bash.org archive

<Puffx0r> how cheap is my family?
<Puffx0r> we're about to go test-drive a car so we can get a
free shrek 2 dvd.

<jidan> he's so fat he prolly has to guess what fold the
fucking piss is gonna spray out of

<Godfather> white people dont go to jail, look at OJ
<Inferno> he's black u fag
<Godfather> oh

<khanjackalmoreau> i knew a kid who dressed up as a goth
leprechaun for halloween
<khanjackalmoreau> all black outfit, with a grayscale rainbow,
and a pot full of cure albums

<RedMachineD> whoops
<RedMachineD> just submitted homework with a bad typo
<RedMachineD> talking about the way people use words
<RedMachineD> and hate speech and sluts and shit
<RedMachineD> and i accidentally typed in
<RedMachineD> "hateful coonotations"
<RedMachineD> :|
<RedMachineD> gonna be hearing from my professor about this
one

<SwampFox> "I'm sleeping with several local teens.  Find out
if your child is one of them at 11."

[@KiD_Zer0] i have to write about an incident in my life I can
describe as a natural disaster
[Sub-Zer0] your birth

* Sock_Monkee deletes some games
<Sock_Monkee> w00t.....freed over a gig
<Sock_Monkee> fucking sim theme park and jedi knight and q3
<Sock_Monkee> !
<Sock_Monkee> my porn was in q3!

<wonderwoman> and electrode pads around the rectum are reason
enough to pay attention to a thorough shave. . .
<wonderwoman> um, oops
<dellarte> wow that was enlightening ww
<wonderwoman> um, wrong window

<Asuka_Aogiri> I mean, when I pet my cat while she's in heat,
I think to myself 'This is the closest I'll get to touching a
horny female in my entire life...cool.'
<Shinra> You stroked that hot pussy, eh?
<Josh_Aogiri> ...that's the most disturbing thing you've ever
said.
<Asuka_Aogiri> Totally.

<Adolla> oh dear I ate too many broken gingerbread men
<Supel> not broken, alternatively configured, please
<Adolla> and the burned ones can't be given out they have to
be eaten
<Supel> *alternatively carbonised
<Supel> *gingerbread people
<Supel> actually, ginger can be offensive
<Adolla> sorry, gingerbread people
<Supel> *funnyshapedrootspicepeople

taebaeg: god i swear you guys make 4chan look like fine
literature sometimes
lemonlimeskull: ...
lemonlimeskull: "Ask not for whom the Rick roll'd. It roll'd
for thee."

<midi> if you find some poor idiot with his tongue stuck to
the rail
<midi> with a train coming and decide that you really don't
wanna see
<midi> him splat, a convenient source of warm mostly-clean
saltwater
<midi> is indeed your bladder...
<midi> (or so said one of my scoutmasters...)
<Squeedle> midi: though they might just rip their tongue off
trying to
<Squeedle> get away from a scoutmaster pulling his pants down
at them
<midi> squee:  either way, he gets his tongue off the track. 
and if
<midi> you're lucky, you get to piss in an idiot's face.
<midi> it's cathartic and good karma.  how cool is that?
<Squeedle> well hey, what more can you ask for
<hoche> o/~ hey baby, if you'll be my dog, i'll be your tree,
and you
<hoche> can pee on me! o/~
<Squeedle> schadenfreude: A malicious satisfaction in the
misfortunes of
<Squeedle> others
<midi> which is kinda neat.  you get a choice between letting
natural
<midi> selection work or pissing in the idiot's face.  it's
win-win.

<JazzMan131> Dude, don't you find it weird that read and read
are spelled the same?
<BenBish> ....
<BenBish> Naw man, not really.

