bash.org archive

* dagdamor psychs himself up to play "which cable goes where"
and "why is this cable routed like this?" ahead of a switch
stack replacement
<dagdamor> deja vu etc
<evil_steve> you can generally tell if it's important.
<evil_steve> either a) all the phone start ringing at once, or
b) all the phones go silent at once

<Ninja_P> Okay, I just watched a guy puke in a glass, then
drink it again
<DragonAtma> Congratulations, you now know how congress
operates.

<vrtny> my boobs hurt
<vrtny> anyone wanna masage them ?
<Tremor> well maybe some other time
<Tremor> im still installing php atm

<brojek> The A-Team? it goes like this: they have a "job", get
into trouble, get cornered, in that corner they build a tank
and then escape :)
<toitle> the best bit was when they made the tank out of left
overs from a broken vacuum cleaner

<Jon^D> I had to cat 8-9 seperate quote files, compare each
line in each of them to make sure there weren't any duplicates
then sort
<Jon^D> I wrote a nasty perl script to get it donw
<Jon^D> and it didn't work very well
<skank> cat quote*.txt |sort |uniq

<stutz> I hear you call your dick Godzilla
<mltj> yeah.
<stutz> Is that because its green and smells of fish?
<jamey> no, it's because it doesn't really exist

<3ifLikle> I used to masturbate while listening to my
neighbors wild sex.
<3ifLikle> Then i met them and they were like 300 pounds. that
ruined the whole thing...

<Kacey> if I wsa president, I would change the "In God We
Trust"
to "In Goats We Thrust"

<Krys> I had the funniest phone call last night when I was at
work
<Krys> had to tell the guy to buy a new SIM card, because he
fried his..and he was like "Okay thanks" and we ended the
call..except he forgot to hang up
<Krys> so I had my phone on mute and all you hear is "Stupid
bitch" and he goes on insulting me...so I give him a few
moments
<Krys> I go on the line and I'm like "Sir, you may want to
disconnect the line. I'm still here"
<Krys> and he's like "OH FUCK" *click*

<Anony-X> Whats the worst thing about rollerskating?
<Anony-X> Telling your parents your gay.

<mustafa12>Ya, in 9th grade I was reading some background
history on a poem out loud to the class and the poem was
written in 1337, me being the cool social butterfly that I am,
I read it as "leet"

<dman254> so r we gonna talk about anything that has a point
<jv-home> of course not. :P
<nougatmachine> apparently dman254 is new to irc

<Keimu> guys
<Keimu> come on lemme back in lol
<Calendros> sorry
<Calendros> You're still banned
<Calendros> come back later
* Keimu ([email protected]) has left #
AY.Radio

<Analogy> The Voyager 1 spacecraft has travelled approximately
2.5 billion miles since the announcement of Duke Nukem Forever

Phantbert> I work at a pizza place
Phantbert> and the smallest size pizza is called a 6-inch
Phantbert> so yesterday
Phantbert> I actually uttered the phrase
Phantbert> "I have a six inch sausage."

(treaz0n4) msn sent me a 4 page report on how to report
spammers

<mithro> anyone know how to get find to remove all files which
are older then 7 days?
<cherez> crap
<cherez> I tried to google to help that
<cherez> thinking to search a man page
<cherez> "find older man"
<cherez> it was bad :(
<cherez> real bad...

<Idioteq> shit.. the zombie processes have gone chaotic on my
pull parity
<happy> flip the bits, STAT
<Yoinkster> you should also vi the slackware
<thirtyseven|IGOTHEADTODAY> I get the idea that you guys might
be making this shit up.

<Tac0> theyre fucking with you, the real way to get to it is /
quit im a fag
* Quits: Boo_urns (Quit: Tac0's a fag)

eI pianisto: So..
eI pianisto: I called to complain about the slow DSL speeds.
eI pianisto: and they told me
eI pianisto: that it was because all the kids are out of
school and "in their stupid chat rooms"

<Crumbs> anyone know what the strongest painkillers you can
buy are?
<Trukkie> guns

·[steev]· i used to date this chick, she used to strip naked
and rub up and down against me to get me off the computer, it
was like, damn it, im busy

<nosliwc156> So I walk in to the living room, and Patricks
watching Hanson on TV...
<nosliwc156> he turns around to me, and says "I would so
totally do her"
<nosliwc156> and all I could think to do was turn around, and
walk out...

join: (RIAArep) ([email protected])
(+Xelopheri) ::: Metallica - The Call of Ktulu : 8:53 :
128kbps : Joint Stereo :::.
(+Xelopheri) oh shit!

<Tso-JA> I love food... which is why my 6 pack is covered with
a good 2 inches of flub
<Targeter> you're not fat you simply have "stealth abs"

<Kurt> Who would win in a fight, Batman or Jesus?
<jre> Batman
<egg> Batman
<jre> Does Jesus have a Christ-mobile or a utility belt?  NO.

