bash.org archive

<Stray> you're a winner. i'm a winner. we're all winners here.
<KurtBatz> Everyone's a winner baby, that's the truth.  o/~
<Hawx> I have to go to fucking work tomorrow. I'm not a
winner.
<Hawx> I'm just a breadwinner.
<Hawx> But who the fuck wants to work for bread?
<KurtBatz> Ethiopians.
<Hawx> True

<RustyBridge> does the NotePad ever run out
<ArtoSaari> lmao?
<RustyBridge> ?

<chris> i've been to a lan-party with 130 people on the
weekend
<Matthew> Cool.
<Matthew> I have the internet.
<Matthew> It's one big lan party.
<Matthew> But the difference is...
<Matthew> You can jerk off, and no one knows.
<chris> true that

<Acero> man, i got a cramp in my leg when i was wacking off
last night
<Acero> i need to stretch or something

*** Martin has joined #Lostones
<Martin> word
<roy> indeed
<roy> but the question is
<roy> WHICH word?
<roy> her word?
<roy> My word?
<roy> HIS WORD?
<roy> it all depends...
<roy> on whose word.
*** Martin has quit IRC

<&Cenobite> I'd like to holiday in China
<&Cenobite> I want to see the great firewall
<+user> haha
<+user> you can see it from myspace
<+flying_purple_people_eater> lol
<&Cenobite> user: haha

*** Now talking in #-[TF]-
*** Topic is '*** Denmark has quit Worldcup (Read error:
Connection reset by England)'

Vrex989: know wonder you failed english

<+iNzpekth|buzy> where can i get some ftp programs??
<@pain> try www.google.com
<+iNzpekth|buzy> <<--Thx pain-->>
<@pain> lol, nice script
<+iNzpekth|buzy> <<--Thx pain-->>
<+iNzpekth|buzy> hey pain, i didnt find ftp from
www.google.com, which link is it?
* pain cries

<diz> i remember sticking lightbright pegs in places they
shouldn't go on a girl

<@doggie^> argh ffs
<@doggie^> just downloaded a 12mb program
<@doggie^> now im downloading a 22mb update

<Thrawn> i want to die and go to a place where i can screw
tons of chicks.
<Thrawn> actually
<Thrawn> fuck dying
<Thrawn> i just wan tto go to a place where i can screw tons
of chicks.

<Kazeuri> I feel like such a nerd
<Chris> Why?
<Kazeuri> I went to go call my girlfriend, and when I was
thinking of the first numbers to dial, instead of 535, "HTTP"
came to my head

<@PhatBob> try smoking bud with pubic hairs in it, now that
shit fucks you up
<@neotek> if you're smoking your pubic hairs, i'm PRETTY SURE
you're already fucked up.

<BigMilla2> but no I haven't done anything with my cousin
<BigMilla2> except for giving her a hug
<pj325is> and talk to her about sex
<Cruzn15> was that an arrousing hug?
<BigMilla2> oh yes!!!
<BigMilla2> I popped a 12 incher
<BigMilla2> and then we had sex in the trailer
<BigMilla2> and my sister got in on it too
<StealthBuddha> hell yeah
<Cruzn15> Now entering Alabama.

<ItBurn> when I'm drunk the other stuff dosent matter :P
<ItBurn> I could be mining coal and it would be fun :P
* Moraelyn ignores the dirty reference
<ItBurn> mmm
* NaHaliel is contemplating not ignoring it
* Belzebub forces NaHaliel to ignore it
<NaHaliel> so... mining coal, eh?..  I don't mind if you swing
that way, I guess.
<ItBurn> I was saying minig coal as in THE ROCK THING
<NaHaliel> it's ok burn, we still accept you for who you are
<NaHaliel> :D
<ItBurn> in a mine, with shafts and helmets
<Belzebub> Sure Burn...we all believe you.
<NaHaliel> shafts, yeah.
<ItBurn> ack
<Belzebub> Isn&#1169;t that kinda advanced S&M?
<ItBurn> lol :P
<Moraelyn> Helmet Burn?
* ItBurn shuts up
<NaHaliel> you know, morey.  the helmets you put on your shaft
when you mine for coal?
<Moraelyn> Um, we need to move on...

