bash.org archive

<SS|Away|Dreaming|> RUSSIAN ROULETTE - Take your chances.  2:1
odds. Type @pull to see if you win or lose - If you loose you
get kicked.
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<SPiN|> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
<Deverz> @pull
<Hsu> @pull
Quits: SS|Away|Dreaming| ([email protected])
(Excess Flood)

defiant_wench: I smoked pot for a month one night

Mmytacism: you know what's fucking pointless?
Mmytacism: a broken pencil
C Spatula: oooh, good point
C Spatula: or lack thereof

<DieHard> I was lagging so bad it felt like i was shouting
binary codes through a pay phone.

<jestuh> we are professional idlers
<jestuh> we don't get paid to chat!

<DAL9000> being alone sucks... i want to stab someone in the
eye, but alas, noone is there.

(tinkrbell) my dog humps my other guy dog.. instead of my girl
dog.. at least he's comfortable with himself and realized it
at an early age

* Warlocke sings, "What a girl wants, what a girl needs, is a
box of Kotex month-lee-ee when she blee-eeds."
<Katrina> OMFG

<necrofile> i wonder what happens if u put your playlist in
your playlist
<DigDug> OMG DON'T!!!!
<DigDug> THE UNIVERSE WILL COLLAPSE :D

<NeonId> general- Internet talk isn't even worth of being
called a dialect.  It's a mutilation of language, and we are
the people who have to compensate for it's brazen idiocy.
<Potato> I'd even say it bites.
<JDigital> lol kthx

[13:49] <Saxon-> but I am still two steps up the evolutionary
ladder from karma
[13:49] *** Saxon- has quit IRC (Read error 54: Connection
reset by peer)
[13:49] <ShadiZar> rofl
[13:49] <`KArmA> THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR FUCKING WITH ME PUNK
[13:49] <`KArmA> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[13:49] <`KArmA> incidentally
[13:49] <Vikki> lol
[13:50] <`KArmA> despite the impressive coincidence
[13:50] <`KArmA> I had nothing to do with that

<Quentil> uh, is anyone a little boggled by the fact that cnn
and msnbc and foxnews seem to be better equiped with stuff
than the entire nation of iraq?
<William> not realy
<Quentil> "now we go to the carrier group and watch the planes
take off.  Okay, we're gonna cut to the guy reporting that
those planes are now over this city.  Let's watch the bombs
fall live.  Okay, now we go back to the carrier and watch the
planes land. 
<William> dont forget the news's armored vehicles
<Quentil> yeah
<William> which are better than Iraqs, in some cases
<Quentil> heh
<William> at least its not like Macross II, where the News
Service had a Variable Fighter
<William> If FOX had a jet fighter, something would be wrong
<William> seriously wrong
<Quentil> that would rock
<Quentil> 'Now we go live to the FOX f-15...which has shot
down three iraq jets so far...The media and gov't are so in
bed with one another for this war it almost would make sense.
<William> dont forget the FOX news broadcasting Aircraft
Carrier station.
* Quentil laughs
<William> and their "Close to the Action" Camera Tank
<Quentil> and the FOX News special ops group.
<William> "Getting News, the SEAL way."

<beretta> i just sneezed and smashed my face into my knee!
<beretta> boy is my face red
<mischief> embarassing :P
<beretta> no, blood.

<myzery> MIAMI -- An 81-year-old woman who arrived in court
Thursday in a wheelchair plotted to smuggle 9,931 doses of
Ecstasy in her luggage on a flight from London, authorities
said.
<matts> hahah
<[prefix]> haha
<matts> What a doofus
<skycriesx> whered u read that
<myzery> the onion

<HuhWhat> Since everyone's comign clean about bad things...
back when I was 15 or 16, my friend invited me along to a
family trip to Palm Springs. We were staying at some motel
with cable, so I figured it'd be a good opportunity to watch
some Iron Chef on the Food Network. Unfortunately, he would
drag me out to the hot springs and the pool where I, who can't
swim, would usually be the butt of his little pranks. He would
drag me down under into the deep end and jab his fingers into
my rib to try to make me drown. Anyways, at around 9:00pm, we
came back into our room to enjoy the instant noodles his
parents were making. I snuck into bathroom to take a piss and
while I was doing so I noticed his little sister's bathing
suit hanging over curtains of the bathtub/shower. It seemed
pretty clear that she had left it there after having taken her
shower. I couldn't resist and hoping nobody was outside, I
pulled it down and sniffed the crotch area where
<HuhWhat> Whoops.
<HuhWhat> Don't read that!
<HuhWhat> Fuck.

