bash.org archive

<ck10k> is there any site where you can dig up data on someone
if you have their social security number?
<lux> hahah
<ck10k> damnit. the information age my ass

*** cK|idle has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN
now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)
*** bunka has quit IRC (penisland.com - order your free PEN
now from pen ISLAND! We don't suck.)
<ce|Chanto> umm thats not pen island thats penis land

<erkdrvn666> I will one day overthrow Microsoft, I am a better
programmer than that faggot bill gates...
<shadowylight> really... THATS COOL...
<erkdrvn666> Hold on a sec, someones at door
<shadowylight> wutever
::: [email protected]> erkdrvn66
([email protected]);
<shadowylight> erik?!
<shadowylight> brb kalling erik
<weezelpunk> sure thing buddy
<shadowylight> weird his phone is disconnected......

< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me
a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and
labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss

(MolsonCanadian) http://www.cnn.com/2002/EDUCATION/11/20/
geography.quiz/index.html
(TheOneShamrock) 70 percent cannot find New Jersey, 49 percent
cannot find New York, 11 percent cannot find the United
States  <--- THOSE are the scary ones!
(anticimex) ROFL doesn't the US have schools?
(anticimex) Only 71% can find the pacific ocean!
(Moik) Lord save us if THAT'S the Protector of the Free World.
(Moik) "Quick, they need our help guarding freedom in
Malaysia!"
(Moik) Later in Amsterdam...
(Moik) "Malaysians sure smoke alot of hash!"

<Crappy> tbe
<Crappy> er
<Crappy> the internet is cool
<Crappy> my triumphant statement somewhat dampened by my
inability to type "the"

<The_Roach> Well, the boss' wife needs me to fix her computer.
<The_Roach> You know what that means.
<Anton> you're gonna be fixing a computer for a bit?
<Waldo> pr0n music stuck in your head?
<The_Roach> Yes and yes.

<Sugizo> "Bother" said Pooh. "j00s 4ll my bi4tch3s"

<alien> someone in norway is probably like "what de fuck? bork
bork!"

<sal> how to best explain the need for distributed systems to
management? redundancy?
<Morbus> bodies.
<Morbus> think about it: if you bury a single body in one
place, when the police find it, you're screwed.
<Morbus> but cut a body up and bury it all over the place, and
you're maximizing your potential.
<sal> yeah im sure that'll hit close enough to home

scruss: a guy called us and complained because his dsl didn't
work, come to find out he had win98 and actually took a knife
and trimmed the rj45 connection to fit into the rj11 jack

<Kazz> I will only baby talk to my kid.
<Kazz> Even when he's 40.
<JDigital> hee
<Kazz> "How's my cutest little sweet baby pie pumpkinheeeead?"
<Kazz> "Fuck off, dad."
<Lee-Ham> Issum wiggle umpkins?
* Silkenray laughs
<Kashan> I'm going to teach my kid the wrong words

<Syberia> FUCK i'm dead
<Syberia> i was flirting with this 15 y/o chick i met on halo
<Syberia> she went to use the little girls' room
<Syberia> her 11 y/o sis walked in and saw what she was doing
<Syberia> got her mom, who read the whole MSN convo
<Syberia> she starts talking to me, telling me her daughter's
only 12
<Syberia> you'd think she'd get pissed at her daughter but no,
now someone's mom who i don't even know in ohio now knows my
phone # and thinks i'm a pedophile
<SirChris> dude, chicks don't play halo

Nightcrawler3122: dude, this whole Xbox 360 craze is horrible
Nightcrawler3122: i mean, people are being held at gunpoint
for their 360s
Ziddy5: of course
Nightcrawler3122: its so stupid
Nightcrawler3122: all the while, Bill Gates is laughing while
playing his Xbox 720

<dDG> Wait... what the hell
<dDG> There's this NASCAR all-star thing on
<dDG> and there is rap for background music
<dDG> NASCAR and rap music...
<wc16> rofl
<dDG> The terrorists have won

<jonathans> brooklyn rules
<jonathans> some dude just leaned on his horn in his old
italian mobster car and it played the theme to the godfather

<Berzerker> i shit too big
<Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
<Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
<Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
<Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"

<Revolution_Man> I want to be launched out of my coffin at my
funeral.
<RandomMan> hahah
<Inferno> Liar.
<Revolution_Man> With a tape recording attached to the body
saying "I'M STILL ALIVE, CATCH ME!"