<bluefox> ok
<bluefox> so someone I was talking to online
<bluefox> wants to suck my dick
<bluefox> Yesterday, they bought an apartment here in
baltimore
<bluefox> and moved here
<bluefox> This is 98% creepy and 2% sexy

<+Celestar> there was some gun with a warning:"When shooting
on people, clothing may be damaged"

*** Mandingo ([email protected]) has joined #visualbasic
<Mandingo> hi any females here?
<LameLLama> subtle, real subtle

* vryxnr does a happy dance again
<vryxnr> :D
<vryxnr> @--<
<vryxnr> @-|-<
<vryxnr> @-?-<
<vryxnr> oops
<Keioto> hahah
<Keioto> you broke your arm

<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :)

* JuhorNieger slaps BlackWolf|Away around a bit with a large
trout
* BlackWolf takes the trout out of Submerge's hands, and puts
it back in the river. (Trout Saved: 96 ~~~><)))'>~~~><)))'>
~~~)

<bonch> You should write some Full House fan fiction
<Nastard> "...but little did Uncle Jesse expect to find Joey
standing alone in his room, surrounded by candles, pleasuring
himself.  He stood aghast for a moment, watching the tears
stream from Joey's closed eyes.  The soft music started to get
to him, and he found his hand rubbing against the crotch of
his pants, bringing 'little Elvis' alive for a rousing
crescendo of his own..."

<Chris281>Dude, i had a really weird dream last night
<Chris281>I kept dreaming that all of my data was lost because
my harddrives crashed
<Chris281>And my backups were nowhere to be found, so the
situation was fubar
<Chris281>So I woke up, soaked in sweat and checked whether my
backupjob was running
<Chris281>And it wasn't because for some reason the LTO drive
was jammed
<Vantheman>It's the classic nerd-shining

«+kennyv» drakkhen: heh, a buddy of mine offered me a p3
800mhz for 80 bucks about a year ago
«+kennyv» but i was like "GRRR FUCK INTEL BITCH"
«+kennyv» then i carved an amd logo into my chest with an old
isa sound card

<CrackHoe> I was so drunk last night I could not even jerkoff
<CrackHoe> well I could
<CrackHoe> but I was so drunk I lost interest

<@xZaratustra> ADVENTURE IS THE BEST GAME EVER
<@Brentai> NO PITFALL IS
<Xerox> Statbuilder!
<Nyphur> NOTEPAD!

Hyp3rHax0r: bah
Hyp3rHax0r: "Quote #278743 is pending moderation."
Hyp3rHax0r: why don't they just come right out and say it
Hyp3rHax0r: "Quote #278743 is pending rejection."

<@FKnight> if sex had a wizard
<@FKnight> my g/f would pick Typical
<@FKnight> no custom

*** valinhorn has joined #oregoons
<coyo7e> Immediately, she realizes that Christian Grey is not
some ancient forty-year old dude, practically crumbling to
dust atop his icy blonde empire, but a very hot young man:
<coyo7e> So young - and attractive, very attractive. He's
tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie
with unruly dark copper colored hair and intense, bright gray
eyes that regard me shrewdly.
<coyo7e> That... is one hell of a tie. I'm going to have to
ask someone, please, look into the kindness and the goodness
of your soul and photoshop me a picture of a black tie with
Robert Pattinson's hair and eyes stuck on it, gazing at me
shrewdly.
<valinhorn> um
<valinhorn> wow
*** valinhorn left #oregoons []

<v-ger> it's fun to hate people online - it's like a video
game and sensitive people's feelings are like quad damage

<GrimReap99> Anti is an example of an over-irc-ed child.
<GrimReap99> Antidead: "Hallo mother, what is for teh
breakfahst? double eww tee eff? Pancakes? Stfu."
<ANTIAWAY> dad - "!kb Antidead"
<GrimReap99> Mother: "!topic Pancakes biotch"

<Frisky> my oldest was 34.. when I was 17.. was my mums best
mate.. had an affair with her for 3 months heh.. she learnt me
quite a lot..
<Pie-Man> Frisky: she learnt you quite a lot? obviously not
grammar

<Zer0sKewl> Haha, I just nuked someone for my first time, Am I
elite now?

<Mr_Saturn> im surprised you won the race with 3 million other
sperm <VenDi> i never raced in anythin dumbass

<Ron> I am from the land where we do not speak english, I am
sorry for this minor setback

<FiZi> Radu
<FiZi> You got any Laptop Type 1 or 2 lancards with dongles?
<Tac0> dongles
<Tac0> now youre just makin shit up

<Sharna> i dont do linux tho
<Snooky> it solves all the world's problems
<Sharna> world peace too?
<Snooky> actually, let me check
<Sharna> k
<Snooky> ahh, here we go:
