bash.org archive

<CanyonMan> should it disturb me that the can of campbell's
baked beans
is labeled: "Now with more beans!"  ?
<CanyonMan> It's still a 12 ounce can
<CanyonMan> So they must have REMOVED something to have the
same weight and volume, but more beans?
<waltman> maybe they're using smaller beans

(+[CSI]ACE-340) anybody want to buy my motorcycle and then
loan me $3500
(@Ic3x^) what kind of motorcycle
(+[CSI]ACE-340) gsx-r1100
(@Ic3x^) erm, not my style... I don't like speed bikes
(+[CSI]ACE-340) it can go slow too

<omnius> omnius > join(#www(users()))
<RoBorg> omnius == "dork"
<omnius> omnius == "genius"
<omnius> if (RoBorg() == "omnius is a genius"){RoBorg ==
true;}elseif(RoBorg() == "omnius is a dork"){RoBorg ==
banned;}else{RoBorg == "dork";}
<RoBorg> if(omnius.ban("RoBorg")) {RoBorg.violence = 100;
RoBorg.rampage(); setTimeout("RoBorg.alive=false;", 360000);}
<omnius> omnius(RoBorg -> omnius.string = "omnius is a
genius");
<RoBorg> omnius >> recycle bin;
<omnius> omnius -> undelete(); omnius -> deltree("c:\RoBorg");
<RoBorg> brain://omnius/ == 404
<RoBorg> omnius.split(); omnius.slice(); omnius.explode()
<omnius> $salt = guid(); RoBorg = crypt("RoBorg",$salt);
<RoBorg> DELETE * FROM existance WHERE name='omnius';
<omnius> RoBorg = broken;
<RoBorg> with(omnius){break;}

<FatalError1> how to delete a directory in Linux?
<FatalError1> delete entire contents with one command?
* rm-rf isnt sure

<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her
to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit
during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out

<tomg> are there any programs that will scan a remote ip to
see if there are any common trojans on it (I want this for
GOOD use :))?
<JibberJim> Does anyone know where I can buy big guns, it's
okay it's for a GOOD use.
<Eibon> I'm looking for anthrax. Anyone know where I can find
some?

<Squee-G> You're old school? I beta tested the mother fucking
abacus!

<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex
offender databases of areas where I live?
<Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really.

<+Ivy[OmNi]> so.. you come here often? Lemme buy you a drink
<@Warlock[OmNi]> im a minor
<+Ivy[OmNi]> it's all good, I am a pedophile... I have candy

<drgonzo> dance like nobodys watching
<drgonzo> work like you don't need the money
<drgonzo> jack off like nobody's home

<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are
so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally.

<mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
<mEsHmAn> in mIRC
*** theForger sets mode: +b *!
*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away)

<O_6> here is my autobiography in 50 lines:
<O_6> wtf
<O_6> goddamn keyboard
<O_6> f;aowheif;oawuhe;faouw\hfe;oauwhfe!
<matts> interesting autobiography

<supers> race
<supers> goto
<supers> http:// So, HOT CHICKS with HUGE DICKS turn you on
<supers> You want to see BOYS FUCKED by REAL SHEMALES ?
<supers> er
<supers> http://216.65.26.84
<supers> damnit
<supers> ..

Milamber: hopefully that will get him outa trouble
Mick: yeah because that was in the top 20 of worst wiring jobs
Mick: nothign will beat number 1
Milamber: no. 1?
Mick: ooh that was amazing
Mick: it was a corolla
Mick: painted blue and red with housepaint outside
Mick: with green wheels
Mick: inside was painted blue with rattlecans including the
seats
Mick: there was rubbish and rotten food on the ground as high
as the bottom of the seat
Mick: the radio was a tape player that he wanted replaced with
a clarion cd tuner
Mick: tape player was held in with winnie blue cig packets,
some bandaids and chewing gum
Mick: to get the old one out they had smashed the dash
Mick: it was wired up with bits of house wire and extension
cords
Mick: they had hacked a hole in the firewall to run the power
for the radio straight off the start motor
Mick: which the wiries were sticky taped onto the starter
motor
Mick: the speakers in the back were sitting on the shelf being
held in by just the force of their own magnets as it had no
parcelshelf
Milamber: woooooow did you just tell him where to stick it?
Mick: I threw up from the smell in the car on the workshop
floor
Mick: gene had to help me up
Mick: he called the customer who was told to go home and burn
the car
Milamber: ROFL

<aberration> I hear they opened a wal-mart in china.... i can
imagine the people who shop there... "Hey I just made that
yesterday !"

