bash.org archive

<The_Defiance> who cares... i mean really, illiterate people
on a text based chat program would be almost as bizarre as a
blind optician
<My3blka> Def, it's commonplace, it's called AOL

<JustAGirl> did i miss something here?
<KArmA-> were you sleeping?
<KArmA-> is your ass sore?
<JustAGirl> no on both counts
ð LabMonkey hides the vacuum hose
<KArmA-> then no

<myles> i wonder if i talk to my marijuana it will make it
grow faster

<Xal> how come people from foreign countries find it apt to
use every single fucking smiley on msn?
<Puck> XD
<Puck> Because, Xaleth
<Puck> They find it so amusing :O
<Xal> "My father just beat me with a stick (h):D
<Puck> o_o
<Xal> Today, I got a hysterectimony. 8D :> :|
<Selene> XD XD
<Covered> xD

<Slant> The problem with having gone this long without
whacking
<Slant> is that I have no quality pr0n in which to celebrate
the occasion
<Slant> that now I can whack
<Slant> and thus I feel the "moment" isn't right

<Swap_File> explosives + Lan party + flare gun = broken
toilet, and report of "fireworks display" on the police radio

RoninChaos: She's like "I tried on this dress, and I looked
like a bride". WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CRY ABOUT THAT?!
RoninChaos: I don't cry when I put on a tux.
RokChik: lol, she cried b/c she wants TO BE a bride
RoninChaos: she's supposed to be getting married
RoninChaos: And she wants me to relate or some shit. I can't
do that.
RoninChaos: Like I said, when I put on a tux, I don't think
"oh dear god, this is what I'll look like when I get married!"
and then start fanning myself.
RoninChaos: Oh fuck, now she's talking about how nice the
sleeves are. "Aren't they nice? They're so great". THEY'RE
FUCKING SLEEVES!RoninChaos: I mean, god damn! WTF does she
want from me!?
RoninChaos: Okay, I think that gun is around here somewhere...

<Misteroo>  I'M PART ITALIAN. MAMA MIA, I GUNA YOU DOWN
<Misteroo>  YES I WILL! THEN I WILL DRAW A STILL LIFE OF THE
SPAGHETTI WHICH I EAT VERY OFTEN
<winterwinstar> draw a bunch of pirahnna plants and green
pipes
<Misteroo>  WINTER THAT IS OFFENSIVE I LIVED IN THE MUSHROOM
KINGDOM THERE WEREN'T THAT MANY PIPES :{

[|313|GTSR] i just rememberd i have test tomarrow
[|313|GTSR] i hate HS
(rAzor) You'd better pray it's not a spelling test. :

<cORBIT> when i sneeze it sounds like a kung fu movie

<Luggage_> ban him for a day, let him know he was a dick
<Luggage_> i can't see his address, i'm using stupid ol' mirc
<SixOfFive> IRBMe you got it, or want me to?
<IRBMe> let Luggage_
<IRBMe> *!*@151.196.185.148
*** X sets mode +b *!*@151.196.185.148 for #VB
*** Luggage_ was kicked by X from #VB :Reason ((Luggage)
Intentional Flooding, 2 Day "Time Out")
<IRBMe> lol
<IRBMe> gullible fool
*** Luggage_ ([email protected])  has joined #VB
<Luggage_> nice one IRBMe
<SixOfFive> too funny hehe
<SixOfFive> Luggage_
<Luggage_> didn't even check the address
<Luggage_> if i looked, i'de have seen it was mine :)
<ThFabba> n1 @ irb
<IRBMe> I wish I could have seen Luggage_'s face though.
<Luggage_> IRBMe: it was a look of surprise and confusion,
quckly followed by a look of realization and humiliation

<pigger> y u b h8n?
<pigger> dun h8 plzkthx
<Judicator> Ewww.
<Judicator> Dalnet-speak. :/
<FDISK> Judicator: FUCK YOU.
<FDISK> Its not Dalnet!
<FDISK> You don't even joke about that shit!
<pigger> hahahha
<FDISK> Thats like telling a sweaty dude "Damn, you just get
finished raping a ten year old or something?"
<FDISK> Its THAT offensive.

[ _Bender_ ] Guys
[ _Bender_ ] I've a copy of Norton AntiVirus 2002...
[ _Bender_ ] Can I still install that this year?

