bash.org archive

*** Now talking in #clubsi.com
*** Topic is 'I hate Linux because it makes me type "man
mount"'
*** Set by Arctil on Wed Jul 10 16:27:12

<drano> i need to go to sleep soon, i was late for school this
morning
<Wyatt> being late rules.
<furandfx> periods
<furandfx> the only place being late does not rule

<|Crash|> condoms suck!
<iota> so do kids

<fiddler> how do u ppl say either, like i-ther or like e-ther?
<jnss> i don't say either

<vegetaandnappa> nothing, just pissed at my GAY mouse
<shqua> Your mouth has a sexual preference?
<shqua> Err...
<shqua> Mouse.
shqua ([email protected]) is now known as DrFreud
<DrFreud> Oh, my...

<Logik-> ymir wants to hire a personal assassin to kill me
<Logik-> <---- has land mines in his yard
<tra__> what happens when the grass cutter comes to clip the
lawn?
<Logik-> tra__, they're not allowed to mow certain spots :P
<tra__> so the hitman just treads through the mowed spots,
since its easier to walk there anyway?

(+Apoc`) u wont believe what happened.
(@povo) what?
(+Apoc`) i copied a speech from the net
(+Apoc`) didnt read it at all
(+Apoc`) until i read it in class
(+Apoc`) it full had swearin n shit in it
(+Apoc`) like
(+Apoc`) eating cunt and suckin cock
(@povo) you actually read the swear words?
(+Apoc`) yer man
(+Apoc`) :s
(@povo) owned

<AnViL> gah... i still can't find a prom date...
<AnViL> then again, it might help if i actually talked to the
women
<AnViL> instead of drooling and staring at them from afar

<EvilJoven> millions of dollars from various governments,
business and NGOs spent on developing hardware, protocols,
software and you people use it to pretend to fart at each
other...

<Snow> Heard outside construction site on way to lunch:
<Snow> <sound that a nail gun makes> "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

<`Grimm`> you know whats the darndest thing is? its when you
mom calls you a son of a bitch, im like, wait a minute, who's
the bitch?

(motardo): gay men are more likely to have homosexual sex than
straight men

<Gandalf> I think I'm a tad fucked up
<Gandalf> had a wet dream last night that may have involved
computer hardware... :/
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Petrock> Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahah
<Gandalf> not funny dude
<Gandalf> if this is going up I will kill you

<Asha`monkey> I went to the beach with two of my female
friends one night, and when we got there they started making
out with eachother.
<Asha`monkey> Then when I tried to lean over they were like
"HAHA, YEAH RIGHT."
<Asha`monkey> Bitches.

<beno> i love you mannnnnnnn!!!!11111111111
<rock> i love you to, in a fuck off and dont come near me kind
of way.

<Chaderz> Damnit man, get MSN!
<Dog_Welder> Unlike most, I find that Bill's dick chafes my
ass

<supreemHOUSTON> i told my mom i'm going to go smoke crack and
fuck some hookers, she said "well, wear a rubber"

<The_Kirbinator> 3000 mexicans dies yesterday........ 5 car
pile-up on the I-10

<|Chris> yeah weather bug is bloatware and has a lame gui with
banner ads
<Guilty> It's the AOL of weather reporting
<|Chris> actually guilty, i think aol has it's own weather
reporting
<|Chris> aol time warner can probably make their own fucking
weather
<|Chris> bastards

<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complaining

<|argh|> I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So
how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except
for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the
taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and
the woman produced a foil packet labeled KY Jelly.

<doraemon`> one of my best friends sells herself for 150 bucks
a trick
<doraemon`> she rules

<Binkster> since I started using OpenBSD... I went from six to
eight inches!
<BSDuser> stop lying and your nose will get back to normal

<evn|z> Anyone who feels like sending me GTA3?
<Zappha> no
<dkcp> You can download it from www.iamaretard.com/GTA3
<evn|z> Thx...
<evn|z> ...
<evn|z> asshole

<dorkling> I think after four years I've finally managed to
make my schools watch list
<dorkling> during the club fair today I found an empty booth
and set up an 'I Hate You Club'
<dorkling> Stole some others clubs sign up sheet that was
blank and someone elses diorama board and stuck some stuff
about hate being theraputic
<dorkling> I actually had about 9 people signed up when a
teacher came over and told me that she needed to confiscate
everything I had
<dorkling> then she noticed the notes I was taking for an
essay (on abortion)
<dorkling> one of them just happened to be a printed wiki
article titled in bold letters 'Back alley abortions'
<dorkling> and she starts to take it from me
<sekoku> dorkling: Did you tell her that abortion was for
another teacher?
<dorkling> I did when she started to take it

<@Butcher90210> lesbian porn is gods way of telling man "you
fucked up but i still love you"

(debaser) i bought a mouse today
(debaser) and it didnt have a ball in it
(debaser) i got a neutered mouse.

