bash.org archive

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast
forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of
fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice
with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my
friend

After fatal school shooting in Littleton Colorado, 4/20/99
[18:38] <THE_RAY> Any people from the school in here?
[18:39] <scitz0> oh yah i got home from the shooting and
"logged on" you idiot
[18:39] <PunCHie> i got shot in the head 4 times..  but i'm
okay..

<lav> pandas are black and white, lamer
<lav> that bear is solid grey
<Zhuzhen> hey Lav, join #avaxx for a sec.
<lav> ok?
<Zhuzhen> no one in there?
<Zhuzhen> yeah, that's the room of people that care.

<Straylight> aw3some
<Straylight> oops
<Straylight> haha... i accidentally l33ted

<DireWolf> My life'd be a whole lot cooler if Vikings invaded
every once in a while.

<thinkr> will the dvd have a special mode to remove jar jar?

* X sets mode: +b *!*@68.68.*
* s0ur was kicked by X ((collindavis) you were warned)
<@SJr|Tecra> Right now, with cbdavis's latest ban about  3/
65536th of the net is banned from this channel.
<@SJr|Tecra> doesn't banning a /16 raise ethical and moral
issues about prejudice, stereotyping, and netmaskism,
descrimination against people based on there network address?
How can we as moral human beings condone such activities?
Whats the difference between banning someone who thru no
events but fate is given 68.68. as an ip address, versus
someone who thru no events as fate is given dark skin? In the
latter we did
<@SJr|Tecra> but no longer condone such activites such as
prejudice. It would be incorrect to say that one is more
likely to commit a crime based on the skin color, but doesn't
society move so slowly that we still find it ethical and moral
to say that based on someones netmask they are going to be a
spammer.
<@cd|work> it's IRC bitch - stfu
<@cd|work> you're about to see a *.ca ban if you don't shut up
:)
<@SJr|Tecra> didn't hitler say that about Germany, cd|work?
<@SJr|Tecra> Hitler to Chaimberlain: it's germany - stfu

<steven>: heh, im doing the rough draft on my analasys paper,
but i have to truncate it when i email it through the school's
web system, so im gonna do "anal-rough.doc" and send it to the
teacher =D

<Vehementi> girlfriend-crafted brownies are the best
<BauB_> girlfriend crafted blowjobs are better
<Vvivix> those arnt really crafted though
<Vvivix> its more of a buff
<Vvivix> with a long cast time
<Hyper_Monkey20> Actaully, it's more of a debuff... It leaves
you tranced and unable to go into combat.

<Davus> Earth - The only place people that don't use condoms
use computer anti-virus software.
<Davus> Ah, the priorities.

lemonlimeskull: Check it out. Just had a million dollar idea.
lemonlimeskull: I buy up a bunch of gumball machines and put
them in the mall. Hot Topic, coffee shops, etc.
lemonlimeskull: And I fill them with Emo/Goth kid prizes!!
lemonlimeskull: Razors, little folded up sonnets, clip-on lip
rings, stuff like that.
peterbilt: Hahahahaha
lemonlimeskull: Some capsules would be filled with tears.
Others would be totally empty.
CrimsonJudas: As empty as the depths of my wilted, blackened
soul...?
lemonlimeskull: Ideally, yes.

<Kalthare> Dammit, I'm losing my stack pointer somewhere in
fat_mount(). :(
<Quazgaa> Kalthare: sounds like a bad date

<chinger> My real name is Thoma
<chinger> s
<LimberDink> Well hello there, Thoma
<LimberDink> s

<Klaatu> I logged into the admin account in a comp at my uni.
<Klaatu> I drew the word "Owned" and set it as the wallpaper.
<Hl1> Meh, that's good enough to hang with us. >.>
<Klaatu> 1337 :D
<Hl1> You just lost your cred.
<Klaatu> Aw fux0r. :(
<Hl1> And slowly going into the negatives...

Whiskey: u know that chick that u said was stalking u or
somethign like a while ago?
XAsHeSX: hmm
XAsHeSX: no
XAsHeSX: i forget
Whiskey: u sent me a naked picture of her
Whiskey: cuz she was sending them to u
XAsHeSX: oh yea
Whiskeyinmy: i saw her today at walmart lol
XAsHeSX: i was in walmart today :-/

TheSlapOfGod: People are horrible
TheSlapOfGod: You know the Oslo shooter guy?
TheSlapOfGod: Someone was asking what song he was playing on
his ipod when he was at the camp shooting people
TheSlapOfGod: And the FIRST GOD DAMN RESPONSE was "Let the
bodies hit the FJORD"

