bash.org archive

<Real^Quasar> anyway: my 56k is going half the speed it used
to
<cts> it might be your line
<Threeboy> check if anyone is stepping on your wire
<Real^Quasar> hmm
<Threeboy> but don't put the modem to your face, cause they
take thier foot off
<Threeboy> and you get sprayed with data.
<Real^Quasar> ...

(BR4M) you take the good with the bad
(BR4M) its like with the anorexic chicks
(JuJu`) well, bad outweighs the good, so its not worth it.
(Ravenclaw) anything outweighs an anorexic chick

<Eph> ahhhhhh tits , that`s thing I didn`t see for long now
...ahhhhhh
<honx> eph: how can you be on the internet and not see tits
for a long time?

<mertine> at least he didn't get KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL for
STABBING A TEACHER WITH A POCKETKNIFE BOOZ
<melvin> booz stabbed a teacher???
<Gabooz> HE STARTED IT

<MechaRedMage> My Geography teacher told it to me... He was in
mexico last year walking through an alley. Then three mexican
guys jumped him and asked for his money. So he gave them his
money ($.35) and then they looked at him and one guy pulled
out a dollar and gave it to him saying "You need this more
then we do."

<[GSF]Nitro> if that hot assistant had done a tumor check on
my nads, it would have been an embarrassing experience for
both of us
<Quizical> heh
<PunMeister> lol
<The_Spaniard> excuse me sir can you do something about that
erection
<[GSF]Nitro> unless she found a tumor.. that would kill the
mood pretty fast I bet
<[GSF]Nitro> 8=============D
<[GSF]Nitro> you have cancer
<[GSF]Nitro> 8D

Yarrow: Ok, this is weird. My sim brought a friend home from
work. They turned out to be very compatible, and are now
making out...
Prince_Herb: What's weird about that?
Yarrow: They're still wearing their work outfits and are llama
mascots for the local sport team.

<Midtown> my family is going down the tube fast...
<Punkrwker> y is dat?
<Midtown> i walk into my rents comp room and my 13 year old
bro is beatin off
<Midtown> so i run into my moms room laughing my ass off and i
say "go look at spence"
<Midtown> she goes "is he playing with himself again"
<Punkrwker> hahahahahahaha
<Midtown> i almost fucking died laughing, then i was like
...."again?"

(nexxai) looking at porn with your dad's girlfriend in the
room is weird

<Ozymandias> WTF is an accronym

March 4 2003 02:15AM:
<Miro-kun> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
<Miro-kun> damn lag.

<sparhawk85> if Electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?

<\> she was gonna come over and hang out tommorow
<\> but then... this stupid sept 11th thing
<\> and she has to go play in the band at some picnick
<\> hows that for you
<\> terrorists are cockblocking me.

<odd> last night i dreamt about being in Rio de Janiero.
<odd> the funny thing is, i've dreamt about being in Rio
before, and in this dream I said to myself, "wow, it's just
like in my dreams."

seamus: Monday is President's Day.
seamus: What are YOU going to get YOUR president?
seamus: I'm going to get mine a dictionary and a Clifford the
Big Red Dog book.

<Darkz> Can't get drunk, work soon
<Delusion> Your priorities disgust me.

<Eyal> i've been having a dilemma
<Eyal> what are better to play with
<Eyal> boobs or balls?
<Fidel-> boobs
<hex-> boobs
<Eyal> i mean, when they're yours
<Fidel-> balls
<hex-> balls

<baka-san> a byte to eat? *groan*
<baka-san> I ate at a suhsi place once that called their
pieces bits,
you could order a 4-bit nibble, and 8-bit byte, a 16-bit
halfword, or a
32-bit word.
<baka-san> Some of their large combo platters were named after
structs.
<baka-san> The TCP header that we ordered was very tasty.
<billf> "you know you're in silicon valley when...."

<KBC> "Welcome to America. You can easily find someone to
shoot you to put you out of your misery by screaming NIGGER
anywhere if you're white"
<Goonigoogoo > and if you're black?
<KBC> scream out "I'M BLACK!" and some police will shoot you

MotrCycleForLife: I think a cute movie idea would be about a
parrot who is raised by eagles. It would be cute because the
parrot can't seem to act like an eagle. After a while, though,
to keep the movie from getting boring, maybe put in some
pornography. Later, we see the happy parrot flying along,
acting like an eagle. He see two parrots below and starts to
attack, but it's his parents. Then, some more pornography.

<godix> Well, I know my NES was picky, if you didn't touch it
in the right way it wouldn't let you play anything at all.
Kinda like a woman actually...
<Aqua|Editing> I thought it was more like a man, because it
wouldn't work unless you blew it.

<||RoGuE||>: yesterday, my sister came to me and asked me
where were my parents, and she smelled like beer
<||RoGuE||>: and i said... Minni, by the smell of your breath
i can tell you have been drinking
<||RoGuE||>: and then she said... well, by the smell of your
breath i can tell you have been sucking cock, you bitch!
<[StOrM]>: what did you do rogue?
<||RoGuE||>: i brushed my teeth ¬_¬

<K418> Bash.org is false advertising.
<K418> I expected IRC to be all funny and interesting, instead
you're lucky if you can find a chanel people actually talk
in...
<K418> And then when you do it's full of complete idiots,
whose intelligence could probably be scientifically proven to
be equal to that of the average turnip, and horny geeks, whose
only interest is getting into your virtual pants.

