bash.org archive

<Kash> I have a large bulge in my pants.
*** Kash was kicked by Kiler (let the gerbil out)

<kw> heh, got woken up with a blowjob to day.. thats a
seriously nice way to wake up
<Nathan> heh
<Nathan> you sleeping at your parents again?

--- Received a CTCP FINGER from Tru7h
<scythe> stop fingering me, Tru7h
<Tru7h> im just testing it out
<Tru7h> I have never fingered anyone before
<Tru7h> ...
<Tru7h> oh god
<Tru7h> that so didn't
<Tru7h> sound right
<scythe> excuse me while i quote that

<ilius> I'm a canadian
<ilius> theyre sending me on a peacekeeping mission somewhere
undisclosed as of yet
<sanzo> i think you mean "im going to try and stop a genocide
in africa without weapons"

<Starchild> Someone say something clever/interesting/
homoerotic, I'm bored.
*** Starchild was kicked by Defcon (All your base are belong
to gay men. Sex.)

<ckx> i wish i had a gf who was into really cheap things
<ckx> like 5 cent rings from vending machines
<ckx> then i'd be in heaven
<ckx> "yah i got you something today... it's a gumball"
<ckx> "OH WOW LETS FUCK"
<ckx> stupid women
<mdl> haha

* Ultima falls off a cliff
<Ultima> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
<Ultima> Wham
<Ultima> oooh dat hurt
<Ultima> lol
<BigGeorgieB> typing that sentance hurt?
<Ultima> naw itz a joke
<Ultima> *drum roll*
<BigGeorgieB> *silence*
<Ultima> *cymbol clash*
<BigGeorgieB> *gun shot*

<joeman> Rosa Parks is my idol.
<joeman> I, too, refuse to get up out of my seat.

<Lisy-lis> ..am I a geek for trying to make the top quotes on
bash have exactly 1337 votes?

<sh> I wonder if odor eaters compete for odors, since
presumably they need them to survive

jaylane0910: oh gross
e l i t e  m r p: ?
jaylane0910: my cmoputer science teacher corrupted the word
g-string for me
e l i t e  m r p: heh
jaylane0910: she said she was writing her own string lib
jaylane0910: her name is Gioviana or something
jaylane0910: and she caled it GString
jaylane0910: and shes ugly
jaylane0910: and damn

<seph2k> The idea of old people getting it on makes me SICK
*BARF*. MANDATORY CASTRATION AFTER THE AGE 60. Man I hate
people.
<toad-> I agree with seph2k
<toad-> I think old people should be killed at birth

<dp> theres no games stores near me
<dp> and by near i mean walking distance
<dp> and by walking distance i mean within 30 metres

<magnafi> portuguese is very dificulty to speak
<magnafi> its like chinese or japanese..
<magnafi> very dificulty
<litigator> kind of like english
<magnafi> english is too much easy to speak

<OppeSnopp> anyone know how to clear the history out of
explorer's damned "textbox memory"? (dont
wont my wife to get 'black monseter cocks' when
she's going to do a google that starts          
with the letter b)

<notgoth> FUCK DAMN IT
<notgoth> i shot cum in my eye
<notgoth> fuck that burns
<notgoth> i was jerking off
<notgoth> and damn!
<notgoth> ow
<enex> were you jerking off to your dick or something?

<SYch0> where do you specify how many levels of a web page you
want to save when you save it? :|
<enar> just use teleport pro and like have it save only .jpgs
over so many kb :/
<DigDug> use teleport pro or wget
<SYch0> cuz im saving as a single file
<SYch0> im not saving porn!
<enar> why would you save a webpage then :/

<punchcard> you know you're a geek when you read the headline
"Bush won't order ports reopened" and think they are talking
about a firewall
<punchcard> "By order of the President of the United States of
America, -A input -p boats -l -j reject."

<Tremens> also while getting dressed today I have come to the
conclusion that I am never buying fruit of the loom underwear
again.
<Tremens> something about having FTL printed all around my
crotch is not the sort of message I want to convey about
myself

<|Z|e|N|> A nick name is like a wife. You get bored with it
but cant really change it, and if anyone else nicks it then
theyre dead

JoshQ: hey a kid just got hit by a car outside my house.
vietchino: call 911
JoshQ: i will when my download is done.

