bash.org archive

(bovril): amsterdam is officially the best place ever
(doggie^): how stoned did you get?
(bovril): as stoned as an adulterous arab woman

<Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term..
<Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and
astronaut micrometeorite protection
<Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race

<Comrade_Zoo> If an animal rapes you, can you sue it's owner?
<Revolution_Man> I did.
<Revolution_Man> And I won.
<Revolution_Man> Take THAT, Richards Fish Mart.

<Inflex> Oh my lord
<Inflex> This is so wierd.
<Inflex> In fact, it's wack.
<Noonan> what is
<Inflex> Non engineering classes.
<Inflex> They're like 40% chicks.
<Noonan> heheh
<Noonan> sometimes more
<Inflex> It's so fucked up.
<Inflex> When I walked in, I thought I was in a bar.
<Noonan> hahah
<Noonan> Welcome to the real world
<Inflex> This new world scares me.

<Swenja> If you handed people a box that said "Danger!
Crotch-eating crickets inside! Do not shake! Do not open!"
<Swenja> ....ten minutes later, there'd be screaming and
chirping, and crickets all over the place...

<Adrenna> Mom's misguided kitten crawled under the covers
while I was recovering from a tonsillectomy & thought my clit
would be good to lick.. holy mother of god I screeched

*** Signoff: Froz- (Quit: and /exit were sitting in a park. /
exit left, so who was still sitting in the park?)
*** Froz- ([email protected]) has joined
channel #mpsource
*** Mode change "+o Froz-" for channel #mpsource by ChanServ
<Froz-> /quit and /exit were sitting in a park. /exit left, so
who was still sitting in the park?

< fortitUs> hm.. whats a strapon? :S *innocent look*
<%relsqui> fortitUs: it's what I would use, lacking a cock, if I
wanted to screw someone with one
< fortitUs> O_O
-!- fortitUs [[email protected]] has quit
[Quit:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh]
<%relsqui> oh man, I remembered that he's like 12 RIGHT after I
said that

[+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think
everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
[+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that
everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
[%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make
lego

<greg> You know what's wrong with this channel, Nathan buys
laptops and scotch, and you people ask him what kind of
laptops.

<Daki> thanks i know
<Azalyn> aww
<Azalyn> *smack*
<Azalyn> your so cute when you get smacked
<Azalyn> *smack*smack*
<Azalyn> awwwww!!!!
<Azalyn> *smack*smack*smack!*smack!!-crack* err, oh shit.. o.o
i think i killed him >.<
*** Daki ([email protected]) Quit (Read error:
Connection reset by peer)
<Azalyn> O_O

<|404notfound> They need to make keyboards without the caps
lock button, and then give the buttons to martial arts
masters.
<|404notfound> "Only when you can snatch the caps lock from my
hand may you yell incessantly like an idiot."

<Kaltorak> every 7 out of 6 days is a bad day for my typing
skils.
<Kaltorak> oh my god.

Geo: You know, I would be a straight A college student if it
weren't the the internet.
Chronologist: for the internet, you mean.
Geo: ..
Geo: SEE?!
Geo: IT'S EVEN TAKING MY ABILITY TO CONVERSATE PROPERLY!!!!
Geo: ...
Geo: AWAY
Hidoshi: ...Converse.
Hidoshi: Conversate isn't a word.
Geo: ...
Geo: Fuck.

<+Rafe> you wanna' know how geeky my school is
<+Rafe> rather geeky, but not quite geeky enough
<+Rafe> we rate our girls in binary
<+Rafe> one bit though.
<+Byan> Rafe: O_o
<+Choco_Reisen> how many are actually 0? :o
<+Rafe> most of them
<@beyonder> 0 = i'd hit it, 1 = i'd hit it hard

* Joins: kewty ([email protected])
<kewty> wat av i mist?
<chopsuey> english class

<VicViper> heh darkaeon writes his IP address in bathroom
stalls
<VicViper> for a good time - xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx

<Killrbyte> !googlepop "anal sex";"oral sex"
<migas> - "anal sex" is more popular than "oral sex" (2220000>
1360000
<Video`> NO WAY
<Video`> FUCK THAT SHIT
<Killrbyte> Video`: Exactly.

