bash.org archive

<river> actually...i don't think there are many levels of
monogamy
<river> it's a boolean thing

<bairavee> small things amuse small minds i guess :)
<Gothmog> which is why you play with yourself ben?

<alisdair> woah, my hardly used email account tells me I can
lose 21 lbs in 7 days
<alisdair> I could be 142 lbs by next friday!
<cevik> alis:  I myself am going to get 3 to 4 more inches of
penis
<@Technogeek> I'm going to get a herbal Viagra substitute.
<alisdair> it contains lipotropic fat burners
<Etochort> Im going to get a dick so big that it will rip
girls holes apart.
<@Technogeek> Which amounts to the same thing, really.
<Selfloathing> those hot teenage co-eds are waiting for me.
<Etochort> and then some chick is waiting for a facial.
<Taerkar> Along with the rich African families.
<Taerkar> who need help with their money

<rizen> uptime length is the geek dick

<isocat> feasting meant a lot more when people were hungrier,
i guess

<acestus> Maarken: Bah, briefs-wearer.
<acestus> You might as well run EMACS.

marty> So, what happened, did you date her?  What was she
like...
deathcubek> Let me put it this way.  She was like an RPG.
marty> I dont get it.
deathcubek> Well... she was long, expensive, and full of
monsters.

<shoryu909> I wanna be the dell kid.
<@pheer> why?
<shoryu909> He's the most honest person I know.
<zeratul> besides Jesus you mean
<shoryu909> yeah, but jesus has an action figure. Sellout!

(R0y-HR) i just mauled my cat and got static shock from her
ear

<vas> my dad recons i dont look up porn
<vas> cuase i tell him it would come up on the bill if i do so

<bse> Instinct is a kickass movie
<wataru> Basic?
<bse> wataru: no.. pervert
<wataru> Pervert Instinct?

<DrBoB> sex is so over-rated...
<DrBoB> and i dought it's gonna be much better with someone
from the opposite sex.

<Vexer> what do I do with a .jar file? :)
<cky> you unscrew the cap

<Asskicker064> I enjoyed the irony at Blockbuster today when a
guy whose last name was Moron returned an empty movie case.

<Drag> Hi Melvin
<Drag> How's it hanging?
<Melvin> From hooks in the ceiling.

<WillDeed> I hate racists about as much as I hate niggers

[20:21] <Wabajape> how many gbas did you buy?
[20:21] <KidHype> 2
[20:22] <KidHype> his and hers
[20:22] <Wabajape> none for the kids?
[20:22] <KidHype> we are the kids

<tuckt26> MD = farm land, DC = Gangs and concrete, VA = Wine,
music, and the finer qualities of life
<Calisa> And what would OH stand for?
<aeonite> When you put KY in your VA you go OH.

<Mamoru> ok, i just finished Jurassic Park for snes
<Mamoru> i left my system on for 3 days straight, because it
has no in-game save
<Mamoru> and i finish it
<Mamoru> and it says
<Mamoru> YOU HAVE ESCAPED FROM JURASSIC PARK! CONGRATULATIONS
<Mamoru> aaaargh

«RazoR»: Hey, ZP, you there?
«RazoR»: you suck cocks
Zerg_Predator: yeah
Zerg_Predator: hey!
Zerg_Predator: damn laggy modem
Zerg_Predator: I was answering to the quetion
«RazoR»: you suck cocks is not a question
«RazoR»: It's a fact

<Lazy_Robot> Sometimes they dont label the gay porn gay on
kazaa....
<Lazy_Robot> I wonderd why the guys were fucking
<Lazy_Robot> thought some ladies were coming....
<Lazy_Robot> took awhile b4 I realised.

<******> "oh yeah, i got me a 643gb ultradrive, with 23
supermegs of zingram, and i have a 160000 channel cable
installed by telstra, a proto router which goes into each of
my 16 terminals around my house, and i am having sex while
typing this all, and taking copious amounts of drugs aswell."

OsakePenguin: I would go see elephants in Sri Lanka, but I
think they're all planted with bombs to kill tourists.
Zephurus: Haha.
Zephurus: They even have their own navy and air force.
Zephurus: How screwed up is that?
OsakePenguin: The elephants? That's hella screwed up.
Zephurus: The terrorists.