* FL|Oz has joined #gamesnet
<FL|Oz> OH LEET
<FL|Oz> i am not banned anymore
* [29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa has joined #gamesnet
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> YAY
<FL|Oz> were u banned too?
<[29thFC]Sgt1c-Killa> no i forgot how to use mIRC

<Raven`> summer can suck ass so bad sometimes
<Raven`> I mean sure, it's nice out and women are less clothed
<Raven`> but there's nothing to watch on tv

<DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him
santa.
<XtACY> ???????
<DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack

Session Start: Thu Dec 12 21:34:30 2002
<burzzzzzz> 23:56:55
<burzzzzzz> 3 more mins !! :D
<cystum> till what?
<burzzzzzz> i can drive on my own
<burzzzzzz> 00:00:01
<burzzzzzz> !!!!
<milolilo> you're free!
<burzzzzzz> <-- officialy a driver !! :D
Session Start: Sat Dec 14 19:38:29 2002
<burzzzzzz> i had a little disagreement with cement pilar
while looking for a place to park my car :/

<brently> i want a girl
<enigmiac> me too
<brently> a good girl
<enigmiac> we'll see
<brently> a partner
<enigmiac> good girls are hard to fuck
<enigmiac> er,
<enigmiac> find FIND!
<enigmiac> I MEANT TO SAY FIND
<brently> mmhmm

Garby: I just have to find a crafty way to avoid them on
Monday.
Pollerskates: Wear a Madeleine McCann Halloween costume.
Pollerskates: They'll never be able to find you.

<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you?
<DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y"
<Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'.
<Stryst> Go away moron.

<derp>I'm pretty sure bash moderators just ctrl-f every quote
for "penis, sex, masturbate, bash, nigger," and anything that
doesn't generate a hit is rejected. They probably have an
automated script, in fact.

(Matt^^^) I got an A+ in home ec, cuz I helped marinate the
teacher's fish, if you know what I mean

<Snoogans> oh man...I forwarded the goatse.cx site to a
shitload of people at work
<Snoogans> heeh
<Snoogans> all I heard was OH FUCK
<Catcher80> lmao
<Snoogans> it was gold
<Catcher80> where do you work?
<Snoogans> a large internet security company
<Catcher80> haha
<Catcher80> "do your security holes look like this?"
<Snoogans> I sure hope not
<Snoogans> then any homo can get in
<Snoogans> HAHAHAHAH

<ambrgone> the way i figure it, if the hard drives go at
7200rpm on 12V, on
240V, they should go.... EVEN FASTER!!!!!

disturbed c0w: but jesus
disturbed c0w: how can you read all of bash
disturbed c0w: thats like reading the dictionary except cock
is in there a lot of times

<pSa007> what is the difference between nintendo64 and
commodore64?

<happy> dude, when will i be able to buy a big gigantic fibre
line for like $10/mo?
<jre> You can make one for free if you eat a lot of bran.

<OutlawStarwind> Dude for this one question it asks "Do you
ever second guess your answers?" I checked "No" then went back
a second later and checked "yes" then checked "No" again... I
think I have a problem.

<Snojoe> Lemme ask you somethin
<Gnarly> Okay...
<Snojoe> If you date a two-headed chick, and you want sex, and
one of them says no..
<Snojoe> is it rape?
<Gnarly> you dont have much free time, do you?
<Snojoe> Time is a factor here, man... need an answer

<conceited> i cant sleep till i know im using up half of the
neighborhood bandwidth

<PamelaPeaks> i love when you start at a computer screen for a
long time and words start to meld...
<PamelaPeaks> so the "Harry Potter Box Set" becomes the "Harry
Potter Sex Bot"

*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)

<Mike_Works> There should be holes in massage tables so if you
get an erection when you're getting a massage, you can just
put it in the hole, so you don't have to stick your ass in the
air.
<Mike_Works> There should also be midgets under the tables.
Midgets who need the money.

<Bushman> my inet sucks
<pikey> oohh
<impulse> does she swallow?
<Bushman> impulse: yes, my TCP packets

<@dustin> tonight is not my night
<@Patrick> ?
<@dustin> i was putting on some socks..and when i was pulled
the sock up, my hand slipped and hit my nuts..then i fell over
cause it hurt so bad and when i fell i hit my head on the
counter
<@dustin> :(
<@Patrick> wheres the fire?
<@dustin> ermm?
<@Patrick> why were you pulling your socks up so fast
<@dustin> i wanted to get back on irc