<kaleido:#cisco> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at
etrade
<Blaxthos> HEY I'M LOOKING AT PORN OVER HERE
<kaleido> classic moment
<Blaxthos> hahahaha
<kaleido> Blaxthos: i emailed that url to the netops at etrade
<kaleido> 20 cubes all shouting out, "HEY EVERYBOSY, IM
LOOKING AT GAY           PORN!"
<kaleido> followed by 20 guys all in my cube ready to beat me

<Jingoro`> ash has a personality disorder
*** Jingoro` was kicked by Ash (Shut up SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK
UP I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!)
*** Ash sets mode: +b *!*yay@*.mw.mediaone.net

<er0s> you know, i've only ever been wrong once in my life,
and that's when i thought i was wrong but was actually right.

<weasel> i made a thing that turns red when you left click it
and blue when you right click it
<weasel> and now i can't stop clicking it
<sponge> thats sad
<weasel> no, what's sad is that this took me 2 hours to write
and debug

<alice333> ya at 14 you still exploring your own body....boy
<Canasian> LoL exploring?
<Canasian> Girls explore their body
<Canasian> Boys just jack the fuck off

<Ralp> Does it pop up a window that says "WARNING!! Your
computer is currently broadcasting an IP address!  With this
IP address hackers can immediately begin attack your computer!
Click here to enlarge your penis!"

<iMP> my friend just told me a horrible story
<iMP> so, he came to a shop on his bike and left it at the
entrance
<iMP> he was inside the shop only for about 5 minutes
<iMP> when he came out, the bike was still there, but
obviously something was wrong
<iMP> taking a close look, he noticed the absense of pedals.
<iMP> the country where people steal things they don't need at
all just out of boredom has no future :(

<Brandon17> I used to date a blind girl. Her name was ::...
..:.: .:::. .::.. ....: .:.::

liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take
HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small
upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of
thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-(

(Jeopardy) hi I need someone to help me with compiling a small
program
(dgc) Jeopardy: What is gcc?

<Kai> I like big xc,jhagjhrrss and I cannot lie.
<Ben-San> You other brothers can't deny when a fhgargh walks
in with an itty bitty SLAJCHSAFGBG and a big typo in your
face.. :P
<Kai> You get gfdhgfj and you wanna pull up gfyifu because you
notice that xc,jhagjhrrss was djhfdjhf.
<Ben-San> This leads to the eternal question: what rhymes with
djhfdjhf?
<H_Cuz> gjhfdjhf.
<Kai> bjhfbjhf?

<Sheepeep> Welcome to our XHTML <bar />! Sorry, we're closed.

<Noobe> Look at me. I'm topdeck. I use retarded internet
lingo.
<Yawgatog> Noobe: Your nick is NOOBE.
<Noobe> Dude, Noobe is my real life name.
<Yawgatog> lol noobe

<General-Sauron> There was actually something good about
Napster, when you got a song, it was actually a song, instead
of going on p2p's, downloading an MP3, and it ends up being
some dog fucking a woman
<General-Sauron> I mean, I still won, but what if it had been
something sick...

<Anumati> oh, thanks, now i have this vision of bush
staggering around iraq all osbourne style yelling "where are
the fucking weapons of mass destruction?"

<trips> Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of
dialup, I will fear no lag: for thou art with me; thy lights
and thy bandwidth they comfort me. Thou preparest a website
before me in the presence of mine boredom: thou anointest my
ports with data; my hard drive runneth over. Surely fast
surfing and low access rates shall follow me all the days of
my life: and I will dwell in the house of cisco systems for
ever.

