bash.org archive

<MightyBlueJustice> If Jesus would've been shot to death
instead of crucified would christians wear jewelry with
firearms on it?
<K-Necrocide> It kinda makes you wish he was assraped to death
with a big black cock.

<Sir_Robin> warning:  there are some inbred fucks in the USA.
<Sir_Robin> even bigger warning:  they're allowed to vote.
<Sir_Robin> worse yet:  they tend to vote for each other.

Shivanfire: maybe I should go into politics
Shivanfire: I've always wanted to fuck a lot of people at the
same time

<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today
<xsneakerx> was he cute?
<yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean.
<yabba> I think he may have been jesus.

<bludstone> one of my fantasies is to be getting a blowjob
while on irc :/

<Drezdar> I am a white, supple 21 year old male from New York
City.  I enjoy the big life...when I leave my house.  I enjoy
computer games, PS2 games, Xbox games, Dreamcast games, SNES
games, N64 games, GBA games, Genesis games, Amiga 500 games,
C64 games, Atari 800XL games, and porn.  I am very good at
masturbation so I think I would be very good in bed.  If you
would like to meet me, email me or cyber me on AIM.

<HeXonXonX> I'm beginning to think the Playboy channel isn't
based on reality. I don't see my neighbors running through
sprinklers naked or inviting me over for orgies.

<Tim> Well it tastes gay.
<Gerard> How do you know what "gay" tastes like?

<kRadD3ViL> fUk1n n0n-31337 h4x0rz! t4lk l1k3 n00bZ!!!!
<evildewr> hey, i used to speek like that.. but it don't make
you leet with women
<kRadD3ViL> WhY u s4y d4t n00b?
<evildewr> cuz my girlfriend dumped me for using numbers when
we communicated
<kRadD3ViL> u h4d a g1rlfr13nd? fuk1ng 31337!!!!! g1rls s0und
1337!

<Denium> cassy do you mind if i delegate something to ya?
<Cassy> as long as i can do it in the morning ....i'm totally
dead .....had a gig earlier tonight and i'm like a zombie lol
<Denium> wow
<Denium> i only do like 500mb/day
<Denium> at most
<Cassy> a SHOW
<Denium> ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
<Cassy> you know ....play music!?

<@spr|efnex> last day of highschool
<@spr|efnex> im going to take 2 or 3 viagra, go up to every
girl that rejected me, point at my pants and say "LOOK WHAT
YOU MISSED, BITCH"

<Schwab> so I bought some mary jane last night
<Schwab> about a quarters worth
<Schwab> then I planted it in this jackass's car
<Schwab> then I called the cops
<Schwab> and now he's on parol violation
<Schwab> lesson in all of this....don't ever..EVER.. fucking
touch my food, especially with the intention of ruining it
while I'm eating

<CYwolf> I always wanted to get 8 eyebrow piercings and hang a
little curtain

<Wippersnapper> Guess what fools, I am going skydiving
<schnorks> Why does that make us fools?
<Wippersnapper> Because I am jumping out of a plane... oh wait

<timmo> for hookers in vegas its like
<timmo> $500
<timmo> they better be fucking me while im playing quake and
shit

<abs> shit
<abs> my mom fell down the stairs
<abs> brb

<baubles> found a site on making your own saline solution..
there are lots of typos and random letters. the guy
apologizes, said he went blind

<zachinglis> How do I recompile PHP?
<Vek> have you prepared the appropriate sacrifices?

<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my
crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt
it?
<etrigan> hell yes

Captain: well that is half true, the environment is a problem,
and recycling does help but so does killing fascists yeah
Captain: so i say why stop at one
Captain: do both
panckreous: but killing fascists gets you arrested for....
whats the charge called
panckreous: oh ya
panckreous: assassinating the president

(timmo) #33375 +(-61)- [X]
(timmo) <jestuh> What's the worse part of raping a 5yo boy?
(timmo) <jestuh> Getting blood on your clown suit
(timmo) classic jestuh quote
(timmo) how can that be -61
[pHluid] Dunno, they must've thought it was a nigger joke.

<_xxpunkerz> dude what are you going to major in for college?
<Likwidoxigen> I'm gonna be a CS major... Why?
<_xxpunkerz> WOAH!!! Dude you can major in Counterstrike?

* inof has reached EOF (End Of Fruhstuck [breakfast]).
<yu-> don't forget to close open descriptors now [wash the
dishes] :)
<inof> :-]
<inof> *sigh*... Why isn't it as easy as in Unix?  You just do
exit(), and all descriptors are closed automatically.  ;)

<CG> I just fell asleep watching the tennis
<CG> all I heard was "uhnn oof uhnn oooooof uhnnn" from the
two girls on tv
<CG> sounded alright ;)

<RokChik> just had my first mammogram and anytime you flatten
anything that much, it just ain't ever going back to being
fluffy and firm again. I just may sue.