<pagan> have you ever sneezed while taking a shit?
<pagan> explosive reaction, to say the least
<goatgirl> you even been inside a woman when she sneezes?
<goatgirl> major vagina clench
<Juxta> yay for vagina clentch
<goatgirl> i usually sneeze 5 times in a row
<goatgirl> just think, 5 vaginal clenches is quick succession
<pagan> im gonna throw ground peper in my wifes face tonight
when im fucking her :D
<goatgirl> hahahah

<Moe_Rahn> Hey, I actually got mail at 1:40!
<Moe_Rahn> Spam mail, but still.
<MagFire> i didn't even get that
<Moe_Rahn> Haha.
<Moe_Rahn> I'm more specialer.
<Moe_Rahn> All the recently legal 18-year-olds are after my
wang, apparently.
<Moe_Rahn> If this many teens were after me in high school,
I'd still be there.
<MagFire> I'm still pretty excited about the potential for
getting a larger fckstck and bigger boobs
<MagFire>:D
<Moe_Rahn> If everyone responded to those ads, we'd all be
walking about with 8-mile-long cocks and like size 88ZZZ
breasts.
<Moe_Rahn> Those inches would add up...
<Moe_Rahn> Three inches here, five there, and all of a sudden,
WHAM! Mr. Happy's a frickin' behemoth!
<MagFire> I don't think I would want like a 14 inch cock,
personally.
<Moe_Rahn> It's odd, though... you always get mail about
increasing penis length, but never penis girth.
<Moe_Rahn> What good is 14 inches or 3 feet or whatever if
it's got no girth to back it up...?
<MagFire> what good is 14 inches or 3 feet if you don't have a
warm place to put it?
<MagFire> =)
<Moe_Rahn> Point made.
<Moe_Rahn> You could like put it through a person.
<Moe_Rahn> Or you could be a dancer, I guess.
<Moe_Rahn> Some people might pay money to see a 3 foot cock.
<MagFire> You'd probably be pretty popular in porn
<MagFire> but seriously...how would you even WALK with a 3
foot penis?
<Moe_Rahn> Yeah.
<Moe_Rahn> You'd have to get like a sheath for it.
<MagFire> rofl
<Moe_Rahn> But, would it be 3 feet up or down?
<Moe_Rahn> That could make a difference.
<MagFire> Okay, this conversation is finished.
<Moe_Rahn> Okay... boy, the shit you think of at 2 AM.
<Moe_Rahn> So... um...
<Moe_Rahn> How 'bout them Rams?
<MagFire> I dunno. How 'bout them?
<Moe_Rahn> I dunno either... I was trying to make
non-penis-related conversation.

<Worm|PHP> I downloaded a ton of albums .. all encoded in 128
... later I will reencode to 192
<Worm|PHP> bunch of AC/DC albums :)
<clue1ess> reencode? :P
<Worm|PHP> decode then encode again at 192
<clue1ess> will the quality really improve?
<Worm|PHP> yes it does
<CDBuRnOuT> If anything, you lose quality.
<Worm|PHP> I have done it before many times
<Worm|PHP> I can send samples if you want
<Worm|PHP> I have the same song at 128 .. decoded it .. then
encoded it at 192 ... there is a big difference
<CDBuRnOuT> You're attempting to defeat the basis of the
format you're encoding in by trusting your ears. Lower
bitrates sacrifice pitches, etc. to lower the mp3's size,
decoding and reencoding will not get those sacrificed items
back.
<CDBuRnOuT> lots of people cannot tell the difference between
128/160/192, etc.
<Worm|PHP> you can with this ... just check it then see
<Worm|PHP> by what you say there shouldn't be a difference ..
and if there is .. then it would sound worse
<Worm|PHP> oh well .. sounds a 100% sharper and clearer .. the
128 sounds so muffled ... back to designing

<tttb> Why did the programmer quit his job?
<tttb> because he didn't get arrays

<PoisonPen> Those of us who were on Usenet back when it was
all computer geeks,
scientists, and university students remember when the tsunami
of AOLusers came
in.  We thought it was the Gotterdammerung... until WebTV came
and revealed
the AOLusers as veritable towering geniuses compared to the
slope-browed,
mouth-breathing idiocy they displayed.  They made "ME TOOO!"
sound like a work
of Shakespeare.

<DJCubby> those nintendo songs are apparently done by New
Tokyo Philharmonic
<DJCubby> I think
<SomeGuy> The Old Tokyo Philharmonic missed a beat and they
all commited seppuku.