<|nqbuss> i have no problem deciding what to do. if i'm
hungry, i eat. if i'm tired, i sleep, if i need to user the
bathroom, i use the bathroom, if none of the above, i sit in
front of the computer

<Wynn> ... I've been single for a long.. long.. long.. time
now...
<Wynn> and the ladies have been warned.
<Gothmog> (as have the men, the livestock and any particularly
animate parts of the vegetation)

<J-Mart> ok
<J-Mart> this is the sickest thing ive ever heard
<J-Mart> this girl that ive been friends with for a long time
<J-Mart> she got plastered last night
<J-Mart> so she starts laughin and told me that she did
something really embarassing and she got grounded
<J-Mart> so im all like "whats wrong babe"
<J-Mart> and she hesitated
<J-Mart> and what came next i would have never guessed
<J-Mart> shes like "i took a poop in my closet"
<wc16> ...rofl
<J-Mart> and i didnt know what to say so i hung up
<kirbster> wtf.... rofl
<J-Mart> then she called back and said she was sorry and not
to tell anybody
<J-Mart> so i promised i wouldnt
<J-Mart> then she was like "maybe the dog did it"
<CJinx> rofl
<J-Mart> SHE BLAMED IT ON THE DOG COME ON
<[SG]> roflmao
<J-Mart> and i stare at her ass all the time!

<arfmcbarf> i'm gonna teach you a lesson you wont soon forget
<arfmcbarf> i.e., how to integrate ln x from 0 to infinity
<arfmcbarf> first you get the antiderivitive
<arfmcbarf> of ln(x)
<arfmcbarf> i.e., 1/x
<arfmcbarf> then i forget the rest

<JinBOT2000> beware
<JinBOT2000> or I will reveal my BIGGEST CREATION
<JinBOT2000> <")3
<JinBOT2000> A CHICKEN
<JinBOT2000> IN ASCII
<JinBOT2000> Dare you test me, boy?

<zidane> hackquest.de is encrpyted! 
<alucardo> german isn't an encryption method 
<ps> the infamous "DE" Cypher

[Sioux]: OMG!
[Sioux]: THAT JOKE IS OLD!!!!!!!!
[Sioux]: It's over 10 years old. I told it to all my friends
back in 1991.
[CwR]: Run out of fingers to calculate the exact difference?
:)

<Blake`> Buffalo wants to draw in the film industry.
<Blake`> What the fuck are they gonna film there?
<`Edwin`> Fargo, part 2?
<Blake`> "The Adventures of Nanook the Eskimo"?
<`Edwin`> Call of the Wild?
<Blake`> "Dude, Where's My Economy?"

bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh fuck u

<k8_fan> I have this nightmare that I die suddenly...and
everyone I know starts looking through my browser cache.
* Hogie-One has that same dream!

<ckx> i'd love to become a hit man
<ckx> not because i like killing people
<ckx> just for the nice suits
<ikkenai> and the bitches

<Brando457> wait NJ is east coast right
<PizzaMind> ...
<PizzaMind> dont you live in NJ?
<BRando457> yea

(@Morkoth) i drove over a man changing his tire on the highway
once
(@Morkoth) they never caught me
([P]Rhea) *The FBI monitors all channels on IRC*
(@Morkoth) fucker ruined my suspension
(@Morkoth) Did I say drove over? I meant got out and helped
(@Morkoth) yep helped him change the tire
(@Morkoth) after setting off regulation flares, and parking 3
meters from the bumpber and activating my four way signals

<{Stone}> Television is called a medium since is it so seldom
rare or well done.

(slippy): saw chocolate boxer shorts yesterday
(slippy): it said "may contain nuts"

Draketh: I got a piercing last night
Draketh: and I don't really regret it even though it was a
decision made totally under the influence
Finn: ...
Draketh: so we're sitting around another fire blowing things
up since it's the 4th and drinking, I walk over and sit down
and the topic is piercings so we start talking, eventually it
shifts to genital piercings
Finn: ...
Draketh: I mentioned always being interested in a prince
albert, and this girl that was there that was like a friend of
one of my cousins friends or some shit
shes like "I work at a piercing parlor, I have all my shit in
the car I can totally do that right now"
Draketh: It was legit, like steralized tools in sealed
packages and everything, bowl of alcohol to soak the tools in,
she wore gloves.
Draketh: It was like being at a piercing parlor
Draketh: Except I was in a big ass comfy patio chair with a
bottle of Makers
Finn: I just.... I don't think I could ever let someone shove
anything through my penis
Draketh: actually I think it's gonna be hilarious
Draketh: like I have no tattoo's, no other piercings and then
like BAM "Suprise!"
Draketh: it's like opening the plain brown wrapped gift on
Christmas, and instead of a sweater it's a new laptop
Draketh: see, the laptop is my dick
Finn: .... just.... wow

<Yajinden> I like this temperature-based designation system we
have.
<Yajinden> it's good to be hot, and it's good to be cool, but
it's not good to be frigid, and it's not good to be flaming.