< 01@peregrine > Then a great item, the 24 Hour Bukkake Semen
of Moe Nishimura
< 01@peregrine > -- poor Moe-chan has men blowing their wads
on her as she goes about her
< 01@peregrine > daily life, brushing her teeth, sleeping,
going to the bathroom, and so on
< 01@peregrine > dude that's bukkake i'd consider watching
< 01@peregrine > the comedy
< 01@chesed > I think that'd get annoying when you're doing
your daily activies and random guys are blowing their load all
over you
< 01@chesed > it'd prolly be the worst day to do laundry
< 01@chesed > "I just fucking cleaned that! FUCK!"
< 01@peregrine > you'd need an allstar male crew
< 01@peregrine > with precision aim
< 01@chesed > haha
< 01@chesed > matrix load-blowing
< 01@peregrine > i'm just imagining like
< 01@peregrine > guys hidden in the bushes and shit, as she
walks by
< 01@krelian > that's what happens in 24 hours bukakke
< 01@krelian > they like bust out of the closet
< 01@krelian > and it's a hit and run cum
* peregrine rolls
< 01@spider-hime > hahah
< 01@krelian > girl walks into the bathroom
< 01@krelian > and dude blows his load
< 01@peregrine > they need to just go all the way
< 01@peregrine > and have some chick being tormented by a clan
of bukkake ninjas
< 01@krelian > *girl walks down street*
< 01@krelian > *ninjas out of bushes*
< 01@peregrine > hehe
< 01@peregrine > totally
< 01@krelian > *ninjas blow load*
< 01@peregrine > then DISAPPEAR
< 01@krelian > <girl> what the hell was that!
< 01@spider-hime > STEALTH BUKKAKE
< 01@krelian > *girl walks down street*
< 01@krelian > <girl> omg it's raining
< 01@Perrin > *camera pans to roof of building*

<Psy> how many MB in a Gig again?
<seafoodgod> 1024
<bobAkirafett> yea
<Psy> jesus wept
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod: But it's kind of funny because some Hard
Drive manufacturers would say that 1 gigabyte would equal 1000
megabytes of data instead of 1024.
<seafoodgod> well, when you install the supposedly 80gb drive
and it comes up 74.6gb, you know they're fucking morons
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod:  zactly my point.
<seafoodgod> and lying bastards.  but they cover their asses
quite well:  "up to 80gb"  whatever the fuck that means
<[Bryan]> seafoodgod: Sure some of that goes to the partion
table and indexes and all that fun stuff.. but..err....
<seafoodgod> i just want to know where the other 5.4gb went. 
what?  did it go to a fucking party while i was formatting? 
did it go out to play golf and lose it's keys in a hazzard and
have to spend the night over at a friend's drive?
<bobAkirafett> lol
<seafoodgod> that bastard 5.4 gig never cleans up after
itself, either.  never mows the grass or does the dishes or
takes out the fucking trash
<seafoodgod> maybe i'm better off without it.  YOU HEAR ME 5.4
GB!!!!   I DON'T NEED YOU!!!!

<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's
performance accordingly

<Hiyasu> I just called my manager, and told them I couldn't
come in, because I'd just contracted leprosy.
<Hiyasu> The odd thing was, for about 10 seconds, she believed
me.
<SePPach> lol
<SePPach> what did she say?
<newjersey> "I thought I fired you two weeks ago"

<molo242k> ALLO WESTERN COMRADES! NO COMMUNISTS HERE! JUST
HARD WORKING YANKY DOODLE DANDY WESTERN CO WORKERS! OH BOY!
TIME FOR SOEM MORE OF THAT FAMOUS AMERICAN APPLE PIE! PERHAPS
LATER WE WILL ENGAGE IN MANLY EMBRACE WHILST STILL CLINGING
DESPERATELY TO THE ILLUSION OF HETEROSEXUALITY JAH?

<dvdman> I was at a wedding yesterday
<dvdman> and i was drinking at like 10am
<dvdman> the bartender told me I know a place you can meet
people like your self
<dvdman> I said where
<dvdman> he said at rehab

<Mr_Saturn> Diagnosing computer problems over IRC is like
trying to diagnose brain cancer with a pointy stick

<LarsC> i'm a fuckign ninja.
<exii> Dude, you're not a ninja.
<DJTodd> A fucking Ninja?
<LarsC> yeah.  i fuck you, and you don't even know I was
there.
<Dayv> I heard your girlfriends have that problem.

<DCBastard> hey i could get ven to install that saturn modchip
that i got him to send me last year
<travolta> ven?
<travolta> who is ven?
<CraiZE> he means VeNoM
<DCBastard> see when you like someone you abreviate their name
- that's why I always call you travolta

<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future

<Cutter> you know whats a trip ? when one of your friends in
high school has to do a speech to the class and does it on
acid, gets confused and pisses his pants - that owned

<Murgatroyd> You know you've been playing Nethack too much
when...
<Murgatroyd> You look both ways down the corridor, start to
sweat... then realise you're looking at your EMail address.

