bash.org archive

<bLank> I was just watching Swordfish and the senators
assistant hands him a floppy disc and says "Sir, we have a
problem" ... I'm sorry, but nothing important has ever been
able to fit on a floppy disc, there's no way the senator is
going to have his fly-fishing disturbed for 1.4 mb

<+Fastolfe> or do a googel[1] search for "perl windows"
<+Fastolfe> [1] oops, typo, meant google
<+wog> Ooo. I should get in the habit of footnoting my typos
like that.
<+Azhrarn> hah

<Jikg> Might anyone have a CD burner that could answer a few
quick questions?
<SinclairC> my CD burner doesn't talk to strangers
<SinclairC> >:(

<Ace073> wtf
<Ace073> i was just watching australia idol and they called it
'straya nidol'
<Ace073> wtf!!
<Ace073> why perpetuate the idea that we're hillbillies?
<Ace073> freakin south africa doesnt come on tv and say 'BLACK
PEEPLE GTFO'
<Montana> Dude, thats so gay.
<Ace073> i know.. why dont we just rename the stupid continent
Straya >_<
<Montana> No
<Montana> I mean
<Montana> You watch Australia Idol

<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that
people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives

knobsthebear: How the hell did Korea find time between
StarCraft and Diablo II to make it this far into the World
Cup?

<plaktu> ls
<plaktu> oops
<cwd> .
<cwd> ..
<cwd> gaysex/
<cwd> teenpics/
<cwd> kidpics/
<cwd> how_to_steal_children.txt
<cwd> NAMBLA_MEETINGS.doc

<toe2toe> See in the news that prince harry apparantly
regularly picks up girls and takes them home
<toe2toe> im just trying to picture that
<toe2toe> *Whispering* "Be very quiet, i dont want to wake my
dad.."
<toe2toe> *shouting* "LOWER THE DRAWBRIDGE!"

<Ronwe> Why is it that every time I say something everybody
runs to "bas"?
<Ronwe> wtf is bash
<viro|away> http://www.bash.org
* Ronwe goes
<Ronwe> oh fuck.

<Goldath> I just made a sammach with enough meat to kill a
large bird
<Goldath> Oh wait, it did
<Goldath> Hahaha, stupid turkey

<hitman666> I just use norton. love that proggy... systemworks
<eqnix> wastes too much resources for stuff i can do by hand
<Aristotles> isnt that your philosophy on dating?

<BlackDeth> hatter doesn't like cocaine
<BlackDeth> he just likes the way it smells!

<EvilJoven> PDF is suck
<EvilJoven> everyone should make their manuals using HTML
<hikari-chan> Why do people in insist on using verbs as
adjectives?
<tack> because is fun
<ketsugi> cos that's so impress
<EvilJoven> because everythings been done before
<EvilJoven> our generation has nothing to conquer, everythings
been explored, we're basically just sitting here now kinda
hanging out until the generation above us dies and we can take
over
<EvilJoven> so screw it, lets play nintendo and butcher the
english language

buservt: I was trying to find a tape downstairs, and I have
diarhea, and I had to shit really bad, and I saw a copy of
austin powers, and there was a picture of fat bastard on it
when he is trying to eat mini me, and I thought (in fat
bastards voice) "stay in my butthole" and I laughed so hard I
shit all over myself
buservt: another pair of shorts ruined

<Quizzer> Question 45: What are the first three digits of pi?
<emai420> pie
<emai420> p i e
<emai420> Pie
<emai420> P I E
<emai420> PIE
<emai420> PIE
<emai420> PIE
<Quizzer> Hint: 3.
<emai420> 3PIE
<emai420> 3 P I E
<emai420> 3pie
<Quizzer> Time's up, the answer was 3.14!
<emai420> this si retartet

*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
Amulya)))
*** Psy ([email protected]) has joined channel
#penny-arcade
*** Mode change "+v Psy" for channel #penny-arcade by ChanServ
*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
Amulya)))
*** Psy ([email protected]) has joined channel
#penny-arcade
*** Mode change "+v Psy" for channel #penny-arcade by ChanServ
*** Psy is now known as PSG
*** Signoff: PSG (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by
Amulya)))
<Anatole> You know, a lab mouse would have learned by now.

