bash.org archive

<Ransid> i did tech support for a day before i quit when
someone asked me whats double clicking

<FedorhaJergins> I left my job today. I couldn't work for that
man after what he said to me.
<ImAndreaKitty> what did he say?
<FedorhaJergins> your fired

<IH8Pants> I was too talented for the football team
<IH8Pants> So I joined band

<Lathari> jack your ethernet into my ass and we'll have
ourselves a REAL Lan party.

<genjzzzzzz> i was dsl-less for like 7 hours
<genjzzzzzz> and then some fat tech support dude at
earthlink.net fixed it
<genjzzzzzz> "oops sorry i have fat fingers and hit two keys"
<genjzzzzzz> he said that, seriously :P

<[KoF]Pyramus> you wound me, sir
<EdgeCrusher> sorry
<EdgeCrusher> ill hit harder

<Sparky-Steve> UK = 60 million
<jpp> I thought it was 85mill or so
<jpp> have any plagues recently?

Ifonlyiwerecool: we're supposed to make a program for java,
and it has to get the highest # out of a set
Ifonlyiwerecool: and we're supposed to name the program
'getHigh'

<_pr1me> Nothing says christmas like handjobs in the olive
garden bathroom for $2 a piece

<Staberinde> Ah lovely.  First I get Hirsuite women spam mail
now I get "Anal breakfast fisting" spam mail
<Boogaleeboo> Eh.
<Boogaleeboo> "Do you like gay fisting?" still tops it for me
<Boogaleeboo> Not because it is so out there, but because it's
really a blow to the ego for three seconds
<Boogaleeboo> Before you think "Hey, they don't know who the
fuck I am"
<Staberinde> What I love is getting 2 viagra spam mails
surrounded by spam mail for car loans or home loans
<Staberinde> Apparently they think that I can't get a loan and
it's making me impotent

<Grezshnaw> I didn't discover masturbation until I was around
12/13, and then it was by dressing a pillow up in my sisters
clothers and humping it.

<saunafrend>: you know, next time we're in a building thats
burning down, and someone screams "GOD PLEASE HELP US!! IF WE
HAD A SMARTMEDIA READER WE'D ALL BE SAVED!!" you won't think
it was such a waste of money anymore, and i'll laugh as you
burn.

* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun
development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE
HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"

[@revmoo]: O_o
[@revmoo]: I love windows
[@revmoo]: I unpack a divx on k:
[@revmoo]: and it tells me
[@revmoo]: "C: is running out of space"

<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit

<@Cav> the tvs on, and the really pretty lady that reads the
news is smiling at you
<@Cav> and you think to yourself, shes smiling, i think she
fucking likes me
<@Cav> i think im gonna have to rub me cock on the tv
<@Cav> and you cant help yourself!
<@Cav> you rub your cock on the tv and shes still smiling
<@Cav> and you think oh! im gonna have to have a pull
<@Cav> and you having a pull
<@Cav> and you close your eyes at the moment of your high
enjoyment
<@Cav> and dont you hate it
<@Cav> when you open your eyes, the programs changed
<@Cav> and youve shot in don burkes mouth!

<@CoMPLeX[a]> im booting man
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nite nite
<@Vedran> now im gonna b bored
<@CoMPLeX[a]> nah
<@CoMPLeX[a]> just keep pasting quotes
<@Inf3kTeZ> lol
<@CoMPLeX[a]> ill set a timer to say ROFL every 5 mins

<ChineseElite> there is nothing wrong with using linux..
<Threeboy> if that's the lifestyle you wanna live, i wont
judge you.
<Threeboy> i just wont support you at the parades.

<dr_tril> i wanna be bruce lee
<aNuBiS-> i wanna fuck his tight chinese ass
<ChewToy> ok that's a visual i didn't need anubis
<ChewToy> what is it with you and homosexuals this morning?
<dr_tril> or what is it with him and homosexuals every morning

poetically kyle:  my gramma's funny...we were driving behind 
a short bus and she saw all the helmets and she was like "OH
LOOK! HOCKEY PLAYERS!"

