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<Prtygrrl> what does OMG mean? <gi> Oh my god. <Prtygrrl> well escuse me for being a little newbie, mr. oh-im-so-1337. <gi> What? <Prtygrrl> you know, you dont have to be so mean. i hope you fall and hurt yourself reallyreally bad.
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tigeraid: another baby? tigeraid: jesus christ lady it's a vagina, not a clown car
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< pin> so on saturday i was at a bar < pin> telling a friend about how i played world of warcraft that day < pin> and this girl was like.. are you talking about world of warcraft? < pin> then i found out she played alliance and stopped talking to her < pin> dumb cunt
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Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great. Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no financial trouble Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and high fi stero systems Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make a good profit from Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the lovely woman of my dreams... Vfirthd: yeah...someday... GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you? Vfirthd: Burger King
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<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber? <shiroi>sure <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your pants <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>.. <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello? <shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool. <AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this <shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life. <shiroi> You're probably not even a girl. AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit) <shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(
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<Toggan> Hot Threesome looking for 2 more.... send /msg
#648232 +
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<Jlax> wow <Jlax> i just opened microsoft word <Jlax> apperently, i only had the trial version <Jlax> and it expired yesterday <Jlax> so i read the message it gave me <Jlax> "some features may become unavailable" <Jlax> then i discovered what some of those features were: <Jlax> 1. <Jlax> TYPING <Jlax> 2. <Jlax> DOCUMENT VIEWING
#428662 +
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(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this--- (*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other for long and I really shouldn't be asking you for this..... but I want it so bad don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm desperate, but your help can be very grateful!!! (*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve asking you for this but I can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there no more left, this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm not being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum? Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
#389483 +
(1643)
<TomTheBomb> what the most racist thing in the world? <|Snaker|> erm <|Snaker|> most racist thing in the world? <TomTheBomb> a sprinkler <|Snaker|> .. <HongKongKilla|TMNT> lol? <TomTheBomb> they go chinkchinkchinkchinkchinkchink SPIC nigganigganigganigganigga
#43604 +
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<Dan|Out> my cat is using the toilet methinks <ph`> cool <ph`> make a video <ph`> with some close ups <Reverend_Julian> you'll make money <SoM> I need to take a shower <ph`> cool <ph`> make a video <ph`> with some close ups <Reverend_Julian> you'll make money
#877811 +
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<Spiff-Johnson> So i bought a shirt from express men.. does that make me gay? <cool4dude> no, the fact that you have sex with men makes you gay <cool4dude> the shirt just makes you a stereotype
#638398 +
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<blehnus>In my experiece, any attempt to make any system idiot proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot
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<EinHander MK II> wtf... how did my cat get INSIDE my computer case...
#10724 +
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TX Luder : dude TX Luder : i just had a genius idea TX Luder : m&ms frozen in ice cubes TX Luder : just think of it man TX Luder : your sucking on ice TX Luder : then WHAM TX Luder : m&m
#722585 +
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<NerdyScientist7> Okay, I'm taking a survey, want to be in it? <bigone> sure <NerdyScientist7> Here's the question: How stupid are you? <bigone> what do u mean <NerdyScientist7> Thanks for your input.
#626676 +
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ShamanMumboJumbo: Dude, I hate AIM Triton but I had to get it because all my friends have it and I can't share files otherwise ViewtifulDom: Peer2Peer Pressure?
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<DoesNotExist> HAHAHAH. HAMLET THE TEXT ADVENTURE. <doughnut> DUDE. <Zinger> You have two options. <Zinger> 1) Be. <Zinger> 2) Not be. <doughnut> hahahaha <Gohanmastaflex> haha
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* Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data [Synoptica] fuck [Synoptica] no i dont * Synoptica bangs OutLore and Lord-Data's heads together
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<djamok> wb justin <JFlex> wb yourself, mother fucker. <JFlex> Oh, welcome back, I get it.
#598987 +
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<Sceptic> I am not going to argue mideast history and politics here. I have better, more useful things to do--such as draining the ocean with a spoon. <David> Just out of interest, where will you be putting the water?
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(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so much as a handshake, and I have no idea why. (oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating. (@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door
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<roddyboy> man it sucks... <roddyboy> phone got stolen tonight :( <drjazz> call someone who cares <drjazz> oh wait
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<DarthFoamy> Ah, unstable connections <DarthFoamy> How do I despise thee? <DarthFoamy> Let me count the ways! <DarthFoamy> 1 <DarthFoamy> 2 * DarthFoamy has quit IRC (Quit: Ping timeout)
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<nyetwerk> why is it that they always make the stupidest person on a project team be the leader? <DocRadium> what are you in charge of now?
