bash.org archive

<Ale> they are closing down both streets that access my house
(I live on a city street conrer)
<Apaul> You live on a street corner?
<Apaul> Work there too? :)
<Ale> Yes, I do
<Ale> shit

<vqhmdragn> rawk!
<S4murai> exactly
<vqhmdragn> twat I cunt hear you I must have a ear infucktion,
plz cum closer
<S4murai> I too have an ear infucktion butits ok, I have a
pill to take every half whore
<vqhmdragn> I'm afriad I cunt afwhored such a pill :(
S4murai> a little less expenisive is a small prick to your
finger. Tit's the Doctwhore's bill that'll clit you in the
end.
<vqhmdragn> so twats up s4murai?
<S4murai> nut much, you?
<vqhmdragn> just chillin out
<vqhmdragn> wait, it's midnut, I just turned 18, that's twats
up
<S4murai> really? that's ballsome!
<vqhmdragn> yea now I can buy cigs legaly, I cuntent bewhore

<umop|apisdn|MoD> oh my god
<umop|apisdn|MoD> i forgot to wipe my ass
<umop|apisdn|MoD> brb

<WillaCuz> shervin did u say u had a woman?
<shervin> WillaCuz: yeah but its losing pressure, i think it
has a hole or something

Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats.  They serve no practical purpose
other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when
they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage
disposal. It never ends!

<Blum> I was with a girl once and she pointed and laughed. She
said "Who do you think you're going to satisfy with THAT?"
<Blum> I said "Me"

<k3tty> nfi
<APULYG> Whats nfi?
<TBC> no fucking idea.
<APULYG> Well shut up then if you dont know
* TBC beats the crap out of APU for being s00pid.

* jesuschrist ([email protected]) has joined #tool
<@`2L> *** jesuschrist is back (has been gone for 2003 years 3
months, 28 days)

<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't fuckin around!

<NrgSpoon> what's the difference between an orange?
<Doragon> one of them doesn't
<smh> best joke evr

<_God> i'm gonna just send in a quote that says: Hi bash mod.
what's up dude? sure must suck to read so much shit, ey? oh
well, i'm gonna go. peace
<Proffa> or you could go to a public library and flood it with
"WHY WONT YOU APPROVE ME"
<Proffa> like, 300 of those
<Proffa> :-)
<_God> haha
<_God> that's pointless spamming
<_God> i want to just send in a little "hello, thanks for your
efforts" message
<Proffa> their efforts that always deny you?
<_God> ....good point.
<_God> Revised: Dear bash mod. Suck it.

<|sco|t> doesn anyone in here know a good amount of php
<Jumper> |sco|t, the #php guys do ;)
<JibberJim> |sco|t go to #php
<[ric]> and #women is full of women, go figure
<JibberJim> and #teens is full of 40 year old men.

<Ryft> I made some brownies... want one?
<bnyfoofoo> you baked?
<Ryft> No, are you?

* Bassfiend flicks to "The Avengers" for a bit of Uma...
< planetWayne> nah - shes a bit ... ugly..
< planetWayne> although I liked killbill#
* Bassfiend doesn't want to talk to planetWayne ever again.
< Bassfiend> Uma is my love!!!
< planetWayne> her eyes are not set properly.
< Bassfiend> Correct ...
< Bassfiend> ... they should be four inches above the level of
my penis.

* Hotaru dances more.
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> o-<
<Hotaru> I suck at dancing.
<Vulpes> God help us if you ever try breakdancing.
<Hotaru> o/`>-

<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away)
got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got
on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided
it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the
dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone
turned back around...that haunts me

<Null> hittman
<Hittman> hi Null
<Null> you are a load that should have been swallowed ;/
<rb_> 20 bucks says he doesnt get it
<Null> i see your 20 and raise you 20
<Hittman> load
<Hittman> ?
<rb_> YES!!!
<rb_> I WIN

<Jules--> i mainly listen to battle music
<Jules--> which is basically rappers
<Jules--> insulting each other and calling each other fags
<Jules--> its like irc set to a beat

<Varka> cds are made of pikachu skins
<Orcinus> is that why they turn to lightning in the microwave?
:D
<Varka> Yes.

<@Longcat> Could a blue screen of death constitute being
defenestrated?
<Edible> Thrown out of Windo-
<Edible> ...
* Edible goes to cry.

<~Kiramon> no i just need random fake gaelic words
<&Ondore|Away> Allium sativum L.
<&Ondore|Away> No, wait.
<&Ondore|Away> That's garlic.

<Mac_BETA> I will give you 4 gigs o pr0n for yer mercedes

<Silly-Wurk> how ironic.  Shell Oil claims that using
foodcrops to make biofuels would be 'morally inappropriate' as
long as there are people starving in the world.
<Taffer> an oil company has morals now?
<Taffer> will they be shipping these foodcrops to starving
people in empty oil barrels/tankers?
<WyldWork> Absolutely, along with barrels of unrefined love
and good will

<Yaksha> What's a Jewish conundrum?
<justin> I dunno?
<Yaksha> Free ham
<justin> that's not a conundrum, you take the ham and donate
it to charity and get the tax write off.