<KublaiKhan> Pedophiles are like the tortoise.
<KublaiKhan> They want to get there before the hare does.

<semi> ThePikmin: oh yeah? well i can increase my penis size
up to 3 full inches!
<ThePikmin> my penis size is already 3 full inches

<Guilty> Pen, you're going to hae to give something up
<Guilty> You cant go to a gym and run geekissues.org

<SamGod> I turn on the faucet to wash my hands, put my hands
in the stream of water, and all of a sudden I stop and get
TOTALLY grossed out and I'mlike "Oh GROSS, dammit!!" thinking
I just got a ton of piss all over my hands.  Then I realize
it's a freaking FAUCET and water comes out of it, not piss. 
What the HELL was my brain thinking?

<postlogic> You should -never- go back and look at
spur-of-the-moment written code.
<postlogic> It's like watching yourself throw up in replay.

<Anton> mainly becauseone day I'll have a car and drive to
every single girl who ever said I was cute
<Anton> so be warned and prepared
<angelic> will do.
<Anton> oh and by prepared I meant naked

<Ortem> You see...My penis is very much like a sherbert dib
dab
<Graeme> short, thin, soft and often in children's mouths.

<@Kamui> whats a flamewar without music?
<@Kamui> xD
<Br0thershin> Religion.

<naga> 'dixy normus' won for class princess this year at our
school
<naga> at the assembly, they called her name, but she didn't
come down to take the prize
<naga> took 'em 5 minutes to figure it out
<parnbl00d> sounds sexual.
<parnbl00d> was she absent or somethin?

<BMPthePNG> haha
<BMPthePNG> I put on smashing live and my cat laid down and
purred
<BMPthePNG> so I thought 'hmmm' and put on System of a down
<BMPthePNG> she went and attacked the dog

<meeps> i saved a girls life tonight
<DJ-Quack> well meeps?
<meeps> this terrorist came around the corner and tried to
kill her so i shot his head off
<DJ-Quack> omfg meeps
<hpr> lol :P
<meeps> hahaha
<DJ-Quack> you asshole
<DJ-Quack> ;[
<LawnMM> did he respawn?
<meeps> Yeah, next round

<danly> 'cause you know, behind every nympho-elf there's a 40
year old man living in his parent's basement just hoping you 
ll make a pass at him so he can initiate cybersex.
<Xore> many 40 year old men are better at cybersex as
nympho-elves than most nympho-elves
<danly> That's strangely insightful and revolting at the same
time

<mETRo> you shoulda taken it back to walmart lol
<mETRo> they take anything back
<zx2ms> dude serisouly I was read to just throw it away and
buy a new one
<zx2ms> instead of go through the hassle
<mETRo> you could bring in a box of used rubbers there
<mETRo> and theyd be like "was there anything wrong with them?
"
<[xENo]> just set the kid on the counter
<zx2ms> lol

<DMC[hi]> IF i had a nickel for everytime a black man tried to
have sex with me.... i could have built a house made out of
nickels in the middle of the woods to secretly masturbate
about black men having sex with me

<bob> someone just asked me what tubgirl was
<bob> :D
<Gargoyle> Its like the matrix.
<Gargoyle> You can't be told what it is.
<Gargoyle> You have to take the blue pill and experience it
for yourself.
<Gargoyle> preferably take 2 or 3 blue pills actually

<Trendarth> wb
<Yamatto> ta
<Trendarth> np
<@antix> why does everyone talk in two letters these days...
<Trendarth> dk
<Trendarth> because our society promotes slothenly behaviour
<@antix> ok

<DrWoody> List of things I have accomplished today:
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> ...
<DrWoody> That is all.

<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq

<Luney> i dunno i took an icq test and it said 180

<gee-1> we should market heart monitor devices that're like
implanted. so if you die, it'll remotely run a program, to
like make your computer log in, get on irc, and msg your
friends that you're dead

<Rivorus> i feel stupid cuz i can never open the godam condoms
<Rivorus> and then when i get it on i feel even more dumb cuz
I'm the only one in the room