<Lucent> i'm just about fucking tired of middle schoolers
named samantha e-mailing me for chemistry homework
<Lucent> without giving a picture

<CHAT Phut>  I'm a rebel.
<CHAT Phut>  Yesterday, I crossed the street and I only looked
TO THE LEFT!
<CHAT Phut>  (you are supposed to look both ways)

::: [email protected]> DogGoBoom in #p-raves; I'm so horny the
crack of dawn had better be careful around me

*** Joins: lick_me_man ([email protected])
<@splicer|work> lick_me_man: <-- one of the lesser known
superheroes

Zizzy: The Bible was the first known recorded Wiki, proving
once and for all that Wikis are destined to be screwed up by a
bunch of teenagers.

<John5> ben
<Ben> what
<John5> i dont know how to say this but
<John5> ......
<John5> im gay
<Ben> :|
<Ben> omfg
<Ben> really?
<John5> yeh
<Ben> omfg
<Ben> well
<Ben> good luck
<John5>APRIL FOOL
<Ben> what the fuck are you on?
<Ben> its teh middle of june
<John5> .........fuck

<Crispy`> My teacher let me Clear the junk off the student
computers in class today. Total AIM Buddy Lists cleared for
good: 5 Total videos of kiddy porn deleted: 3 Total MILF
Hunter videos deleted: 4 Total Virus games downloaded off
kazaa in hopes it will be the right game: 7 Knowing I'm not
alone: Priceless.

* KnacK is busy studying for his urine test
* Fembot notes Knack failed his last test -- he kept peeking @
the guy beside him.

<Podex> Hey Aboshi, I'm cooking some ramen right now
<Podex> OH SHIT STIR OCCASIONALLY

<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat
will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again...

Pep Boy Manny02: I was a little disappointed yesterday.
Pep Boy Manny02: Got "Religion for Dummies" from the library.
Pep Boy Manny02: You know how the "...For Dummies" books
usually have the bomb icon for, "Don't do this!"?
Pep Boy Manny02: This one didn't.

<_ry0suke_> My dad has no nuts
<Deathwinter> Really?
<_ry0suke_> OOPS, I meant my cat

<Karp> If love is a game.... where can i buy the
multiplayer-version?

<DeathscytheFish> I think the reason i'm not good with girls
stems from the fact that the first time I ever called a girl
was also the day that the girl's mom was killed in a car wreck
and i'm trying to pick her up without knowing this and she
proceeds to rip me a new one
<Kevyn> You didn't say "I'll let you call me mommy" to her,
did you?
<Brandon64> Fish, you should have broke the ice with a "Yo
mama is so fat..." joke
<Amber> Yo mama is so dead...
<Kevyn> "My mom died" "Haha yeah, that's the oldest one in the
book"
<Brandon64> "Knock knock"  "Who's there"  "Your mom"  "Your
mom who?"  ...silence...then 5 minutes later, "Get it?  She's
dead! HAHAHAHA, let's go bowling!"

<drew> um..quick..does anybody remember how to make a cat
vomit?

<drag0n> Subject: threat level raised
<drag0n> Due to explosives that were found under a rail bed in
France, the Chirac government has raised the threat level in
France to the second highest level.  The President of France
announced that as of 10:00 a.m., the threat level will
officially go from "run" to "hide."

<Mick> bolsh... you are my favourite guy on this channel!
<bolsh> same.
<Mick> HAHA..I MEANT FAVOURITE TO FANTASISE AND WANK OVER!
<bolsh> same.

Drewtetz: you may be dropping rhymes, but I've tapped the
zeitgeist, I smack you so hard your mom told me to "Play nice!
"
Jon: drew.
Jon: you just rhymed "zeitgeist."
Jon: WTF?!

<b[a]rt> hey guest1!
<Guest1> hi
<b[a]rt> what's up?
<Guest1> male

<@norman> so, how many dates do you have to go on before it
changes from assault to domestic violence

* semi realises that  my videocard is better then MrP-'s old
computer
<MrP-> hell, i masturbate at a higher frequency than my old pc

*** Now talking in #c++
<ZorbaTHut> *insert clever witticism here*
<larne> *insert witty and humourosly insulting reply*
<ZorbaTHut> *insert quick knowledgeable come-back*
<larne> *insert nitpick on minor grammar issue*
<ZorbaTHut> *insert overgeneralization regarding your race/
gender/profession/sexual habits*
<djSwish> *insert kickban*
<ZorbaTHut> *insert mostly unrelated comment about nazis*

<R3Co][L> i really need to reinstall PS
<R3Co][L> fuck knows where ive put my cd
* Ghozt is now known as fuck_knows
<fuck_knows> it's under the clothes on your floor.