<CactusJac> I remember the days when I was angry at the world
for no apparent reason
<CactusJac> Then I grew up and found a reason: PEOPLE ARE
FUCKING STUPID AND SHOULD BE ROUND UP AND SHOT IN THE HEAD

<ben> on sep 11th dalnet issued a statement offering
condolences and saying how they were non-politicial
<ben> and you almost believe them until you see it was issued
by Melech which is the hebrew word for king
<ben> i.e. israeli contacts, etc
<ben> NON POLITICAL MY ARSEY
<grifferz> wow, and like, the way bahamut is the name of a
dragon, maybe all these names have real meaning and dalnet
staff are really hyperdiemnsional dragon warriors from the
planet Oper!!
<grifferz> fucking scary eh
<ben> yes
<grifferz> or, they could be just nicknames.  I DO NOT KNOW

roadapathy: I never had any sisters when I was growing up. It
sucks.
roadapathy: I had to find out how stupid girls are on my own.

<shyster> the other day
<shyster> my girlfriend asked me about my wildest fantasies
<shyster> I probably shouldn't have told her they all involved
other women

<xwred1> hmm... do you recommend I replace windows me?  I have
lots of friends, I can wares lunix for free.  thats what
hackers use, isn't it?
<TheOnyx> You want to warez linux?
<xwred1> you have to, I hear that unix stuff is expensive. 
windows me came with my gateway, I tried to ask them for lunix
but they told me not to get it because it was buggy and stuff

%^tiNee^ takes aubz credit card and slides it between aubz's
butt cheeks
[%^tiNee^] *denied*
[&goat] what do you mean denied
[&goat] aubz' ass takes everything

<Gecko> lmao, my mates download of "master and commander" is
infact "anal agency"
<EmPleh> lol
<Gecko> wait a minute
<Gecko> this isn't a real agency at all
<Gecko> they're just having sex
<Gecko> i'm suprised this lot ever get any work done

<Shawn_Michaels> u no, the moon landing was fake, right?
<t3hpwn> Only in the US will you find people who think the
moon landing was fake and wrestling is real...
* Shawn_Michaels kicks t3hpwn in the nads
<t3hpwn> The truth hurts, eh?

<Squizzle> BIONIC PENIS BEAMS.
<JDigital> Or 'sperm', as they're more commonly known.

<Mohjo> your puny sacks cannot hold me
<Mohjo> ... that made me sound like an overly large testicle

<Quag7> Is there a way of enforcing a specific permissions
octal on any new files created in a directory, irrespective of
a user's umask?
<raf> I don't discuss philosophy on IRC

<RighteousSuicide> I was running around today like a retard
<RighteousSuicide> and I hear a BANG
<RighteousSuicide> i couldn't figure out what it was
<RighteousSuicide> then I noticed I had run into a dumpster

<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
<Ratty`> COME ON BRAZIL!!
* ToRMeNTeD comes on brazil
<Ratty`> ergh
<Ratty`> it's all sticky
<ToRMeNTeD> you told me to

Joe: Here's an issue I never had to worry about in CA. Does
anyone know if an Hard Drive that is roughly -10C in
temperature from being in the back of a UPS truck and then the
porch, really dislikes being asked to spin up?
Joe: wonders if he should wait for it to warm up considerably.
MisterX: put it in the microwave for 5 seconds
Joe: Oh, thanks!
Joe: Be right back.
Joe left the chat room.
Andy: Is he serious?

<Dragon-Beast> Yoshi's Story
<Dragon-Beast> so so so easy
<lazz|away> well it wasnt exactly aimed at older gamers
<Dragon-Beast> I know that, but I can't figure out how
pregnant women are supposed to get the controller past the
cervix so Nintendo can reach  its target audience.

<tokenshi> does anyone seriously use realplayer anymore?
<mef> yes
<Freddie> I thought they died :o
<RvLeshrac> They're doing extraordinarily well
<tokenshi> i believe i still have an audio clip buffering from
1999 in realplayer

<@DataTek> hah
<@DataTek> antibiotics are the king
<@DataTek> u drink two beers and you're so drunk u almost pass
out
<@DataTek> its like a Quad-damage powerup

<@Daedalus> I think any "how to" thing that starts "so you've"
is solid gold
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided open a hockey rink"
<@Synergistic> Thats weird
<@Daedalus> "So you've decided to mail a kitten"
<@Daedalus> "So you've got cancer"

<RogueFoxx> I'm going to go outside
<RogueFoxx> where no nerd has gone before
<RogueFoxx> pray for me

<falafel> i'm about done with this sodacan castle around my
computer monitor
<falafel> well atleast the right wing
<falafel> i still have the top to defend and get some cover
over the left flank
<falafel> and i have to do it quickly before the mentos
monsters complete the building of their military base

*** Joins: Tallpaul
*** Semper is now known as Smallpaul
*** Smallpaul is now known as Semper
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper_is_gay
*** Semper is now known as Tallpaul
*** Semper_is_gay is now known as Semper
*** Quits: Semper (Kill by NickServ (RECOVER command used by
Tallpaul))
*** Tallpaul is now known as Semper
<Semper> I'm a dick
<Semper> :D

