bash.org archive

<Mystery> singapore is nice
<_eight> pussy is so cheap there.
<Mystery> there aren't any hookers in singapore
<Mystery> you have to cross the border to malaysia for htat
<_eight> mystery, you just been hanging out in the wrong
singaporean cemeteries.

<Cornell> damn I wish I could have gone to my friends summer
camp.. 9 guys my age, 18 girls, and another 18 or so a year
younger
<Cornell> *18 or so girls
<Beoulve> Dude.
<Beoulve> You'd still be a virgin in the end.
<Cornell> most likely.
<Cornell> but still, you knever know, and think of all the
possibilities...
<Tarl> Yeah..
<Beoulve> It's possible that you'd die.
<Beoulve> Horribly.
<Tarl> "Hey <Insert cornellmun's name here>! Could you go to
the convienience store and pick up some more condoms for us?
Thanks!"

[@Swiftar]: 1-800-Flowers just sent me the "I Fucked Your
Sister, I'm Sorry" deal. Buy 24 roses get 24 free.

* EddieCoon mashes his hands against the keyboard idly.
<EddieCoon> Wow! What're the chances that that would come out
from mashing my hands against the keyboard!

<Robertuybrush> HELLOW, I'M ROBERTUYBRUSH THREEPWOOD!
<Robertuybrush> I JUST WANT TO BE A PIRATE
<FortKeeper> To become a pirate, turn off CAPS-LOCK

<TDS> THAT MAKE NO SENSE ANYWAY. IF 50 % OF AMERICANS ARE
BELOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE, HOW CAN IT BE AVERAGE?
<SneakAtack> TDS is an idiot. half the people are below the
average and half the people are above the average. that's why
it's an average.
<Moik> >_< TDS makes the upper half possible.
<Bob_Dole> ROFL @ Moik
<SneakAtack> hehee
<SneakAtack> I feel almost bad. I should have waited for more
people to reply and then agreed with TDS.
<TDS> that was a momentary lapse. my iq has been found to be
163.
<FFVI> You forgot a decmial point, TDS
<SneakAtack> TDS: 163 with a mean of 500?

<Guilty> <v-ger> i like masturbating with a jar of peanut
butter and leaving the big cylindrical hole in it so the next
person has a REALLY good idea what i did
<Guilty> Approve Kill Nothing
<logik_> kill
<Mdar> kill
<gfjgfjgfj> what does nothing do?
<Mdar> is that a rhetorical question?

<Maastonakki> we are sending hamburgers to space now
<Maastonakki> not sure if I want to live on this planet
anymore
<@r4w> especially if all the burgers are in space!

<Sin> there must be a better way to get money then to actulyl
get a job

Fordrin: The girl to guy ratio in Austin is 5 to 1
Fordrin: I bet you're wondering, why aren't you getting laid?
Fordrin: Well, my friend, it's quite simple.
Fordrin: The truth of the matter is, I am.
Fordrin: I walk outside, and say, "Hey sexy little whore of
babylon, I've been on 3 #1 TWL teams..."
Fordrin: And the college girls, in their drunken stupor say,
"What?"
Fordrin: And I say, "So basically, what you're getting at is,
you want my nuts?"
Fordrin: And they stare blankly for a moment...
Fordrin: And then in their state of confusion, I take full
advantage of them.

<GokuSSJ4> My first car was free
<Genome> GokuSSJ4 u stole it?!!
<GokuSSJ4> Nah my parents gave it to me
<GokuSSJ4> lol
<Genome> they stole it???

<HoaX|ZzZz> lol my mom is wrapping xmas presents listening to
hard trance
<HoaX|ZzZz> i was like "mom wtf are you doing"
<checkered> hahaha too funny
<HoaX|ZzZz> she's like "it helps me zone out so i dont
actually realize im wrapping presents, its like a drug"
<Scire> "hey mom, it's actually better ON drugs... want some?"

(CitizenC): I spilled my ashtray all over my computer earlier
today.
(CitizenC): Son of a bitch.
(CitizenC): Took forever to clean up.
(CitizenC): At least I don't have to empty my ashtray now.

<@dR¦> gn
<@AN¦FunG> nn
<@dR¦> nn ?
<@AN¦FunG> night night
<@dR¦> my granny used to say that
<@dR¦> are u 86 with blue hair ?
<@dR¦> :P
<@AN¦FunG> well, you are what you eat

*** Covaro is now known as Cov-poopie
<Cov-poopie> got shit to do

<Jean> I typed in the tracert mail.yahoo.com now what
<Tabby_Tech> hit enter
<Jean> there is no enter button
<Tabby_Tech> on your keyboard

<kdoom> Duke: you need a hobby
<DukeNukem> kdoom: like beastiality?
<kdoom> perfect

mr_eh: what looks better on a degree
mr_eh: Pasquale Mosso
mr_eh: Pasquale J Mosso
mr_eh: Pasquale Joseph Mosso
mr_eh: i think just the J
acquacow: thats your name?
acquacow: no wonder people hate you
mr_eh: =(

<KingEdgar0> Woke up 30 minutes later with my left hand on my
dick and my right hand on the mouse

<TomGreen> hehe
<TomGreen> [17:27] <Ergot> r u really tom green?
<TomGreen> [17:27] <Ergot> cuz i am like a huuuuge fan!