#515496 +
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<Knighted_> goddammit <Knighted_> why can't anything i think of turn out right? <Knighted_> listerine + foot odour smells worse than just feet, and now my shoes are technically flammable
#9304 +
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<jre> My underwear seems to be covered with a crusty white substance. Is it anthrax? <Zeluth> what does it smell like? <jre> Like semen <Zeluth> you have anthrax <jre> The carton of milk was filled with some sort of milky-white liquid. Is it anthrax? <Zeluth> How good at you are pancake making? <jre> Terrible. <Zeluth> its anthrax <jre> I opened my hole puncher to find a large collection of small white discs, about the size of a hole a hole-punch makes. Is it anthrax? <Zeluth> try inserting the paper disc in your urethra <jre> Done, but I can't get it out now. <Zeluth> congratulations yopu just gave yourself anthrax <jre> I just received a parcel in the mail filled with a white powder. An accompanying note informed me to "take penacilin now" and that "Allah is great". Is it anthrax? <^Vulpix^> jre: NOPE IT ISN'T, IT'S FREE COCAINE
#603907 +
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<kikuichimonji> The cook book said to clean the turkey <kikuichimonji> the oven had a clean button
#572179 +
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<Rjx> so guys <Rjx> i gotta get my computer to the USA somehow <Rjx> as cheap as possible <GerbilWrk> wrap it up in a condom and swallow it <Jimmothy> put it in a condom and swallow it <Rjx> you two aren't allowed to talk anymore
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<ziz> i wrote a haiku <ziz> but it is not very good <ziz> so i won't share it <Nastard> i wrote one myself <Nastard> it is much better than yours <Nastard> i should write some more
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<caca_lialia> my brother was wanking in front of computer. <devil> how do you know?:) <caca_lialia> the mouse is on the left side...
#36 +
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<McMoo> wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where we could connect to a server and chat with each other in channels we create?
#140652 +
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<Unleaded> I did something really geeky just now <Ex0duz> watched star trek ? <Unleaded> I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the time... :/
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<zealo> I need sleep.... <zealo> I went to take a crap and took off my shirt instead of my pants <zealo> I actually sat down before i realised what was wrong
#1619 +
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<Seros> fuck <Seros> we were at 7-11 <Seros> And amanda is wearing this shirt that says "wtf?" <Seros> The indian guy that works there said "What is the meaning of this.. wtf?" <Amanda> I told him that it's a non-profit organization. >:O
#284658 +
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Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]- [sin(xy)/2.362x].)
#606775 +
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<Sarah> lol, i was at a speech and debate tournament in 9th grade at a public high school in albuquerque. the counselor's office was right next to the culinary arts office. on the counselor's office window, there was a poster that said "Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem" and on the culinary arts window there was a poster that read: "Use the right knife"
#622896 +
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<PeriSoft> did I tell you about the time we were playing chess? <PeriSoft> we're playing, and as usual she's pwning me <PeriSoft> she takes like six of my pieces in a row <PeriSoft> and then yells, in the deepest voice she has, "KILLING SPREE!@!!!"
#327 +
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<persia> my favorite country song is "i fucked my horse on a sunday morning" <migg> my fave country song is "Its midnight in montana, and i cant get my dick out of this cow" *** You were kicked by sandk1ng (i like the song "i kicked my friend for makin fun of music i listen to")
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<disconect> Tekken and sex both give my hand a cramp if I do it for too long, though...
#762169 +
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SynAdam: whats harder than nailing a baby to a wall? Kato: ...what? SynAdam: my dick while im doing it Kato: .... SynAdam: get it? Kato: what in the FUCK is wrong with you?!
#747042 +
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<Stevie_Kilroy> a little s&m never hurt anyone <Bungalow Bill> dude <Bungalow Bill> Yes it did.
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<jackie> OMG i got an A in reading!!! <jackie> oh wait...damn it nvm... <jackie> i read my report card wrong :/
#540426 +
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xyzzy314: i got some rare footage of houdini getting locked out of his car
#398433 +
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<arkaneknight> I think my sister went to bed <arkaneknight> brb <Sio> Ew.
#1454 +
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<Thes2K> OK, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS OUT OF CONTEXT, BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND PICTURE OF NAKED BLACK MALES?
#103 +
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<matt`> it makes you get a horrible disease <matt`> called "babies"
#516497 +
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<Linforcer> heh, I just told m girfriend I like my women like I like I like my programming <MuStR> logical? <Linforcer> C++ <mkde> LOL <MuStR> rofl are you serious?
#334887 +
(1620)
atty: my face hurts Chester: why is that atty: well, my grandmother is like a radical feminist atty: and she came downstairs while i was eating my ribs and took one atty: and i go, DAMN WOMEN... ALWAYS STEALING A RIB FROM US MEN atty: so she slapped me Chester: dumbass
#630789 +
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Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic attack. Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?! Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies? Lusty: they don't exist. Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too. Ziggy: Right before the invasion.
#56044 +
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DasKrav: Know what I hate? DasKrav: Repeating myself. Destroy_Boy2000: What? DasKrav: I said I hate repeating myself Destroy_Boy2000: Huh? DasKrav: I SAID I HATE- DasKrav: Oh wait DasKrav: YOU FUCKING QUEEF
#921395 +
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<Aussie> I was listening to some girls talking in a video store. <Aussie> And one of them was saying that she had failed her learners permit because she had used both hands to change gears.
