#239434 + (1647)
<Prtygrrl> what does OMG mean?
<gi> Oh my god.
<Prtygrrl> well escuse me for being a little newbie, mr.
oh-im-so-1337.
<gi> What?
<Prtygrrl> you know, you dont have to be so mean. i hope you
fall and hurt yourself reallyreally bad.
#188680 + (1647)
tigeraid: another baby?
tigeraid: jesus christ lady it's a vagina, not a clown car
#575675 + (1647)
< pin> so on saturday i was at a bar
< pin> telling a friend about how i played world of warcraft
that day
< pin> and this girl was like.. are you talking about world of
warcraft?
< pin> then i found out she played alliance and stopped
talking to her
< pin> dumb cunt
#629927 + (1646)
Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great.
Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no
financial trouble
Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and
high fi stero systems
Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make
a good profit from
Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the
lovely woman of my dreams...
Vfirthd: yeah...someday...
GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you?
Vfirthd: Burger King
#418422 + (1646)
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber?
<shiroi>sure
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your
pants
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>..
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello?
<shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool.
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this
<shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl
in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life.
<shiroi> You're probably not even a girl.
AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit)
<shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(
#306831 + (1645)
<Toggan> Hot Threesome looking for 2 more.... send /msg
#648232 + (1645)
<Jlax> wow
<Jlax> i just opened microsoft word
<Jlax> apperently, i only had the trial version
<Jlax> and it expired yesterday
<Jlax> so i read the message it gave me
<Jlax> "some features may become unavailable"
<Jlax> then i discovered what some of those features were:
<Jlax> 1.
<Jlax> TYPING
<Jlax> 2.
<Jlax> DOCUMENT VIEWING
#428662 + (1644)
(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you
for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me
wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I
could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out
so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm
desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue
around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more
left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm
not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#389483 + (1643)
<TomTheBomb> what the most racist thing in the world?
<|Snaker|> erm
<|Snaker|> most racist thing in the world?
<TomTheBomb> a sprinkler
<|Snaker|> ..
<HongKongKilla|TMNT> lol?
<TomTheBomb> they go chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink SPIC
nigganigganigganigganigga
#43604 + (1643)
<Dan|Out>   my cat is using the toilet methinks
<ph`>   cool
<ph`>   make a video
<ph`>   with some close ups
<Reverend_Julian>   you'll make money
<SoM>   I need to take a shower
<ph`>   cool
<ph`>   make a video
<ph`>   with  some close ups
<Reverend_Julian>   you'll make money
#877811 + (1642)
<Spiff-Johnson> So i bought a shirt from express men.. does
that make me gay?
<cool4dude> no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you
gay
<cool4dude> the shirt just makes you a stereotype
#638398 + (1642)
<blehnus>In my experiece, any attempt to make any system idiot
proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot
#233731 + (1641)
<EinHander MK II> wtf... how did my cat get INSIDE my computer
case...
#10724 + (1640)
TX Luder : dude
TX Luder : i just had a genius idea
TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes
TX Luder : just think of it man
TX Luder : your sucking on ice
TX Luder : then WHAM
TX Luder : m&m
#722585 + (1640)
<NerdyScientist7> Okay, I'm taking a survey, want to be in it?
<bigone> sure
<NerdyScientist7> Here's the question: How stupid are you?
<bigone> what do u mean
<NerdyScientist7> Thanks for your input.
#626676 + (1640)
ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it
because all my friends have it and I can't share files
otherwise
ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?
#217770 + (1639)
<DoesNotExist> HAHAHAH. HAMLET THE TEXT ADVENTURE.
<doughnut> DUDE.
<Zinger> You have two options.
<Zinger> 1) Be.
<Zinger> 2) Not be.
<doughnut> hahahaha
<Gohanmastaflex> haha
#4738 + (1638)
* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data
[Synoptica] fuck
[Synoptica] no i dont
* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data's heads together
#13923 + (1638)
<djamok> wb justin
<JFlex> wb yourself, mother fucker.
<JFlex> Oh, welcome back, I get it.
#598987 + (1638)
<Sceptic> I am not going to argue mideast history and politics
here. I have better, more useful things to do--such as
draining the ocean with a spoon.
<David> Just out of interest, where will you be putting the
water?
#416654 + (1638)
(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience
with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so
much as a handshake, and I have no idea why.
(oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not
fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't
understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating.
(@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door
#680262 + (1638)
<roddyboy> man it sucks...
<roddyboy> phone got stolen tonight :(
<drjazz> call someone who cares
<drjazz> oh wait
#562344 + (1637)
<DarthFoamy> Ah, unstable connections
<DarthFoamy> How do I despise thee?