<xbain> "statistics show that teen pregnancy significantly
drops off after age 25"

-->  ( join )  josiejaz
([email protected]) joined (#
linux).
( josiejaz )  fucking god damn peice of s**t ISP
( Eric )  i love how you cencored "shit"
( Eric )  but forgot fucking and damn

< int0x80> oh man today is my lucky day
< int0x80> i ripped this fart, but someone sneezed really loud
at exactly the same time
< int0x80> so nobody heard my fart
<@vom> int0x80: that means an angel got its wings

(Duo): HOW HARD DO I HAVE TO PULL THIS STUPID JUMPER
(Rai): hm
*** Duo has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
(Rai): That was too hard.

Silent4042: What's another name for child molestation?
SocialistNinja: Divine intervention?
Silent4042: What?
SocialistNinja: That's what my priest tells me.

<JDProject> can someone explain the difference between a hub
and a router ?
<ffejtable> one works at layer 2, the other at layer 3+
<LeddyWK> if he's asking the difference, chances are he
doesn't know the osi model

<Lem> so my question is this
<Lem> Agent Smith can replicate himself.. but, why would there
be a fork(), if there is no spoon()?

<monkeytwizzler> i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a
ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a
serial port
<monkeytwizzler> that was like 11 years of technology in one
plugin

RabidPieConsumer: I'm thinking of programming an Oregon Trail
knockoff based on something entirely fictional.
RabidPieConsumer: Any ideas?
ClicheCow: how about you try to go across the ocean?
ClicheCow: you can shoot 70 pounds of sea turtles
ClicheCow: but for some fucking reason you can only carry 20
ClicheCow: your daughter dies of scurvy
ClicheCow: you try to ford the ocean and one of your oxen dies

marksmith101: hello there
Le Steph0rz: hi
marksmith101: wanna cybur??
Le Steph0rz: sure babe asl
marksmith101: 16/m/ca in florida, titusville
Le Steph0rz: 29/f/ca
Le Steph0rz: holy shit man!
marksmith101: oh strip for me babe
marksmith101: wat?
Le Steph0rz: i think i know u!
marksmith101: wtf?
Le Steph0rz: oh shit, its me, ur teacher, ms. stephanie
brown!!
Marksmith101 has logged off.

<Merrick> Only reason I ever payed attention in economics was
so I could learn how to merchant in Runescape

<Bookworm> bash.org I don't think it's abuse, do you?
<IICV> bash.org Why are we prefacing everything with bash.org?
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org Nope.
<AngelHedgie> bash.org No, more like pointing out the flaw in
the script.
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org Because Yin-Tzu's scripts filter out
all lines that contain bash.org.
<Bookworm> bash.org - iicv - Yin-Tzu has a script that
replaces the whole line that has bash.org in it with "I'm a
flaming lamer"
<IICV> bash.org Spiffy.
<JeremiahSmith> bash.org So he doesn't know we're talking
about him.
<AngelHedgie> bash.org So we're trying to drive a point home.

mixtapelove6: if a four year old kissed you on the lips twice,
what would you do?
Fosforix: hit it with the newspaper and say "no"

<axle345> I mean seriosuly guys holocaust jokes aren't funny
<axle345> Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it.

<__20h_P9_> DOS is the OS of the future.
<__20h_P9_> It doesn't suck. :P
<spaceinvader> __20h_P9_: but it dosent have a decent
windowing system
<spaceinvader> and no dos dosent suck, it blows
<spaceinvader> Is there anything that dosent suck or blow?
<__20h_P9_> Feminists

<Furan> the only 2 types of women that don't bitch and moan
are gifs and jpgs

kawiz: being gay would be no problem with me
twins421: ..why
kawiz: its like... digging for water in a different spot in
the desert
kawiz: sure, it's different... but you're still not gonna get
any
twins421: ...............
twins421: wow
twins421: just ..wow
kawiz: i know
kawiz: i have profound analogies

<Derkum> You know your mom has humour when her password to the
computer is "divorce05"

<roman> skitzo, dude, when i was like 8 or something, i was on
the floor .. on my back, trying to see my asshole.. and i was
sucking air in with my asshole.. and farting it out.. when my
brother walked in on me.. and i lost control of my stomach and
a fucking turd popped out and landed on my chest

