bash.org archive

<MrSede> If it could balance a beer on its head without
spilling I'd give it props, but any rodent can balance a
pancake on its noggin

[zekester] who the hell likes siliconed up tits
[DreadQ] any tit is better than no tit
[DreadQ] except them ones you pay some ho 10 bucks in the park
to flash
[zekester] 10 bucks to flash?
[zekester] you can get a baseball bat for 10 bucks and that'll
get you more than a flash

<@kazin> why does php have 'echo' and 'print'?  Do they do
different things?
<Bluefoxicy> kazin:  echo prints in a big empty room.

<Fluffball> f*ck*ng linux
<D-BOY> Yes, I enjoy fixing linux too
<D-BOY> fucking it never worked out to well. Those hole in the
middle of a cd just aren't big enough...
<CommanderStab> Bah. It's not the size that matters =D
<D-BOY> Size matters when the hole is too damn small
<D-BOY> flesh stretches
<D-BOY> plastic doesn't
<CommanderStab> SHOWS WHAT KIND OF PLASTIC YOU'VE BEEN USING

<Ron`> My wife doesn't get paid for 2 years
<HeroShot> What is she, a whore?
<Ron`> Actually, one night I came home and I found 200 dollars
on my dresser...
<Phrak|t> Damn... she left $400 on mine

<Chebarak> dude where you live?
<Ildefonse> i live in the netherlands
<Chebarak> right
<Chebarak> so where you live ?

<via_> okay, so my white trashiness knows no bounds
<via_> my dad had to thaw out the turkey quickly
<via_> so guess how he does it?
<antiuser> blowtorch?
<concaf> deep fry?
<via_> he throws a 25lbs turkey in the spa for 20 minutes
<concaf> HAHAHHAH
<Wevah> GET YOUR FLAME THROWERS OUT
<via_> worked like a charm

<-yptosis> But Kazaa is telling me freecondoms.com is having a
blow-out extravaganza...
<-yptosis> That doesn't seem like it'd sell condoms very
well... blow-outs are the last things I need...

<Acero> dude we could get a ounce of chronic just for jerking
off into a cup!

<mog> 4/f/kali, ne1 wanna cybar?  omglol moms home brb
<mog> er...
<mog> that was supposed to be 14
<mog> either way

<TurdS> i have to go and negociate the release of the
chocolate hostages
* TurdS is now known as TurdS[shitting]

<[werk]chin> (Bobo) "With the sam's deal on a 100 gb drive, im
able to download and store the porn of 10 regular men"

<DocWebstr> Okay... a couple of things before I very literally
go pass out....
<Mycroft> If it's about Soylent Green, we already know. :)

<_alph4_> cedra when are you coming to live with me
<cedra> I can't
<_alph4_> :(
<cedra> Unless you live here in this country
<_alph4_> i do not
<_alph4_> i live in the democratic republic of trump
<cedra> What state
<_alph4_> denial
<_alph4_> sometimes confusion

<+dementia^> they should have reality tv program on that is
actually funny.
<+dementia^> called "ima noob get me out of here" and make
them use linux for a week

<W> Tatjun needs a date
<L> The dude couldn't get a date if he polled a time server.

(Griff) dalnet has a small man who visits each user's home in
turn,. he is like santa,
but he is the nickname man
(Griff) if you have been a good boy or girl he will let you
register your nick
(Griff) if you have been bad he will make you Guest34535
(Griff) he's St. NickServ

<Chis> how do you permaterm an aol account assuming you have
the password?
<Chis> to an account
<Chis> just incase someone would want to theoretically do this

<stealth_> my brother downloaded cm4 from kazaa
<stealth_> and... it went pretty well for him
<stealth_> he had been playing for about 1½ hours
<stealth_> then this message pops up.
<stealth_> "had fun? well fu you and go buy the game you warez
haxx0r"
<stealth_> then the game crashed :)

<Spooky42> JESUS H CHRIST
<Spooky42> my dad sounds like hes giving head everytime he
eats a popsicle
<Spooky42> its fucking gross

<Frizz0> anyone want a compaq proliant raid server 256M
hardware raid p-pro200
<Frizz0> its about to get sold for drugs
<k5sss> payment in drugs, or payment in cash to buy drugs?
<Frizz0> either way is fine

* Tomis has quit IRC (Quit: Flush twice, it's a long way to
the kitchen.(Graffiti on wall of McDonald's bathroom))

*** MC-Magical_Tetris_Challenge is now known as MC-MarioGolf
<Magisa> do you like
<Magisa> run all the way over to the computer to change your
away nick every time you put a new cart in your n64

*** cuteone4 has joined #photoshop
(cuteone4): has anybody in here helped me with a graphic in
the last few days?
(cln): you can be damn sure i havnt
(cuteone4): UP YOURS CLN
(cuteone4): i am trying to learn this program
(cuteone4): stupid layers.
(cln): wait..
(cln): youve been in this chan for what? 2 years?
(cln): and you don't know jack shit about photoshop?
(cuteone4): i just got the program recently