<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it
off.
<OniSlave> Did u get an A?
<greenocide> I hope so, cause they kept the video.  Asshole
teachers are probably wanking it right now.

<Vegeta> I would go to the end of the earth for you
<Girl> Yes, but would you stay there?

<TheFlibble>Windows XP doesn't like admitting it's made a
mistake
<TheFlibble>It doesn't give error messages it just tries to
carry on regardless
<TheFlibble>Its like an embarrassed old man sitting in a pool
of his own piss.

<Spock> I haven't received an email in a week
<Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com
<Spock> just to get a confirmation via email
<Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet
<Spock> :(

(AnAcOnDa): www.goatse.cx
(sd3mon): been there done that
(blackanese): done that?

(@kaleido) so i start the video clip
(@Blaxthos) of that hottie we turned on on webcam the other
night?
(@kaleido) coworker walks in just as im closing it to send to
the machine at home
(@kaleido) "if you send it to me i wont say anything"

<haz3l> Anyone wanna do a wakeup call for me?
<haz3l> I need someone to wake me up in 6 hours
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> haz3l: /timer 1 21600 /beep 39482034
<haz3l> really?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> really
<haz3l> Would that owrk?
<LaserGuidedBunnyRabbit> yep
<haz3l> :D
<haz3l> lets try 60 seconds
<haz3l> OMG THE BEEEEEPAGE
<haz3l> MAKE IT STOPPP
<haz3l> LGBR HELP

<iMike> monty python would be funny if nerds hadnt invented an
entire subculture devoted to quoting it

<isurx> vinyl as in a record right?
<babo> Yes.
<ami_> as in 12 inches of black joy
<N8> like... never mind

<Paul> So anyway, i hit him over the head with a shovel
<Paul> and now he's all "Lawsuit" this and "Jailtime" that

<nero> HTML without CSS is like a gun without ammunition
<nero> you can beat people to death with the butt of a gun,
but bullets are so much more efficient

<Scott> My friend Anne just... gave me some offer
<Scott> Like... an odd, odd offer
<Scott> She offered to give me five dollars if I let her blow
me.
<Luckett_X> GET YOUR COCK OUT AND THRUST IT AT HER

<Korben> tits
<darkraZor> yes, tits
<Soopa> i agree
<darkraZor> ...indeed

<Korvus> i found a message in a bottle today
<Korvus> it floated past
<D> what'd it say?
<Korvus> it said: "can you put this in a bin for me please?"

<NetShadow> this is going to sound pitiful... but can you tell
me how to use a washing machine?

[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security.
Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton
and runs the exe. FFS!!!

<Blaxthos> find / -name "*base*" -user your -print |xargs
'chown us'

<TMX> someone right a shell extension for windows xp
<TMX> *write
<Cow> for what?
<TMX> stfu button
<Cow> i'm gonna make a command line program to buy stuff from
amazon
<TMX> equivalent tokilling a process via ctrl-alt-delete
<TMX> For retarded programs like norton that just have an "ok"
button when they ask to reboot
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+
<TMX> |& M$ Piss-me-off XP            |_|| ||X||
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+
<TMX> | Your computer needs to be rebooted in  |
<TMX> | order to apply the updates.            |
<TMX> |                                        |
<TMX> | Save your work, and then click ok.     |
<TMX> |                                        |
<TMX> |       +----------+ +----------+        |
<TMX> |       |   OK     | |   STFU   |        |
<TMX> |       +----------+ +----------+        |
<TMX> +----------------------------------------+

<MickXII> Spider-man creator Stan Lee awarded 10 percent of
profits from movies. With 10 percent profit, there must come
10 percent responsibility

<Matto20V> get lost
<uneekwahn> I can't
<uneekwahn> I have a map
* Matto20V points at his asshole
* uneekwahn opens his map for "the grand canyon"

* Solid_Snake has quit IRC (Read error: Operation timed out)
<+an1me> NO, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING, SNAKE!
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!#!#
<@Master_Tang> rofl
<Shaytan> LOL
<Corellion> LOL

Phil: C++ is java's uncle that never comes to visit, and had
half his face blown off when he stepped on a landmine, also
he's a pedophile.
Phil: But he's the industry standard.
David: and runs much faster
Phil: He has to be able to run fast, he's a pedophile.

