bash.org archive

<chao> he and his wife were going to open a ranch for disabled
children
<donna> can they graze there?

<%pan-chan^^> i need about 8+ hours of sleep
<+gabu> yes
<+gabu> but you're from australia
<+gabu> you sleep during the day
<+gabu> don't you ?

<KKK> hey guys check this out, i can say all the banned words,
and not get banned, look
<KKK> FUCK YOU MYDOWNLOADER KAZZA XDCCSPY CRITEN INSIDERZ
* dv sets mode: +b *!*@52DF899E39.addictz.net
* KKK was kicked by dv (banned: Repeated Offence, No Caps!
5min ban)

<Andymc> lawl 156 photos on my phone...
<Andymc> but i don't have a fuxxing way to get them onto the
comp... need a bluetooth dock or summat
<GriM> peel them off and re-apply glue?  Perhaps a mild
solvent to loosen the sticky?
<Andymc> You should apply for a job at Dell...

<StarFreeze2> Cyber blackmail artists are shaking down office
workers, threatening to delete computer files or install
pornographic images on their work PCs unless they pay a
ransom, police and security experts said.
<Duffman> lol
<Duffman> first, i'd tell em to trash all the fucking files
they want. it's costing my boss money, not me
<Duffman> then i'd tell em to put on all the porn they wanted.
i can always use more
<Duffman> gotta have something to do at work
<StarFreeze2> yea lol
<StarFreeze2> "we will put porn on your computer if you don't
give us 2k"
<StarFreeze2> response: hurry and send the porn, i am so
fucking bored
<StarFreeze2> second response: lesbian plz, if possible

<sine> "You couldn't get a stroke of genius if you were giving
a handjob to Einstein."

gnabtuls: Ok, so I take this gay Children's Theater class,
right?
ch405kn16h7: mhm
gnabtuls: and we have this one Jewish girl in there.
gnabtuls: So, one of the groups is doing "The Stinky Cheese
Man"
gnabtuls: and she's playing The Stinky Cheese Man
gnabtuls: and the very first thing to happen in that play is
they bake the stinky cheese man
gnabtuls: ala the one jew in my class gets put in an oven and
baked

*** Ugly_Stick is now known as Bueghty_Stick
*** Bueghty_Stick is now known as Buehty_Stick
*** Buehty_Stick is now known as Buhty_Stick
*** Buhty_Stick is now known as Beuhty_Stick
*** Beuhty_Stick is now known as Beugty_Stick
<Beugty_Stick> how the hell do you spell beughty!

<jamz> So I sent out an email saying that due to a death in
the family I was going to be out for the next two days.
<jamz> one person emailed me back: Please accept my sincere
apologies.
<jamz> I emailed her back: What, did you kill her?

<nastsm0m> jakob do me a favor?
<nastsm0m> never get married
<nastsm0m> never breed
<nastsm0m> in fact don't even date
<Greylark> don't ever leave your room
<nastsm0m> yeah that either
<jakob> you just described my life... :(

<Bravo56> How the hell is a penguin considered a bird? It
can't fly!
<Gremhawk> It has wings?
<Bravo50> Ya, and I have man titties, that doesn't make me a
woman.
<Gremhawk> No, that just makes you a man with larger than
normal breasts.
<Bravo56> Go suck a dick.
<Gremhawk> Your the woman, you do it. I'll just tell you how
good it is.
<Bravo56> I hate you.

<NG-Buddhist> I found something humorously racist on Friday
<NG-Buddhist> I was reading a magazine from my English room
after my exam, about the most influential people of the last
50 years
<NG-Buddhist> and various pictures were cut out, but i didnt
think about it
<NG-Buddhist> then i got to the back of the book, and someone
glued in Rosa Park's picture of her sitting there
<Marcus-> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

* SoulStealer is back -[ auto-away after 60 minutes idle ]-
gone 9 hr 24 min 38 s
<SoulStealer> skold
<SoulStealer> Think you should add a global command in Cygnus?
/notice $*.net get's annoying.
<SoulStealer> guess not.
*** Parts: SoulStealer
([email protected])
<@skold> uh
<@skold> the guy idles for 9 HOURS and leaves in 10 seconds
when i dont answer him

<Spudsta> my my.....is it just me or does banana always taste
and feel a bit weird as it's going thru ur digestive system?
<@`2L> wrong end jess....
<@`2L> put it in your mouth.

<True_Blue> You ever buy ribbed condoms?
<True_Blue> I always turn them inside out, I'm selfish

<Gatsby> Glutamate to Lysine aat 487!
<Insom_BF> what I can't figure out
<Insom_BF> is how you manage to spell glutamate and lysine,
but misspell 'at'

<Meltro> the song you are referring to is 'Dueling Banjos', as
made famous in some hickish movie I don't remember
<Meltro> Requiem for a full set of teeth or something

<Roxus> what's the longest a USB cable can run ?
<zengolfer> Roxus: depends on how much it trains and
conditions

< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with
their locations based on your ip address.
< ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in
winston-salem, apparently.
< shaldannon> lol
< shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around

[LoTek] my girl bleeds a lot.
[LoTek] like, for 5 or 6 days
[LoTek] that cant be normal.
[Dissembler] wow, you should take her to the vet.