<NiffTuRNaL> its ok BenZor
<NiffTuRNaL> windows isnt real
<NiffTuRNaL> its just a fairytale linux users use to scare
their kids

<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of
africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids

* kafiend sets mode: -o kafiend
<kafiend> with beer comes great irresponsibility

<putnam> this chinese kid said something so damn funny today
on the phone
<putnam> let me give you the exact quote that he said, i will
make sure not to make any typos. just picture hearing a
chinese thug say this
<putnam> i said "man i'm gonna kick your ass" and he responds
with:
<putnam> oh fuck nah...i'm gonna get some brick, and throw it
across your window. i'm gonna throw it across your window and
burn your bushes.

Rob: But I'm not horny.
Tiffany: pretend
Tiffany: girls do all the time

<Zip-> hi RedMage
<Zip-> i want your mother's sister's daughter's cousin's best
friend's body
<RedMage> ...
<RedMage> that's like
<RedMage> my best friend
<RedMage> you sick fuck
<RedMage> i'm my own best friend
<RedMage> omg
<RedMage> you WANT ME

<PieTaster> I'm jewish... but bacon > religion!

* dodgearse learns to need how to say somthing before thinking
of it
[dodgearse] wow... that dont sound right
* dodgearse needs to learn to think about what hes going to
say before saying it...

<@drauh> nothing a small dose of real live cara won't help
<@caraliss> why, you presumptive malaysian particle smasher!
<@drauh> you can smash my particles any time
<@drauh> conjugate my verbs
<@drauh> fsck my hard drive
< AgtDaleCo> dangle your participle?
< curvygurl> parse your sentences
<@drauh> integrate me by parts
<@caraliss> hee
<@drauh> fuck me in the ass
<@drauh> oh, wait

<tfair> is there an amazon service that will have something
delivered to you at a random point in the next month?
<tfair> or in the next year?
<dRdR> tfair: that's called USPS

* Mordeth plans a back packing holiday to bulgaria
<Mordeth> is cannabis legal in your country?
<Hunchback> nope
<Mordeth> balls!
<Mordeth> is it widely available?
<Hunchback> yes
<Mordeth> great
<Mordeth> see you next thursday

<blade[fd]> i have this damn hole in my lips
<stolenrims|fd> yeah, that's your mouth

<faceless> so if afro americans = niggers and middle
easterners = sand niggers and asians = rice niggers what can
we call canadians?
<al-x> we're snow niggers

<VicViper> My last girlfriend was cute, but then I found out
she was a rom, so I had to dump her.

HughDario: Man, so one of my Jewish friends the other day told
me he doesn't believe in the moon landing.
HughDario: So I told him that I don't believe in the Holocaust
and he dropped the subject.

<InvisableGuy> you cant get drunk at my place no more
<dope^fish> aw why not?
<InvisableGuy> remember last time? you broke my fucking couch
<dope^fish> hehe shame :) i owned ur couch :0
<InvisableGuy> wel, i owned it, but u broke it.

Nash: waited on hold to tech support for 27 minutes... it
literaly reconnected as someone finaly picked up
Keith: gotta love that
*** Nash has signed off IRC (Ping timeout).
* Graham can hear the swearing from here!

<cov\sick> Solitarie almost never crashes. They should employ
the person who wrote it to head the WinNT team.

<F|Mizan> "Canada.com is reporting that some 20,000 Canadians
listed "Jedi" as their religion in the last national census
(2001)"
<M|SubAt0Mic> No wonder the US doesn't respect us

(@WrmSlayer] wow
(@WrmSlayer] american scientists are spending millions of
dollars learning to grow monkey sperm inside mice...
(+smilertoo] have they said WHY?
(@WrmSlayer] new product line for mcdonalds

<Strafer> If you get collisions on a wireless LAN, do you see
sparks in mid-air?

<crakfjsdklnjkfdbnjkdfhjwerhljk> SHE SKIPPED TWO GRADES AND
SHE'S WASTING IT ON ENGLISH AND PHILOSOPHY MAJORING
<zamros> HAHAHAH PHILOSOPHY MAJOR TELL HER THAT SHE CAN BE A
WAITRESS WITH THAT UNDER HER BELT
<Stiltzkin> NOW, DID YOU CHOOSE THE PANCAKES WITH BACON, OR
WAS IT FATE?!?!