<Mikado`> dammit
<Mikado`> I misspelled a l33t w3rd
<^cell^> u have brought shame to the l33t community

*** _Kenny ([email protected]) has left #
cracking4newbies
*** _Kenny ([email protected]) has joined #
cracking4newbies
<_Kenny> who kicked me

DasKrav: What do gay horses eat?
DasKrav: *limp wrist wave* Hey

<KennyUnaeze> My dad useto beat the hell outta me
<Coco13> Unfortunatley, he stoppped

* moktod attempts to disapear from work, like a fart in the
wind
<moktod> fuck, i think they smelled me, my boss is coming over
<moktod> brb
* moktod hides under desk

<myst> nah, snow is cool.
<Joshua> if you're a bear.
<myst> skiing, snowboarding, etc.
<myst> just have to dress for it
<Joshua> that's how i broke my arm for the first time
<Joshua> snowboarding
<myst> oh ouch
<Joshua> or rather, falling down a hill because you SUCK at
snowboarding

<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian
fellow go to get a handjob around here?
<ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm
<CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12?
<CoverSlide> because you could become catholic

<Goodlookinguy17> if anyone wants to cyber with a hot 17 year
old male, message me
<Owaru> if anyone wants to hear desperate pleas of attention
by a decrepit 17 year old weirdo, msg me!
<Owaru> i'll make you sound like you're normal!

<D3v1in^jr> i learned just how hardcore goth girls can be last
night
<D3v1in^jr> got with this girl sarah...her clit was painted
dark purple

<Poltergeist21> I want to fuck the olsen twins right in the
ass!!
<Poltergeist21> Dude, my balls goin smack smack smack against
their teen asses..yum yum!1
<Charlesowns> Dude, i said that ten years ago!

<drakin> 6666666666666op''''''
<drakin> sorry, turn my back and a kitty sits on the
keyboard..
<Stokesy> fuck you all you fucking fuckers
<Stokesy> sorry, that was my parrot
<drakin> isnt it spelt torrettes..

<Fryboy> can't hardly wait, party of 5 etc
<ambr> i thought you were taking about serial cable
compression there... parity of 5

<RichiH> yay
<RichiH> my glasses have arrived
<RichiH> this will give me at least 13 geek points

Iride4mosh » no doing gay stuff while im gone ya hear
polkaisrad » dont wanna miss out huh?
Iride4mosh » shut up man...

<Shiv_TXS> are you having phone sex or something?
<Twiztid> no
<Twiztid> some girl answered

<jomamaugly14> i cant get on irc!@!!!
<jomamaugly14> im banned
<Xenon> you *are* on irc !!!

<sharquedo> I'm a zombie, braiiinnnssssss
<DemonHeart> I'm homeless, chaaannnggeeeee

<Joel> i like legos but the red ones give me heart burn...

* RE_away just taped himself waving a broomstick and changed
it into a lightsaber with the help of Video Editing Software
<RE_away> How productive
<RE_away> Now to do the same thing with my penis

Sugarhigh0307: i spent 9 months of my life tryin 2 get out of
a pussy and the rest of it tryin 2 get back in
Sugarhigh0307: thats what this kid just said to me

<Lazzay> PREPARE ALL ASSES FOR IMMEDIATE ENTRY

<Mac> Hi I'm a mac
<PC> And I'm a PC
<Mac> So what you doing PC?
<PC> Upgrading my Graphics card, RAM and Processor.
<Mac> Oh.... Ummmm
<PC> Don't you just love a good upgrade!
<Mac> Well actually, I can't. If you want to upgrade you'll
have to buy a new system.......

<Cthulhuberries> the only tests I get right are pregnancy
tests :P

<monami> hm, these girls sure are fat
<QJ> where where?
<monami> can you look at pictures of fat naked girls wherever
you are?
<QJ> yes
<QJ> it's in my contract

<largo`> my client thought an swf extension stood for "single
white female"

<Satrina> and no, that's my friend Marissa The Nympho Elf :P
<Satrina> we put the Ho in Nympho

Cynicisity: My best friend said that going to Purdue is like
having unprotected sex; it feels great to get in, but you're
pissed that you came.

