bash.org archive

<+flash> WHER CAN I DOWNLOAD A VIRUS?THAT KILLS MY PC FOR
FREE?
<Server> flash: www.windowsupdate.com

<VerrySpecialUnit> i have 30gb of games now...
<VerrySpecialUnit> and 10 gigs of apps
<hamms> and 0gig of a life

<kapusta> Slut: a woman that fucks everyone. Bitch: a woman
that fucks everyone but you...

[22:19] <savant9> nothin's worse than when you're watchin a
porn and all the sudden they show the expression on the guys
face... i mean c'mon.. is that really what i want to see when
i'm holding my dick

* brokengolfclub goes to hunt down food or sex
<brokengolfclub> whichever I find first
<brokengolfclub> I found some crackers
<brokengolfclub> they didnt really satisfy me
<GreyWulfe> You where supposed to eat them.
<brokengolfclub> damn my roomates girlfriend smells
good.......

( Lev       ) i got to taste pre-mixed coca-cola concentrate
from McDOnalds!
( Lev       ) BEFORE THE WATER!
( Lev       ) WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

<TripleRach> Hmm classical music isn't good for it at all
<MiraiMatt> No classical does not blast
<TripleRach> I can't like open my windows and yell at my
neighbors "HOW BOUT SOME BEETHOVEN MOTHERFUCKERS"

<w|zzy> had to help sister in the shower
<w|zzy> fuck
<w|zzy> as in she couldn't get it hot enouguh

*Josh has joined #artstudio
<Josh> quick guys, how do you reattach the head to a dead
body?

<g_smackchik> did you know that it is anatomically impossible
to lick your elbow...and 75% of the people who hear that
actually try to lick their elbow?
<cochese_04> I've got the statistics in on how much I give a
shit...the numbers are dangerously low!

RetroKid27: Asians know how to haggle
RetroKid27: it's in their blood
Cool4freeReturns: yeah, we do
Cool4freeReturns: our slanty eyes give us the ability to see
the real prices

<BobbyJenkins> Any GLBT fellow Scots going to the Pride Scotia
March at the end of this month in Edinburgh?
<Sensationalism>  I take it you are going? If I go to any
Pride events this year, it'll be my first. I'm excited!
<BobbyJenkins> I was going to but I found out I've got work.
<Lost-Chances> Call in gay.

<PrincessLeia2> once i climbed on the roof at my old
(upstairs) apartment and climbed in through a window when I
didnt have my keys
<Shell Gh0st> I use to do that
<Shell Gh0st> you had a nice apartment

<chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play
because my wrist hurts
<chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
<chris--> and i say swinging a bat
<chris--> and it sounds stupid.
<chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it

<|Dan|> I don't wanna sound gay or anything.. but.. could I
fuck you in the ass?

<omega> i have a question.
<omega> is your community THAT small that you're so bored and
lifeless that you need to spam communities that are 20x
bigger?
<FFk> how about i answer your question, with another question.
<FFk> Have you ever seen a naked man ride a horse?

<zy]x[yz> turtles are like chairs with legs
<mniip> chairs already have legs

<DrTrevorkian> i'm sick of this internet.  i'm gonna make my
own.

<Spooooky> Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell,
I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking?
<Spooooky> They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from
him"
<Spooooky> Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the
catcher

xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy
program?
linenoyz: no
xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil
rights?

(azzkicker) chan ops chan ops whatchta gonna do whatcha gonna
do when they kickban you

<JDigital> We used to have this kick ass game when we were
kids....
<VillainSede> Swallow the chlorine tabs?
<VillainSede> that one takes me back..

<Thuryn>  irc is the u-bend under the sink of society

<Cat`Bored> Would you say it's foolish to make licking one's
elbow a life goal?
<Tumbleweed> you've been trying to do for the last ten
minutes, haven't you?
<Despot> ...
<Despot> don't answer that.
<Despot> please.
<Cat`Bored> I'm making progress.

<SUMO> Yeah, your girlfriend is a slut.
<Marlon_Strike> no she's not.
<TIKKI-MAN_FAEZZ> sounds like it:P
<Marlon_Strike> She simply has an odd sense of humor.
* cloud|I-Saviour looks at Eld and nods
* SUMO nods at Cloud as well.
<Marlon_Strike> ....
<Marlon_Strike> You guys suck...
<Marlon_Strike> I never insult your girlfriends...
<SUMO> We never have any.