<Snooky> Summary of changes from v2.4.20-rc2 to v2.4.20-rc3
<[email protected]>:
o Change mark_dirty_kiobuf() to use set_page_dirty()
instead of SetPageDirty(). The latter fails to move onto
mapping->dirty_pages(), which breaks filemap_fdatasync()
o PROVIDES WORLD PEACE
<Snooky> as of kernel 2.4.20-rc3, linux has world peace
<Sharna> amazing
<Sharna> why dont more people know about this

<Stiffler> How's it going.
<FlyNavy> eh
<FlyNavy> been better
<FlyNavy> pretty much out of resin to smoke...
<FlyNavy> and I still don't have:
<FlyNavy> a job
<FlyNavy> a car
<FlyNavy> money
<FlyNavy> weed
<FlyNavy> or pussy
<Stiffler> So basically...
<Stiffler> It's all the same.
<Stiffler> ROFL
<FlyNavy> I need a job so I can get a car so I can have money
to buy weed
<FlyNavy> which I'll then use to get pussy
<Stiffler> Indeed
<FlyNavy> which'll then need to be maintained by a job
<FlyNavy> which to get I'll need a car
<FlyNavy> and for that I need money
<Stiffler> But you see, you first need the pussy to get the
weed to get the money to get the car to the job..
<FlyNavy> so I could try selling weed
<FlyNavy> :D
<FlyNavy> exactly...if I had some pussy, she could tell me
where to get weed to I could sell it to buy a car to get a job
to maintin the pussy that I'll get with weed which I'll buy
with money left over from buying a car that I earned at my job
<Stiffler> Indeed

<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up
* absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...

<Apollo-> ok, now this is messed up...I work on the 8th floor,
I got on the elevator on 1, I was the only person on.  I
farted, the elevator stops at 2 and someone gets on and rides
all the way up to 6
<TenBaseT> I hate that.
<TenBaseT> did you try to cover?
<Apollo-> No, but I thought about it
<Apollo-> he had a bag of burger king food, I almost said
"Man, your food reeks"

<BlackDeth> did you know i'm sitting on my toilet right now
<BlackDeth> taking a crap
<myhero> :L
<BlackDeth> i have been this whole conversation
<BlackDeth> brb wiping
*** myhero changes topic to '<BlackDeth> brb wiping'
<SD-Washu> erm k thats just wrong
<SD-Washu> you're not supposed to irc or call ppl from teh
fucking bathroom
<SD-Washu> i dont fucking care if you are joking
<ryo-ohki> I do it all the time. :/
<BlackDeth> i'm back on the couch
<BlackDeth> i dont talk to people on the phone when i'm on the
toilet
<BlackDeth> because they can hear the gruesome details

<Wazm> I was photographed in my natural environment today.
<Wazm> some photographers from the admissions office working
on some brochure for UNF took 60 photographs of me programming

<@Pimp-Jojo> mc... i saw a guy in a wheelchair begging for
money and playing a flute
<@Pimp-Jojo> couple of hours later i saw him gettng chased by
the police on foot
<@Pimp-Jojo> i mean wtf
<+_Mc_> still doesnt beat my tramp with the cardboard cutout
banjo

<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead
me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details
of raping an Internet window.

<watashi^_> There are 177wks 3days 3mins 44secs until
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson are legal! I can't wait! d:D->=<

(|Chris) take your dick out of the port
(Chis) hey it worked!

darshanji143: hey wanna chat sex?
flyinghermione: my mommy says I can't have cybersex with
strangers

<chikster> orion thinks im mad fine
<chikster> WOOHOO
* chikster dances around room
<orion> you need more pics
<chikster> never knew that
<orion> and i need to shave
<orion> i look like i'm 30
<chikster> i will have more when i get my camera
<maff> dont shave dude
<maff> grow an inverse fro
<chikster> lol
<arse-poet> haha
<jestuh> yeah chik i think you're pretty hot too in an
don't-arrest-me way

<lux0r> don't make me /molest you

<DeadPan> i would've challenged knights to fight in a 4 foot
body of water
<DeadPan> then just tried to push em over
<DeadPan> and laugh as they drown
<th15> theyd call you a wuss :)
<DeadPan> so i'd be alive and they wouldnt :)

<Synonymet> jestuh...hmm...I wonder if you can call your kid
"George Bush" in Afghanistan?
<eric|work> no
<Nyphur> You can, but he'd be stillborn.

<Total_Phreax0r> -LagServ- Your ping request will be
considered and might be returned in January 2003

[Leviath] I have a funny tingle in my nose. At 3:30pm I ate