<The Monkey>: But my ex girlfriend's dad had one redeeming
feature, his wallet
<The Monkey>: More capacious than an elephant's scrotum but
just as difficult to get your hands on

<aRse> dudes.. i'm not eating asparagus again for a while.. i
just pissed green

<asvisn> there is no /leave
*** asvisn has left #quickbasic

<baguette> dude, my grandmother's sexier than your grandmother

:: join #bitchx :: desane
([email protected])
:: mode #bitchx :: (+b *!*@*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*) by pheret
:: kick #bitchx :: pheret kicked desane (banned: If you match
this, you have a lame host.)

<daniel_> i dont wanna use my brain to think
<Pntklr> i prefer to use my penis
<evilmorty> the last time i tried that i got a kid

<mikezilla> say that again threeboy
<mikezilla> i'll do better
<mikezilla> i promise
<Threeboy> say what?
<mikezilla> that thing about having power
<mikezilla> i will comeback this time
<Threeboy> naw.
<mikezilla> and you'll be rubbing your butt
<mikezilla> from the pain
<Threeboy> last time i checked, we were on IRC.
<Threeboy> and i dont have my force feedback pants on today

<Trev-MUN> AND WHY ARE THERE TWO BEIGES IN HERE
<BeigeGoo> Because I'm on a different computer.
* E_Megas is tempted to kick the idle Beige just for fun.
* Trev-MUN watches Beige run over to the other computer to
show he's not idle.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Nope, I'm not idle! *tmp tmp tmp*
<BeigeGoo> Not idle either!
<BeigeGoo> Megas, that would be wrong.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> Are you idle? *tmp tmp tmp* <BeigeGoo>
Nope. :(
<Beige> I agree.
<Trev-MUN> <Beige> We're not idle, Megas. *tmp tmp tmp*
<BeigeGoo> Yes. :(
<Trev-MUN> * Beige was kicked by E_Megas (LACEYDOOM!
HAHAHAHAHAHAA)
<Trev-MUN> <BeigeGoo> ... >(
<BeigeGoo> Thanks for the re-enactment.
<Trev-MUN> Anytime.

<p0m> AGDN: My father's always calling me to explain the
toolbar on Word.
<p0m> Its rediculous.
<p0m> "Whats this button do?" "I Don't fucking know! CLIIIIICK
IT!"

<Koel> imagine a mother dick feeding a whole nest of chirping
baby dicks

* Gygaxis breaks a carrier pigeon in half and removes a
cryptic message from inside, along with his lucky lotto
numbers

<Mand> If I had to be an x-men, i'd be Gambit.
<Ithaqua> I thought you WERE an ex-man.

* Joins: DanVanNinja
<beej> jesus christ
<beej> i need to get laid
<beej> i looked at dan's name and saw "DanVaGina"

equate976: omg
equate976: never
equate976: ever
equate976: no matter what
equate976: ever
equate976: use the soap and washcloth method
equate976: it feels like i jus beat it with some fiberglass
insulation

<Guilty> I was in this half-sleep exhausted haze
<Guilty> I was talking to Jesus
<Guilty> In my delusions
<c-rOCK> the guy who mows your lawn?

<dingo> so i was talking to k-ron on the phone, telling him
about that cop talking shit aobut 'distribution', and he says
'bullshit'!
<dingo> and in the background i hear his sister bitching at
him for swearing
<dingo> so he says "shut up, mom says 'shit' all the time!"
<dingo> and her retort is: 'yeah, but you said the WHOLE word!
'

<AnTrAaXx> wb Dark
<Dark|Lord> wow.. I've been disconnected for 9 hours, and
you've been here long enough to gimme wb? :)

<LaPengo> .8ball Am I the hotz?
<PengoBot> <<LaPengo>>  : Definitely LaPengo...
<Bison> .8ball Was that rigged?
<PengoBot> <<Bison >>  : Most likely!

<daenonok> you gotta be like
<daenonok> "OW!!! PENIS CRAMP!! owie owie owie"
<daenonok> then ask her to rub it for you :P

<Bane> they PROMISED they'd call me
<Xzibit-A> bunch of fucken users
<Bane> that's what i say
<Bane> i'm nothing but two holes and two hands to them
<Bane> *sob*
<Bane> just a cum receptacle

*** CloneMar has joined #nevernomore
<Mark> AHAHAHAHEHAH!
<CloneMar> I have beat the system!
<Mark> Cloned myself when the rules says no ;P
<CloneMar> your dead sexy Mark
*** Mark has quit IRC (G-Lined)
*** CloneMar has quit IRC (G-Lined)
<DaBeast> Ah, the system works!

<TittySmasher> Do you think if you were having sex with a
chick, and had a condom on and lightning struck you, the
condom would melt and the chick would shit/piss melted
plastic?
<rTenshi> uhh, you'd die man.
<TittySmasher> ... oh