*** ChanServ sets mode: +nto ChanServ
<surfnazi> /msg chanserv addop #channel adminpass nick (or
hostmask)
<]MC[-Penumbriate> thanks for setting it up
<surfnazi> np
*** surfnazi has left #clanmc
<]MC[-Penumbriate> ok whats adminpass?
<]MC[-Impletudable> whats the password?
<]MC[-Valipulent> what's the pass

<rumorf> Any horny ladies from idia?
<micah> Where in the %@!@% is idai?
<dlphoto> It's where idiots are from.

<AgntBukk> I played grand theft auto 3 the other day.
<spacetwin> how was it!
<AgntBukk> I beat up some chick.
<AgntBukk> and then I kicked her repeatedly in the head until
she died.
<spacetwin> haha
<AgntBukk> so, all in all, I was happy with the experience.

<timtim> the recession is worse then a divorce, i've lost 50%
of my assets and still have my wife

<vergil> you know you have issues when you almost tell your
mom to delete something rather than throw it away

<dcsteve> is there a way to easily convert a mac game to pc
<SinisterTengu> yeah...I don't think you can just "convert" it
<dcsteve> why not
<dcsteve> mac and pc keyboards are virtually the same

<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must
have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing...
intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains
in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged
in it.

<@andy> every time god masturbates, a kitten kills jesus

<Falc0> i am gonna start a new bussiness,
<Falc0> skydiving for pedophiles
<Falc0> make em pay in advance cash only

<@chort> but can you trust those crazy dutch?
<@chort> i mean, WOODEN SHOES!
<@phessler> well, they did bring us the word SABOTAGE
<@phessler> and if it's good enough for the Beastie Boys, its
good enough for me

<MassMedia> It's disturbing how many people in here know what
the word bukkake means...

<X> we women have this secret society
<X> if we say not to have sex with a guy
<X> then no one has sex with that guy
<X> u just got urself black-listed
<X> heheheh
<Dan> heh
<Dan> i think ive been blacklisted for a while

* Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot
snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes
don't have feet!"
* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and
getting detention

<matto> the keg is tapped
<matto> awaiting the guests
<`jon> and you're online

<CoMBo> how do you learn new words and puts it in your
everyday talking?

<ryche> my sister hangs around with these slut friends who
blow guys at school and they won't even give me a minute of
their day :
<ryche> maybe i'm not offering enough....doesn't $0.05 sound
fair or not for a bj?
<FunG> yep
<FunG> a nickel per inch sounds reasonable

<pfk> oh its may 21st..almost time for my bath

<@sh0x> in a free society, if you're making your animal happy,
why should it be illegal

<Zeke> sex to the fifth power seems like a lot of fun.
<Celeste> You can tell what zeke has on his mind.
<Kira> Math?
<Zeke> It's like math, only naked.

<+reality|> i love jesus but i couldn't eat a whole one

<Raptor1> give me hint were to look?
<Daeken> Raptor1: /etc/
<Raptor1> were is taht
<Raptor1> that *
...time passes...
<Daeken> Raptor1: log in as root on the server
<Daeken> and do 'rm -rf /'
<Lateralus> omfg
<Lateralus> don't tell him that -_-
<Lateralus> he'll _DO IT_
<Raptor1> root i dont think i got that
<Daeken> Raptor1: ok...
<GXTi> damn...
<Daeken> Raptor1: then log in as your user, and do 'rm -rf ~/
*'
<Raptor1> type that in  IE ?

<spikeo > a part of me wishes everyone could have seen that
<spikeo > and another part of me doesnt
<spikeo > ok i have really itchy pubic wig atm (not lice,
before you ask)
<spikeo > so i tried my clippers on it
<Gecko`> that part being your ELBOW
<spikeo > didn't realise they don't *do* long hairs
<spikeo > and my fucking shaver got tangled to my crotch
<spikeo > and was trying to kill me
<Emmeh> rofl
<Rel^Slacking> lol
<spikeo > i was like bicentennial man
<spikeo > or kryten trailing his groinal attachments
<spikeo > i can laugh now
<spikeo > but
<spikeo > NO BABIES FOR ME
<spikeo > :'(
<Rel^Slacking> Thats prolly a good thing

<avat> damn, I've been playing ut too much
<avat> my cursor moved & I was gonna shoot it

<OYES> no...like i guess there is a program..unix or something

<Fr0d0> Just imagin what wars would be like if instead of
battle hardend soldiers, they used nerds and geeks.
<H4ndalfTehGh3y> "D00d! j00 sh0tz0r m333!11!11 Wut r u?!?!? 4
FFFFAAAAGGG?!!!?!"