<DarthFoamy> Let me count the ways!
<DarthFoamy> 1
<DarthFoamy> 2
* DarthFoamy has quit IRC (Quit: Ping timeout)
#747246 + (1637)
<nyetwerk> why is it that they always make the stupidest
person on a project team be the leader?
<DocRadium> what are you in charge of now?
#515496 + (1636)
<Knighted_> goddammit
<Knighted_> why can't anything i think of turn out right?
<Knighted_> listerine + foot odour smells worse than just
feet, and now my shoes are technically flammable
#9304 + (1636)
<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white
substance.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> what does it smell like?
<jre> Like semen
<Zeluth> you have anthrax
<jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of
milky-white liquid.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making?
<jre> Terrible.
<Zeluth> its anthrax
<jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of
small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch
makes.  Is it anthrax?
<Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra
<jre> Done, but I can't get it out now.
<Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax
<jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white
powder.  An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin
now" and that "Allah is great".  Is it anthrax?
<^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
#603907 + (1636)
<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey
<kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button
#572179 + (1635)
<Rjx> so guys
<Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow
<Rjx> as cheap as possible
<GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it
<Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it
<Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore
#74164 + (1635)
<ziz> i wrote a haiku
<ziz> but it is not very good
<ziz> so i won't share it
<Nastard> i wrote one myself
<Nastard> it is much better than yours
<Nastard> i should write some more
#335219 + (1635)
<caca_lialia> my brother was wanking in front of computer.
<devil> how do you know?:)
<caca_lialia> the mouse is on the left side...
#36 + (1635)
<McMoo> wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where
we could connect to a server and chat with each other in
channels we create?
#140652 + (1634)
<Unleaded> I did something really geeky just now
<Ex0duz> watched star trek ?
<Unleaded> I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the
bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the
time... :/
#703708 + (1633)
<zealo> I need sleep....
<zealo> I went to take a crap and took off my shirt instead of
my pants
<zealo> I actually sat down before i realised what was wrong
#1619 + (1632)
<Seros> fuck
<Seros> we were at 7-11
<Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?"
<Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the
meaning of this.. wtf?"
<Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization.  >:O
#284658 + (1631)
Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-
[sin(xy)/2.362x].)
#606775 + (1631)
<Sarah> lol, i was at a speech and debate tournament in 9th
grade at a public high school in albuquerque.  the counselor's
office was right next to the culinary arts office.  on the
counselor's office window, there was a poster that said
"Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem" and on
the culinary arts window there was a poster that read: "Use
the right knife"
#622896 + (1630)
<PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing
chess?
<PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me
<PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row
<PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has,
"KILLING SPREE!@!!!"
#327 + (1630)
<persia> my favorite country song is "i fucked my horse on a
sunday morning"
<migg> my fave country song is "Its midnight in montana, and i
cant get my dick out of this cow"
*** You were kicked by sandk1ng (i like the song "i kicked my
friend for makin fun of music i listen to")
#58 + (1629)
<disconect> Tekken and sex both give my hand a cramp if I do
it for too long, though...
#762169 + (1629)
SynAdam: whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall?
Kato: ...what?
SynAdam: my dick while im doing it
Kato: ....
SynAdam: get it?
Kato: what in the FUCK is wrong with you?!
#747042 + (1628)
<Stevie_Kilroy> a little s&m never hurt anyone
<Bungalow Bill> dude
<Bungalow Bill> Yes it did.
#121498 + (1626)
<jackie> OMG i got an A in reading!!!
<jackie> oh wait...damn it nvm...
<jackie> i read my report card wrong :/
#540426 + (1626)
xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked
out of his car
#398433 + (1626)
<arkaneknight> I think my sister went to bed
<arkaneknight> brb
<Sio> Ew.
#1454 + (1625)
<Thes2K> OK, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT OF CONTEXT, BUT DOES
ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND PICTURE OF NAKED BLACK MALES?
#103 + (1625)
<matt`> it makes you get a horrible disease
<matt`> called "babies"
#516497 + (1623)
<Linforcer> heh, I just told m girfriend I like my women like
I like I like my programming
<MuStR>     logical?
<Linforcer> C++
<mkde>      LOL
<MuStR>     rofl are you serious?
#334887 + (1620)
atty: my face hurts
Chester: why is that
atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist
atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and
took one
atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US
MEN
atty: so she slapped me
Chester: dumbass
#630789 + (1620)
Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic
attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.
#56044 + (1620)
DasKrav: Know what I hate?
DasKrav: Repeating myself.
Destroy_Boy2000: What?