<Gareth> HOW DO I DOWNLOAD GAMES!!!
<TK421-> WHOA LIKE I CAN TELL YOU HOW YO!
<TK421-> Go to download.com and download a few game demos,
depending on which ones you download they will combine to make
different versions of MECHADEMO! *sings power rangers theme
song*
<Gareth> DUDE FUCK YOU

<maba>: i just had the WORST geek moment of my life, im
actually ashamed of myself
<maba>: i was reading a book cause im bored of WoW and i went
to set it down to go make some supper
<maba>: i looked at the page number and memorized it
(unconsciously) and went and made food
<maba>: took me like like 35 mins to cook and eat right?
<maba>: i came back in my room and the book was closed, i
picked it up and though "what was my page number again?"
<maba>: then i go "ah yeah it was the first 3 prime numbers".
<jared>:...
<mrbips>:you...that...jesus christ, i cant think of anything
to add to that to make it sound worse!

Kalaevandros X:  Hahah.  I have to write a play based on the
afterlife.
Kalaevandros X:  Drama class.  It's so frustrating.
Direbaen:  That's frustrating?
Direbaen:  WAIT 'TIL YOU HAVE BILLS AND DEPENDANTS YOU ASSHOLE

cpufreak04: Fun fact.
cpufreak04: Take 'HAL' from 2001: A Space Odyssey
cpufreak04: And move every letter one letter forward (Y=Z, X=
Y)
cpufreak04: What do you get?
MavAntagonist: g_k
cpufreak04: FORWARD.
MavAntagonist: oh....IBM!
MavAntagonist: OMG!

<AL9000> Hey, somebody try this, sit on your hands for a
really long time until you have no feeling in them at all,
then jack off, it's supposed to feel like you're getting a
handjob from somebody else
<Tip> I prefer sitting on my penis for like 5 minutes and then
jacking off, it feels like I'm giving someone else a handjob

<octo> no matter what anyone tells you, or how much you think
it would be a good idea, never ever put aftershave on your
balls
<HeXeDeCiMaL> OMG 0 ...
<Angelhair> curiosity will get you every time
<Ninja_Bill> as far as i know curiosity didnt make a cat put
aftershave on its nuts

<MuNkEy`> MuNkEy looks better than Munkey
<Munkey> looks worse
<MuNkEy`> no way
<MuNkEy`> urs looks like a babys been at it
<MuNkEy`> with the lowercase
<Munkey> indeed. random guess. FPS player?
<MuNkEy`> counter-strike.

.+vera: wtf is a manga
.+sheep: its a fruit
.+sheep: retard
.+vera: k

<HaXk> The dog cant say no
<HaXk> So it really isnt rape

* oWildKard waters the o at the beginning of his name... maybe
in time it will grow to a beautiful @

<Thrasher> What drugs should be used to increase statistics in
my game?
<Ear> Well, beta-blockers would have a positive effect on
accuracy, but a negative effect on strength.
<Ear> Acebutolol hydrocholoride, alprenolol hydrocholoride,
atenolol, labetalol hydrochloride, metoprolol tartrate,
nadolol, oxprenolol hydrochloride, propranolol hydrocholoride,
sotalol hydrocholoride are the beta-blockers banned by the
IOC.
<Thrasher> ...Remind me not to ask you for help again.

<Screwy> I went on a 30-day diet
<Screwy> and lost 30 days

<D1> omg
<D1> christians are knocking at my door
<D1> and they're armed with the holy bible

<mehonae128> Was ist den der Fahrplan fur zwei?
<mehonae128> what is the time table for 4?
<mehonae128> 1,4,8,12,16,20
<mehonae128> or
<mehonae128> eins,vier,acht,zwolf,sechzehn,zwanzig
<Seppel> 1 is not on the time table for 4.
<mehonae128> 4 time 1 is 1
<Seppel> You're an idiot.
<mehonae128> anything times 1 oh wait

(|Chris) it's the gift that keeps on giving
(Amanda`) Herpes?

<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put
in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"

<achan> DigDug: 'ascetic' is maybe the word you're looking for
<DigDug> ascetic?
<DigDug> I don't know such a word. :/
<achan> someone who lives a monastic life outside of a
monestary
<DigDug> Ahh.
<DigDug> Is there a term for someone who lives a monastic life
on the Internet?
<Medieval> yes, e-scetic.

<D4> Want to hear my idea for a Star Wars porno?
<Jolyon> Only if Han shoots first

<andy> i will commit suicide or die trying

<RevMike> my favorite dream is still the one when i had a
vagina and all the girls at school showed me how to use it

<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and
stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him
you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port,
please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck
your self

<HunterZero|Home> my microwave is growling at me
<Baastuul> take the baby out

-!- blehhhhh [[email protected]] has
joined #perl
<blehhhhh> hello guys, how am i able to create an array of
socks ?
<mmlj4> open a drawer?

<Johnny-5> i just measured my dick and i was like 'yay ten
inches' then i realised i was looking at centimeters. life can
be so hard sometimes.