<okoshun> The cat's have the right idea..lying on the cool
tiles in the dark.
<max> That
<max> Of course they have the right idea.  Cat's are perfect.
<max> Or so they like to believe :)
<okoshun> The *are* perfect.  ;)
<max> Then explain why the hell the cat fell off my desk
yesterday?
<max> You know how I have a corner desk?
<okoshun> A gravitational flaw.
<max> he was lying on his back, and rolled over to stand up
<max> And managed to put his front paw in the empty space in
the corner between the two segments
<max> So he put his weight on it to get up, and fell down
<okoshun> max: He did that on purpose.
<max> It was funny as hell.
<okoshun> max: He knew you needed a laugh.
<max> he looked mortified.  He left shortly after.
<okoshun> You're just projecting your feelings onto the cat. 
;)

* MTR continues to listen to his best of Poison cd
<ROB> That's gotta be one short fucking CD

<railor> then there comes this really hot nurse chick and i
like get an instant hard-on
<railor> she asks me if i'm ok and leaves. i tell to myself
"what a fine piece of ass!" so i grab my dick and start
whacking off like mad
<HaiFlick> so you've started jerking off to that nurse after
you had been drunk like hell and woke up in the hospital?
<railor> yeah, but then suddenly a woman next to me started
crying really loud. i couldn't see her due to the curtain
though
<HaiFlick> lol
<railor> turns out it was my wife

HolyViper7: im confused as to how i'm still allowed to breathe
the same oxygen as other human beings.  i just bought some tic
tacs, and most of em are gone... and you know how some tic
tacs get like, stuck?  well, see, i didnt wanna make too much
noise so i put the tic tac container in my lap and i hit the
container.  it was then i realized i had testicles.  it was
quite painful

<POon> i just executed an underage camel
<POon> and looted his hump
<uli> wtf? what game is that?
<POon> game?

RIPpolaris89: omg, brokeback mountain is soooo gay
Brownie8290: NO SHIT SHERLOCK

<Marilyn> I have a very large trouser snake in my backyard!!
<RaydenUni> trouser snake?
<Diazo> good for you
<RaydenUni> what's that?
<RaydenUni> a big snake that crawls up your trousers?
-a few seconds pass-
<RaydenUni> wtf? don't look up "trouser snake" on google

<jim_trim> How To Know If a girl likes you
<jim_trim> ?
<sarah> Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it
feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.

<WoG> wanna play me in UT J?
<J_Dawg007> Sure, I just got it again. Gimme a few minutes to
practice though, I need to learn to nut suck again.
<WoG> lmao
<J_Dawg007> Err... not*
<J_Dawg007> Great, I'm never gonna live THAT one down..

* Alpaca is listening to : Celine Dion - Where Does My Heart
Beat Now.mp3
<Alpaca> NOOOOOOOOOO
<Alpaca> STUPID SCRIPT

<Macolio> shaid: like last time, I helped scrybe do his
chemestry assignment, even though I had no idea what I was
doing. Because that's just the type of person I am.
<Shaid> and he failed.
<Macolio> that's irrelevant

<amit> there was a girl in my english class who had a lord of
the rings bookmark. she looked at me, then at the bookmark and
said "Bilbo's so hot!" and put it in the cleavage between her
breasts.

<akamagikman> do u no a realy good server other then criten to
get pc games
<snacky> all you have to do is
<snacky> /join #staff
<snacky> then say "give me the warez"
<snacky> just keep saying "give me the warez" and they'll know
you're a serious customer
<akamagikman> ok im in
<akamagikman> now i just type give me the warez
<snacky> remember, be persistant
<snacky> yeah
-:- SignOff akamagikman: #Ragol (Killed (Tae|biking|quadsux
(This isn't a     warez channel, you idiot)))

<@harb> Hah. So the only food I've got is a fortune cookie,
and the fortune reads "May you have a good appetite."
Bastards.

<comet_11> Dj Sexual Innuendo is 'in' the 'house'

<zere> i need to make 75 thousand dollars
<videogameaholic> removing your head from your ass leaves
quite a medical bill, doesn't it.

<B2uc> and why do girls say they want honesty...then
don't...like the other night I was like "What would you like
to do?...movie or go out to eat?"...it was like "Well what do
you want to do?"...I was like "Well if it was up to me...we'd
just go home and fuck and then you could drive yourself home
while I catch the last of the ball game"
<B2uc> and then I get a dirty look.

*The topic is 'English Language ONLY! That means no German or
other Germanic, French or other Romanic, Latin, Leet, Spanish,
Portugeese, Croatian, Binary, any Nordic or Slavic or Turkish
or Klingon or any animal Language! No Singing! No inventing
new languages!' (set by drt_foksie)*
<drt_foksie>: if anyone manages to find a loophole in topic
now, im banning him.

<schnorks> OFFICIAL ATOMIC TIME: 11:41:28PM CDT
<Sigma> OMG schnorks has the A-BOMB
<schnorks> No, the atomic time has nothing to do with weapons
of any sort.
<Coco13> schnorks is correct.
<Coco13> The second is based on the wavelength of a particular
atom.
<schnorks> What about the first?
<Coco13> You are such a fucking whore.