bash.org archive

<Pahricida> and I never want to get rickrolled again by my
alarm clock
<Linds-inClass> ROFL
<Linds-inClass> radio clock?
<Pahricida> yeah
<Linds-inClass> hahaha
<Pahricida> it woke me up with a rickroll
<Linds-inClass> that is pure awesome
<Linds-inClass> XD
<Pahricida> :S
<Pahricida> not if it happens to you
<Pahricida> you're like
<Pahricida> ztZZzzZzz
<Pahricida> "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU
DOOOOOOOOOWN!"
<Pahricida> "AH SHUT THE FUCK UP"

<incluye> OH! Shit it's your birthday, isn't it.
<thom> Yeh
<incluye> I have something for you.
<thom> Really?!
<incluye> Yeah.
<incluye> localhostr.com/files/a19ydd/q.gif
<thom> WTF
<thom> It's just an animation of some dude getting a rag tied
around his face
<incluye> I know.
<incluye> It's a gag gif.
* You have been kicked from the channel by thom (never speak
to me again)

<ShadowRage> if this net needs anything it's more linux
<jimmiejaz> fuck no.
<ShadowRage> if ths net needs anything it's more women*
<ShadowRage> god dammit
<ShadowRage> You know you've become a nerd when the word linux
automatically replaces "women" in your mind.

<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on
it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.

<deo> theres a road near me called "the queens passage"
<emsy> LMAO
<deo> heh....the funny thing is....theres a pub next to
it.........called "the kings head"......
<emsy> ROTF

<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs
that begin with the letter "L"

<WrkEagle> Phalynx: Ah, but can you conjugate "Vodka?"
<Phalynx> WrkEagle: Sure, the past tense is "money", and the
future tense is "drunk"

<ShaneBe> i think i just realized what i have been doing wrong
with my life.
<ShaneBe> i make goals... but the goals are things like:
<ShaneBe> "I am going to eat this 10-pack of tacos if it kills
me."

Mondo: bukkake is a Japanese dish
Mondo: and not that kind of dish
Mondo: A dish of Japanese food. A soupy broth of Udon noodles
with some kind of broth (miso?)*, usually served in a bowl.
Mondo: wonder what'd happen.. if you ordered bukkake in a jap
resturant..
Mondo: "Mmm.. I could really go for some bukkake"
Mondo: would they bring you a dish of food, or bring 20 guys
out to jerk all over you
Kadmium: I tricked a friend into trying to order "neko don"
(lit: cat with rice) at a Japanese restaurant
Kadmium: He got a *FILTHY* look
Mondo: LOL
Kadmium: You know, that "You build railroad!" sort of look
Mondo: roflmao

JakerzInc> so here i am
JakerzInc> logging into irc
JakerzInc> and the first thing I see is "hard throbbing cock"
Anfael> that's normal, that's how you know it works

<PuyoDead> gahaha, I'm watching some porn live cam, and the
girl is just sitting there eating doughnuts

Scrodule: i have an interesting obesrvation
ezeerB: ?
Scrodule: if you swing your finger by your ear really fast,
you get this very low sounding "wfff" noise
Scrodule: hmm, that sounded more profound while i was thinking
about it

anotlwonk: I have a whole bunch of web designs and no one to
give them to
crazyc0der: i smell an emo song brewing

<gatewatcher> heh, last year, when my parrents made me goto
ccd, i had to sit through a pro-life presentation. after, the
guy asked my friend if he was pro-life. my friend goes yes, of
course i am, i'm catholic. the guy goes, that's good. then my
friend goes, yeah, i mean you can't eat babies unless they're
born... the guy was clearly horrified.

<Gizmog> I ever tell you guys about my trip to the beach?
<Gizmog> Long story short: I scored.
<Inferior_Minion> A touchdown????
<Gizmog> Kinda. :P
<Gizmog> She took off her bikini
<Gizmog> And I touched her on down.
<Inferior_Minion> 2 hand touch or full contact
<Inferior_Minion> ??
<Gizmog> Let me put it this way:
<Gizmog> I sacked her
<Gizmog> And pretty soon, she was behind the line of scrimmage
<Inferior_Minion> Did she ask for her quarter back?

<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War
Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"?

<MrAccident> ...
<MrAccident> My laptop really is like an Etch-a-Sketch now
<MrAccident> The slightest jostling or movement while it is
running will cause a BSoD
<MrAccident> And it won't recognize the hard drive after that
until you turn the thing upside-down at least once

<Ronwe> I never claimed to have a good memory....
<Malice> Maybe you did. It's not like you'd remember.

<Caskie> Ive gotta try and write a 17 page letter, but i dont
kno what to write
<Fletch> Just write 'i am a fish' 400 times
<Caskie? no! :P, thats a waste of paper
<Fletch> Pfft,Im sick of people saying 'dont waste paper'. If
trees wanted to live, they'd all carry guns

<arnoboltinager> is goatse down for anyone else?