<Peza> A terabyte is 1/8th of a bit, right?
<sungo> If it is, I have a lot less disk storage than I
thought

<iMike> i remember every time i closed my eyes
<iMike> id see your penis
<iMike> it was great
<iMike> i mean disgusting.

<Spock> have you ever noticed how closely the jehovas
witnesses resemble the sith?
<Spock> they always come in pairs of two
<Spock> one Master and one apprentice

<neotiger> jesus damn I'm bored
<neotiger> nothing to do all day but sit on IRC or play games
<neotiger> woo.
<^Migs^> are you at work or something?

ChronikG: Dude, I'm going to hell. I was typing in a porn site
and was about to hit enter when all of a sudden "Jesus Walks"
comes on the radio.
TragicEnd: did you still go to the site?
ChronikG: Yea, I figured Jesus just wanted to chill and watch
porn with me.

<@bhaak> commit early, commit often
<@bhaak> kids, that is only sound advice for programming, not
for marriage!
< kerio> there's no rollback in marriage, only blame

<BlackMoon> heh. kinda funny
<BlackMoon> we used to use internet over phone
<BlackMoon> now we use phone over internet
<DooD> IT'S SOVIET RUSSIA!
<DooD> in soviet russia, internet phones you!

[20:52] <MrSnuffles> hello
<MrSnuffles> anyone?
<MrSnuffles> talk to me
<MrSnuffles> ;(
<Bug> hello MrSnuffles
<MrSnuffles> no, not you

<spender> listen gentlemen
<spender> i will tell you a tale
<spender> of an interesting proof
<spender> it came to me in a vision
<spender> it proceeds as follows:
<spender> Claim: The set of functions f : |N -> { 0, 1 } is
uncountable
<spender> Proof:
* kronixx thinkz spender needs a gf
<spender> SILENCE

SilverD: hmm, how can you tell if you're running a 32 bit or a
64 bit OS?
Reilithion: Is your computer all new, fancy, and shiny?
SilverD: no
Reilithion: You're running 32 bit.

<andy> I wish I worked 22/7, then I could say I worked the pi
shift.

<echeese> Women are shitty programmers because they are
emotional and irrational.
<echeese> Man: My program won't work, I must have written it
incorrectly.
<echeese> Woman: My program won't work, the computer must hate
me. Let's go shopping.

<Sylffor> I prefer "blood-engorged mayonaisse cannon" or
"yogurt slinger"
<nitrifik_> ok. Sylffor knows too many colorful synonyms for
'dick'.
* Sylffor is a homosexual, remember?
<nitrifik_> you being gay is fine.
<nitrifik_> I draw the line at "blood-engorged mayonaisse
cannon".

<Llarack>  You are what you eat ^_^
<Iskandor>  I AM NOT A PUSSY
<Iskandor>  >_>
<Kletian>  yeah, you're a dick.

<SQB> It's coming in slow.
<SQB> What are you using on your end? Carrier pigeons? Smoke
signals? Talking drums?
<XselloutX> The neighbours.

<ecco> HELLO MICROSOFT WORD SPELLCHECK
<ecco> spellcheck results for 'adn': amputate, arthritis,
antidisestablishmentarianism, samurai, tissue, jetpack, George
Orwell

<NeoSmurf> So there I was waiting for my g/f, when I get a
message from some chick wanting to cyber with me.
<Merry> yeah...
<NeoSmurf> I told her cybering is for losers and I didnt want
to.
<NeoSmurf> So she tells me to tell her what to do with her
pussy.
<NeoSmurf> I tell her to wash it, and she just quits talking.
<Merry> LMFAO!

<CrazyClimber> top dangling modifier of the day:
<CrazyClimber> "A jet going 100 m.p.h. slammed into a deer,
which ruptured a wing fuel tank and dumped 70 gallons of gas
on the runway. "
<CrazyClimber> i knew about cows and methane, but...
<me_tew> Dammit, when are they going to REQUIRE that fuel
tanks on deer be moved away from the wings.

<biatch> who the hell are you gnostic
<gnostic> i am your god damn nemesis
<gnostic> any other questions?
<Madeleine> what are you wearing?

<Sharkey> Bah. Searching for 'harlequin hentai' on google
turns up my own page at the top of the list.
<Sharkey> This is happening me increasingly often when I go
looking for stuff.

[02:16:02] <iln> would you fuck a 15 year old.
[02:16:12] <AlmtyBob> the question is
[02:16:16] <AlmtyBob> would a 15 year old fuck me?

<antisocial_boris> hmm, my code isnt working, i need a break
<hapchi> well, keep in mind it must be inside a while or for
loop

<stupidMM> heh i admitted that freely at the pub once
<stupidMM> this chick came up to me and was like
<stupidMM> "so what do you do for fun?"
<stupidMM> and i was like
<stupidMM> "sit in a dark room and chat on irc at 3 in the
morning"
<stupidMM> she turned around and walked off
<stupidMM> and i was like . heh man i'm leet

<LexMortis> you know what would be nasty?
<LexMortis> if a pack of condoms said "tested on animals"

<avalon> can I touch you now?
<Nala> I still don't know you
-!- avalon is now known as dad
<dad> how about now?

<tastycake> anyone know of a voice changer program
<denke> ya
<denke> its called puberty

<rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting
<rabbit> i tried it once with my ex
<rabbit> and she farted in my mouth
<rabbit> and i puked on her ass
<rabbit> never again

< jgaddis> know what's funny?
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
bin/less
< jgaddis> -r-xr-xr-x  2 root  wheel  85740 Oct 30 06:36 /usr/
bin/more
<@LeBear> A green tapdancing kangaroo!
< jgaddis> more is really less
<@LeBear> jgaddis: more or less, of course
< patrickT> so less IS more! :)
<@SpamapS> less is not more, less is more than more
< jgaddis> less isn't more
< jgaddis> more is less
<@LeBear> SpamapS: how much more is less more than more?
<@SpamapS> no, more is less than less.
< themaxxz> less is indeed more
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more tha more is less than less.
<@LeBear> SpamapS: you mean less is more more than more is
less less?
<@SpamapS> LeBear: more or less

<Comatosis> wow this room is empty! we have it all to
ourselves :-p
<Alain> yup, just you and me :-)
* Comatosis gets naked
<Alain> uh, my mom is sitting here next to me, i dont want her
to think i chat with perverts
* Comatosis put his clothes back on
<Comatosis> sorry

<naet> i got my sat scores bak
<naet> 540 verball and 500 math
<naet> so thats liek 900 total
<Go> right

<[ric]> as the old joke goes, commodore is so bad a marketing,
if they bought KFC they would rename it "warm dead bird"

<johno> yeh not alot just finished cleaning and doin laundry.
<jess> hahaha ok
<johno> yuh
<johno> theres no women around for me to yell at them to do it
so i have to be the last resort
<johno> i yell at myself to do it
<johno> hit myself around the room
<johno> then start sobbing as i mop the floor with my bloodied
hair
<jess> wtf seriously who the fuck are you
<jess> thats fucked up who says that shit
<johno> yeah good point the blood WOULD make the floor worse.
<johno> thanks.
quit: johno (teaching that bitch how to clean properly)

<dmsndlr> You know, it was kinda hard being the only jewish
kid in a small town..
<dmsndlr> I'm tall, so I used to play in the church's
basketball team and everytime I stepped on court the ref went
"FOUL!"
<dmsndlr> And I was like "What, I didn't even do anything!"
<dmsndlr> "Well you did kill Jesus."

miLKm4n2kj: there's a police scanner in my room at work
miLKm4n2kj: it's fun to listen to
miLKm4n2kj: it would be more fun if i could memorize this
police code
IcEmanhAxx0r: lol
IcEmanhAxx0r: look at this one
IcEmanhAxx0r: 11-25X Female motorist needs assistance
miLKm4n2kj: that seems rather specific doesn't it?
miLKm4n2kj: 11-25Y = male?
IcEmanhAxx0r: it doesn't have it
miLKm4n2kj: of course
miLKm4n2kj: male motorists don't need assistance

<Foberts> Dude, you're an op on IRC.
<Foberts> You're a geek.
<tnoy> not really, i just gave the channel owner nude photos
of my sister
<Foberts> Wow.
<Foberts> Why do you have nude photos of your sister?

<Rebka> y'know what i dont get? Lesbians who date girls who
look like thye may as well be guys... I mean... WTF.. it's
like deciding you like skydiving, then buyng a submarine.

