bash.org archive

* EB eats a banana, really slowly
* SC finds that disturbing.
* eye too
* EB CHOMPS
<eye> O_O
<SC> uck.
* Reis gets an erection.
<eye> for some reason that makes my will yhurt
<EB> lol
<EB> I love doing that... especially when there are lots of
people around. Eat your banana really slow. THen suddenly, go
CHOMP
<SC> heh
<EB> And see how many guys wince.
<eye> you madam are evil!
<EB> yes, yes I am

<PrincessLeia2> yeah we wrote linux install directions for
Unreal Tournament, and I made the cuteyist UT Tux image for it
on my webpage!
<PrincessLeia2> ...
<PrincessLeia2> wow, i just managed to be totally geeky and
very girly in the same sentance O_O

<Kevyn> God it's fucking cold out. The temperature in
Massachusetts has dipped into the teens more than R Kelly.

<Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma?
<Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta,
Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release

<Gartt> 60% of girls first kiss is with another girl
<LatinoReheat> that is a most sexy statistic

<Mr`Death> Hey Queued, know of an easy way to reduce speaker
noise?
<Boinger69> turn down the volume?

<PS_Mouse> it would seem IRC doesn't like Azureus
<coedman> it knows your warezing ways
<PS_Mouse> I'm not warezing, I'm downloading .isos for obscure
versions of linux
<PS_Mouse> very obscure
<coedman> versions of linux that happen to resemble recently
released software or movies?
<coedman> >.>
<PS_Mouse> not at all
<PS_Mouse> for what ever reason the guy who's been compiling
these versions has done away with the standard numerical
versioning system and resorted to using album names
<PS_Mouse> for example, the beta versions are named after
metallica albums

maus: man do I need a wifi card for my laptop; I tried to plug
into a router at a downtown coffee shop and they got all mad
at me

<LittleBunny32> this girl on okcupid.com has six things she
could never do without as: Sex, love, music, movies, dildo,
water and air
<LittleBunny32> notice air is last
<RenaissanceGamer> i never did like people on this that took
it THAT literatly
<RenaissanceGamer> because food would have to be up there too
<RenaissanceGamer> and shelter
<LittleBunny32> haha I'd put like oxygen, carbon, hydrogen,
phosphorus, sodium, potassium
<RenaissanceGamer> i have always been partial to those six
myself

ericZir: what a retard
Shyne Po: Lol yeah
ericZir: retard*
ericZir: oh
ericZir: nvm

<DopefishJustin> I just downloaded "Microsoft Visual C++ 6.0
Standard Edition.exe" off WinMX and it's actually a country
music MP3 :/
<DopefishJustin> -=[JustinBot]=- Now playing: [EXE] [Microsoft
Visual C++ 6] [3:31]
<DopefishJustin> I should have realized when I noticed it was
5MB

<Turranius> Hate it when I wanna watch a movie, but dont wanna
start it cause I need to pee and I'm too lazy to get up.
<Turranius> Im thirsty too
<Turranius> Hmm, I might be able to solve this after all.

<tate> Ever see What Women Want?
<Tony> yea, i look in the mirror all the time
<tate> It's true
<tate> Women do only seem to want Gay men

<timmo> remember how i told you guys about that chick
<timmo> i was talking to in the record store
<McMoo> the imaginary one?

<sparcv9> i'm such a dick
<sparcv9> someone came into my office to ask me if i had a
sheet of paper, so he could make a temporary CD sleeve
<sparcv9> so i did an:
<sparcv9> echo " " | lpr
<sparcv9> and said "sure, go pick it up off the printer"

<Vamp_Boy> Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at
God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not
listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing
him off.

* m4z3` kicks dalnet
* Quits: m4z3` ([email protected]) (Killed
(zone.hub.us.dal.net ()))
<Jagfire> And DALnet kicks back

[btab] she's got style she's got grace, takes a cumshot to the
face, she's a lady

abmac: you should listen to more phish
abmac: and smoke more weed
speedo: you should smoke less weed
abmac: psh
abmac: hey!
abmac: if you put an "i" in psh
abmac: it's phish
abmac: mind-blowing....
speedo: no it's not, idiot
speedo: it's pish
abmac: psh
abmac: maybe i should smoke less weed

<McGrue> You need messageboards?
<Sharkey> Certainly not 'need'. Probably not even want. I just
occasionally have this nagging implacable emptiness that I
think a message board might fill.
<Sharkey> Maybe I just need cock.