<Varitek> a piece of spam in my inbox had the subject "new
fap"
<Varitek> I decided to forget my principles and actually read
it
<Varitek> it was selling fake watches
<Varitek> I was crushed

<lud> who was he? someone you know or just someone you pumped
into

<Thermy> CE is both a pain and a pleasure to work with, like
sex with a teenager
<tom> you can only make jokes about sex with teenagers if you
arent fucking one i think
<Thermy> who made those rules?
<Hocho> jesus, lord of atlantis
<Eskimo> that guy owes me five bucks

<Fentom> great, I'm spending my saturday nights on the
computer looking at pictures of dildos
<Fentom> trekkies look down on me and call me sad

<McMoo> i need to start making a list of crap i need to buy
for my new place
<timmo> 1) food
<var-> 3 gallons vaseline, subscriptoin to hustler, 100 cases
of ramen
<timmo> hah
<kisama> heh
<kisama> vaseline isn't even that great
<kisama> fuck that pussy shit
<kisama> you need astroglide
<kisama> and a set of japanese wack mittens
<kisama> let me link you
<kisama> http://www.jlist.com/cgi-bin/disp.cgi?img=http://
images.jlist.com/c2/jr6992.jpg&x=573&y=500
<kisama> One of the tools used by soap girls is a rubber
"magical mitten" which works with soap as lubricant for a
great feel. This is a super soft rubber sheet that is held in
the hand and used to clean anything you might want to clean.
<var-> haha
<timmo> you scare me snow
<kisama> just trying to ensure a soapland experience in the
privacy of your own home.

<@Master_Logan> few have achieved my level of enlightenment
<kiwiman> ..
<kiwiman> Jesus
<kiwiman> I so want to make fun of you
<@Master_Logan> If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do
we still have monkeys and apes?
<kiwiman> Without them, we wouldn't have someone to tell us
how enlightened he is
<@Master_Logan> youre really askin for it
<kiwiman> No
<kiwiman> If i was i'd be saying "Please kick me monkey"

<Stay99>but anyway, back to me. I want to be the ruler of the
world. Sometimes-I play ruler of the world in my basement when
noone else is home

<fahd> anyone want to volunteer with me at the retirement home
<d3> hell no fahd
<d3> have fun cleaning up 93 year old feces
<fahd> no
<fahd> just to talk to them
<fahd> entertain them
<fahd> and maybe get laid

<NetherMagic> i always tape my screwed up CDs on the walls of
my room, so when ppl walk by my house they'll go blind and get
hit by a car

onkeybutt87: I saw more tonight then I've seen in the past
fifteen years of my life
onkeybutt87: I saw several girls in their bras
onkeybutt87: (and, yes, they knew I was there)

<MWGemini> theres a chemical release in ur body after sex that
induces sleep
<fAEt> its the bodys natural defense, to keep from talkin to
the girl ;)

*** Fl0g ([email protected]) has joined #
math
<Fl0g> PERVERTS!!!
*** Fl0g ([email protected]) has left #math

( Loony-Stud) pretty ass?
( Lev       ) possibly....everytime i check i get dizzy from
turning and fall down

* sabeel ([email protected]) has joined #winprog
* delete[] sets mode: +v sabeel
<+sabeel> is google working ...?
<+O_6> !google sabeel is retarded
<+logiclrd> O_6: http://www.prairienet.org/cpt/archives/2000/
oct00/0006.html
<+O_6> ^^
...
<+sabeel> !google O_6 is also retarded
<+logiclrd> sabeel: Sorry, the server did not return expected
response headers. This probably means that there were no
matches to your query.
<@violus> huhuh
<+O_6> sabeel, touche, retard
<@violus> owned.

<sh-> integration is shit
<sh-> math style, not rosa parks style

... signoff!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS(Ping timeout)
... join!#linuxhelp -> SpamapS
([email protected])
<SpamapS> Guess who can't tell the difference between the
monitor's power cable and the *firewall*'s power cable?

<Dead_Ice> dial up CS is good
<Dead_Ice> cos ya lag that much you can dodge the bullets
matrix style

<Acero> my parents never bought me candy for shit because my
moms a dental assistant
<Acero> so i'd have to hide candy like drugs
<Acero> thats how i got so good at it

<Yukanojo> "Before departing for Japan, successful candidates
receive written materials about the Programme along with a
Japanese language text and tapes."
<Yukanojo> GOOD LORD
<Yukanojo> That's like dropping you into the middle of the
vietnam war with a stick and a fork

<sprawd_> how do i delete the history in konquerer?
<RichiH> the smart way of saying "i've been browsing porn at
my dad's computer"

<ksennin> "Do the girls have to shave their asses?"
<ksennin> [x] Yes
<ksennin> [ ] Yes
<FT> ksennin: Your definition of 'great' tends to be weird.
<TripleRach> Shave, what
<FT> Try "Shake"
<ksennin> Oh shit.
<ksennin> Yes, "Shake"

[mad] WHAT KINDA PRESIDENT DO WE GOT ANYWAYZ
[mad] HE SMOKES WEED AND DONT INHALE
[mad] GETS A BLOW JOB AND DONT CUM
[mad] I MEAN CMON.