<pbqd> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." -Warning label on a swedish chain saw

InaGreendase: he got arrested...
InaGreendase: for sexually harrassing himself..
InaGreendase: yes, himself.
InaGreendase: he was looking in a mirror or something and
saying to himself
InaGreendase: "You're so sexy, you bitch...i wanna fuck you so
bad...you'd look even hotter if those pants were tighter.."
InaGreendase: and that dorm's RD was watching the whole time

<Ian-W> lesbian porn
<Ian-W> actually lesbian/gay porn
<Ian-W> because its like two girls that are guys
<CK-[away]> what would you call 2 hermaphrodites
<Ian-W> tetris

Joins: StubbornBitch
([email protected])
<Analu> Dude! Every woman I've ever known just entered the
chat

<pupkick> 37?
<devinfo> i heard 37 is any 3 digit multiple of 37, when the
digits are cyclicly permutated is still divisible by 37, ie:
37*13 = 481, 148/37 = 4, 37*11 = 407, 740/37 = 20, or oddly
enough, this works in other bases too... 0x37 * 0x19 = 0x55F.
0xF55 / 0x37 = 0x47, or you sucked 37 dicks?

<hapry> Fuck, I just finished bash :(
<k8k8k8k> finished?
<hapry> Yeah...i read it all :(
<treaty> you're officially the lamest person ever

<rockape> "i take my coffee black..... like my men"
<Khel> do you take your coffee in your ass too?

<erl1> my gf is getting 8mbit
<erl1> im glad i didn't dump her
<erl1> im gonna go over to her place with my box and leech

<Corndog24> the corndog got dumped tonight
<The_Freak> Don't worry Corn, you're still cousins, right?

<SSmith> Wow, I was just watching this porno, and the people
in it had the same monitor as I used to

<Brownie> That guy's such a nerd, his first words probably
were "Hello World!"

<TrueBlue> Little Timmy was a chemist, Little Timmy is no
more, 'cause what Little Timmy thought was H20, was really
H2S04.

Venificus:  Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because
of that song?

*MulletMan removes his pants
*BobZilla sets mode +pants MulletMan
<MulletMan> fuck you

( Fuzzy     ) i love the internet
( Fuzzy     ) i just found a resturant, checked the menu, read
two reviews, made a booking and found out exactly where it is
( Fuzzy     ) i'd confidently say that the internet is going
to get me laid tonight
( Fuzzy     ) thoroughly laid
( `46and2   ) wow... and here i was just using it for pr0n

(Atarax) I think I ogle 14 year old girls just to see the
looks on their parents faces

Unbeliever: i got this letter from deakin university the other
day
Unbeliever: and i live like 2 minutes away from them
Unbeliever: and they send it by airmail

<blazemore> kof97, magical drop 3, neo turf masters
<blazemore> couple others
<Brazenhrt> Heh...Magical Drop.
<blazemore> magical drop 3 is great :~)
<Brazenhrt> I didn't say it wasn't.
<blazemore> brazenhrt: i didn't say that you insisted it
wasn't.
<Brazenhrt> blazemore: I didn't say that you said that I
insisted it wasn't.
<blazemore> brazenhrt: you said that you didn't say it wasn't
awesome in response to my saying it was awesome, which
thereafter i said i didn't say that you insisted it wasn't.
<Brazenhrt> Oh god.
<Brazenhrt> Never mind.
* PhorceP 's head explodes

<gwizz> so i broke our microwave today
<gwizz> luckily best buy still sold the same model
<gwizz> so i go get it, bring it home, set it up, and hide the
box in my car
<gwizz> my parents get back and my mom goes 'did you clean the
microwave?'

<InkyGhost>Is it wrong to root for Tom Hank's character's
death in "Castaway"?
<Rob> No, because its Tom Hanks.
<Rob> He starred in Mazes and Monsters, a blantant anti DnD
film.
<Rob> Staring in porn is more respectable than being in that
shit heap.
<Morrigan> Rob, that was before he was established. You have
to take roles like that so you can get better ones.
<Rob> I don't care. Staring in porno would be more respectable
than that.
<InkyGhost> You seem to have an unnatural fixation about
seeing Tom Hanks in porn.
<Rob> Shut the fuck up, Ghost.
<Himi> Busted.

<addendum> !down KorMc
<spodbeet> KorMc (X.X.X.X) Dling "TL.iso" 4GB out of 7Gb at 10
Mbps
<addendum> DAYNG
* gnork orgasms
<gorb> holy shit man, how do you get that?
<gorb> i thought you live in the countryside
<KorMc> i do
<addendum> what the HELL man?
<KorMc> you know the dude who opened the diner next to me?
<bangalore> Peter somethingsome?
<KorMc> yeah him
<KorMc> he got cable for some god-forsaken reason
<KorMc> so i's stealin' from him
<gnork> how the hell did he not catch you yet
<KorMc> the guy knows nothing about computors
<KorMc> So he hired me to "calculate the injectors and
administrate the whatevers"

<orkin> i hate it when im cold but sweaty
<orkin> like my hands and feet
<orkin> my feet are cold
<orkin> but they are sweating
<orkin> if i put socks on them
<orkin> they will sweat in the socks
<Paradigm> I know the feeling
<Paradigm> it's like dreaming that your peeing and waking up
all wet.
<orkin> yeah..
<orkin> kinda
<orkin> wait
<orkin> wtf
<Bejjan> lol
<@Petah> lol
<Paradigm> WHAT ?!
<Bejjan> *falls of his chair*

<FreshBrew> if i ever get arrested for something serious, 20/
20 and Dateline are going to have a field day with my irc
logs.