<ironfrost> life sucks
<Majji-woo-woo> so do whores
<Latino|NotIn> but life sucks for free

<FGDH> holy fuck, i was talking to this girl i like and we
were flirting ..
<ToG> And...
<FGDH> then she said.."Tell your trousers to stop pointing at
me".. FUCK

<Swiich> remember how I went to the hospital on tuesday?
<Swiich> I screwed up my liver from chugging an entire bottle
of cough syrup to trip
<_nosiop> without reading the label for other active
ingredients or checking what they do online?
<Swiich> um...
<Swiich> yeah
<_nosiop> 15 minutes of research could have saved you 15%
liver function or more

<Sumez> Jar: I can't believe you don't know what a Skoda is
<Aximili> Sumez: I can't believe you don't know what a
Hasemalphaginnojinglanaporphomism is
<Sumez> Axi: I do, oh I do
<Aximili> What is it, then?
<Sumez> Axi: a reversed contradicting metamorph phrased as an
anagram
<Aximili> Sumez: Damn.. you did know..

<SupaShaD> i hate it when people invite me to eat dinner at
their house
<SupaShaD> cuz then i have to act all polite and shit
<SupaShaD> when all i really wanna do is eat the food and then
go fuck their daughter

<Pazzo> anyone got a windows XP cd-key?
<ClinRaro> Pazzo: FCKGW-E4TMY-C0CK-F4G0T
Pazzo is [email protected]

<Ken> If a girl is 5'2" and weighs 110, what would her ring
size be
<Nny> Ken: depends on how big her finger is

* Bishi ([email protected]) has joined #zgeek-tech
<Bishi> op, op-me-do
<Bishi> you know, I'd op you
<Bishi> I'll always be true
<Bishi> so ple-e-e-ease...
<Bishi> op me do
<Bishi> </beatles>
* RickBitch sets mode: +o Bishi

<_dk-> I just grabbed a couple pretzels and sat down at the
computer... I bit in to one and realized that not only was it
stale, but I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with. But
I was too lazy to get up and toss them in the trash, so I ate
them anyway... I wonder just how many of the Seven Deadly Sins
that qualifies me for...

<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the
computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM.

Blade Madrigal: Why don't Libraries carry books on suicide?
Ice Sickle: They'd never get returned?
Blade Madrigal: there you go.
Ice Sickle wins.
BanishTheShadowKing: .. Dang. That's the first time I ever saw
anyone answer a joke. That's awesome.
HailFire: Neko, you have l337 skills.

<Zer0-kewl> and in network properties i'm static on
192.168.1.30
<Prem0> thats why
<Prem0> ass
<Prem0> your ip is too high
<Prem0> cant go above 255
<Zer0-kewl> too high?  wtf?
<Prem0> your at 300
<Zer0-kewl> Thirty
<Prem0> if U wanted 30 it should be 192.168.1.030
<Killeroy> wtf?
<Killeroy> lemme quote that on bash.org :)
<Prem0> remember it adds 0's to the end
<Prem0> lol
<Zer0-kewl> since when?
<Prem0> since forever
<Prem0> thats tcp/ip brother
<Zer0-kewl> if it thought my IP was 300...i doubt i woudl be
talking to you hear.
<Prem0> change it to .030 and then try it
<Killeroy> prem0, don't make it worse for you...

<SwampFox> my way of determining the validity of a holiday is
where I am at 9:00 AM
<SwampFox> if I'm in bed, it's good
<SwampFox> if I'm in Physics, it's a Hallmark holiday

<Keitaro> I think I know where Michael Jackson got the idea to
hang his kid over the balcony.
<Keitaro> Lion King.

<seg> I just spent 10 minutes checking my keyboard connections
only to find that i had been typing my root password in an irc
channel instead of the ssh window.

<xIHaveRicketsx> I almost got killed by some Asian woman
today.
<xIHaveRicketsx> Asians should learn how to fucking drive.
<slamyouinthebutt> But...you're Asian...
<xIHaveRicketsx> I'm more like a banana: yellow on the
outside, white on the inside.

<ad_man> ya so me and mitch were sittin in english
<ad_man> and we always had a habit of writing dumb stuff in
each other's books
<ad_man> so he writes in my book "adam is a fagget"
<ad_man> what we didn't know was that the teacher was standing
behind us
<ad_man> so she says
<ad_man> "it's spelled -ot", and just walked on

<konefku> If you have twins, im buying you a shirt that points
to your left side that says "I LOVE THIS ONE MORE."

<drain333> i lose interest after daisy left
<drain333> that was a long time ago
<PunkerGuy> since i've begun weed, i've begun to lose
inter.... oo, a cookie
*** SexyCookie has joined #goth
<PunkerGuy> ooo, a cookie

<CaffieneHead>  We have enough youth. What we need is a
fountain of smart.

<robin24> any girls in here?
<cognac> does is really matter?
<cognac> the only thing you're gonna see are letters and
numbers anyway

<NekoEttin> =^_^=
* ChibiJuke sits in his chair.
* ChibiJuke hides under the cushion.
* ChibiVile is a neko girl. :o
* NekoEttin curls up on the cushion and purrs
* ChibiJuke pulls ChibiVile in with him.
<The_Capn> Jesus H. Christ. It's like Japan crapped in here.