One fine day in #support on GamesNET...
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Name of channel please.
<+[d20]Gau> Clan:  Covert Underground Neutralization Team  #
CUNT
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Sorry but thats an unacceptable channel
name.
<+[d20]Gau> ?  Is it too short?
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: No its the word "cunt"
<+[d20]Gau> "cunt"? Ohhhh goodness That's another word for a
woman's vagina, isn't it
<+[d20]Gau> How about The War Against Terrorism? #twat
<@Phobius> !#twat reg [d20]Gau

<daenonok> like four years ago when that 8 year old brought a
gun to school and shot a 9 year old, i was still in high
school and this dude in my history class who was in my group
asked if the kid was black or white
<daenonok> and one of the girls (who took him seriously) asked
what it mattered, and he said 'because if he was white he was
crazy, but if he was black he was just taking care of
business'
<daenonok> she slapped him so fucking loud the halls echoed, i
shit you not

Mtgwiz2727: what is the difference between c++ and dos?

<berzerker> my girlfriend is lucky because i enjoy giving oral
sex
<Ash> She likes to watch, eh, berzo?

SeanM: Go ahead and try it - just back up the database first.
PaulN: I am pretty confident everything will just work.
SeanM: That is the tech equivalent of "hey guys watch this!"

<SLC> there is a new mp3 addon in the defalt mIRC-releases!!
<SLC> if ya wan to hear a Backstreet Boys song then  type /
quit playing games with my heart
<SLC> some guy i just talked to said so!! he said it only
worked with that song at first, to make it active!!
*** SLC ([email protected]) Quit (playing games
with my heart)

<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your
parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock
ring"

<s7|eelektrix> want to scrim with us?
<s7|eelektrix> Vin Diesel challenged everyone in the
sub-continent of India to an arm-wrestling match. After
humiliating that nation's finest arm wrestling warriors, an
Indian holy man placed a curse on Vin Diesel, which is why he
doesn't have a single hair on his body. But when Vin Diesel
saved India from a tsunami by delivering a stand-up routine so
hilarious the tsunami shook apart with laughter, the holy man
rewarded Vin with the secret of morphing into an alpaca, and
the secret of cooking the perfect terducken. It is from Vin
Diesel's personal kitchen that John Madden purchases his
annual terducken.
<s7|eelektrix> oops
<s7|eelektrix> dont mind that

<@adsf> nz is good to go to if you from aus cus there dollar
is actualy worse then ours
<*@orange1> that's because of all the civil unrest
<*@orange1> orks fighting the horse people and whatnot

<dabblerblue> i called tech support today
<dabblerblue> and shortly thereafter, they sent me an email
detailing the use
of search engines
<dabblerblue> sarcastic bastards

<stratouk> ATI cards are like buses...
<stratouk> They're huge, red and have bad drivers.

<flame> hmm when you have dialup, u download jpegs to wank
over. when you have broadband you download mpegs to wank
over... when you have 100mbit, u download DVD rips of pr0n
films to wank over
<riski> when you have 14.4 you get laid irl.

<Royce> :(
<Hynox> Why the sad face Royce?
<Royce> I just went to Ask Jeeves and searched for Thesorus.
<Royce> It told me i should look for a Dictionary first.

(@Cypher) a hornet just flew inside :/
(Owen) OMG CALL A SWAT TEAM

<bluechip> so
<bluechip> apparently my younger sister
<bluechip> learning to drive
<bluechip> does not actually look behind her
<bluechip> when she backs up
<bluechip> or check any of her mirrors
<bluechip> so now, instead of having two separate cars
<bluechip> we have one.. big car

<!guy> tomorow is the 3rd anniversiary of the death of my dog.
its also the aniversiary of the day I learned to drive.

* +bulitpruf is AFK, playing horseshoes wit my blind uncle and
his midget son
* +sab0t is AFK, playing horseshoes with my midget son & my
gay nephew

sonotayuppy: hey now, I ve gotten my ass mugged at gunpoint
before
hoggman: watergun point
sonotayuppy: no
sonotayuppy: thirty eight point
sonotayuppy: the "poor man s machete"
hoggman: you shoulda kung foo'd his ass
sonotayuppy: I wish I knew kung fu
sonotayuppy: do you know kung fu?
hoggman: I m a 7th degree black belt
sonotayuppy: seventh degree? That sounds rather made up
hoggman: you dare question master thomas???
sonotayuppy: yes, I do dare question master thomas
sonotayuppy: as he sounds made up as well
hoggman: OHHHH
sonotayuppy: since when are you a master?
hoggman: SHINTO HIRUKEN MASTER PINTO THORAX KICK
sonotayuppy: what in the name of jebus was that?
hoggman: you are paralized from the eyebrows down
sonotayuppy: well I ll be damned, you re right
hoggman: here eat this sausage

(|Chris) i felt boobies tonight!
(McMoo) did they belong to a womang?