<whitay> i just wanna kill mysql
<whitay> myself*
<heaika> that's an odd warning..
<whitay> mmm stupid reflex typing

<Uzzie> i'm sueing herbal essences
<Uzzie> i didn't get orgasms

<Yhwh> I want my mp3s back :(
<Chris_A> Why don't you recreate them as MIDI in Mario Paint
and then emulate the Mario Paint ROM and recreate said MIDI on
your new PC!??!?!
<Yhwh> Didn't Mario Paint not have sharps and flats?
<Chris_A> That's your biggest concern about my plan?
<Yhwh> It is a pretty big concern!

<DjShoryu> one time my friend got so drunk he thought legos
were candy
<buttonsDIE> you mean like he ate them?
<DjShoryu> no, hes an artist
<DjShoryu> he built an apple , then ate it

<DavidC> I once got some beer bubblebath for my birthday.  It
looked and smelled just like beer, complete with a foamy head,
and made me stink of beer for a week.  No amount of bathing/
showering/scrubbing would get rid of it.
<DavidC> But I was a student at the time, so no-one noticed.

<Charlesowns> Man i was surfin porn and like "normal" surfin
at the same time, so my mom comes in and i quick as hell tab
down the porn. So now im looking at a SWAT vest and an Mp5
submachinegun trying to hide the giant penis in my pants. Then
all of a sudden this realy gay male voice speaks out realy
loud goin "i want to suck your big dick ans swallow your hot
sperm" then like 100 popups open up all consisting of hardcore
fetish gay
<Charlesowns> man my mom started crying and now she thinks im
gay... it owns

Magustol: what about a geek nightclub?
Adam r the God: what? instead of a dancefloor, just a bunch of
DDR machines?

<Wafflehaus> Name someone not involved in politics
<@Baldfresh> george bush

<wizardofaaahs> I smoke during sex
<martha> wiz, slow down and use a lubricant

<ToxicFrog> My gaming machine is running 2k at the moment, but
I may have to downgrade to XP in the near future, or make it a
dual boot.
<LogiForce> Downgrade to XP ? :S
<LogiForce> 2k is older then XP. It is called upgrading.
<ToxicFrog> LogiForce: going from "bad" to "worse" is not an
upgrade even if "worse" was released after "bad".

Godchicken: One of my co-worker's roommates is a total myspace
whore. She's gone through 5 boyfriends in 4 months plus other
random dates... and all off Myspace.
Godchicken: I want a piece of it before she's all worn out
Method: Put a quarter on her head and call next, like in the
arcade

<[azn]> i am valid victorian

<Gandalf> how do you create a user in linux?
<@Viceroy> you can't, if you use linux you're going to live
alone forever

<ManC0W> Mikado : Mitsukake is an ass pirate
<Mikado`> ManC0W: I believe so, yes.
<Mikado`> ManC0W: can he see this?
<Mikado`> ManC0W: if we prefix our sentences with our intended
targets, the others can't see it, right?
<ManC0W> Mikado : I think so Brain...
<Mikado`> ManC0W: Cuz I'd really hate for Mitsukake to know
how gay I think he is
<Mitsukake> Why is this room so dead all of a sudden?
<Mikado`> LOL
<Mitsukake> What?
<Mitsukake> What's so funny?

<NevDullH> A/S/L/Uptime?

<coquelicot> after talking to this girl for a while
<coquelicot> i've come to the conclusion that she's into me
<theworstisover> a blind/deaf/retarded person could have told
you that
<coquelicot> well they should, because i think that would be
very comical to hear and watch

Eric: I'm 60% done masturbating
Casey5: ...

<Dedushka> Syntax error: function hell() needs an argument.
Please choose what hell you want to involve
<Dedushka> i dunno much fortran
<madiera> FORTRAN compilers are more like "error, gorak think
u program not working.  gorak consult rock and tree."

<Vict0r> they made a hackers 3?
<Vict0r> i didn't know that
<Majuju> they made a hackers 2?
<jules> they made a hackers 2?
<mnerd> what's hackers
<jules> winner.

<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse?

<DannyBoy> Hey CB, do you have any old website interface
templates laying around that you have no use for? =8)
<Cowboy_w3rk> er
<Cowboy_w3rk> <html><body>insert content</body></html>
<Cowboy_w3rk> there ya go
<DannyBoy> wonderful
<DannyBoy> hey, that looks like shit

Frencheneesz: what if there was a super hero who had the power
to transfer his own boredom to his enemies?
SombrousKnight: how'd he get these powers? gamma radiation
while waiting in line at the DMV?