<korosu> I can't believe I just took a shit in my bathing suit
at the beach. What the fuck? I cant stand up and take it to
the ocean, because I am wading in a puddle of feces at this
very moment. Any change in my seating position will send my
poo spilling down my legs and into view of every sunbather
within 30 feet of me. There is no way I can play this off as a
fart.
<korosu> It doesn't help at all that I've been spun out for 3
days. I can hardly see straight! How am I possibly going to
explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting chili
dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my
children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again.
There it is. The family on the blanket to the right of me just
asked if I could smell "that". I gotta go.

<zaney> i sued to be smart but then my father, he fond out i
wsa gay so eh ebaten me very baddly on the haad

<Matt-san> Over the hill women have experience. :)
<Kataclysm> And saggy boobz
<Matt-san> They flop back and forth like mudflaps.
<Kataclysm> Thank you for the lovely visual, Matt.
<Raiden> Its like when you go to the nursing home
<Raiden> and say "SHOW ME YOUR TITS"
<Kataclysm> I'm going to kill you now. Please don't take it
personal.
<Raiden> and they take off their pants

(doggie^): i remember using morpheus ages back
(doggie^): everytime i searched for something i would get
!!!!!!!!preteen sex piss fuck shit animals
......................... .avi
(doggie^): was very annoying
([olly]): lol
(slippy^): yeh :/
(slippy^): that movie sucked

<Alb-guy> I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with
a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am
banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned
about other teenagers who are using these products as
masturbation aids.

<buggler> nataria you sex machine
<Nataria> buggler im not a sex machine...
<buggler> you're not? prove you're not
<PubiclyRelated> ;p; yeh
<PubiclyRelated> prove it lol
<Nataria> roflmao
<Nataria> how can i be a sex machine if i havent had sex? O:D
<Nataria> ha i winnnn :D
<buggler> it's like having a cooking machine that hasn't been
used, doesn't make it any less a machine
<Nataria> rofl
<buggler> you don't win, you lose. My rebuttal is second to
none
<Nataria> so im a sex machine waiting to be turned on?

<Weazel> stupid cops
<Weazel> always giving me shit
<Weazel> SHE WANTED TO HAVE SEX

<X-G> Yay, I wrote a todo list
<X-G> Now I can procrastinate more efficiently!

[incorrect] no, we're all using pens, paper and carrier
pidgeons
[incorrect] actually, maybe that's what PPP stands for

<Dezzy> actually i was looking for girlie porn for my
boyfriend
<Beerman> you're a girlie
<Beerman> you can MAKE girlie porn!
<Dezzy> hm.... true...

<blitz> i'm allergic to alcohol
<blitz> I drink a 12 pack and I break out in hand-cuffs

(kellai) fr0g is cuddly
(kellai) except for when he tried to light me on fire

<michael-> Complaint : Seller won auction but did not send
payment
<michael-> Response by [email protected] - son was killed in
a car crash, extremely insensitive and impatient seller

<Johnno> wouldnt it be cool if there was a cow that had a door
on it's side, that when you opened it up, it produced nummmy
pie
<wonko> that's a good idea! hold on while I round up some
venture capital...

* Ozak-shower hugs everyone
* Solinus runs from ozak
<Ozak-shower> oh shit
* Ozak-shower is now known as Ozak-Clothed

<Calisa> "After his arrest in 1990 police found photographs
that Black had taken of himself: one showed him with a
wine-bottle up his anus, another with a telephone-handset, yet
another with a table leg."
<FifthColumn> Sadly the inspectors drank from the wine bottle,
talked on the telephone, and beat a minority with the table
leg before they found the photographs.

<amiel> i got a new reality show
<amiel> a chick has unprotected sex with 10 or so guys while
she's ovulating, 9 months later a camera crew goes and ruins
each guys life
<amiel> we could call it remember me, or sexual roulette
<amiel> or find a bunch of people who are related and don't
know it, hook them up, and expose their incest

* Nico ([email protected])
has joined #megatokyo
<Nico> You know those oh so hilarious Bash quotes where
someone's something is on fire, and they run on to IRC to tell
everyone. I just decided to put the fire out before coming on
to tell my friends. Let this be a lesson to those whose homes
burnt down in the space of an irc convo.

<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for
you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good

<Turglith> as a DM you have UBER CONTROL!
<Uenohai> Yeh my friends and I were watching some Jesus Freak
documentary
<Uenohai> Said gamers and Yu-Gi-Oh was satan
<Uenohai> So my friends and I made a pact
<Uenohai> First one to hell is Dungeon Master