<Calisa> I read tampon boxes and manuals, (but who doesn't?
Regardless of where you're at.)
<aeonite> do tampons really need a manual? insert tab a into
slot b.
<Calisa> You'd be surprised, aeonite. There are always the
people who don't know about if they can leave it in whilst
they pee, what happens if it starts smelling extremely bad,
what happens if they leave it in too long, or don't leave it
in long enough..
<Calisa> Or pull it out too fast..
* semi resists temptation to ask
<Calisa> Temptation to ask what?
<semi> what happens when you pull it out too fast
<semi> i can assume its something like the movie backdraft.

shopgirl6665: installing flash...soon my website will be the
coolest ever
shopgirl6665: hmmm...there appears to be somewhat of a
learning curve...

<skitax> finally
<skitax> i just upgraded to 56k

<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black
people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.

Berrik  I swear I hate German
Berrik  You take some 3-letter word in English
Berrik  and in German it's "Schtuffwaftefloswhosit"

(aero-neko) but today in the library, i left "http://
goatse.cx" on the clipboard
(aero-neko) the next period a kid got suspended for fetish
porn or something

<spree> downloading movies takes so freaking long
<videogameaholic> set it and forget it
<spree> i set it hours ago
<spree> i want to watch it before i sleep
<spree> i imagine it'd be even worse with chicken
<spree> if i stuck a chicken in the oven, there's no way i'd
forget it
<spree> i'd be staring hungrily at it for hours
<videogameaholic> you kidding?  when I put a burrito in the
microwave and push 90 seconds, I grab a bag of chips.

<maddox> You know what I hate?  Programs that pretend like
they're sentient beings.  Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type
"bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and
you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let
you do that."  Yeah?  Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. 
You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer
who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.

<_Nathan> thats a lot of licenses you bought viss ;)
<visionz> yeah
<visionz> cost me 3 arms and a dozen legs
<visionz> living near a cemetary rox :)

<tertyl> and i've bent a spoon with the power of my
mind...though when the drugs wore off..it was back to
normal...

<alobodig-2> Spraying a can of Dust-Off directly into my navel
was just about the worst idea I've ever had.

<ScriptBlue> the first thing I've been invited to in high
school was our graduation party

<adm> i should run for office
<adm> and my slogan will be this
<adm> "I DON'T CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS! :D"
<adm> with the smiley and everything
<ryu829> hey i cant log in through mirc
<adm> I DON'T CARE! :D

( Lev       ) have you SEEN the people who wear the I LOVE
LINUX T-shirts....that does more damage to the OS than a
billion microsoft blue-screens

<g> <FedAg455> hey wanna meet with me for some sex? im 13/f/
canada, wanna meet in usa in front of brooklyn police
department?
<g> <cooey> how do i know you are 14 D:

<Jay> how do u spell nebour
<nc> neighbour
<nc> haha
<Jay> kthx
<Jay> how do u spell ritch
<nc> rich u moron
<DX> rofl
<Jay> well
<DX> u dum cunt jay
<Jay> so what if i cant spell
<Jay> i type it in spell check
<Jay> and im still so wrong it goes what the fuck no
suggestions
<nc> MS never reckoned on Jay

<john-lennon-> how much does a new 2004 mustang go for?
<Jonathan`> it goes for about 2 years then falls apart

<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> i thought you did music?
<baygledawg> oh i wish
<baygledawg> that would be my second dream job
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> what's your first? professional
sperm producer?
<baygledawg> ok, writing music would be my third dream job

<phoena>: I made the mistake of sending my husband to the
store. He bought a case of Froot Loops.  Fourteen boxes.  I
don't hate Froot Loops now, but I think I will 14 boxes from
now.

<Rountree> Wake.  Birth.  Grow.  Pain.  Move.  Move.  Move. 
Move.  Move.  Kid.  Grow.  Teen.  Grow.  Up.  Fall.  Up. 
Crush.  Meet.  Kiss.  Date.  Buy.  Love.  Sex.  Ring.  Join. 
Smile.  Kids.  School.  Dance.  Hug.  Hold.  Rift.  Leave. 
Hate.  Gone.  Work.  Work.  Work.  Work.  Work.  Life.  Ha. 
Bang.  Dead.
<+MegamanX2K> Shut.
<+MegamanX2K> The.
<+MegamanX2K> Fuck.
<+MegamanX2K> Up.

<mako> my letter "eye" stopped worng
<luca> k, too?
<mako> yeah
<luca> sounds like a mountain dew spill
<mako> and comma
<mako> those three
<mako> ths s horrble
<luca> tme for a new eyboard
<luca> 've successfully taen my eyboard apart and fxed t by
cleanng t wth alcohol
<mako> stop mang fun of me
<mako> ths s a laptop!!