<Paden> some of you people have the smallist ego in the world
and you get your jollys off buy ban/kicking someone well thats
sad you pick on me becouse i have bad grammer and can't spell
good well you need to look you're fag ass in the mirror and
look at a dumb fuck who has no life and will never have one
and the only girlfrien you ever had was palmla handerson ans
her 5 friends
<Alarach> guess that's not me.
<Minion> smallest
<Minion> jollies
<Minion> grammar
<Alarach> because
<Venkmen> because
<Venkmen> grammar
<Alarach> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Minion> haha
<Venkmen> your
<Paden> fuck you
<Alarach> girlfriend

<fitcher> my dad's credit card # is 4**0 0**1 3**3 7**7 exp 0*
/0*
<fitcher> whoops
<fitcher> ignore that
<fitcher> type /clear
<ProudCdn> why would you give your credit Card # out?
<fitcher> i was ordering a game off this guy

<MrSpey> Everyone needs pr0n. In fact, I think the amount of
pr0n people have is limited by their free time, connection
speed, and storage space. Not desire.

<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a
webcam and have to be naked

<taap> there is no such thing as .ng domain
<`naut> What's Nigeria?
<AcidX> .poor

<distopia> whats the word for that ringing in your ears?
<distopia> begins with T
<overh3at> The Wife

<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to
reproduce"

<Scythe> caps lock is not your friend.
<Scythe> In fact, it is your mortal enemy and it made very
disparaging remarks about your mother.

[06:26pm] <shmoo> did you know if you deleate stuff you get
your giggabytes back?

[Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into
heaven
[Maverick] and you died
[Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
[Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
[BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy

<Syl_Aran> my computer randomly got a bios again
<Syl_Aran> i strangely think it happened when the power went
out.
<Syl_Aran> i don't fucking understand this thing >_<
<TheHumanCow> yeah, i don't think you do

<Katsmall> :( My boyfriend is in the hospital and nobody knows
what he has!
<spknsp3ll> katsmall: what are you doing tonite?
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Griefing.
<spknsp3ll> well if youd like some consoling, i could prolly
squeeze an hour in or two
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Okay... Come on by. I'm very horny.
* spknsp3ll scores
<Katsmall> spknsp3ll: Just note, that he got it right after me
fucking him, and also that I'm a man.

<Porridge> after the prom... we went to stay at this girls
house... they had an assload of good CDs and CD-Rs and a
burner
<bmk> you went to a girls house after prom..... and you were
thinking about burning cd's?

<Urganite> THERE ARE NO BAGELS BUT ONION, AND MOHAMMED IS HIS
PROPHET
<Urganite> ...
<OneiWilly> you are worshipping a false bagel

FrmShft:i got annoyed at myspace today for trying to tell me
about fantastic new job opportunities in my area, which
happened to be a zipcode off
FrmShft:thinking to short out its idiot-circuits, i told it i
was interested in "prostitution" in kansas
FrmShft:i cried when it came back with 12 different listings
for "web designer"

<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.

<nhoj> dont dis on aol 
<nhoj> they put the whole internet on a cd

<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Status> LOL!!
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new
screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with
cyber strangers, thats for sure

<exo> a/s/l?
<exo> i have blonde hair and blue eyes
<exo> i like to run and play with my dog
<torechednodle> i like long walks on the beach and men who
arent afraid to cry
<exo> can i approach you torechednodle
<torechednodle> omg cybersex?
<torechednodle> yes, but please turn on your landing lights
and adjust ILS for approach to vector 160
<exo> there is a dead animal on the runway
<torechednodle> yes dont mind that i was shaving

(timmo) the average testicle is the size of a walnut.
[maff] the average walnut tastes better than the average
testicle

<GfK> these dumbass church people on tv
<GfK> they just said god made the internet
<NoelCower> Bet they're internet creationists and reject
ARPANET

mintgreenfaerie: rice or ice cream?
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice cream.
mintgreenfaerie: hehe, sounds like something from Scooby-doo
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: no
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: that would be
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: rice ream
OmIn0uS DaRkNeSs: which sounds like the name for some sick
asian porno.

<Quasadu> i'm the kind of guy who, when i accidentally see
myself naked in the mirror, i think "my god if i saw that in
the woods i'd shoot it and run back to the car"

<Sinner> how do you stop a cat from trying to fuck your other
cats
<gjvc> get in there first

<ped> man hotmail is so gay
<ped> ecspecially now
<JC_Omega> ped, I've told you before its hotmail not
www.hotmale.com
<@SJr> LOL

<timmo> you know what makes me laugh
<timmo> web cam chicks
<timmo> who try to lick their own nipples
<timmo> but fall short

CaptainRonfornow: How do you  spell idal correctly
CaptainRonfornow: that it right idal
Sylas Cren: idol?
CaptainRonfornow: yeah thats right
Sylas Cren: heh
CaptainRonfornow: i am making a folder of people who are idol
or on phones.. cause i dont want to talk to them