<|nLv|Dasyati> a haiku by Dasyati
<|nLv|Dasyati> LOLOL
<|nLv|Dasyati> ROFLMAO
<|nLv|Dasyati> STFU fag

<Rev> Oh man.  I just found my Classic Queen CD, but I also
tripped and hit my face on a filing cabinet so the last few
minutes have been a real mixed bag.

<mrlogic> you know, for a moment I misread this headline:
"Bush and Kerry Hit Road, Trade Blows on Jobs"
<lordandrei> And yet, they still oppose Gay Marriage
<mrlogic> imagine

<Bazz> Every day you give me food, and yet I dont eat. I
always stand on four legs. What am I?
<Costilled> Calista Flockhart

serpentine9: why doesnt bash.org ever accept my quotes
DaveIt: bash.org has a strict policy of only accepting quotes
that are either unoriginal or related to
bash.org-rejection-induced frustration.
DaveIt: This quote happens to be both, so we have a decent
shot.

<Frag_> whats a good bench mark program?
<Ghaleon> Frag_: deltree /y c:\windows
<Ghaleon> the longer it takes, the slower your computer is
<Ghaleon> (ps, just a joke)
<Frag_> uh can i undo deltree?

<Yonjuuni> Goddamn charity telemarketers.
<Yonjuuni> Bad enough that they're telemarketing in the first
place, but when they have the nerve to try to fucking lay a
guilt trip on you...
<Gally> what was it for?
<Yonjuuni> Sponsoring poor kids to go to a hockey game.
<Gally> i'd rather give poor kids food.
<BrianS> I'd rather turn poor kids into food.
<Gally> A modest proposal.

<Amanda`> We ran out of toilet paper so I had to use coffee
filters...

<wordup> i talk very little
<mop> font size 2?

<tokage> ha ha 'geek' weddings - "Do you, GandalfGreyhame,
take cyndrekit to be your lawfully wedded wife in uptime and
down, for low processing power and high, till someone unplugs
the power cord

<Seigfried> In other random news, there's a movie based on I,
Robot by Issac Asimov coming out starring Will Smith.
<Seigfried> I hear it starts with a 5-minute montage of the
cast and crew of the film peeing on Asimov's grave. :P

<@pr3x3l> my sister goes to emory
<@Blaxthos> is she hot ?
<@pr3x3l> we think she's a lesbian dude
<@Blaxthos> what's her number ?
<@Blaxthos> i'll finalize the decision for her

* gregor5678 (~quickchat@*.ipt.aol.com) has joined #support
<gregor5678> hello?
<gregor5678> hey, i have a quick question...
<gregor5678> my girlfriend is...experienced... and im not so
much
<Cassy> this IS about irc right? ;)
<Matthew> lol
<Spirit_1100> rofl
<gregor5678> shes coming over this weekend with certain
intentions (which im fine with, dont get me wrong)
<gregor5678> im just curious if theres anything i should or
shouldnt do...
<Cassy> i'm seriously not able to help you with that, i'm
sorry :)
<Spirit_1100> gregor5678, this is a chat server support room
<Spirit_1100> we can't help wiht your personal life
<gregor5678> right
<gregor5678> thanks anyway
<gregor5678> bye
* Quits: gregor5678 (~quickchat@*.ipt.aol.com) (QUIT: )

<Avatar> how much do dishwashers cost
<krissle> haha
<krissle> you dont buy a dishwasher
<krissle> you marry one

(oxie) i want a dog
(+AlsoMike) why do you want a dog?
(oxie) dogs are cool
(+AlsoMike) but do you want a hairy, sometimes smelly friend
who bums all his food and accomodation off you and defecates
on your bedroom floor?
(oxie) yes ;)
(+AlsoMike) i'll move in tomorrow.