<bonch> Any recommended strategies for egging a house?
<nastsmom> yes
<nastsmom> first buy some eggs

<Ironballs> State media have said the orgy at a five-star
hotel in the coastal city of Zhuhai in Guangdong province in
September involved about 400 Japanese tourists and 500 Chinese
prostitutes.
<Ironballs> talk about improving internation relations

<HOT_SAUCE> generals?
<HOT_SAUCE> yeah i have it
<HOT_SAUCE> i dunno if generals is DX9
<HOT_SAUCE> but somehow, turning up EVERYTHING to super-high
detail makes my game run faster than putting it on just high/
medium
<HOT_SAUCE> i think my video card is autistic
<HOT_SAUCE> like that kid from mercury rising

<Tie> CD-RWs are like.. virigins who never lose their
virginity no matter how much you fuck 'em

<EFX> take a banana .. cut off the top .. squeeze the banana
out gently keeping the peel intact.. get a empty toilet paper
roll .. put the peel inside of it .. warm it up in the
microwave .. and then stick your cock in it

<Razzar> Gamer dead after 86 hours of straight gaming
<Razzar> lol
<Smax> darwin awards candidate
<Razzar>  Hope he got some good frags

<Gorilla> aye. they didnt have any Dogs Bollocks in
sainsburys, so i took a customer comment's card, and expressed
my disappointment with them not stocking Dog's Bollocks on
their shelves.
<Gorilla> tey sent me back a letter saying that they do not
stock chinese delicacies. i think they thought i meant the
actual testicles.

(@[I]vo) i'd be the worst jesus ever, i'd be constantly drunk
if i could turn water into wine

<Danae> From the viewpoint of an uncorrupted Christian guy,
what would candles mean?
<paranoid> He wants sex.
<Iggles> sex.
<Danae> Danae will devirginized once married.
<paranoid> Devirginized? By the Devirginizer?
<paranoid> I don't know how you "pure" and "uncorrupt" people
work, he could be giving you candles to justify his guilt of
fantasizing about you when he beats off all his curbed
christian rage into a sweatsock late at night.

<lsd> argh
<lsd> fucking cunty sql server
<lsd> apparently my Distrubution Agent is 'suspect'
<lsd> what? it's doing covert ops for the CIA?

<golgotha> wait, how did the Mexican Pledge of Allegiance go?
<ShadowRage> we pledge alliegiance to the border, of the
united states of america

<FairchildDrumr> Damn the internet.
<FairchildDrumr> It gives you easy access to lots of great
women that are not easilly accesable.

<@djcrom> she looks like shes about to giggle, then strip
naked and wail away at her clit with a hammer in a sweaty,
bloody session of demented masturbation
<Insolence> damn that's what my mom looked like when she found
a porno in my room

* Beryllium probably should go back to coding PHP
<Beryllium> I hope my site doesn't have any wide-open gaping
back doors ...
<Beryllium> ... you know, like www.goatse.cx ...
* Beryllium runs VERY FAR AWAY
<spacefem> Beryllium: awe, that's fun though...
<Beryllium> spacefem: Which part?
<spacefem> making unsuspecting people go to goatse.cx!
<Beryllium> I did that for my GF once ...
<Beryllium> (Ex-gf ;-)

<TKD-Azmodeux> I'm embezzling all the clan funds into jerkin's
hand lotion.
<TKD-Strider> Why do you need that?
<TKD-Azmodeux> ...Yes...why indeed...

<dunce> We were doing shots of BBQ sauce at the anime con
<dunce> Granted, that BBQ sauce also had vodka in it
<dunce> And I hadn't eaten for 2 days
<Nd> Weren't you there to like... er, what did you do there?
<dunce> I was there to drink
<dunce> And have fun with half naked girls
<dunce> What... you think I give a shit about that anime
stuff? :P
<dunce> Didn't actually see any anime while I was there
<dunce> I mean, I can watch it at home, didn't see what the
big deal was

<Volt9000> .. WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FLOPPY DISK DRIVE NOT WORK
<Volt9000> oh wait nm
<Volt9000> there's no disk in it

[][ceman] I get mine from the fact that for the first 2 weeks
of playing CS I didnt; know you could buy rifles
[][ceman] I thought they were scattered on the ground and that
people kept picking them up before me

<MeatEating> why in the name of fuck are we talking about Star
Trek?
<MeatEating> I think I'll leave again temporarily
<Uncle_Matt> Or you could leave temporally, in a way pleasing
to us Trekkies.

<UmbraSG> Second, you are jealous of my 2" penis?
<Ibuki> wtf
<Ibuki> 2 inches is not a penis
<Ibuki> it's a large clit

<@_uaioe> BITE THE PILLOW, KID... ITS GOIN' IN DRY!