<[SkiTzO]> i think the dump i just took was alive.

<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on

<evildoer> EXCERRENT
<Kitsa> what are you babbling on about?
<evildoer> EYE BOUGHT A NEW GITARE AND POLICE QUEST + SWAT
COLACTIAN
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> ah
<evildoer> IT ES TEHS QUALETY GITIR FOR 5 DOLARS
<Kitsa> flea market?
<evildoer> yas
<Kitsa> what did you barter, your spelling ability?

FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship
with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what
one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just
that someone who's very confusing at times.
SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing

<aeonite> if you wrap your heat sink in tissue paper it will
last longer
<asshat> yeah I know!
<kmad> haw
<BChikapa> I just tried that anFIRE FIRE OMG

<adr> if kashmir gets nuked we won't have any soft wool
sweaters any more
<TS> thats cashmere you tool

<AssBlade> man wtf
<CobraCommander> No manual entry for wtf.

<Measure> if I was a mom I wouldn't be anti-porn
<eva> my dad takes the 'well at least he's not gay' position
<waffle> eva: yeah, the jokes on him
<eva> shut up fag
<eva> IM NOT GAY

<SJr|Tecra> I'd shit my pants if my girlfriend said she was
pregnant.
<robb> i'd shit my pants if you had a girlfriend

<JtotheB> and i think i need to start wearing pants when i
climb that tree in your yard
<Shiv_DFA> you found the boobytraps, did you?
<JtotheB> i got a shuriken in my scrotum
<JtotheB> you tell me

<drlion> what size t-shirt fits me?
<drlion> i'm a thin, normal-height 17 year old guy
<drlion> medium? large?
<moira> consult a pre-existing tshirt in the wooden object
located in your current domicile, also known as a "chest of
drawers"
<drlion> damn it
<drlion> i would never have thought of that
<drlion> thanks

<darkness> anyone heard about the new startrek movie yet?
<freddy66> YAH INCHERECTION IS SUPPOSTED TO BE GOOD I SAW IT
LAST WEEK AND ENJOYED IT
<darkness> ...did he just say what I think he said?
<questie> I believe he just admitted to being russian, but I'm
not quite sure...

<punkassjy> i hate those goddamn jesus freaks with their
wwjd.  i mean, wtf?
<yapper> you mean wtfwjd!  lol!
<punkassjy> rtfb!

<Xerox> My first kid won't have a name, he'll have to pick his
own at the name selection menu.

<_sho_> Did you hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a
bra?
<RichiH> _sho_: that was so bad, it hurt

*** anonimis has joined #kdl
<anonimis> join #5fm
<orbit> erm...
<orbit> what?
*** anonimis was kicked by orbit (dont advertise in here)
<Quench> lol
<Quench> he missed the /
<Quench> you moron

<+Silver> first thing im going to do when i become president
<+Silver> is shoot down all the aliens
<MephistoSan> mexicans don't fly

<AnthraX3D> White Ninja comics are racists
<AnthraX3D> Why no black ninja?
<ErectuZ> Because ninjas don't carry guns

(@b0wser) i like the fact that she says "we can still arrange
fuck dates" even though we're not together
(@Bocki) a fuck girlfriend: nothing better then that
(@jason127) I had a relationship like that
(@jason127) then one day she just disapeared
(@jason127) then two years later i seen her in Tatoo magazine
(@jason127) she had moved to Ohio
(@Bocki) sounds like Forrest Gump - The XXX Version

* Cassa gets naked and covers herself in blood from her
missing fingernail
<utopian> "It looks like you're writing a letter"
<@DumHed> ok utop that is officially the funniest thing you've
ever said

<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that
my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
<Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
* uneasier runs away

<Twofish> Someone is mounting me every minute

<Paragon> :j
<Metal_Massacre> is that supposed to be a happy guy with
herpes?

<TossMonkey> well, people who take a test on the internet to
see if they have a personality should already know the answer.

<Aerion> I haven't rebooted Windows for a week and it still
hasn't started leaking memory.
<AndrewT> freaky
<AndrewT> you'd better get that thing to microsoft before it
starts becoming useful

<trance> ooo the heat is on in my house, my dad must have
gotten a raise

<catnip> I saw this hot azn grrrrl today
<catnip> totally doable in many ways, none of which are the
way that God intended
<Crispy`> Well, that doesn't leave lots of room.
<Crispy`> I mean, minus making your own hole and fucking it,
every orifice is fair play.

<chiptuned> I just noticed that I have a worn out pattern in
the shape of a boner on my underwear