<elliptic> does any1 else name their member set/get functions
with "Please" in the end?

<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come
with fries?
<kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
<Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
* GeekRyuu ([email protected]) has joined #subcafe
<GeekRyuu> Hi!
<GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
<Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.

<sWampy> he should have had anikin walk in on jarjar doing
portman, and that be the reason that anikin turned so dark,
and jarjar being luke and leia's father would explain a lot
about why they were so dippy to have such a strong father.
<clemmy> but why would darthvader tell luke he's his father
then?
<sWampy> just to confuse him so he could cut off his hand,
plus he's in denial that his wife would cheat on him with
jarjar.
<clemmy> I guess luke would be more shocked to find out jarjar
is his father
<Harekiet> darth vader still had some good in him so he didn't
want luke to know

PsychoJ: Canada is like........America-lite... All of the
awesome none of the bullshit.

<reflector> I'm skinny and I have a big nose, but girls still
let me touch them sometimes
<Viseus> reflector: Yeah me too. In packed subway trains and
stuff

<Karmer> got damn it i accidently just shit in my pants
<Karmer> brb

<PuddleDuck> God damn it times have changed
<PuddleDuck> ah, there was once a time when we were called
secret admirers
<PuddleDuck> but now we are just called stalkers :(

<The_Enigmatic_Lemur> Hmm whats a nice sophisticated term to
put on a resumé for fast food cook.
<Drain> ...
<ZS|GTA3> ...
<Geno|Morrowind> Hamburger Helper
<ZS|GTA3> Ahahah.
<Drain> ahaha

<[FYAD]Chem-Commando> hey guys
<[FYAD]Chem-Commando> a man with dark skin just picked up my
television and went out the door
<C_Cardigan> reparations for slavery
<C_Cardigan> not a thing you can do

<Teegan> orgasum
<Stressball> theres no U in orgasm
<Stressball> haha
<Stressball> sounds like an anti-rape slogan

[+MadManDaz] I brought a david blane toy 10 days ago. I Still
cant get the fucker out the box.

<SpunOne> To The Taliban:
<SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to
college.
<nersh> To the US:
<nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would
not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store
managers.

Cat1013: Whoops
Cat1013: I just really confused my grandma.
HermitKing: She has IM?
Cat1013: She just got it. I was talking to her, and she asked
about my new car.
Cat1013: I said that it was fine, but that it makes a funny
noise whenever I shift.
HermitKing: So?
Cat1013: I left the "f" out of "shift".

<NuttO> You are promoted.
<MechaMrEd> To?
<NuttO> I don't know. What's Geno's title?
<MechaMrEd> Animefag
<NuttO> Okay, that's your job now. Geno is demoted to Fag.
<MechaMrEd> Oh boy oh boy hey anyone been watching the lastest
digisubs of NEKO NEKO FAG 2112??!?!/ NO???????
<MechaMrEd> It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO kawaii ^^
<MechaMrEd> OKAY DUDES I'LL GUESS I'LL GO WATCH SOME
ANIME!!!!!!!!11111
<MechaMrEd> How am I doing NuttO
<NuttO> You're doing fine.
<Geno> I'm not even like that. :/
<MechaMrEd> That's why you were demoted, you useless BAKA
GAIJIN FAGGOT
* Geno is listening to: Excel Saga - Ai Sincere Heart
<MechaMrEd> Man you're supposed to just be a fag now, can't
you go five minutes without MESSING UP THE ENTIRE SETUP

<Ac3d> uh oh, i think i just sent a nude pic of me to my
friends mom

<Pac>: So I said to my roommate: "Ahomosayswhat?" My Roommate
:  *mumbles incoherently* Pac: what?.............dammit

<CharColt64> I think when you get a roaming charge a lil icon
should pop up, of a guy gettin fucked in the ass

<kaleido> when i was at e*trade i went to a dept dinner thing
and everyone was drinking 20 year old wines and shit, and i
ordered a bud light
<kaleido> everyone looked at me like i called their mother a
cunt

*** Mank_Sleep is now known as Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO
*** Mank_DONOTBOTHERMANKHEISNOWLOO is now known as
Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT
*** Mank_LOOKINGATCHICKSLICKEACHOT is now known as Mank_PORNO

< jonnyLost> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling
slimfast into Ethiopia

<Kayma> shouldn't Cheney have died by now?
<Richard_D_James> Yes
<Kayma> My returning from the future must have changed more
than I thought....

<TraumaPony> So.
<TraumaPony> I am pissed off.
<TraumaPony> My university's motto is "A university for the
REAL world."
<TraumaPony> And so they start off a game programming degree
with six months of LISP.

<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB
port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W

<Prowler> I rekon if i were a super hero i would call myself
"Proctastinator" with the power to Leap tall buildings,
control time, shoot fireballs out of my ass and other cool
super hero stuff
<Prowler> but i'd never get around to doing any of it

<Quadlex> sparc: One of my mates works for a porn company and
is keeping an ear open for vacancies
<moreon> Quadlex: I wouldn't hold my breath on that. I bet
they plug every hole they find pretty quickly.