<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: And with the clicking, came the
ticking, of the page that was no more
<@MrAnderson> Renegade0FX: Quoth the server, 404

<AnimeMan> my bed is evil.
<norad> how so?
<AnimeMan> it's a spy.
<norad> how can a bed be a spy?
<AnimeMan> well at night.. it squeeks.
<AnimeMan> It's as if it's telling my mum, "he's masturbating,
he's masturbating!"

<mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my
day off
<Homeworld> but playing games is awesome
<mocker> I wanna play RL sometime
<Homeworld> rl is boring
<Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades.
<mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much
harder to get
<mocker> and not as fun
<Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain
XP and GP.
<mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit
<Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about
'em.
<Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income
producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how
to do that skillset."
<mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez

<helminthes> haikus are real gay
<helminthes> cause they put limitations
<helminthes> on syllables used

Thainthallas: oh... so... the other night, i go into software
etc.
Thainthallas: and i walk up and say "i want to reserve a copy
of metroid prime"
Thainthallas: the guy starts trying to talk to me about the
game, and asking stuff like if i was "really excited to see
the new metroid"
Thainthallas: i said "well... I'm really not sure about the
whole thing, but the girlfriend said 'me wantie' so I buyie"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants metroid prime?"
Thainthallas: "yes, yes she does"
Thainthallas: "she also says i need to buy vice city"
Thainthallas: "your girlfriend wants vice city?"
Thainthallas: by now, i start to realize that he's getting a
little jealous
Thainthallas: so i just say "yeah, and she's hot, too!"

<the_Speed_Bump> I have a severe, irrational phobia against
midgets with red hair who wear black trenchcoats and sell
kitchen cleaners in back alleys behind hotels whose names
start with the letter 'U'.
<the_Speed_Bump> Every day is a struggle.

(%nickster) my moms gonna be a helper at a school
(%nickster) for mentally handicapped people
(@starbucks_mafia) thats great
(@starbucks_mafia) you'll get to see her more often now

<r-j> ebay bought paypal for 1.5 billion dollars
<Doh_> wow
<smozoma> i wonder if paypal used ebay to sell themselves to
ebay?
<smozoma> and did ebay pay by paypal?
<r-j> lol

<Danelope> I'm trying to set a password, and they're telling
me it's invalid.
<Danelope> Because it can be "derived from another word".
<harb> Yeah.
<harb> It's just calling to passwd, I bet.
<Danelope> They're forcing you to use randomized passwords.
<Danelope> That's fucking retarded.  Especially for an
FTP-only account.
<harb> Heh.
<Danelope> "Duhhh.  You're creating an FTP-only account with
its home limited to a single non-primary folder on the Web
server!  Let's give you shit about a password!"
<Danelope> "Duhhh!  There's absolutely no way this information
can be used to compromise the system!  But we'll still harass
you here!"
<homeslice> Make it "Dr3amh0stsu|<s5hit"
<Danelope> "Sorry, that password can be derived from
'dreamhostsucksshit', which is a common password."

<Ironfrost> IRC does something to people
<Ironfrost> if Steven Hawkings went onto IRC he would be
talking about porn within 10 minutes

<Kerrija> On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you
are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches
away.

Tester Bob> Maybe Scott will get fired if we send really bad
things over his company's network
Tester Bob> Porn
Tester Bob> Fuck
Tester Bob> Vagina
Abdullah> "Bush/Cheney in '04"

<Swede> I WONDER WHAT GOD WAS THINKIN WHEN SHE CREATED THE
MAN 
<Arcadian> I wonder what MAN was thinking when he INVENTED
GOD...

<rade> so have u got a tree up yet?
<Selexion> like a file tree?
<Selexion> ?
<rade> a christmas tree..

* [obi-wan] is away, jedi meditation (sleep) [log:OFF]
[page:OFF]
<blazemore> i wonder when n0m is gonna come down from his
starwars trip
* [obi-wan] waves his hand in front of blazemore "i am not on
a starwars trip"

<Chyno> Oww...I was wanking so hard I got cramp in my leg.
<Critíc> Fascinating.
<Chyno> I thinked the guy liked it though.
<Critíc> ....
<Critíc> I don't think anybody saw that coming.

<kai> dwi
<pancakguy> dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> lol, dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> Is it possible to deal without intent? SHIT OFFICER,
I ACCIDENTLY SOLD SOME POT