*** Jei-Dijitaru has quit IRC (Do we really need warnings that
the lead in paint will kill you? Keep in mind that these
people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME
PAINT.)

<Freakdoom> you know
<Freakdoom> i love all my friends
<Freakdoom> your like a second family to me
<Freakdoom> just say my entire family was killed somehow
<Freakdoom> would you let me live with you?
<Freakdoom> :D
<Zy> of course
<Freakdoom> yay :D
* Freakdoom is away: killing family

<Deco> Two pakis in a Golf tried to cut in in front of me and
nearly hit my car. Then they followed me even though it was
their fault. They stopped next to me at the next set of
traffic lights and the passenger said "I'll follow you home".
I replied "Follow me to your mom's". You've never seen me
drive as fast as I did trying to get away from them.
<Deco> I loved the look of his face, though.

<theSpear> I am NOT gonna donate sperm for money. What would I
do if, in 18 years, the kid looked me up? I'd have to tell him
that he was beer money.

<BlackDeth> Now playing: with myself

* Khross flies a 757 into andy
* andy flies a 757 into Khross's 757.
* aen blocks them both with twin towers.
<andy> SO THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED

<Linuxgeek> How do i find the model of my card?
<Serena[T]> your nick is misleading, seriously

<Hybridfusion> i found out last week that if you see a big
black man who works for BFI (garbage truck / pickup company)
<Hybridfusion> dont ask him if BFI stands for "big fucking
idiot"
<Volte> did he say "why as a matter of fact it does and id
appreciate if you didnt call attention to it thanks"
<Hybridfusion> he threw a metal pipe at me and i ran like a
motherfucker

<Sword_Saint> God, I hate conspiracy theorists
<Sword_Saint> I almost wish they were right
<Sword_Saint> so the government would abduct and kill them
<Sword_Saint> and shut them the fuck up

<tah_twig> How do you know I'm NOT a hot, slutty girl?
<go_amd_go> because your here

<Jans> goodbye everybody
<Jans> i've got to go!
<Xi> gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
<Jans> mama! ooohoohooooo!
<Xi> i dont wanna die
<Jans> I sometimes wish i'd never been born at all
<Jans> [guitar break]
<Xi> i see a little sihlloetto of a man
<TilK> just woke up
<TilK> life is hard
<Jans> scaremous scaramous, will you do the fandago?
<Xi> thunderbolts and lightning
<Xi> very very frightning me
<Jans> Galileo
<Jans> Galileo
<TilK> ?
<Jans> Galileo figaro!
<TilK> u guys had a trip ?

<Morris> what a dick
<iln> are you looking at gay porn again?

<NK|Snipe>_____/\_____\o/_____
<NK|Snipe>^Shark Attack :)

<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB

<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future

wildcanary55: go away
xzet27: why?
wildcanary55: I'm working
xzet27: this is ur boyfriend
wildcanary55: this is your girlfriend's mother!
xzet27: o
xzet27: sry

<fatcat> Someone wrote <shit> on the outside of a stall door
in the bathroom, and </shit> on the inside.

<Lethalmartini> tawnee stone rocks
<Lethalmartini> shes like, our age
<bobrooney> never heard of her
<Lethalmartini> shes this girl from texas whos 18 and knows
how to do what a woman does best
<bobrooney> laundry?

SherbyCool: not tuesday
exeblah: ok
exeblah: um
SherbyCool: tuesday the world ends
exeblah: wednesday?

<Numi> i m so FUCKE§ING WASTED FUCK
<Haddock> You have to be pretty wasted to typo §

<chris`> ever notice how the mini pizza pringles cans dont
have a lot of pizza
stuff on them but the normal sized ones do?
<Prae> to make an observation like that
<Prae> you must weigh at least 500lbs

~ Deft I suck cock! msg me for price list
(Deft) uhm ignore that

<@JackD> ooh, a app store on its way for windows :) how nice
<J700> it's called piratebay

<squire> can anyone here help me, i just dled a movie and i
dunno what to do
<kokoro> have you tried...watching it?

<Neil> Whit, if you have nothing better to do, please dont
spend time repeating what other people say in an irc channel,
for your own fun, its quite annoying.
<Whit> wheet, eff yew heave notink beta toodew, police
doughnut spin tyme rear-painting wot order peepul sail un hey
eye arr sea chang hell foo yew un fon, hits quit annayin

<pHluid> GF the other day said something about me not washing
my hands after I take a piss
<pHluid> "First of all, I don't piss on my hands. Secondly,
you put the damn thing IN YOUR MOUTH, I think I'll be allright
to touch it every now and then."
<pHluid> That shut her up.