<arry75> hi
<Aethelwulf> ?
<arry75> asl pls
<Aethelwulf> Speak english
<arry75> age sex location please
<Aethelwulf> Why does it matter?
<Aethelwulf> 53 male Lituhuania
<arry75> just wannaknow k
<arry75> ok
<arry75> i m looking for a girl
<arry75> i hope u wont mind
<Aethelwulf> Try a place called "outside"
<Aethelwulf> I heard there is quite a few
<arry75> k
<arry75> thanks
<arry75> no body is there
<arry75> any way thanks

Kid1: What are you, illiterate?
Teacher: Hey, we dont talk about illiterate people.
Kid2: Yea, we write about them.

<synik> I just discovered how bad it is to mistake a can of
black spray paint for deodorant

<establish> 16/f/virgin/36c/firmtits/5'9/125 pounds/I like
guys who are short, overweight, not good looking, and who are
really into computers and video games/plus I have genital
warts

<Bambz-216> i don't have anything illegal in my house anymore
<Bambz-216> EXCEPT FOR THOSE MEXICANS I BOUGHT!

<Shikamaru> anyhow, i don't consider myself asian. i'm white,
but god screwed up my texturemap.

<ODD> optimism is having a ups on a win95 box

<jman2050> I'm not a fan of the software direction Sony is
taking with the PS3
<jman2050> but the console itself is good
<Davidion> I swear they're just chock full of bad business
decisions as of late
* Shinobi_Arsenal ([email protected]) has joined #
GA
<Davidion> even when they take a good step forward they can't
but help to take one back
<Shinobi_Arsenal> can only be talking about sony
<Davidion> rofl

<greycat> 95% of the time, ssh key authentication problems are
caused by incorrect permissions on the server side.
<greycat> the other 5%, it's misspelling of ~/.ssh/
authorized_keys
<p0ts> yes
<p0ts> it worked
<p0ts> my private key wasnt where it was supposed to be
* greycat adjusts the odds.  94% of the time, server-side
directory perms.  5%, misspelling.  1%, user moved the files
around for no good reason.

<INTERNET> god
<INTERNET> I reemmber this one time
<INTERNET> in an airplane
<INTERNET> I was with my mom
<INTERNET> and I was like... 11
<INTERNET> well I saw these things called Sanitary Napkins
<INTERNET> I thought they wre wetnaps
<INTERNET> like those things from restaurants
<INTERNET> so I got like a handful of them
<INTERNET> and ran out of the bathroom and I screamed,
"MOM!!!! I GOT THOSE SANITARY NAPKINS YOU LIKE SO MUCH!!!!!!"
<INTERNET> EVERYONE ON THE PLANE WENT APESHIT AND MY MOM WAS
JUST LAUGHING!!!!
<INTERNET> she was like, "WILLIAM THOSE ARE TAMPONS NOT
WETNAPS!!!"

<zamros> moose i am going to kick you in the groin until the
only thing you have there is a bloodied mass of pulp
<Mooseka> HAHA, YOU'RE TOO LATE

<VOLVORacr> hello
<VOLVORacr> why are so many pepole here but nobody is chatting
<sc1> i'm masturbating
<sc1> leave me alone

<foop> leif is having a party?
<ross_> yeah
<foop> does he know that he's having a party?
<Chieze> of course not
<ross_> he will when the donkeys and cocaine show up

<Dock> Tristan: We understand, you're just brain damaged.
<Dock> We know you find those "things" fun, your POV is warped
and it's OK.
<Dock> We'll all smile and talk behind your back.
<Tristan> OH YEAH
<Tristan> ATLEAST I DATE INSIDE MY SPECIES, YOU WENT OUTSIDE
OF YOURS WHEN YOU DID IT WITH MY MOM
<Tristan> SO THERE

<Hatter> Sometimes hypr, I can hear the gears in your head
grind to a halt
<hypr> haha

<Flirbnic> The American dream is to move to Canada.

<JDigital> It's official: Nostradamus was a stoner.
<JDigital> His name wasn't even Nostradamus. It was Michel du
Nostredame
<JDigital> Nostradamus was just his IRC nick

R0ry » what shall i get my bro for his bday
R0ry » he's 25
bazmalti » an anal probe?
bazmalti » lol
R0ry » i said 25
R0ry » not german

<jebus2000> do muslums say OMFA?