#763160 +
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<Will T. Rex> So, at the pub last saturday <Will T. Rex> Really bogan pub, with pool and AC/DC on the TV jukebox, at 3am in the morning... my nerdy friend says very loudly "NEED MOAR BEER!" <Will T. Rex> with emphasis on the 'moaaar', because we are nerds <Will T. Rex> ... and out of nowhere, some random dude screams "WE ARE ANNONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION" <Will T. Rex> Fucking terrifying
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RogueRed1: you dumb RogueRed1: your* Xaimus: NOT MUCH BETTER
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<tag0y> A UNIX saleslady, Lenore, <tag0y> Enjoys work, but she likes the beach more. <tag0y> She found a good way <tag0y> To combine work and play: <tag0y> She sells C shells by the seashore.
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jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."
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<chuck> I just got two CDs from AOL. Two CDs in one package. One is gold, for dial-up. The other is Silver, for Cable/DSL broadband. They came in a box that was half gold and half silver. The back of the box enumerates the difference between the two available plans. <chuck> The CDs have different features listed on their labels. <chuck> I diff'd them. They're identical. <chuck> bit for bit: <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom <chuck> chkno$ md5sum /dev/cdrom <chuck> 43cf5b370b5d85a74afc2449f445579d /dev/cdrom
#163333 +
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<ignatios> synchronised swimming mang <Schatten> ok <ignatios> _o> <Schatten> _o> <ignatios> <o_ <paranoid> <o_ <Schatten> <o_ <ignatios> o/ <paranoid> o/ <Schatten> o/ <ignatios> <o> <paranoid> <o> <paranoid> ~~~~~~~~~~~<o/~~~~~~~~ HOLY SHIT I CAN'T SWIM <ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~ <ignatios> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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*** civicsi was kicked by Raegen (KK: go away jason) civicsi is [email protected] * Jason Preston civicsi on #cars civicsi using irc2.lightning.net Toca's Miracle civicsi End of /WHOIS list. *** civicsi ([email protected]) has joined #cars <civicsi> uhhh <civicsi> HOW DID YOU GET MY NAME? <Tokae> we are l33t <Darn> haha he hacked you <KK> shutup jason <civicsi> how did you do that? <Tokae> you will be fuct over jason if you act out of line. <KK> Mr Preston <civicsi> I hope you know that I have logs of all hacking attempts <civicsi> and I WILL forward them to the DOJ
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<Booster> whyd you get a mac? <Nick> I have conqured the PC <Nick> just wanted to try it out <Booster> you got it cause you were bored? <Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs" so you cut one off
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<Frostfyre> Alright. 5 reasons why I'm convinced that my penis runs Linux. <Frostfyre> 1. I can create child processes <Frostfyre> 2. I can handle multiple users on any platform at once. <Frostfyre> 3. I'm VERY user friendly. <Frostfyre> 4. I have incredible uptime. <Frostfyre> and 5. When my system load gets too heavy, I end up dumping my core and the system shuts down.
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<+ChiMP> WHATS GAYER THAN ME AND STARTS WITH AN N!!?!? <@miz> nothing <@miz> :o
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<MacMantis> oh christ. a friend of mine just got another of his mothers world breaking text messages. <MacMantis> 'GDAD DIED 5AM -MUMX' <MacMantis> I honestly do wonder what is wrong with the woman.
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<Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> My wife demanded I take her out some place expensive <Buddy`leftBehind`Lee> I took her to a gas station
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<AL> Two families move from Pakistan to America. <AL> When they arrive the two fathers make a bet - in a year's time whichever family has become more American will win. <AL> A year later they meet again:The first man says, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?" <AL> The second man replies, "Fuck you, towelhead."
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<Rottencrotch> h0k do u have months in holland? <hokhokk> wtf <hokhokk> no we only have minutes <Rottencrotch> omg <hokhokk> its 238472893765 today
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<Mithandir> it's interesting how much you can tell about the designers of a product by looking at the end result <Mithandir> for instance I can clearly tell that whomever thought it was a good idea to have "exit program" and "suspend computer" buttons on a keyboard didn't have cats
#222389 +
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<AcidGame> Shit! <legozrule> What? <AcidGame> I downloaded an xbox emulator, and when I tried playing a game, it locked up, so I decided to end it. <legozrule> Then what? <AcidGame> I accidently clicked 'send error report to microsoft' >_<
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<goatasaur> what do you call a black guy flying an airplane? <blah> i refuse to anwser that <blah> im probably wrong <goatasaur> a PILOT, you racist
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<Slime> I saw a headline on the newspaper today: "Horrific Rape in Alley", or something. <Slime> I was like "Is there any other kind of rape?" <Slime> "HILARIOUS RAPE AS CLOWN SODOMIZED