MisVampyre: i'm so outta questions....i'm horrible at asking
them
rhys_rhaven: questions are cute
rhys_rhaven: but the real way to understand a person is simple
rhys_rhaven: you wind a cord around the top of the biggest
pair of stairs you can find
rhys_rhaven: and then you wait till a person is about to walk
down the stairs, where they will obviously trip and have
horrible things happen to them
rhys_rhaven: and then you walk 20 feet way. and you put a
thing of frozen bacon in a skillet
rhys_rhaven: and you make the skillet so it can only be heated
by a locked drum underneath it, which can be lit only by a
single pilot light, which you then line with det cord trailing
to a small mortar next to it. which you fill with kittens
rhys_rhaven: hungry, meowing kittens
MisVampyre: oh. my. god.
rhys_rhaven: And lastly you put a timer on the  on the propane
for  the bacon. So they have a choice
rhys_rhaven: save the person
rhys_rhaven: save the kittens
rhys_rhaven: or eat the bacon
MisVampyre: you're awesome
MisVampyre: omg..eat the bacon
rhys_rhaven: Thats it. I love you

<Dave123> So I there s this virgin girl  I know, she is
Inconceivable
<Turtleman> no she's unbearable
<NINJAmes> no you idiots, she's Impregnable

<Brianith> They're the same type of people that think because
I know computers, that I'm a hacker. And because I'm a hacker,
I can use a computer to tell their refrigerator to sprout
legs, walk to me, and tell me their credit card numbers.

<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive
loop of stupidity.

<Jlax> So we were watching this D.A.R.E. video in health
<Jlax> and they did that thing that they always do.
<Jlax> You know, when they're like,
<Jlax> "If you smoke, THIS will happen to YOU!"
<Jlax> And then they show a picture of a black person.

ashp: OMG MATT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MATRIX
ashp: AFTER THE BIG SHOWDOWN WITH SMITH
ashp: RUFUS DROPS OUTTA THE SKY AND SAYS "MOST EXCELLENT DUDE"
ashp: and it was all just an excellent adventure

<parox> man near killed myself carrying a 60kg UPS today!!!
<parox> had to carry it up some steps, put the back out I
think
<bytraper> 60kg's?? I know how you feel dude... I once carried
that weight in each arm once while I was running
<parox> what the hell were you doing carring that sort of
weight while you were running??? you in training or something?
<bytraper> no I was stealing the stuff and somebody saw me...

* WestBeach pretends hes an earthquake and flies around the
room
<WestBeach> oops
<WestBeach> i meant to type...
<WestBeach> uhhh
<WestBeach> airplane

<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have
you seen our CD's?

<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to
put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health

<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Saber, just imagine yourself being
gangbanged by moths.  This is what will happen to you if you
don't behave.
<Saber> what
<Saber> I didn't do anything
<Saber> and I have a bat
<Saber> I'll fight them off
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> That's not going to help a lot.
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Can't you just feel their tiny cocks
writhing against your skin, Saber?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Just straining to reach an orifice?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Do you like it?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Does it feel good?
<Saber> That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me

<truefalse> I was at the bus stop and saw a poster of
Voldemort with 'HP 7' printed on it.
<truefalse> Kind of spoils the ending when you know he's low
on hit points.

<Weiki> sex is icky
<Weiki> when you have it all too much.
<Weiki> You'll get to the point where youll actually want a
pizza over sex, at least for me anyways.
<BrianJohnson> I bet people in Ethiopa want pizza over sex
<BrianJohnson> They must have sex an awful lot
<Lanus> Let them suck you off, and solve two problems at once!
<Novasol> That's quite possibly the most disturbing solution
for ending world hunger I've heard yet.

<normaliamnot> u ppl here about this building, i think it
called, trade center, or big trade center or something?
<normaliamnot> it broken

<Geothermal> too many kitties in my life
<Kashan> masturbate more
<Geothermal> that's your solution to everything damn it
<Geothermal> "Just keep whackin' Geo!"
<Geothermal> well I'm tired of that kinda attitude

(harm_) math has never been my strongpoint
(harm_) or english
(harm_) or school
(harm_) or girls
(harm_) or life

lonelychic0190: WHY DO BOYS LIKE RECIEIVING ORAL BUT THEY DONT
LIKE GIVING GIRL ORAL
Goat Desecration: BECAUSE WOMEN CAN'T TALK WITH A DICK IN
THEIR MOUTH

<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> DRUGS ARE BAD
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> unless you are sick
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or depressed
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or having trouble sleeping
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need to stay awake
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you need a little inspiration
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to win a sporting event
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when trying to look cool
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> or when you're just not feeling 100%
<SUPERHAPPYDUDE> but other than that they are BAD

<My`Albanian`Ass> dude, a fat chick from mcdonals brought me
my food and she said 'sorry for the wait' and i said 'don't
worry you'll lose it' and she gave me a smirk :/

<Nekroe> when any of yous were at high school, did any idiots
ever knee you in the arse, and go: 'YOUVE JUST BEEN BOOFED UP
THE ARSE BY AN ELEPHANT!'?
<than> when I was at high school, some elephants came up
behind me and stuck their dicks in my ass and said "YOU'VE
JUST BEEN KNEE'D IN THE ARSE BY A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!"
<Nekroe> mmm. clever
<than> I didn't think it was clever. I thought it was a bit
juvenile. Those elephants should have known better