<Funk> Hey I have a question for your mother
<zuKi> Sure thing, let me get her!
<Funk> Ask her how many Communion wafers you'd have to eat to
consume a whole Jesus

<Carter> Periods rock
<Carter> It's the only time you have enough blood to cover
yourself in warpaint unpainfully
<Carter> you can recreate Braveheart with red!
<DireWolf> Sorry you two, but the idea of a bunch of lesbian
feminist bitches on their periods re-enacting BraveHeart is
enough to make all the men on the face of the earth curl up in
a fetal position and await death.

<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting
thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped
cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin

<HailBrak> me: "we should form a company that makes manly
china patterns"
<HailBrak> my friend: "i agree. i mean, how much success am i
supposed to have when all the patterns are called "tender
blossom" or some shit? i want one called, like, "Glock" or
"Beer and Tits" or "Lets Burn Down Fucking Pier 1"

<Sock_Monkee> woot, the hot checkout girl at the market was
checking me out again today
<OceanWave_> of course she was checking you out, you were in
the fucking supermarket line!

<blue_> [wned
<fluffy> blue_: I like how you mistyped 'pwned' as [wned when
pwned itself is an intentional reproduction of the common
mistyping of owned
<fluffy> I have a feeling that in a few years people will be
typing \wned without any shred of irony

<ckx> part of the problem with christains
<ckx> is they're so gullible
<DigDug> ckx: isn't that why they're christians in the first
place?
<ckx> heh good point

(oddmud): oh great, here comes another idiot
(@tekzil): afraid of a little competition?

*** MoBart has joined #mmorpg.ger
<MoBart> @find forgotten realms
<MoBart> @locator forgotten realms
<nemesys> wtf?
<TechWar> WareZ l0cAtOR 1.2: found forgotten realms @
www.goatse.cx
*** MoBart has left #mmorpg.ger
<TechWar> hehehe.

<The_Slog> you know how a sink trap works?
<Einer> No.
<Einer> I'm a rocket scientist, not a plumber.

<Bismarck>Ok.
<Bismarck>Over 50.000 people at the stadium watching the game.
<Bismarck>22 Players on the field
<Bismarck>2 referees,
<Bismarck>and the coaches sitting on the side of the field.
<Bismarck>So WHY did the FUCKING BIRD have to shit on MY
HEAD!?

[masterchris] oh wow. I love the way Norton backs you up
against a wall and tells you that you have to reboot to
complete the installation of these updates..
[masterchris] ..no 'reboot later' button
[masterchris] just 'okay'
[DRUFER] pfft
[masterchris] i wonder, if I hit the x, will it close it - or
reboot it.
[Pickle_Weasel] just keep it in the background until you're
ready
[DRUFER] get your virus updates
[DRUFER] be happy
*@masterchris is going to try the x.
[Pickle_Weasel] ping timeout
[Pickle_Weasel] $5 on ping timeout
[DRUFER] lmao
[masterchris] Norton wouldn't be that prickey and make the x
button the same as 'ok' i would hope.
* masterchris [GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca] has left
IRC
* @masterchris (GAT-X207@=SHVbyv-508.chebucto.ns.Ca) Quit
(Connection reset by peer)
[Kraid] ahaha

<EFudd> HAHAHAAHH
<EFudd> Subject: Req For Winframe Account
<EFudd> Hi Jason,
<EFudd> Can U pl... Create this account Immediatly.
<EFudd> User Id : crapolla
<EFudd> Password :crapolla
<EFudd> Other Info
<EFudd> 1) User Full Name:Claudia Rapolla

<Admiral_Bayls-UltraLite> The Olsen twins are like dual core
CPUs. They can share my load anytime.

<Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our
gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
<Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL

<Infe> but if i ever hit a deer with my car i'll be damned if
i don't try to finish it off, i'll need the food after all my
money is fixing the car#@$#@

<seraph> does anyone here have the Matrix 1?
<comet_11> searph
<comet_11> just search for the matrix reloaded
<seraph> noooo
<seraph> i want the FIRST one
<seraph> the original
<comet_11> yes
<comet_11> I'm saying if you search for reloaded, you'll find
the first one
<comet_11> you made the mistake of searching for the first
matrix
<comet_11> that'll get you fight club

úùú Quits: JESUS ([email protected]): Ping timeout
<Cyph3r> jesus died from my syn's

<tragic> i would seriously pay money, like... movie ticket
prices (per incident), if there was a device that allowed
people to teleport from one place to another during irc
conversations. it would be all like
<tragic> <aZnb0i002> MAN FuK U ILL CUM 2 UR hUouSE and RaPE ur
MOM biTCH ill FUCK you uP!
<tragic> <john> oh seriously? *warp*
<tragic> <john> hi
<tragic> <aZnb0i002> oh, hello there sir. i think you were
talking to my brother a minute ago. however, he left me to
give you his sincerest apologies and sends word that he hopes
your mother is doing exceptionally well today

<pr0k> I could do it when I was like 15, however, the
pleasurable sensation of having a mouth on my penis was
completely cancalled out by the sensation of having a penis in
my mouth.

<MikeH> hey nirgle, since youve worked with php and im
guessing have done a bit with sessions, whats the easiest way
to keep track of multiple form entries spaced out among
multiple pages, and then at the end when all is said and done,
write said form entries to a text file ?
<nirgle> hmm, i'll think about it in the shower
<nirgle> brb
--time passes--
<nirgle> i lost my train of thought in the shower
<nirgle> and was thinking about lawn gnomes
<nirgle> sorry

<soink> and im not that fat
<soink> cameras add like 48 pounds
<SteelStud> Well, you must have used 5 cameras on that
picture.

<ScratGod> I put a comment by each line of code that says
<ScratGod> x = 1;  // FUCK YOU FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF BITCH

<Mukluk> My lungs hold 650 cubic cenimeters of air. :P
<Mukluk> I know this because it was measured by a doctor. :P
<fRy-> WHAT THE FUCK? :P
<Mukluk> I was told that that's an extremely high capacity. :P
<Mukluk> I could fucking beat all of you to death. :P
<DeadRinga> with your lungs?
<z0rg> Mukluk hahahah
<Mukluk> Laugh all you like, little-lung. :P

<@HndlWCare> I just got email from [email protected]
telling the mailbox for [email protected] is over quota,
and if I feel this message is in error I should reply to
[email protected]

<DavidRei> Life is like an analogy.

<ShowHour> Any hot girls with a cam free for chat?
<Hot^Gay_Male> yes
<Hot^Gay_Male> msg me

<berzerk0r> i wrote a rap about my ex girlfriend ready:
<berzerk0r> You're a cunt.
<merkaba> thats pretty good berz
<berzerk0r> i like it
<MadHatter> it doesn't even rhyme

<rob`> highschool was the best 7 years of my life

Spanky: dude...there's a guy with the aim SN "themormonjihad"
TyFlame: rofl
Spanky: what the FUCK
TyFlame: conquering the world, one wife at a time

<MootSux> I found a way to irc from work
<MootSux> Mootar 1, productivity 0.

<orion> hold on here
<orion> does the cube have a dvd drive?
<Amanda`> It's probably a 12x cdrom
<orion> ><
<orion> insulting the cube is like kicking me in the privates
<orion> i don't know how to eject the cdrom
<Amanda`> drag it to the trash can
<orion> strike two

<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small
hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"?

<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still
or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download
speeds.