<jeff> ok
<jeff> some dumb russian old lady asked me today where the
exit was at work
<jeff> how did she get in the store in the first place

mike_afe > [John's dad is sick of waiting. His son has been in
'that bloody bathroom' for nearly two hours. Finally, his
temper snaps; he kicks down the door to discover his son
knealing infront of the 68000 data manual.]
mike_afe > "Ah! Shut the door dad!"

(phoenix30) napster is taking filenames and putting them all
in reverse order
(Pioneer-) prolly some stoopid polish version

<felix> we're gonna start a band called "rsync", right?
<felix> OH BABY YOUR FILES ARE CHANGING BUT NO
MATTER HOW HARD I TRY I CAN'T KEEP UP, SO I'M REARRANGING AND
TRYING CVSUP, BUT IT'S JUST NO GOOD.  SO I SIT DOWN AND
THINK....
THEN YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME AND GIVE ME RSYNC

<Kamz-History-X> where do bad folks go when they die?
<Lid> into politics.

<Gerrard> w00r
<Gerrard> ...w00t
<Gerrard> Crap, I might've started an internet trend for
spelling "whore"

<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for
'01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual
factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin
limp?

<Hiro> I go to get a nectarine to eat
<Hiro> I discover all twelve have melted and merged together
into a large fluffy animal
<Hiro> It tried to eat me! <=O

* Argent- changes topic to '<beth> IRN has visions of me on my
knees, cock in hand, looking up with huge brown eyes, saying
"m-mister.. are you sure this is right?"'

<lobyaway> i need a girlfriend.
<sublmnl> its overrated
<sunrinse> girlfriends are great for cooking dinner and
sticking your dick in
<sublmnl> i've got money and a hand

FuzzGod5: The next time someone asks me to write a java
program that runs over a network connection, I'm going to
print out an entire ream of paper with "try/catch" blocks,
crush their heads with it, then jump on their corpse and shout
"WRYYYYYYYYYYYY!" triumphantly.

[@Archmage_Anasyn]: FUCKING HELL MICROSOFT ARE GAY
[+Mr_Day]: Can a company be gay?
[+Mr_Day]: Will it only sleep with other monopolies?

<RichiH> you could always use netbsd if you want maximum
security
<RichiH> ppl are gonna nmap you and see that it is a netbsd
box
<RichiH> so they will think "that's a propped-up toaster
anyway, no use hacking it" and you are safe

<aux_> i got gigs like i got ladies
<c0al> ? ur hard drive crashed/
<c0al> ??

<evilroot> "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft
Promotional Ad
<evilroot> "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler
<Madiarin> evilroot: That's horrible.
<|-Shin-|> Is it a TV ad or a banner or what?
<Beanoo> erk .. bill 'adolf' gates
<evilroot> |-Shin-|:  not sure
<|-Shin-|> aw.
* |-Shin-| was hoping to get a link out of it
<evilroot> One World. One Web. One Program.
<evilroot> Microsoft advertisement, 1997
<dafatdude> thats M$ in a nutshell
<|-Shin-|> Heh, looks like you're not the only one to have
that opinion. I just did a google search on it
* Madiarin was searching altavista in the futile attempt to
see if anyone could verify the MS part of the quote.

<Tylendel> I have kitty pictures.
<Seeth_There> I have genital crabs.
<Seeth_There> Advantage: Seeth.

<Dragon-Beast> Not being a genius doesn't mean I would be a
dumbass.
<Frozen-Solid> in your case it does
<Dragon-Beast> My case?
<Dragon-Beast> Why would it be my case?
<Frozen-Solid> because you are a dumbass

<@sumppi> "A consultant is a man who knows 99 ways to make
love but doesn't know any women"

<graeme123> i dont understand
<graeme123> be more pacific

<pantherqs> yeah
<pantherqs> so
<pantherqs> i got raided
<pantherqs> mad leet.
<Thazul> as in raid0, or as in swat?
<pantherqs> as in
<pantherqs> my shop got raided. geek.

<Hammy> my forehead is flakey
<Nastard> must be peeling from sunburn
<Nastard> did you open a window recently?

<rawb-> Hey nyisles
<rawb-> Wat doez your nick mean?
<nyisles> it means Niles
<rawb-> nile, like that ocean?