<Rhelik> our conversation about having to recompile PHP is the
equivilant too
<Rhelik> lex:"my car won't start"  rhelic:"it needs a new
starter"  lex:"so how do i fix it?"  rhelic:"get a new
starter"  lex:"does that mean i have to get one?"  rhelic:"are
you an idiot?"
<Rhelik> lex: stop bitching and just fix it, you sound like a
bad girlfriend
<lex> i am a girl

<`]{rAzY]`> My penis is so big that when black men look at it,
they say "Hey man, you got a big penis"
<dubdope> krazy... why do you have black men looking at your
penis?
<dubdope> plus krazy.. how do they know what your penis looks
like when they have you bent over?

<Towzzer> hey ufo
<ufo8mydog> hey ugly
<Towzzer> that's not my nick
<ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
<Towzzer> ouch

<@neoblaze> I fell over in a heterosexual fashion

<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their
source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes.  policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing

<+k\o\w> for some reason, ever since I was a young kid I
wanted to hatch an egg
<+k\o\w> I would steal them from the fridge
<+k\o\w> and put them under my ass for hours
<+k\o\w> but they never hatched
<+k\o\w> and I would cry

<zhix> logicbox - sarenna lee rocks you.. she's just so..
bountiful!
<zhix> I could literally get lost in her bosom.
<zhix> I'd accidently drop my bagel in there and end up
falling in..
<barkode> barkode: JOSH, ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE? zhix: I'M
FINE. GO AWAY. barkode: I'LL GET HELP. zhix: DON'T YOU DARE
FUCKER. LEAVE ME HERE.

* Atma ([email protected]) Quit (Ping
timeout)
* Atma ([email protected]) has joined #kvs
* Atma will strangle his father if he ever tries to get his
attention by flipping the lightswitch off and on again

[@Killer2{SoB}] WTF
[@Killer2{SoB}] Stupid CNN
[@Killer2{SoB}] "PHILADELPHIA, PA Researchers at the
University of Temple announced yesterday that they had finally
discovered a cure for nicotine addicts: smoking cigarettes."
[@Killer2{SoB}] "The only way to effectively fight the
cravings associated with the highly-addictive drug, nicotine,
is to give your body its supply of desired nicotine, via
smoking another cigarette. Smoking allows the nicotine found
in cigarettes to travel to your brain in just seven seconds,
effectively satisfying the craving.""

<booyaa> i'm getting horrible pains thru my finger tips
<sy> booyaa: that's me attempting to kick your ass over the
internet

<m00ks> ooop that almost wasn't a fart. Brb.

<MystrsPP2> Happiness is like a pineapple
<MystrsPP2> it hurts you on the outside
<MystrsPP2> and is yellow on the inside

<Object> ric and JibberJim, cna you guys take your little gay
fantasies elsewhere?
<ric> hey, my gay fantasies are not "little"...

<Joshua> funny how sodomy and clowns are linked in my head...
i'd better not investigate that any further...

<Scott> I thought they were all saying "Hi, Hitler!" Makes
sense, since they're waving...

slurpee: it's just wrong to be watching some random pr0nclip
and it starts out with some hot, hot chick with a hot, hot
bod...  then they start speaking german and you're thinking
"wait a minute here" and then she lies down and some guy
squats over her and WOAH COMMAND-W

<Luckett_X> imagine driving down a highway, being pulled over
in your Deloren, by the police whom question "Why is there a
garbage can and chute on your car?" to which you reply "IT'S
THE FLUX CAPACITOR!" to which you are immediately breathalised
and convicted of drunk driving, all the while you scream "NO!
I HAVE TO GET BACK! BACK TO...THE FUTURE! MAAARRRRRTTTTTYYYYY!
"

Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist
Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off
the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for
eating their bread

<NIGHTMARE> I'm black from the waist down.
<n10shun> How do you steal a TV with your feet?

[orion] man i had a fucked up dream last night
[orion] i think my maid was fondeling me
[orion] i was being spooned by this chick when she started to
finger my asshole, and i was like "wtf is this shit, get that
outta me, but i couldn't move"
[orion] so then i finally got all grossed out and woke up
[orion] and my asshole felt funny.
(|Chris) you probably fingered your own ass in your sleep
[orion] nah mang, i smelled my fingahs

<amoeba> it's a little known fact that the binary releases
aren't actually compiled by anyone, they just mysteriously
appear on the FTP site packaged and ready for release.. it's
postulated that the Devil himself uses Mozilla, and in return
for using it he takes care of the insane build requirements

<Mr_Vain> that reminds me of an anti-abortion sticker I saw
once: "Being a former fetus, I'm against abortion."
<TheXPhial> being a former one celled organism, I'm against
menstruation..not much I can do about it