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<DracoDanMP> wow sin, you must have some nasty, nasty breathe
<DracoDanMP> you just blew half the channel away with a yawn

TheLegendofMouse> You know when you drive by those amusement
parks, sometimes they have those slides shaped like the
titanic?
TsunamiNoAi> Thats kind of macabre isnt it?
TheLegendofMouse> Let me find a picture of one
TsunamiNoAi> does this mean in 100 years there will be a WTC:
The Ride bungee jumping?

<Scummder> well thats great. I get to spend about 5 minutes
playing gamecube before my mother appears from nowhere and
tells me to do more mowing.
<bile> think of your mother as an endboss and destroy her.

<michaelr> heh, new zealanders think the aussies are shagging
the sheep, and the aussies think the nz'ers are shagging the
sheep... quite frankly, i think it's the sheep who are sluts

<DisgruntledBadger> Why do they call it tourist season if we
can't shoot them?

<[D60]BIG_K> WHY IS CHANSERV IN EVERY FUCKING CHANNEL

<timb> I went into a local burger resturaunt, just a local
town king if thing, pretty small, and I was wearing my I dig
Mac OS X shirt
<Toad> geek
<timb> and the girl at the counter, really cute, about 18 or
19 went "I like your shirt!"
<timb> and I went w00t! and she smilled the biggest smile and
winked at me
<Toad> you _said_ "w00t!"? wow
<timb> yes, I said w00t
<Toad> like "double u zero zero t"?
<timb> no
<Toad> like "woot"
<timb> just plain woot

<Prence> then my mom will know i have sex with the coach
<Prence> i meant to say couch

[@cwatford] i really do need to write my childrens books
[@cwatford] i plan on scaring children shitless about common
programming errors
[@Entrope] "jane thought overrunning buffers was great fun
until the exploit monster bit off her head!"

<ruumis> FBI says upcoming terror attack will be "Spectacular!
"...Donald Rumsfeld is calling it a "Must See", and Tom Ridge
says, "If you heed just one Terror Warning this year...heed
this one !"

<stc> all us asians look alike
<stc> so getting in with older brother id's is easy heh

<Dilbert> my dad owns a company "Incestors inc."
<Dilbert> investors*
<Dilbert> i meant

<MepitansTAD> this kid we call Crosswalk Kramer tried to kill
himself by walking into traffic
<MepitansTAD> but he walked in front of a truck going 15 mph
and he was in a crosswalk
<MepitansTAD> the truck just stopped and asked him to move

<Jolene> so, when they landed on the moon, why cant u see the
stars in the pictures they took?
<chippy> it was daytime

<@wzpr> #000000 official irc channel of the NAACP

<Veor> HOT HOT CHICK WAS LOOKIN AT ME
<Veor> so i was smilin at her and she smilied back
<Veor> so i walked over to her and she kept staring where i
was sitting at
<Veor> and she had a cane
<Veor> i realized she was blind

<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half
of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while
the bottom half does nothing?

<KoaL> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling slimfast
into Ethiopia

<Satan> I need.
<Satan> A fucking optical mouse.
<Satan> So I don't have to deal with dirty balls anymore.
<Satan> .. Er, yeah.
<rapty> X_X

<hoset-> what's the server info for defunkt?
<DTOX> 65.4.40.157 - port 21 - anonymous
<hoset-> thanks much
<DTOX> np
<DTOX> if that doesn't work it's because I gave you your own
IP #

<Al-x> is cosmo magazine lying when it says all men crave a
finger in their ass during sex
<Hast> cosmo is all lies
<TheShaun> it's designed to be sold to women who have no real
interests in life but sex
<TheShaun> it's like the feminist movement dropped down onto
its knees and started sucking adam smith's capitalist cock.

<JiggyNiggy> soul u ever been caught wanking behind the shed?
<Soulfly-> no
<JiggyNiggy> Good Spot isnt it :D

<whyerhead> hrm. I couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a
fist full of pardons

<Foobar> hah the FBI is probably monitoring us
<Foobar> BOMB BUILDINGS PLANES BOMBS HIJACK HIJACK BOMBS OSAMA
BIN LADEN TERRORIST
*** Foobar has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

<Aaron> +v
*** Crappy sets mode: +v Aaron
<Aaron> typing +v made crappy put me on +v automatically?
<Crappy> maybe, try typing +b :)
<Aaron> +b
*** Crappy sets mode: +b *!*@m57-mp1-cvx1a.bre.ntl.com

* terra begins dousing people in gasoline
<hngkong> Terra, why kill us?
<terra> Shush
<terra> it's perfume

<Slant> Maybe I'll be able to ignore my GOD DAMN NEED TO HUMP
ANYTHING HUMAN AND FEMALE
<Slant> ANYTHING
<Zor-SLEEP> i feel for your sisters.

<Voices> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book
called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!