<Wehrwolf> From CNN: "Sci Tech / Featured Sections : Is VHS
obsolete?"
<SD-Crono> this is a followup to thier Future of Gaming E3
2002 report with a Dreamcast picture ... nice ^^
<Wehrwolf> Maybe their sci-tech guy is some 90 year old who
lives in the woods

<Tancients> "I must rescue the bunny and feed her the daily
amount of carrots!"
* Tancients encounters Serajadeyn!  *Screen spins and boss
music starts playing*
* Serajadeyn dresses his stolen bunny in harem outfits and has
her lavishing in comforts in the top of the tower. .
.surrounded by silks and burning braizers, a wine cooler type
stand next to the pillows with cold fresh carrots
<StolenBunny> XD
<Tancients> O_o
* Serajadeyn laughs at Tancients and hits him once doing quad
9 dmg
* Tancients counters the attack with long-named sword and
returns the damage twice-fold!
<Tancients> Ha!
* Serajadeyn sucks up the damage, cackles and grabs Tancients,
tossing him from the top of the tower: scripted battle; you
loose
* Tancients is glad he saved up all his extra lives for this
battle.  Regenerate ring:  God powers applied!
* Tancients casts Ultima ultimate imprisonment; customization:
1 prison cell for Serajadeyn.
* Serajadeyn taunts the would-be hero with a booming, evil
voice; "YOU SHALL NEVAR RESCUE TEH BUNNY" (unfortunately it
was the t/l's day off and some grad student filled in the
script over the japanese taunts
* Tancients strikes at Serajadeyn with his long-named sword. 
It shatters.  A stagehand quickly runs a new replacement for
him.
<Serajadeyn> @_o;
<Tancients> :P
<Tancients> What can I say, the quality of props seems to be
decreasing with budget cuts.

* MadHatter is back from: Rebooting!
<^enex^> do you feel refreshed

<#hack/t0c> [gothgrrl([email protected])] im not
coming.
<#hack/t0c> damn
<#hack/t0c> i have lame netsex skillz

** ragum sets mode: +b *!*@Baseball.conversation
<mrclean> guerrero is the best hitter in baseball
<ragum> excuse me
<ragum> didn't I just ban baseball talk?
<ragum> I could've sworn I did
*** HighChief sets mode: +b *!*@fat.ass.chicks
<HighChief> Didn't I just ban all american females?
<HighChief> I could have sworn i did
<Atlantic`> ROFL

<DilleMMa> im off to maccas now
<DilleMMa> any requests?:)
<Nelyx> some motivation with a side order of dignity
<DilleMMa> and a large compassion
<Nelyx> and no, i would not like fries with that
<DilleMMa> i should get myself a "medium why do i even bother"
<DilleMMa> toodles
<Nelyx> they stopped serving those last year

<torch> is a 19" monitor big enough to run 1600x1200, or
should i get a 21"?
<qball> 1600x1200 is kinda tight on the 19
<qball> actually it's very tight
<Matt97GT> like 9 y/o tight?
<ReeferCpe> male or female?

<kpearsall> AOL_MAN IN FULL EFFEKT BOYEEEZ
<kpearsall> DIE J00 ST00PID ASSFUX PONY NUGGET AUTOGREETS
CLITJUICE ASS DOG LICKER
<austin> RAINBOW LAZER BEAMZ FR0M DE EYEZ
<cj_> je  5uS <hr|  5  7
<cj_> | a|\/| TE|-| <o[]l /\  0L Du|)E I c@n leEtifY e\/  3RY 
7HINg
<pexor> |-|0|`/ 5|-|17 1 r|_||3
<pexor> 819 ¢0>< p|z
<toast> cj_: burritos today?
<pexor> |)4|\|¢1|\|9 ¢0¢|<5 p|z
* Added *!*@* to ignore list
<kinzillah`> sweet, sweet, silence

<ZondrZout> You sloppy ASP coders!
<Xtreee> ZondrZout, I am @ the stage where I am happy when my
code works :)
<ZondrZout> My boss is at the stage where he's happy when I
work

<Liza> but.. plis.. tell to everybody that in argentina we
live.. with human rigths broken i dont know how to express
because my english is not so good help us!
<divdiv> stop complaining, you get adsl, I'd gladly give up
our human rights for adsl

<Saty> man
<Saty> active directory is to system resources
<Saty> what joseph stalin was to human rights

<KingJehu> you poeple that had part in the steal of this room
should be down right shamed and all you that agree with it
should be shamed as well, your not of Christ, your evil of the
devil... if this room had problems "which it did" then all you
had to do is not come here simple as that!!! YOUR OF THE WORLD
though so you cant see hwat this does to the shake of the name
of Christ!! the athiest are having a field day... hope you are
proud!!!
<ircbuddy> Stop whining.

<WinX> fat girls that claim to be bi might as well just come
out and say "i'm horribly desperate for play."