<smcn> the only thing we have to ph33r is peer itself

<debutante> i use dragon naturally speaking
<debutante> I say enter and its done
<Rjx> I don't like those voice recognition programs
<Rjx> granted I haven't used one in about 3 years
<Rjx> but the last one I used I would speak a proper sentance
<debutante> well im lying anyway
<Rjx> and it'd come out with "alice alice alice melon
grapefruit monkey"

<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty
wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa

<CmdrRat|Sick> http://www.sky.com/skynews/article/
0,,30100-12276106,00.html
<CmdrRat|Sick> MARINE shot in the head 4 times, helmet saves
him
<Toan> wow
<Toan> He should play CS

[Spetsnaz] My uncle taught me at age 9 how to strip and
reassemble a 9mm Makarov pistol blindfolded.  God did that
infuriate my mother.

<@SPo0n> this morning my mate said he likes the word "cock"
because it "rolls off the tongue"

<@Kaelic> my arm hurts from bowling
<@Kaelic> you would think it is use to this kind of stress
<@Orca> ...no comment
* @Orca isn't going to take as obvious a shot as that one ;p
<@Kaelic> I'll leave that to be interpreted as each sees fit
:)
<@OWK> It's probably used to handling smaller balls.

<Richie> i kinda sent him the strange link to gay porn
<duckman> so he sent you here?
<Richie> revenge is strange sometimes
<Joshua> well... i guess we know what we have to do...
* Joshua takes off his pants

<pork> gudrow: what about when you're driving and eating a
sloppy meat pie and you sneeze really hard into the pie and
squeeze it and the meat comes out and scalds your legs and
you're doing 120 and can't do anything about it trying to wipe
snot from your steering wheel and scalding hot pie
<pork> cause i did that once and it sucked

<Kisa> Don&#8217;t laugh, but every once in a while I try to
check if I by any chance have superpowers.  For some reason I
always try telekinesis.
<Kisa> I look at something for a while, and try to move it
with my mind.
<Kisa> and when I fail, I feel really stupid.
<Kisa> I was just wondering if anyone else does something like
that?
<Kojedub> Yeah.
<Kojedub> I feel really stupid too.
* Kisa feels glad that he is not alone
<Kojedub> Not in relation to telekinesis.
<Kojedub> Just, you know.
<Kojedub> Stupid.

<Dunrick> My iq is 20/20

<Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas
and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food
<Cyriana> and molests your children

Keeper36rm: i almost got arrested too last night
interventi0n: for what?
Keeper36rm: racing
interventi0n: get pulled over?
Keeper36rm: we both did
interventi0n: who was the other car?
Keeper36rm: but the girl lied, she told the cop I was
harassing her, she was just trying to get away from me
Keeper36rm: so he left her off, and I almost got arrested

craig: I suddenly have the urge to rip someone's ear off...
can you guess why?
ted: uh... you've been possessed by vincent van gogh?

<luciddrms> boy irc is like a common link to everything fucked
up on the internet

<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten.
:|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for

[9:43:pm] <beau> man, i have so much respect for anyone that
designs adult web sites
[9:43:pm] <GodTheMod> its harder than it looks
[9:43:pm] <xie> Hahahahaha
[9:43:pm] <beau> i've been sorting through material for my
site, and i can't help but get a hard on, and that means much
less blood in my head.. i JUST CANT WORK LIKE THAT!

Rosh:  she said she has 24 h walgreen by her place
Rosh:  but she doesnt know if it opens at 6.30 or 7

<jer|SYIOUX> i only care about sex when I'm horny, when I'm
not, I be like "omg eww liek no way"
<MiG-S0up> are you gay?
<jer|SYIOUX> no
<MiG-S0up> cuz if u are thats alright man
<jer|SYIOUX> ...
<MiG-S0up> i mean i always supsected something
<jer|SYIOUX> I'm not gay
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> stop hitting on me
<MiG-S0up> i'll give u a ride to those gay support rallies
<MiG-S0up> i mean if thats ur thing
<MiG-S0up> cuz its ok
<MiG-S0up> i support you 100%
<jer|SYIOUX> i'm not gay but I do think keanu reeves is hot

<N1k1tA> can't we just get along?
<tulkas> no
<tulkas> we can't
<Renegade> yeah that would suck
<N1k1tA> i hate you guys

<patches> I like pussy better than drugs
<patches> I've never heard of an OD off pussy
<octane--> its called A CHILD

<SMW> god damn.. I realy dont photograph well
<Peter> Actually, you photograph very well. Unfortunately,
that's how you look in real life.

* peer stares at CCOutlaw[fagitz]
*** Quits: CCOutlaw[fagitz]
([email protected]) (Connection reset by
peer)
<peer> :D

<DamianMor> On the Top 50-100 page, is it possible to scroll
down further? say top 200 etc
<datacide> no
<DamianMor> Thought not
<maff> top one jillion
<datacide> take random :-)
<DamianMor> Random ones are not as high scored ;)
<McMoo> maybe you should stop letting other people decide
what's funny
<McMoo> you son of a bitch

<Nyphur> How long till Chaz gets on, roughly?
<Koji_Ishida> when hell freezes over...
* Koji_Ishida shortens the timespan... and sets the temp down
in helll
*** Chaz ([email protected]) has joined
channel #AlgolXR
<Koji_Ishida> told you lowering the temp in hell always works
* Koji_Ishida breaks off an icicle

<Jabberwocky> my best friend has been trying to get me
together with one of her friends. And I'm headed over there
tonight to -NO INNUENDO HERE- install an ethernet card in her
laptop.
<Jabberwocky> "Deirdre, I've been meaning to ask you this for
a long time - almost from the day I met you. Would you... You
know... Like to... Play some multiplayer games?"