<Threeboy> !down
* ChanServ sets mode: -o Threeboy
<Threeboy> !up
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Threeboy
<tKE> !up!up!dn!dn!lt!rt!lt!lt!B!A!B!A!Select!Start
<tKE> damn, I want my 30 lives

<Daishi> i couldn't connect to irc, so i went out with my gf
instead

<Lailoken> On Cinemax tonight they're showing Shrek from 11:00
to 12:30 and then Best Sex Ever from 12:30 to 1:00.
<Lailoken> Somewhere in America parents leave their child to
go to a dinner party, "Here honey, you just watch Shrek and
we'll be home some time after midnight."

« Kil88|Savage » i'm gonna have a polo with my name on it :D
<Bennie> im gonna get some boxers with <dick> on the front
<Bennie> then im gonna get a sock
« Squeeb » lol :)
« Squeeb » ace
<Bennie> with </dick> on
<Bennie> :D
« Squeeb » LMAO

<jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
<jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit

<BonGoaT> i think Bush played counterstrike too much

<yrlnry> When was 'O Canada' introduced?  Must have been
pretty recently---maybe in the 1960's?
<ignatz> "A Canada" through "N Canada" were failures.
Then
MacKenzie MacKenzie, a defrocked Mountie from Lard
Heights,
Alberta, had a flash of inspiration one day while
drinking
maple syrup.
<ignatz> The rest is history.

<PoofServ> WOOHOO! My mom is getting off!

<chobits41> You know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully
working submarines.
<chobits41> the Canadain Navy has two.
<@Airs> lol
<chobits41> So if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd
never make it past the Gap.

<power> so are there really no people here who have the Avril
Lavigne CD?
<power> dammit
<power> back to the old fashioned way of pirating
<bored> power, you're going to put on an eye patch and sail
the seven seas?

* iban is going to invent a marriage simulator. It's a blowup
doll that sits on the couch, takes your money, and slowly
inflates larger and larger

< muon > I wish someone would invent a decent packing tape
dispenser
< Cyd > I'm telling you, a simple ball gag is not that
expensive
< muon > try explaining to a cop why you're hanging around a
middle school with a ball gag dumbass

XeonGT: my uncle took me out to lunch...at Anita's....my ass
still hurts
HannibalZero: does he always expect that in return?

<electr0n> shitty, house broken into yesterday
<electr0n> second time in under a year. hell under 6 months
<electr0n> took my ps2 and laptop
<electr0n> bastards.
<electr0n> I am glad I hadn't bought a 360 because then i
would be really pissed
<pluis> nah, they'd never be able to escape while carrying the
360's power adapter

<_404notfound> Best prank ever: while your male friend is
sleeping, slip a condom on him, and get one of your female
friends to lie next to him until he wakes up.
<BobTheMilkman> 404: or better yet, a male friend

<KANG> you know you're bored when you boot up ad-aware 5.8 and
6.0 and watch them race

<ZWeirdVT> how's life?
<BubFISHi> it's ok for a fiber filled oat square covered in
cinnamin, but personally, I prefer Frosted Flakes... why do
you ask?

<Dave> Well. I'mma go shower and then go pick up my friend
from jail.
<Dave> I'll be back later.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how big his anus is
<Dave> He's a big dude, no one's going to fuck with him.
<Shadowpillar> ask him how many other people he's cornholed
<Shadowpillar> lol
<Dave> He's been in jail for roughly 5 hours.
<Dave> And he has a girlfriend.
<Dave> I'm betting on a grand total of six.

sexy       heyyyyy Adam i'm Sandra do you remember me?
DJARCAS    FUCK OFF BOT
sexy       same here
DJARCAS    I win.