<Kahran> I need to start passing judgement with an ironfist
<HellmasteR> yes
<Preachidus> it works for me.
<HellmasteR> be all like YOU THERE, OBEY THE FIST
<HellmasteR> and if they dont, fist them good
<HellmasteR> wow, that came out badly

<Birk> Since you know, you get to choose a name when you are
pope
<Birk> If I ever became pope I would choose the name Perri.
<Birk> So then people would call me pope perri, and they would
be forced to laugh whenever saying my name.

<Nate> i have a big problem suddenly
<Nate> i just went to scratch myself
<Nate> had superglue on my hand and didn't realize it
<Nate> my left hand is now superglued somewhere very bad
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Remember, twisting motions will
overstress the glue, hopefully before it overstresses you.
Weirdo_God_of_Insanity is suddenly GLAD he cannot see Nate
right now.
<Nate> .......
<Nate> oh god
<Nate> that hurt..
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> dammit
<Nate> my fingers now glued to the c key
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Well, that's gotta be an improvement,
really.

<Sarah> the first Matrix was damn nice for an action movie.
for an action movie.
<Odin> Corny as hell endings.
<Johnny> Yes.
<Odin> Someone dies. Hell, let's bring 'em back to life with a
kiss, it works in Disney flicks!
<Sarah> Neo kisses Smith?
<Sarah> thanks for spoiling it for me, asstart.

<Incubus> wanking in the shower has a drawback, now the rain
makes me horny

<Link> I'm going to make a PC Case, with a built in fridge.
<Link> never will I be without a cold drink or snack again :D
<pookie> put an athlon in there too
<pookie> and you won't need a microwave either

<Jumper_> for an optimist the glass is half full, for a
pessimist it is half empty, for an engineer it's twice as big
as it needs to be
<Thraddash> for a programmer it has too few interfaces?
<Jumper_> for a programmer it's a Basic Input Output System
(BIOS) with a buffer overflow just waiting to happen

<Helpful-> [Akashra] I have a dream: 2199023255552 bytes free.

<FutabaAoi> i know none of you shower
<Jakov> I shower 40 times a day fool
<FutabaAoi> golden ones dont count

<Duo> i love it when youve been drinking for a while
<Duo> and you think youre completely sober
<Duo> but then you stand up and you're like, "oh there it is"

<Dead_Poets_Society> Phuser has this talent to point out the
obvious
<Phuser> Dead_Poets_Society is receiving oral sex from a
hamster

<Deconstructor> in school, i usually go to the bathroom the
same time everyday, and noone else is there then, so i decided
to be cool one day so i sidestepped in like the doomguy with
my fakegun pointed outward, and i circle strafed right into
this other guy

<Gamblor> are you trying to play NES games on an SNES
emulator?
<Gamblor> or perhaps on notepad.exe?
<RomminAvatar> listen gamblor. SHUT UP!
<RomminAvatar> YOU AREN'T HELPFUL!
<RomminAvatar> AH FUXOR! I WAS USING A SNES!! WORD OF THIS
DOES NOT GET OUT!

<Kintai> Yes, boobs are like toy trains
<Wallaroo> ?
<Kintai> They're meant for children, but grown men tend to end
up playing with them anyway.
<Placebo> hahahahaha
<Placebo> ROFL

<The831st> soy milk makes you gay
<The831st> everytime i drink soy milk i cant help but think
"man, i'd much rather have a dick in my mouth than this."

--- noddy has changed the topic to: #Troll, troll, troll your
post, Gently down the feed. Merrily, merrily troll along, A
life is what you need!

ThePseudoNerd: Nobody was eating any of the food, so I said,
"Finish your food. Think of all the starving kids in Africa."
ThePseudoNerd: And later on, I hadn't finished my drink, so
this kid says, "Finish your beer. Think of all the sober kids
in Africa."

<Blizzard> Man, we have a female wrestler on our team
<Nucleotide> We care why?
<Blizzard> She's PREGNANT
<Sirdoudofapples> Hmmm...
<Sirdoudofapples> Seems like an inefficient way to move up in
weight class...

* Clef is watching The Mask with Jim Carrey
<Gothic> :O
<Gothic> Jim Carrey's at your house!?

<Kennef> what was quetzequatl the patron god of?
<tarvuz> umm
<Wintermute> consonants?

blingbling30012: ugh a photo of my happy family
blingbling30012: ...
blingbling30012: WITHOUT ME...
dannyericci: that's why they're happy

<LoY|Steam> fucks sake
<LoY|Steam> i tell you what is embarassing
<LoY|Steam> when you go on a date with a lass
<LoY|Steam> who is rather plump
<LoY|Steam> and you try to pick her up as a bit of fun
<LoY|Steam> but physically
<LoY|Steam> you cant fucking lift her
<LoY|Steam> worse fucking date ever, got no sex and put my
fucking back out

<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it?

<Aniki> WOW i just found a hidden porn folder on my hdd
<Aniki> brb
<Cyber_Akuma> ...........
<Cyber_Akuma> aniki found the temporary internet files folder