<virika> i need a back massage
* virika wonders if her vibrator is strong enough to give a
decent back rub in place of a REAL back massager
<Chaensaw> haha
<Chaensaw> dora's the only woman on earth to use a DILDO as a
BACK MASSAGER
<virika> i broke my back massager ):

<Jorenko> I'm getting a 96.1% in ORGASM right now, though.
That's good.
<ZRaven> i didn't know Schroe had a grade book
<Jeff> Wow, I wish I could be graded for having orgasms.
<Schroe> ...
<Jorenko> EECS-2100: Computer Organization and Assembly
Language
<ZRaven> the nice thing is if you weren't doing well, you
could withdraw

*** Now talking in #physics
<Lud> "To enable the plasmatic vortex in the neighbouring
regions of an oscillating singularity, we would of course have
to override the eternal protonic fields surrounding the
various quantized eddies"
<TrixyDLuX> oh - of course

<ducks> I was looking through someone's eBay auctions
<ducks> and this is what I see listed
<ducks> * GIRL SCOUT COOKIES THIN MINTS ORDER NOW!! *
<ducks> HAND PAINTED FLOWER POT VASE PICTURE FRAME
<ducks> SET OF 6 AMBER SUNFLOWER SALAD / FRUIT BOWLS
<ducks> THE CUTEST LITTLE ANGEL RAG DOLL
<ducks> STRIPPER VHS MOVIE

* nailer goes to the city to acquire stuff
<zeitgeist> lol
<zeitgeist> stuff huh
<ambr> $10 says he's acquiring bumsex

(doggie^): i cant believe you're getting a new mobile number
rather than do work
(doggie^): i applaud you
(slippy): lol
(slippy): it's not worth the money
(slippy): like that chap who had the WinME machine with the
virus
(slippy): two days later he called again
(doggie^): rofl
(slippy): "i opened the virus email again and i'm infected
again"
(slippy): <HangUp>

<Devan> I got a 75 dollar check today for no reason!
<Devan> What can I buy with 75 dollars?!
<Devan> Guys?
<Vesp> A shitty blowjob or a fantastic handjob

<Fryboy> stormos sister aint that bad
<stormo> please don't talk about my sister like that
<ambrness> go back to insulting me and my taste, Fryboy ..
safer ground
<stormo> she has more integrity than to go out with some loser
who spends all his life on IRC
<Fryboy> ahahahah
-ambrness- thats why incest is out of the question for him

* byra bounces like a retard
<Argent-> Are you listening to something bouncy?
<byra> nope.
<byra> im listening to the hum of computers
<Argent-> Well, that always perks me up.
<Argent-> The comforting whirr of fans, the faint ozone
smell.. ah, I love that new computer smell you get when you
buy a new case.
<Argent-> The slick texture of anti-static bags..
<Argent-> the clink of mounting hardware
<countzero> -stop- you're turning me on!
<countzero> ooh la la.

* deVoca wonders how many American here know on what date the
Civil War started and ended.
<Bell_of_Ygg> deV, I can't remember when-I can only remember
how, why and what.
<The_Freakazoid> That means bell can remember it in the ass,
for love, with a phone. But not who did it or when it
happened.

<iggypop> if i dont get on tomorrow, i'm probably burnt up
<iggypop> i took the battery out of my smoke alarm for my
digicam

<DigDug> i'm so tired of reformatting quotes :/
<c-rOCK> THEN DONT
<c-rOCK> KILL THAT QDB
<c-rOCK> LIKE YOU WERE ABRAHAM
<c-rOCK> AND THAT SHIT IS YOUR SON

<Podex> AHOY! I SEE THAT THE FAG FLEET IS IN PORT.  MY INSULTS
AND DISSING SHALL DECIMATE YOU LIKE A VERBAL PEARL HARBOR!
*** Podex was kicked by Chipko (autokick for CAPS LOCK)

<Jessica6> I may not be good at languages but I'm a lot better
at maths than you two! :P
<Jessica6> Er....I mean 'you three'

<hawk> health class was the greatest
<Kirk> ...
<Kirk> Heh
<JuKe> even losers like you get to see vaginas

<C0chise> i think if you say "dogshit eating," then saying
"dumb" is pretty much redundant

<Enderski> redheads are nuts
<Badtz> I like my girls nuts

<slashed24> who? -P
<slashed24> dammit...my emoticon is blind

<ChlOrPh> it's rillY frustrating to wanna fuck someone who
doesn't exist

<Hittman> !op
<Hittman> %op
<Hittman> ^op
<Hittman> wtf
<Hittman> its broken
<Hittman> someone fix it
<Gaz> press alt + f4
*Hittman has quit IRC (Quit: )
<Fragbait> LOL
<Gaz> haha.

[11:03] <nish> gee...this room is really fast - quick
replies!!
[12:47] <Grinko> zoom

pinkboy   so, like, how the FUCK do you let your wife get to
1200lbs?
ScottM    <pinkboy> so, like, how the FUCK do you fuck your
1200lb wife?
pinkboy   I can't imagine that it would be too difficult,
unless of course you're picky about finding the real vagina.