<Rattlsnak> so my mom is looking to get a f/t job where she
can work till she's retired
<Rattlsnak> she's got no formal education but she used to work
in an office in front of a computer
<Rattlsnak> also... she's Japanese...
<Rattlsnak> any ideas?
<RkdJehova> massage parlor
<Rattlsnak> fuck you.
* Rattlsnak has left #allnitecafe

<|mac|> Had a job in Govt, my mind misfired, I got fired,
Maryland says if you get fired from state service cant come
back for 3 years
<SideShow_Mike> mac did you chainsaw kill someone at work? I
thought it was damn near impossible to get fired form those
jobs.
<|mac|> no sideshowmike I had a nervous breakdown and shit on
my supervisors desk
<clay45> whoa

<cams> i dont like risking it. you can never tell if that
"Lesbian House Party" hardcore porn turns out to be "Donky
Anal Rape"
<Meat_PoPs> or vise versa

<Match> eyeglass repair kits are so retarded
<H4Z3> how so?
<Match> if someone needs to fix their glasses, then obviously
they cant see too well. if they know this, why would they make
them so fucking small and hard to find?
<H4Z3> umm... cuz then it would be a normal screwdriver
<Match> thats not what i mean. i know that they have to be
small, but why cant they make them more visible. like
packaging them in bright red
<Match> or putting one of those things on them that when you
clap it beeps
<H4Z3> cuz that would seem equally retarded. just imagine
someone walking around their house, squinting and claping
repeatedly.
<H4Z3> 'what the hell are you doing?'  'Oh, I just need to fix
my glasses.'

<phiber> advice: dont call a girl ugly when you have your
manhood in her mouth ;/

<[SAD]Kuja> ppl like you are scum
<[SAD]Kuja> i hope you fucking choke you asshole
<[SAD]Kuja> if you died and ppl dissrespected you like that
<[SAD]Kuja> would you be happy ??
<pain> no. I would be dead.

<BluECliQ> My uncle from South Carolina is visiting for the
week.
<BluECliQ> I haven't seen this guy in 10 years and we have
nothing in common, but I have to make small talk for another 5
hours until my mom gets home.
<champlor> what kinda stuff is he into?
<BluECliQ> He hunts, fishes, drinks and works for a cable
company.
<champlor> your uncle is larry the cable guy?
<BluECliQ> If he says 'git er done', I'm leaving my house.

ThatIsDamnGood: Stupidity is an inexhaustible natural resource
ThatIsDamnGood: Someday we'll learn to generate electrical
power from it
ThatIsDamnGood: And it will change the world

<xoiprocs> it all started when my mother took my bike away cuz
i murdered my guinei pig and stuck him in the microwave
<obi`> haha
<obi`> i put my dog in the microwave once
<obi`> but i didn't press the button
<obi`> i just wanted to see if he would fit
<obi`> ...just in case
<xoiprocs> ok..
<obi`> you're the one that killed your guinea pig

<SYch0> ok
<SYch0> a word of warning:
<SYch0> never try to masturbate with a bandaid on
<SYch0> :(
<SYch0> cuz you might as well take a belt sander to your dick
<blazemore> what the fuck, sych0
<SYch0> :D

<ganked> Did the doctor give you your test results?
<ct> Yeah. Looks like all those years of phone sex caught up
with me.
<ct> I have hearing AIDS.

<Tak777> I have returned
* Feops disbelieves
<Feops> 1d20+1
<Ragnaar> Feops: 1d20+1 (6)
<Feops> damn
<Feops> fine, you're here.

finacosa: yous gots to be KIDDIN yo
finacosa: you best be steppin yall dont want nunna this shit
Nerosan2k: shut you mizzle my fizzle
finacosa: awww now it's on
Nerosan2k: my footizzle will stomp all ova' yo' shizzle,
bitchizzle
finacosa: im abouts to blockizzle yo ass
Nerosan2k: i will sizzle yo' shizzile at the big hizzle next
monizzile
finacosa: ?
Nerosan2k: the big hizzle, you know, school-izzle
finacosa: hahaizzle
Nerosan2k: lolizzle
finacosa: its like pig latin for dumb people

<fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
<fiveiron> porn rots your mind
<la_haine> course it doesn't
<la_haine> you're thinking of TV
<fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
<fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...

<Leon> lol @ The Register
<Leon> Schools use SMS to fight truancy
<Leon> Oi u ltl sh*t, get bk 2 skool now

<Cob`Onsite> unfortunately when i leave here, i must go to a
church with a 90 year old secretary
<Ridgey_wtf> church? what's that?
<ragtop> its similar to a mental hospital, but with less
physical restraints