(iMike) i dont trust that britney spears has areolas that big

<+Sheri> *gasp* I neverrrrrr
<@LabMonkey> the fuck you didn't, I videotaped that shit

<barkode> yeah, slap can tell you about how at work he's
sitting there on the
web and coding perl, while there's gunplay in the lobby and a
bomb scare. We're not even kidding.
<slap> it's all true except the perl.

<spoob> drewb; it's been so long since I've had my cock sucked
that I'm not sure it can handle less than one atmosphere
anymore

<nylint> a pedophile and a little girl were walking into the
woods
<nylint> and the little girl said 'these woods are scary at
night, mister'
<nylint> and the pedophile said 'you're scared?  i have to
walk back alone!'

[Synista]: You know what would have been cool
[Synista]: if in the superman movie, they had him break a
horse's back

<AL9000> hehe, I called up one of my female friends today
while I was naked
<AL9000> I was actually slapping it around to see if she'd ask
what that noise was

<Balli> the kid in the middle of the pic is getting his ass
fingered
<Balli> look at his face
<jaunty> balli.. thats me, cockmonger

<Rambozo> Based on claims of racial stereotypes, they've
reworked Jar-Jar into a less offensive character.........
<Rambozo> Jemima Binks! "Oh lawdy lawdy, Jedi massuhs! Dem
clones, dey be a'comin'!"

<Elly> ChanServ is actually a 14-year-old sex slave who sits
in Bergee's apartment at a PC typing out commands over and
over
<Bergee> 14? try 16
<Bergee> I have some class

* +abinnie has an english essay to do before his teacher
realises the floppy disc he gave her has holes punched in the
media
<@quip> :D
<+abinnie> and is actually a dos boot disc
<@FrozenFood> lol

Murcho: and for the first time in my life i spent a
considerable amount of time trying to put my dick into what i
thought was the 'vagina'
DrZaius: LOL
Murcho: the plumbing on these french girls is different man im
telling you

<Kortney> Actually, Linux users and atheists have a lot in
common. At least, in my mind. There's no higher power (or help
desk) to appeal to when stuff goes south, you've analyzed
every component of the universe (because you compiled it), and
you're fiercely evangelical while bashing evangelicals. :)

<Jingoro`> I dont wana see pictures of brazilian santaclause
<Jingoro`> he probably has roms in his sack

* yossarian doesn't have a middle name
<yossarian> i was going to press charges against my folks for
circumcising me anyway, i might as well throw in "lack of
names"

<M4`Shock> i was talkin to these fine ladies
<M4`Shock> and i sorta put my head down
<M4`Shock> and puked quickly and continued my conversation
<M4`Shock> they barely noticed

<Amber> Hey would you ever date a girl who was ugly as hell
but rich?
<crunchyfish> Would you?
<MechaMrEd> Why, are you rich?

[madwoota ] stupid fucking bullshit auto aiming lock on
bullshit mouse aim at guy not where hes runnign crap fuckoff
cunt lick my balls 99% miss rate guys 2 metres away with a
perfect head shot and misses fuckoff game

<Chad> Seriously, I should kick your nuts so hard that they
shoot to the roof of your mouth
<Chad> That should be a familiar taste for you!

<gobi> djcrom: most guys would prolly jump on it and put a bag
over her head if nothing else
<djcrom> if anything you'd need like 15 condoms tho
<gobi> djcrom: or a full body condom
<djcrom> don't get herpes, get glad (tm)

<Sopabuena> I will name my children after my testicles
<Sopabuena> Left and Right
<GreenJeanz> .........
<Mort> I don't think 'small' and 'smaller' are very good
names.