<Dayv> I tell you, nothing works up an appetite like
committing serious tax fraud.
<Dayv> wrong window, ignore

(Amanda`) I think random orgasms would get old after a while

<Makenshi`> the creator of the qwerty keyboard must have had a
fetish
<Makenshi`> I don't think it's a coincidence that you can type
'stewardess' with one hand

<rushfan> im getting out of shape
<rushfan> I only did 25 pushups and the room is already
spinning'
<qupada> drink some booze
<qupada> maybe it will make the room spin the other way and
they will cancel out

<Otakutard> Dude... if you put the words "I want to have sex
with you until the sun goes down." into a translator, and
translate it into Dutch, then back to english
<Otakutard> it comes out
<Otakutard> I want slaughtered with you have to the sun
decrease.
<Otakutard> Kinky dutchlanders

<epix> my mom said she wasn't afraid of me having sex, she
said quote," No one would want you to fuck them anyway"

<JtotheD> do you even know what mecca is
<Loopy1> yea
<Loopy1> a robot that people fight in

<Drogo> Don't trust the xbox 360
* Brandalf85 goes forward in time and gets 5 Xbox 360s
<Drogo> It's like those creatures in Chronicles of Riddick
<Drogo> You turn it on and all of a sudden "Your soul is
miiiine"
<Drogo> You know what, next thing you know rob, the xbox makes
you call your friend with a needle to your neck and you're
like "Hey, Brandalf.. Would you like to come over and--- DONT
COME BRANDALF! I mean. Brandalf, please come over and initiate
in gameplay of the xbox 360"
<Brandalf85> LOL
<Rob> haha
<Brandalf85> i probably dont live anywhere near Rob :)
<Drogo> Then Brandalf comes over and he opens the door and
it's like Dreamcatcher with the red except it's wires and
blood and the door slams shut behind him and all of a sudden,
a needle sticks into his neck
<Drogo> xbox 360 needs no memory card or hard drive either
<Drogo> you know why?
<Drogo> It saves to your brain
<Brandalf85> ....
<Brandalf85> =0
<Rob> haha
<Brandalf85> the horror
<Drogo> You're like "Oh... hey... Happy childhood memories..
NO! DONT SAVE THERE!"

<^DSKY^[atWork]> could some like ultra-1337 person like hack
the computer the universe runs on and change the program so
that I have a girlfriend?
<tef-cruise> dsky: i tried and it segfaulted.
<tef-cruise> i accidentally deleted the country of bunitsland
<tef-cruise> but i dont think anyone will notice

<Dark_un> man this shit is fucked
<Synoptica> whats that?
* Dark_un produces a piece of shit with a particularly
suspicious looking hole

<DonMuttoni_> what do you do when you've fallen in love with
your best friends ex after shooting her down, sending him to
the hospital with a drug overdose, and then running over her
deaf cat.... all two weeks before you leave the continent....?
<KingOfAll> Leave a fortnight early.

[StrikeBot] 65.  Who sought to create The Great Society?
[StrikeBot] Here's a hint: L__do_ ____s__
[Chevelle] bhudda
[Video] Lando Calrisian
[MinuS] lando calrisian

<Shephard> I probably like Blade because he reminds me of
myself
<Shephard> Even though I am not afro-american
<Shephard> and not a half-vampire
<Shephard> armed to the teeth
<Shephard> I do have sunglasses though

<blast007> okay, here's what you do
<blast007> you go to a resturant, and you ask for a grilled
cheese sandwich
<blast007> and ask for limburger cheese on it
<A-Delusion> I always ask for a chicken and an egg, to see
which comes first.

<Iggz> i had a touching experience on the subway today
<Iggz> i sat beside a priest
<spoon> kinky
<Iggz> ......

<SS_Gogeta_27> you know how people put 'wash me' on cars in
the dust?
<Zorak> yeah?
* ChanServ sets mode: +v SS_Gogeta_27
<+SS_Gogeta_27> when we came out from the movie my friends car
said 'i wish my wife was this dirty'

<SONIA420> DO U KNOW HOW TO HACK HOTMAIL ACAOUNTS
<COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> NO.
<COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> AND ALTHOUGH THIS MAY APPEAR
TO BE A NON-SEQUITUR
<COLON_OPENBRACKET_OPENBRACKET> I FUCKED YOUR MUM.

< traicovn> I'm stealing wifi at the shearton right now
< traicovn> until security comes and gets me
< traicovn> Some older upper 30s drunk woman invited me up to
her room. 
< traicovn> But I think the high speed is just about the same
up there so I turned her down.

* Sep mst find a working free ISP for gods sack
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> God's Sack? Isn't that..
<BlazeHedgehogAdvance> Sack-religious?

Radish Attack: I'm so happy I could shit a kitten

<Khabi> Night. Don't let the bed bug bite.
<Groverton> Bed bug?
<Khabi> Yeah, there's just one, but he's FUCKING HUGE!