(zarkonite): im totally addicted to bash.org
(MikeWork): i'm totally addicted to this funny white powder i
found tons of in a gym bag jammed behind a stall at the
bus-station's bathroom

<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or
gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant

<zs> i wanted to talk to him before i suicide
<zs> afk for a minute
<waffle> suicide does not count as afk

* Pilgrim has joined #lockergnome
<Pilgrim> is it just me, or did this chan get bigger since the
last time i was here? :p
<Rage> when were you last here?
<Siren> yeah, we knocked out that wall
--------------------------------->
<Siren> :P

<Charion> hmm... lets see what other horrible ways might one
inflict pain and death on ones self. we've got ripping off
your own face disembowlment by belly button. any other ideas?
<BlakHawc> A simple one:  be run over, feet first, by a very
slow-moving steamroller.
<Jarp> Blak: And then you sorta bounce back up and grab a
compressed air tank and reinflate yourself and your false eyes
pop out?
<BlakHawc> Jarp:  Well, only if you're a toon.  Otherwise,
you're pretty much fucked.

-!- LWashu [[email protected]] has
joined #Channel
< LWashu> /j harstad
< LWashu> join asd
< LWashu> JOIN Harstad
< LWashu> JOIN #HARSTAD
< LWashu> #JOIN Harstad
< LWashu> /JOIN Harstad
<@unixpeon> wow
-!- LWashu was kicked from #channel by sybase [shut the fuck
up]

<OneiWilly> ah crap i accidently downloaded winzip again
instead of winamp

<fyre> i'd like to meet a CS chick, just once
<fyre> and ask her if she wants a headshot

<Dingles> Why am I such a funny person?
<Jack104> 'Cause your life is a joke?

<Sion_Barzahd> So there are only 3 votes and since that is not
enough I will have to choose myself.
<DecmlCat> </Bush>

<tsingtao> i got a test back today
<tsingtao> i got 100%
<IgWannA> was it for HIV?

<jimmiejaz> I just tried to use my mouse to copy a URL off the
t.v. :(

BOSS: hey
BOSS: you know this one website?
A7X: yeah
A7X: thats a cool site

<@GeNOc|DE> damn i wanna bone the lead singer of evanescence
<@eught> what does she looks like?
<@GeNOc|DE> sex

* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw,
really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r>  No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious
relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character
is human
and she is an alien...

<firebrand> damn, i cannot spell today
<A|exander> you just did.
<firebrand> fuck you ;)

<DeuceOfHearts> So I'm thinking about buying a title...
<DeuceOfHearts> Should I be an Earl or a Duke?
<DeuceOfHearts> I know... maybe a Marquis?
<mistaelitez> Well, I dunno.... do you scroll down the street?

<dbaker> Whoever thinks rc5-64 will be cracked in 50 years is
an idiot.
<dbaker> It'll be cracked before the end of 1998.

<revision> in biochem class today, and our teacher, has the
hugest fastest ass ever, massive fat ass right.
<revision> so hes writing on the board, and moving as he goes,
when all of a sudden *WHACK*. he turned around too fast and
his FAT ass hit the corner of his desk reall really hard.
<revision> lol drops to the ground for like 30 seconds while
clutching his rump, then gets up and runs out, blubbering all
the way.
<revision> i have never laughed so hard at someone elses
expense.

<Haydn> i remember a bird got into our house, it flew into the
mirror, just befor it hit the mirror, it tried to dodge its
reflection

<d-dog> know any thing that stops acne oh great kurty
<kurty> uh yeah
<kurty> finishing puberty

<Kube> lots of girls like me
<Kube> well
<Kube> one

<tito> my boss has the lisp thing going on
<tito> but nobody is sure if he's gay or not :|
<hardlined> lithps are cool.
<hardlined> they thound thuper.
<DaggerIRC> grab his ass, ull figure it out by his facial
reaction
<DaggerIRC> or erectile..
<hardlined> Mental note, learn from Dagger's mistakes.

<Random> Lesbionic? What's that? The six-million-dollar gay
woman?

<tito> asl
<czechreck> 13/hermaphrodite/locked in a basement so I can't
polute humanitys gene pool

(tactics) i wish i just had someone to give me a hand job once
in a while
(tactics) im thinking about renting one of those little
monkeys from the disabled peoples shelter
[BlackDragon] EW!
(tactics) im kidding :P
(tactics) their hands aren't big enough

<reflexive> WHAT'S COOL ABOUT THIS JOB
<reflexive> IS THAT I GET ALL THE COFFEE I WANT.
<reflexive> ehehehehhehehe.
<|reptile|> coffee blackens your teeth, taints your breath,
and thrashes your nerves.
<reflexive> ...where's the downside?