<meenk> and when you get to the point
<meenk> fold it up and tuck it?
<ophie> +-----------------*
<ophie> |  roll with this |\_    when you get to the flap
<ophie> |  flap --->      |  \_   tuck this little pointed
<ophie> |  to the outside |    \_  end into the flap
<ophie> |                 |      \_
<ophie> +-----------------+---------*
<etr1gan> how odd, an ascii diagram for rolling a dollar for
snorting

<gwb> qu:230; [23|30] <trunks> thanks to you and your advice
[23|31] <trunks> i have a bandaid on my balls [23|31] <trunks>
fucker. [23|31] <trunks> and i clogged my shower drain
<gwb> lmao @ the clogged shower
<Gold> wtf
<Shreds> what the
<Gold> he shaved his nutsack?
* trunks has joined #drifters
<Shreds> hahahaha
<gwb> roflflflf
* Shreds hands trunks a mach3
<trunks> whatever
* trunks has left #drifters

*** Double0 has quit IRC (Penguins are Fat, Slow, and Dumb,...
Windows are Rigid, Fragile, and Breakable .)
<Pingu> Hey!
<Pingu> Im a penguin!

<`dsx-efnex> yeah counterfeiting canadian money is about as
useful as cloning the french

<mightyflo> they keep all interesting stuff from entering the
country i live in
<mightyflo> and at the same time, flood it with total crap
<Slant> mightyflo: It's a conspiracy to make us stupid.
<Reo> and it's too late for many of us

<[-FcG-]SOAD17[-RawR-]> I WANNA BE AN OP TOO!
<MacIrish> OMG that be like givin a monkey a shotgun

<eastjinx> from 19 to now, my world has completely changed
<DigDug> my world changes every 6 months :[
<|steve|> the world has changed 3 times since the last time i
been out
<sev> world changes for me everyday
<|steve|> but our penis size stays the same

<phoenix`> Painting your hand yellow does not mean you have an
asian girlfriend.....

<Gartt> hows the job hunt going?
<Lubey> lol not too great
<Lubey> theres sod all
<Gartt> I hear mcdonalds are looking for hard working
enthusiastic individuals
<Lubey> id cook my own dick before working in a mcdonalds
* Kittie-Ash hands Lubey a small guillotine
<Lubey> small?!?!?!?!!??!

<@Wizzard> love is a word men use to get laid
<@Wizzard> actually replace men with teenaged boys
<@SJr> men use money

<rubio_> i'd be afraid of my penis shrinking
<rubio_> to the point it looks like a clit
<rubio_> the humidity here already fuxors with it!
<SEoD> hehe good excuse
<rubio_> hahahahah
<rubio_> its embarassing when a stripper grabs it and stifles
a laugh
<rubio_> then pats you sympathetically on the shoulder
<SEoD> hehe and puts money in your pocket
<rubio_> hahahahah
<SEoD> "go see a doctor"

hadesup: for a quarter? you capitalist whore.
badgerwithagun: hey, a quarter is a fifth of a dollar!
hadesup: ...
hadesup:um. you mean fourth
badgerwithagun: whatever.

<JoeyB> what would be better of a car to modify, a honda
accord, or a toyota
corrola
<Focus2001> oh man'
<pagan> which is better, dog poop or cat poop?
<pagan> ;p
<coug_> LOL

*** Quits: Light^NG (i got chikz in da livin' room gettin' it
on, and they ain't leavin' 'till six 'n the morn')
<rhythm> what the fuck
<rhythm> i wanna go to his house

<Twid> ha ha, startrek.net dsl is now available
<Twid> living in parent's basement required

<SomeKindaHate> NO SOP FOR YO
* SomeKindaHate looks for his 'u' key

<%NuttO> Yeah, kids are stupid. I open up the back of my van
and say, "Hey, kid, want to see something cool?" and they
always fall for it.

([rSu]iridium) xenex and I are on the same train of thought
today. I want to get off :)
([Ci]XeneX) the train, I hope.

<Tatws_> dammit!
<Tatws_> i typed "cg_draw2D 0" in the console to get rid of
the 2D things and i dont know how to get them back!
<Tatws_> how to get them bak!?
<Buck> ehrm
<Buck> switch the 0 for a 1? dumbass
<Tatws_> ha that wil never work! you think im stupid?

<K2134> holy shit >.< all the guys just ran down the stairs
and out the door because the fucking ice cream truck.. talk
about immature...
<K2134> lmao.. its funny, six 20 year old guys standing in
line for ice cream...

(@tgitm): I still think its funny when girls say "size doesn't
matter"
(@tgitm): if that's the case, why are dildos never small but
beautiful?

<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it,
but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting
movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my
ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves

A78Gamer: BEFORE YOU DIE, YOU SEE THE RING
A78Gamer: Just like Owen Hart.