<MoonFog> Accept my send!!
<spark-> are you behind a firewall?
<MoonFog> Yes. but i can send
<spark-> Please consult your network administrator
<MoonFog> I am, and i know it works
<spark-> Please insult your network administrator

<shrug> Women burn an average of 27 calories during an orgasm
<shrug> Faking an orgasm burns 160 calories
<shrug> I've been helping women loose weight

<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl
with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew
he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the
couch alittle awkward

<RushMore> Shit, i was in physics and near shit myself
<RushMore> THe place went black, and i thought i crashed
<RushMore> THEN a light came on, and i saw a ball dropping,
but it was only at like 8fps
<RushMore> I thought "Shit, i need a new graphics card"
<RushMore> Then i found out, the teacher turned out all the
lights, put on a strobe light at 8flashes/s and dropped a ball
so you could see its accelleration
<RushMore> Dickhead.

ianepson: heh one time i was camping up in the mountains and
there were these wierd sounds
ianepson: and i had my guitar with me......
ianepson: somthing compelled me to play the theme to
deliverance
Metal Mantis X: lol
Metal Mantis X: lmfao
ianepson: i half expected some guy to come out of the trees
and make me squeel like a piggai
Metal Mantis X: lol
ianepson: my dad comes out and is like wtf are you doin? ur
gonna get us all raped.
ianepson: sure enough these dudes come rollin by in a van
honkin the horn.... wavin and hollerin.....
ianepson: SQEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL
ianepson: lol then we ended up jammin and this dude was askin
me to play Nirvana
Metal Mantis X: heh good thing you didn't play "Rape Me"

<RamaWURK> THe first few hours of work
<RamaWURK> Just drag on
<Jato> Hey Rama.
<The_Orichalcon> Rama, play "What's that noise"
<The_Orichalcon> it helps pass the time
<Jato> How do you play "What's that noise"
<The_Orichalcon> you listen for a little while, and try to
hear a noise that you can't quite make out
<The_Orichalcon> then you go around finding out what's making
the noise
<The_Orichalcon> or the multiplayer version
<The_Orichalcon> if you have mates that are bored
<RamaWURK> lol
<The_Orichalcon> they make some noises
<The_Orichalcon> and you have to find out where and what they
are
<Jato> TO, you are on a whole other level of boredom.

<Dr_DOS> a typhoon smashed into hong kong
<Dr_DOS> wiping out 1.5% of their pirated goods
<Dr_DOS> a total profit of $300,000 for US companies alone

<DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex
if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
<DJTodd> She's a real brain.

<Legion> touching yourself leeds to blindness
<beej> heh, and spellin problems, apparently
<beej> ...omfg

<Jenova4> i eat whatever's in the panty
<NeroMan> I am lightweight
<Jenova4> pantry*
<MattW> what the
<Karva> YES!
<MattW> whoa
<MattW> whoa

<Kosmo`> Why is it called PUBLIC hair if it's on a "private"
part?
<pakz> you moron! it's not PUBLIC, it's PUBIC
<Kosmo`> uh... really!?!? HOLY SHIT!
<pakz> what?
<Kosmo`> hehe, now I see why my girlfriend laughed when I
asked her "why don't you shave your public hair?"

<DCGrendel> i spent 8hrs today doing evil code to do evil
things i dont really understand
<ragnarok2040> you work for microsoft?

<ShockSMX> I have more important things to do right now than
sitting in front of the computer... For example sitting behind
the computer, where its safe and nobody will hurt me.

<MrP-> that 40 days and 40 nights movie pisses me off... ohh
can he go 40 days without sex? try 19 years!!!
<ine> i think there is an additional restriction regarding
masturbation as well, MrP-
<kalani> LOL
<SprSamat> hrmm
<MrP-> oh

<_scar_> hm I've been 16 the last 3 years on irc heh

<Kaptain_Kakakaway> six string samurai is the most crazy movie
ever concieved
<Kaptain_Kakakaway> Only one man could kill this many
Russians.
<BrotherData> stalin ?

<Guilty> Jees its going to be 48 tomorrow
<Guilty> I thought I was done with waring a jacket
<Guilty> But apparently not
<maff> you go outside?