<meeb> what the fuck
<meeb> highly religious client just rang up
<meeb> wants us to automatically take their website down at
sunset on a friday until sunrise on a monday
<meeb> as using an online shop is bad and evil over the
sabbath

<VFR8> My band teacher let me try to learn tuba yesterday in
the music room when there was nobody else there
<VFR8> I tried blowing too hard and I passed out X|
<VFR8> He came in at the end of the period and found me
unconscious on the floor with the tuba lying next to me
<VFR8> I wish I could have seen the look on his face...

<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )

<noc`> I like rice
<noc`> rice is good when you're hungry and you want 2000 of
something

<fm> i've had three girls today IM me and tell me that they
like me.
<fm> then they said april fools and signed off.

<@Dark_un> is there an actual term for banks lending out
money?
<@bytraper> loan
<@Dark_un> i was thinking of the process
<@incorrect> scam

<prence> oh fuck oh fuck man
<prence> my mom got this new canon digital camera today and
they are asleep so i took a picture of my cock and i can't
figure out how to delete it
<prence> fuck what the hell do i do?!

<TheMaxx> interesting cash making tactic i've discovered in
Rome: Total War
<TheMaxx> once a city starts getting really, really... big..
the citizens start getting a little uppity, especially if your
city lacks certain amenities befitting a city of its size
<TheMaxx> so fine
<TheMaxx> remove the garrison, crank up the taxes and let them
revolt
<TheMaxx> army moves back in with little opposition (peasants
vs. legions, pshaw).. then execute 70% of the population and
take their gold
<TheMaxx> before you know it they'll start clamouring for
democracy
<Deltan> If there were a dictator of the year award, you'd be
a shoe in.
<Deltan> That Saddam fellow has nothing on you.

<dude> this is belgium at its best
<dude> our minister of defense takes a chopper to fly 60 kms
to go see Al Gore's movie about climate change
<dude> beat that

red sets mode: +b *!*@*.aol.com
*** creepen12 was kicked by biohzrd (banned: (your 500 free
hours will not be spent here./6.05.02))

<BS>I walk into school today and the girl that sits beside me
tells me that she lost 10 pounds from laughing at me.

<Max> I went to donate some money to bash.org today
<Max> I clicked the Paypal Donate button, and it comes up with
the message:
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 pending
<Max> *two minutes later*
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 rejected

<Jim> how big is 10 inches
<Jim> like on a computer screen
<ShyAway> somewhere around 22cm
<Jim> so how many inches would this be |
-------------------------------------------|
<ShyAway> 5?
<Jim> no way
<RiotingNerd> um that would depend on your screen resolution
<RiotingNerd> if i was using like 480*600 on a 21 inch monitor
that would be like 15 inches
<ShyAway> jim is measuring his man tool in hyphens
<Jim> ok if you were on windows xp how many inches would that
be
<RiotingNerd> jim what resolution sir
<ShyAway> LOL
<Jim> xp professional
<RiotingNerd> no sir
<RiotingNerd> that is not a resolution
<diospadre> rofl
<Jim> but it's the newest one
<ShyAway> rofl
<diospadre> thats an os you idiot
<Jim> oh

milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
darkwing14: what?
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration
date to continue this conversation

Some cool info: Tibeten monks, after twenty years or so of
practise in the Himalaya, control their brain stem - they can
control their heart beat, blood pressure etc.  After thirty
years they can connect to the internet purely by meditation,
setting TCP stacks in their neurons and stuff.  Right now I am
chatting with a monk who is sitting naked in an ice storm on
his towel, his only possesion.  He's using ipv6.

<DarkSpork> rock
<Mal> scissors
<Mal> ...
<Mal> DAMN!

(Momanon) I had a friend in the dorms that went into this
guy's room, put on "ice ice baby" at
full blast on repeat and locked the guy's room
(Momanon) The guy had death threats stapled to his door.
(Momanon) He didn't come back for like 3 hours.