some Kettle Chilli chips and went into this coughing/snorting
fit and coughed a small piece of chilli chip up my nose and
snorted it out. It burned like HELL and I in turn created a
scene being the 27 year old crying gayboy with a bag of chips
in one hand and some printer paper I used to blow my nose on
in the other :(((

<JakeStone> *shift change!*
<geo--> that's a very pretty shift, jake.
<geo--> don't think I've seen you wear that one before.
<JakeStone> thank you geo.  I got it at Macy's.
<geo--> the pearls complement it well.
<JakeStone> I'm thinking though, that the tiara is a bit much
though.
<geo--> well, only because you're wearing it as a codpiece.

<Midnight_Puppy> It does not matter if you are heavily
outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies
will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around
in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors

<MpTaNk> today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and
my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"

<Kakuei> Oh, and careful who you're calling slow, @home boy.

<z_evil1> what would be the good of a 3m dong? apart from the
fact that you could only use the tip of it, not even that if
it was in proportion, it would be reeeeal easy to get damaged,
you'd have lag problems with sensations along it's length, and
it would make you pass out upon erection :P
<z_evil1> mind you, you might be able to hang yourself with a
3m dong
<z_evil1> imagine that for a front page headline
<Bug> tie it round.. get an erection.. it'll do all the work..
<z_evil1> "IRC addicted freak hangs self with genitals"

<DrT> i was on that cruise once.  got really drunk and fucked
mini mouse
<katlizy> mini mouse?
<katlizy> is that not just a little kinky?
<DrT> freaked me out when the fake head came off.  turned out
to be a really nice guy though

<Mikael_Kreoss> reading the "stupid shit you believed as a
kid" thread
<Mikael_Kreoss> it owns
<Mikael_Kreoss> reminded me of the time as a kid I saw a pic
of the pope's bubble car thing
<Mikael_Kreoss> and thought it was meant to keep him in
<Mikael_Kreoss> like he was a monster or w/e
<Vanadium> hahaha
<Mikael_Kreoss> on display
<&Attilla> ahahahah
<Mikael_Kreoss> "WE CAUGHT THE POPE" and then celebration time
<Drakkar> hahaha

<Outsyder> they fell for the "look gulliable isn't in the
dictionary!"
<Outsyder> and they tried to find it
<Outsyder> but they couldn't spell it

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<@Rodan> Oral_U just shut down a paki internet cafe

<bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
<bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just
gets her legs
<bell-chan> BOOM
<bell-chan> you see nothing
<bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried

<Tremolo> They tried to shove Christianity down my throat
<Zenith> That's not where you're supposed to *shove*
Christianity!  Look at the priests!  They know what they're
doing.

<AlephZaku> Eh, is Quake 3 any good
<Kurushimi> yes.
<Kurushimi> i play with myself
<Kurushimi> HEY WTF I NEVER SAID THAT

Tuco forces you all to sing Fraggle Rock
Daedalus [FS]: Dance your cares away
Meatpack [FS]: Worry's for another day
Fokker [FS]: Let the music play
TheChosenOne [FS]: Down at Fraggle Rock
bilblak [FS]: Work you cares away
yoda99 [LC]: Dancing's for another day
omothes [LC]: Let the Fraggles play
CrazyHorse [CC]: We're Gobo
Cantwell [CC]: Mokey
Mycroft [FWL]: Wembley
The Nomad [FWL]: Boober
-Blade- [DC]: Red
DarkElf [DC]: Dance your cares away
Nazgul [DC]: Worry's for another day
HepBbI [DC]: Let the music play
kailindo [P]: Down at Fraggle Rock
crazyhorse [CC]: lol
iinaj [P]: Down at Fraggle Rock
>> Enter Brandon Malthus
adept [P]: Down at Fraggle Rock
Kommando [SOL]: thats awesome
Baron Morgan [P]: its awesome when its fraggle rock... its
scray when its YMCA...

<Draven> w0ot. 150 MB porn movie done!
<kaMIKazE> nice
<+RedvaldezAWAY> not bad Cow
<@murder1> wd d/l a 150 mb movie when all you're gonna last is
at 500kb

<misogynic> Senor: tell me, is your mother still attractive?
<SenorWeird> for someone her age, I'd say so.
<misogynic> Can I have her number?
<SenorWeird> (305)867-5309
<misogynic> :D!
<misogynic> What's her name?
<SenorWeird> Jenny
<misogynic> Is that her honest number?