<mebR> cs players dont need condoms, we use our personality

<r-beretta> wow, rape porn pop-ups.
<r-beretta> that's a first
<[Knob]> ever got incest pop-ups?
<r-beretta> yes, incest is common for me
<r-beretta> IN THE POP-UPS I MEAN

<dilema> acronyms make this world a better place
<AswethinkweServ> lets have an acronym contest
<Lisa[NY]> stfu

<RSN> Classrooms in Canada are actually used for teaching..
not just target shooting like our neighbours to the south..

<AkumaUsagi> because every scoobie doo episode could have been
1 minute long if only someone would have eventually bought a
gun.

<tfg> fuck
<tfg> I need my copy of photoshop
<tfg> Cant find the fucking cd :/
<tfg> This chick who lives not far from me want a picture
<tfg> And I need to take the swastica off my forehead

Mmc1512: YOI KID
Mmc1512: ALL THE LAMPSHADES ARE ON YOUR SUBMARINE
Mmc1512: catch my drift?
NcKmN 1988: wtf lol
Mmc1512: your alarm clocks are made out of cheese
NcKmN 1988: uhhh..
Mmc1512: your car is a boat on the fifth of the week
Mmc1512: get it?
NcKmN 1988: hmmm...
NcKmN 1988: no
Mmc1512: you look like a goriila escaped from alaska
Mmc1512: you need 2 pencils to write but only one hand to see
Mmc1512: understand?
NcKmN 1988: u sniff glue again?
Mmc1512: no son
Mmc1512: back off my shoe box

<ziz> the internet is boring
<ziz> i want the expansion pack

<packrat> HELP
<defected> Looks like it.
<packrat> stfu ur just a lamerz newbie i m an
expert................
* defected waits for the lame question.
<packrat> k now how do i make hacker toolz wih irc
<packrat> plz

* Sakura02 rips Brentai in half and stabs one half with the
other half. >:(

<nikoJ> Terron, what would you do without the internet?
<Terron> I don't understand the question

<Daniel> I am from Texas.
<Daniel> I do not consider myself an American.
<DragonAtma> That's okay
<DragonAtma> As we wish texas wasn't part of the US

<Muppet> *arf arf*
<damnyoure> *slap slap*
<Muppet> *bite bite*
<damnyoure> *bang bang*
<Muppet> *die die*
<damnyoure> *bury bury*
<Muppet> *rot rot*

<Kris> I tried to use an ouija board as a mouse-pad once, but
my stupid <censored>ing mouse kept opening diablo2 when I
wasn't watching

<idiotdude>My mom's boyfriend gave me some magazines and one
of them was an FHM from last month, and i pick it up and a
penis enlargement ad falls out, and the order form is cut out
and theres some notes scribbled on the bottom on how much it
would cost plus shipping and handling

<Carlton> "listening socket" = 11,100 google hits. "passive
socket" = 1,240 google hits.
<Carlton> listening wins. :)
<Carlton> We should just let Google make all our decisions for
us.
<_Bunny> Carlton: "gay" has 65,000,000 hits.  "straight" has
14,300.000.

<@MacG> people take their dogs car shopping?
< Feenyx> they make cars for dogs now?
<@MacG> sure. there are plenty of bitches on the roads :D
< Feenyx> touché

<Daffman> just hold ctrl b4 you start copying and it will take
the color codes too
<dannthr> wheres the b4 button
<Daffman> [dannthr] right next to the any key

Flint62704: Maybe someone should invent floating point D&D
Flint62704: Roll a d[1,6]
Flint62704: I got 4.4546347578554!
Flint62704: Sorry, he still has 0.000002425 hp left
Flint62704: You lose

<mazix> IAN VAN DAHL CASTLES IN THE SKY 8.99 Genre: SOUL/R&B
<mazix> Released: 12/19/1900
<mazix> Country: USA
<mazix> this song is older then i thought
<SJ7Trunks> haha
<Crom> AHHHHHHHHH
<Crom> MILLLENIUM BUG
<Crom> WE ALL GONNA DIE
* Crom hides.

<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi
"carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore:  oh.. I forgot to add airline