt really blind
sw0813: i mean seriously, was it like "marco," "polo" WHAM!

<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes
equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'.
<Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock
music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with
country music etc,etc.
<Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in
front of my car the other day,
<Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons
'THRILLER' came on :S

<bunnyrape> Unscramble this: tq/iu
* Quits: mnk0 ([email protected]) (?)

<traid> is it bad when people at work ask what happened to
your porn site?

<fustard> one time the band teacher introduced a jazz song
with "the negroid population enjoys this piece"
<fustard> there were a bunch of black kids sitting in front of
me
<fustard> there was like a collective "what da fuck"

<dovee> anyone using or have an imac?
* macker looks over at the door
<macker> nope, they replaced the door-stop with a real one...

Eldragon: seriously the level of public debate in this country
is about the same as an elementary school yard
Eldragon: Wolf Blitzer: This just in from the tether ball
Court, Obama's friend said Ms. Clinton has cooties.

<mikeD> ya i got into a fight im so pissed....
<abrutii> well... did you win?
<mikeD> no but i got a good hit in
<abrutii> ya? thats good, where did you hit him?
<mikeD> i hit his hand with my eye
<abrutii> lmfao

<Big_Fat_Duck> wait its stuck at updating
<Big_Fat_Duck> 1 second left
<Big_Fat_Duck> read to play in approx. 1 second
<Diazo> it's a microsoft second

<jenn> canada is ned flanders to usa's homer simpson.
<slurpee> hahahahahahahah
<slurpee> so true
<slurpee> "hidely-hodely, neighborino!"  "shut up, canada."

<@David> All of these kernel panics make this computer more
secure.
<@David> The machine can't be hacked when it's down.

(@Nick^) we were about to start an important exam yesterday
(@Nick^) and the male teacher says "any mobile phones turn
them out and put them on the desk at the front"
(@Nick^) and my friend questioned him about whether it was
necessary to put it on the desk at the front, blah blah
(@Nick^) then the teacher walks down the row of people to
check, and says to my /other/ friend, "Is that a mobile phone
in your pocket?"
(@Nick^) and my friend turned round and said "No he's just
pleased to see you"
(@Nick^) I almost got kicked out for crying with laughter

<n0vablaze> why do people automatically hate me when i join a
channel?
<detmer> it saves time

<alisdair> context, boy.
<sev> and his trusty sidekick: punctuation, man

"A lot of people wonder how you know you're in love. Just ask
yourself this
one question: "Would I mind being financially destroyed by
this person?"
- Ronnie Shakes

<Bungie> You know porn has become an addiction when you are
standing at the gas pump filling your bike and just before you
top it off, you pull the hose out and spray it all over the
tank.

<Storm> ok, when my mom's friend was like 6, she was out
waiting for the bus, also happened to be garbage pick-up day
<Storm> so anyways little kid is waiting for the bus, and her
dog comes running out her house to see her, well...unfortunate
timing placed the dog right in the street as the garbage truck
was arriving
<Storm> so *BAM!* street pizza
<Storm> but then...the garbage man gets outta the
truck....sees the dead dog...and just tosses it in the back of
the truck, right infront of all the kids at the bus stop

<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize

<ram> I got into an interesting discussion with my roommate
yesterday about Quantum Romneyism
<ram> Romney holds a superposition of all political opinions
until you observe him, then they collapse based on the
audience.

<Kali-I> I'm so 1336!

<matt> too bad her head looks like an ass
<scv> thats makes blowjobs better, matt

* Steele looks at his watch
<Steele> well either its 6:15 or mickey has a hard on

<Man_Loner> I had the best masturbation ever today too
<Man_Loner> I had the magazine open in front of me, at a
really great picture
<Man_Loner> My eyes were rolling back in my head
<Man_Loner> I let out a deep moan
<Man_Loner> And then the man in the shop asked "Are you going
to buy that?"

<Sam_> yesterday i saw MIB2 and mr. deeds.
<P|CK|E> i saw mib6-4 like, 6-4 weeks ago
<P|CK|E> my two key doesnt work.

<MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F
are the letters for bra sizes?
<MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what
the letters stood for, it's about time you were informed!
<MattV> A- Almost boobs
<MattV> B- Barely there
<MattV> C- Can't complain!
<MattV> D- Damn!
<MattV> DD- Double damn!
<MattV> E- Enormous!
<MattV> F- Fake.

*** Locke1` ([email protected]) has joined #square
<Locke1`> am i still banned?
<Deadcounter> Locke: yes
<Locke1`> shit
<Locke1`> i'll leave now
<Locke1`> sorry
*** Locke1` ([email protected]) has left #square
<Deadcounter> eheheh
<ift> amazing

* Quits: Pyoveli ([email protected]) (Ping
timeout)
* Quits: Waltro ([email protected]) (Ping timeout)
* Quits: Alanzo ([email protected]) (Ping
timeout)
* Quits: Landusia ([email protected]) (Ping
timeout)
<Fleebis> finland is crashing

Chico: i would never consider her at all
Chico: shes like 100% emo
Chico: to the bone
QueenRen24: aww, but emo kids are so cut
QueenRen24: e

<Pizza|> anyone know of some good mp rpgs
<kessel> RL is good
<Pizza|> whats rl ?
<kessel> Real Life
<Pizza|> link ?

<prok> still living at home :/
<nug> living at home is cool and all, but it sucks to kick a
bitch out in the morning and she walks past my parents on the
way out
<p0ng_> fuck that, i'm loving with my dad till he moves
<prok> BEST TYPO EVER

<Boogieman> possibly the wierdest thing ever just happend.
<Boogieman> I really had to take a piss so I ran to the
bathroom.
<Boogieman> and I ran into the room, but I didn't know that my
dad put a new mat in there.
<Boogieman> Ususally bathroom mats have those anti slip things
on the bottom, but this one didn't
<Boogieman> and I sliped, smashed my shoulder on the toiled,
pissed myself, and cried out in pain
<Boogieman> my dad comes down and is like "what happened!?...
wait, you know what, I don't want to know" and then goes
upstairs

<ikkenai> What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
<TheFlux> not an oil based one
<TheFlux> it may catch fire

Nautilus724: One time I tried to piss off the people at
McDonalds by ordering the food in the little Spanish I knew.
Nautilus724: I think that was the first time they didn't screw
up my order.

<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a
pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

DHS : Could god make a game so powerful, that even his
computer couldn't run it at full settings?
PoorLeno : It's called Crysis.

<@Stormrider> If I got arrested and had one phone call, I'd
call the police station with a bomb scare

<Cell>: i heard tupac was hung like a horse
<Kleptomaniac>: Tupac was shot, he wasn't hung. Read the news
sometime.

* deflux- has joined #bondage
<deflux-> I've got ducttape, some pliers and watermelon. 
Let's do this thing.

<AtnNn> <me> asl? <her> 20/f/uk u?

<Amanda`> while(every_girl_except_me == idiot)
<Amanda`> cout << "INFINITE LOOP OF H8" << endl;

<test4_> my mom just grounded me over Instant Messanger

<Bus> y = |x|
<JaxomZero> thats thinking positive

<Zakk> Lash you are crossing a train track and you find a
naked woman tied to it and a train is comeing. Is this
awesome?
<Lash2828> Of course
<Lash2828> Stupid question
<Zakk> even though shes going to get killed by the train
<Lash2828> How long untill the train hits?
<Zakk> like
<Zakk> 1 minute
<Lash2828> Thats enough for me.

* snag giggles
<eldee> for a fat guy you giggle alot
<eldee> or are you misspelling jiggle?