DasKrav: I said I hate repeating myself
Destroy_Boy2000: Huh?
DasKrav: I SAID I HATE-
DasKrav: Oh wait
DasKrav: YOU FUCKING QUEEF
#921395 + (1619)
<Aussie> I was listening to some girls talking in a video
store.
<Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her
learners permit because she had used both hands to change
gears.
#763160 + (1619)
<Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday
<Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV
jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very
loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!"
<Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are
nerds
<Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams
"WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION"
<Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying
#153172 + (1619)
RogueRed1: you dumb
RogueRed1: your*
Xaimus: NOT MUCH BETTER
#483136 + (1618)
<tag0y> A UNIX saleslady, Lenore,
<tag0y> Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more.
<tag0y> She found a good way
<tag0y> To combine work and play:
<tag0y> She sells C shells by the seashore.
#374313 + (1618)
jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry
perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator
comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."
#626063 + (1618)
<chuck> I just got two CDs from AOL. Two CDs in one package.
One is gold, for dial-up. The other is Silver, for Cable/DSL
broadband. They came in a box that was half gold and half
silver. The back of the box enumerates the difference between
the two available plans.
<chuck> The CDs have different features listed on their
labels.
<chuck> I diff'd them. They're identical.
<chuck> bit for bit:
<chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom
<chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
<chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom
<chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
#163333 + (1617)
<ignatios> synchronised swimming mang
<Schatten> ok
<ignatios> _o>
<Schatten> _o>
<ignatios> <o_
<paranoid> <o_
<Schatten> <o_
<ignatios> o/
<paranoid> o/
<Schatten> o/
<ignatios> <o>
<paranoid> <o>
<paranoid> ~~~~~~~~~~~<o/~~~~~~~~ HOLY SHIT I CAN'T SWIM
<ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~
<ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#2767 + (1617)
*** civicsi was kicked by Raegen (KK: go away jason)
civicsi is [email protected] *
Jason Preston
civicsi on #cars
civicsi using irc2.lightning.net Toca's Miracle
civicsi End of /WHOIS list.
*** civicsi ([email protected])
has joined #cars
<civicsi> uhhh
<civicsi> HOW DID YOU GET MY NAME?
<Tokae> we are l33t
<Darn> haha he hacked you
<KK> shutup jason
<civicsi> how did you do that?
<Tokae> you will be fuct over jason if you act out of line.
<KK> Mr Preston
<civicsi> I hope you know that I have logs of all hacking
attempts
<civicsi> and I WILL forward them to the DOJ
#426942 + (1616)
<Booster> whyd you get a mac?
<Nick> I have conqured the PC
<Nick> just wanted to try it out
<Booster> you got it cause you were bored?
<Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs"
so you cut one off
#667626 + (1616)
<Frostfyre> Alright. 5 reasons why I'm convinced that my penis
runs Linux.
<Frostfyre> 1. I can create child processes
<Frostfyre> 2. I can handle multiple users on any platform at
once.
<Frostfyre> 3. I'm VERY user friendly.
<Frostfyre> 4. I have incredible uptime.
<Frostfyre> and 5. When my system load gets too heavy, I end
up dumping my core and the system shuts down.
#11368 + (1616)
<+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!?
<@miz> nothing
<@miz> :o
#476571 + (1616)
<MacMantis> oh christ. a friend of mine just got another of
his mothers world breaking text messages.
<MacMantis> 'GDAD DIED 5AM -MUMX'
<MacMantis> I honestly do wonder what is wrong with the woman.
#565565 + (1615)
<Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> My wife demanded I take her out some
place expensive
<Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> I took her to a gas station
#163584 + (1615)
<AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America.
<AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's
time whichever family has become more American will win.
<AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son
is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on
my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
<AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
#48418 + (1615)
<Rottencrotch> h0k do u have months in holland?
<hokhokk> wtf
<hokhokk> no we only have minutes
<Rottencrotch> omg
<hokhokk> its 238472893765 today
#702568 + (1612)
<Mithandir> it's interesting how much you can tell about the
designers of a product by looking at the end result
<Mithandir> for instance I can clearly tell that whomever
thought it was a good idea to have "exit program" and "suspend
computer" buttons on a keyboard didn't have cats
#222389 + (1612)
<AcidGame> Shit!
<legozrule> What?
<AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried
playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it.
<legozrule> Then what?
<AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to
microsoft' >_<
#158342 + (1612)
<goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane?
<blah> i refuse to anwser that
<blah> im probably wrong
<goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist
#59551 + (1610)
<Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific
Rape in Alley", or something.
<Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?"
<Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED