bash.org archive

(sh) i leave for two minutes and you guys are estimating the
ejaculatory capacity of young boy's digestive systems

<Viscant> cockblock (COK'blok) n. 1. to stop in the sexual
escapading by another willfully and wantonly. 2. to deflect
the cock "viscant was eyeing ricky ortiz lustily until arturo
cockblocked him"

<[NSGuide]Greedo386> I'm American.  I respect the Bill of
Rights.  Freedom of Speech is one of the greatest parts of
being American.  That being said, you have no rights in here,
whatsoever.

<Kevyn> Windows XP has been running for 2wks 6days 49mins
26secs
<Kevyn> Heh. Damn.
<Kevyn> I thought I smelled something burning.

<Pikapi> but microsoft doesn't sell windows for macintosh?

<hpr-vb6> $2 bills pwn
<Cracker`tv> KEEP THE 2S!
<[LIQuid]> why?!
<Cracker`tv> take them to strip clubs when you get older...
strippers dont look too hard and they think they're
twenties!!!

<PirateKing> The ultimate girl is any girl who will have sex
with me.
<Jim`> I wouldn't call a prostitute the ultimate girl.

<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her?
-.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard
Mind say anyway

<prof_barney> hey ryan, whats up dude?
<necrophiliac> nuthin
<sw33t_girl> you guys know eachother?
<necrophiliac> yeah he's my sister
<prof_barney> no we dont know eachother we just fuck...

<Punk-In-Drublic> ill look at my penis... and laugh... or will
i cry??
<Mousey> it deoends if you drew a happy face or a sad face on
it ross

<Bliss|CS> anyone got a good server
<Threeboy> for webhosting? yeah i do.
<Bliss|CS> free?
<Threeboy> no, i said GOOD.

<ShadowCaster> since nobody is doing anything... lets see who
can be the FIRST to type the alphabet backwards with their
eyes

<smurphant> it's really annoying when the dvd encoding guides
are like "okay, now use this guide, http://..., to create a
drv project" and then that guide is like "if the dvd has these
properties, then use this guide, if it has these properties,
then use this guide" ...it's a never ending string of guides!
<gunk> lol
<gunk> h0h0
<gunk> all I need to do is mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts
vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1 -vop scale:640x512:vbitrate=700 -oac copy
-dvd-device /dev/cdrom;mencoder -dvd 1 -ovc lavc -lavcopts
vcodec=mpeg4:vpass=1:vbitrate=700 -oac copy -dvd-device /dev/
cdrom -vop scale:640x512
<gunk> and that's actually all quite basic stuff if you read
the docs

<Mr_X> THE US GOVERNMENT WILL PROVIDE YOU A NEW SPACEBAR, SO
YOU CAN WRITE PATRIOTIC EMAILS TO YOUR FRIENDS IN EUROPE.

<Slicer> Its funny how the thought of sucking on a wet sock
makes me feel sick to my stomach
<Slicer> and the thought of sucking on a dick, disturbingly
enough, doesn't.
<Red> ...

[00:15] <iMike> my name is on that
[00:15] <Fustard> yeah well
[00:15] <Fustard> i wrote your name all over my penis

<trccccc> virus: go fuck a leprocohn
<brucel33t> I bet they give good head
<trccccc> maybe he will give you his bag of gold
<Reul> or what's in his sack

(Proalpha): SOMEONE BEEN HACKING MY FUCKING COMP WHO IS IT!, I
WILL FIND YOU I GOT YOU ADDRESS FUCKER. [AMSG]
(Proalpha): HELP ME OUT, HIS IP IS 216.226.129.209
*** Looking up 216.226.129.209
*** Resolved 216.226.129.209 to
security-scanner.progameplayer.com

*ph34rbot wonders where everyone ran off to
<Kur0Tenshi> We're masturbating to erotic asian art.
<Asmodeus> Is that a clever way of saying "Jerking off to
hentai" :)?
<Kur0Tenshi> Bingo. :]

<[TX]-KnacK> I removed irc from the office and saw a 300%
increase in productivity

<Shino> internet people are creepy...
<Shino> if i wasnt me, and met myself, id piss myself with
fear

* Joins: Julie_ ([email protected])
Julie_ is [email protected] * * I'm to lame to read
BitchX.doc *
<jube> Julie_ you're using bitchx and therefore unix.
<jube> that doesnt bode well for your dress size
<Julie_> ha
<jube> prove me wrong in .jpg form

<Monkey> Won't you take me to Funky Town?
<triple6> I'm not going that way, sorry.

<RichiH> as soon as a joke is available as a thinkgeek tee, it
is dead

<@Porn-Star> (OS) Windows XP Home Edition (5.1 - 2600),
(installed for) 40w 1d 13h 12m, (uptime) 2d 3h 50m 28s,
(record) 3d 11h 6m 1s
<@Cheez> (OS) Windows XP Professional, Service Pack 1 (5.1 -
2600), (installed for) 6d 7h 2m, (uptime) 13m 2s, (record) 16h
31m 43s
<@Porn-Star> 16hrs
<@Porn-Star> tee hee
* @Cheez shrugs
<@Cheez> its only on when im using it
<@Porn-Star> scary enough, so's mine

<{R3D}Hurricane> you know your a geek when the highlight of
your vacation consisted of spying on people in the Oracle HQ
Building with binoculars from your hotel room

<Sasquatch> in 20 years schindler's list will be the subject
of MST3K
<Sasquatch> <Crow> He's Makin a list, and checkin' it twice.
<TomServo> I don't get it, is he naughty? or nice?

<Outhouse> my wife is cool but when she starts that shit like,
hold me, talk to me...it's like why?

`007Cheater`- I was AT the gay parade
`007Cheater`- I was not IN the gay parade

<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details

<m00cow> i'm downloading mozilla rc1
<m00cow> i wonder what its like
<m00cow> i hope mozilla uses its firebreath on microsoft
<m00cow> then eats microsoft
<m00cow> then poos micro soft poopoos
<DCBastard> uh-huh
<DCBastard> how many cones have you smoked tonight?

(tarmac) FUCKFDUCKFUCKFUCUFKC
(tarmac) OMG
(tarmac) PAIN
(tarmac) my nipples are chaffed
(tarmac) from running
(tarmac) with a wet shirt
(tarmac) and
(tarmac) i sprayed colonge on
(tarmac) WOW

<EarthQuake> which came first? the chicken or the egg? :o
<EarthQuake> hehe
<@omega> omega came first
<@omega> then the chicken got pregnant

< ntc> is it possible to recover encrypted files from an
ecryptfs container? i lost the passphrase
< scorbutus> ntc: you could try filing a foia request with dhs

<phelanR> [Fserve Active] - Triggers:[!donkeysandgoatsex] -
Users:[64/69] - Sends:[63/71] - Queues:[5/5] - Min CPS:[5kB/s]
- subject:[donkey/goat porn] - Bytes Sent:[86.47GB] - Files
Sent:[912] - Upload Speed:[18.7kB/s] - Download Speed:[26.5kB/
s] - Total Bandwidth:[45.2kB/s]
<Niteling> what the hell is this junk doin in a chat channel
<captain_tarik> gotta give him credit
<Niteling> ?
<captain_tarik> 64 is a helluva lotta people to download
donkey and goat porn

<SimonBob> A friend of mine was the games monitor for a linux/
windows hybrid comp at school
<SimonBob> He was in charge of deleting games
<SimonBob> And he was like "Linux? That game isn't fun"

<Abstract> wb
<Wolf> thanks
<Wolf> I'm jelous of my computer
<Abstract> why?
<Wolf> It gets more fucked up than i do

<Chubbzilla|UC> AVATARS
<Chubbzilla|UC> OMG NO
<Chubbzilla|UC> THEY WILL USE UP MY UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH
<Boko> ok
<Boko> i'll turn them off then

<tak08810> Frostlion, that is the porrest splelling Iv'e ever
seen
<Frostlion> no it'sn't
<tak08810> err, poorest, I've, spelling

<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc
just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be
hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so
special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and
mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why
the discrepancy?
<or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies
to make that person feel better

<Ash> Op me so hard.

<LilGCube740-> im not an idiot i just dont like things that
are too comlicated

<foo-busy> besides, saying you're a vb programmer around true
geeks is like saying you're gay at the mormon's men
convention. seeya later

<Opio-> theres a mexican restaurant around here.. after you're
done eating they give you mints that are called "Spi C mints"

<Poutremos> Win98 / Win98se CD
<Suparmono> i located dad's copy
<Suparmono> so you want me to bring it tomorrow?
<Suparmono> or want me to copy it on to 340 5-1/4" floppy
disks?

<Satori> I read this book once, yeh, about this guy named
claude who hooked up with this young gal who got pregnant and
it wasn't his kid, but she said it was the result of getting
raped by a supernaural being so he was cool with it so he
packed the old girl up and headed off to pay taxes on her ass
so's she'd be legal like... but shit happened and she wound up
birthing the brat in some shit-filled barn so the shepherd
brought in myrhh and frankincense

<coldacid> someone poured cleaner into the toilet bowl
<coldacid> now when i piss
<coldacid> i get the smell of cleaner instead of urine
<nover> damn that has to suck
<coldacid> and the normal pee-bubbles look like cleaner
bubbles
<keerus> things must be rough for ou coldacid
<coldacid> yes
<coldacid> next thing you know, i'll be bathed and wearing
fresh clothing

<love`mouse> OMFG
<love`mouse> I hope that's chocolate on my pillow
<Dislexic> :/

<Lemmih> a_shadow: You could start rollerskating. That was how
I meet my first girlfriend.
<Sonarman> or you could just masturbate to porn

<Orange1> why won't openbsd recognize my usb floppy drive?
<Orange1> it starts booting, but then can't find itself

wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
enkorat: as in physics?
enkorat: or sex stuff?

<Atob> YOU CANT SAY "I SEE" IN TWO CHARACTERS IT'S LAZY
<Mortimer> fine
<Mortimer> i'll take a note of that
<Atob> Unless you're being ironic, then it's fine.
<Atob> But you have to be inside an ironclad and claim
sanctuary.
<Mortimer> "i am presently in visual and mental awareness of
the aforementioned fact"
<Mortimer> sound good?
<Atob> Sure is.

<Falthorn> Like the ninja, pants hold no barrier to the
ghostly precision of my meat!

<plaz`> The highest I've got the linux servers at work to is
~70 days.
<plaz`> The NT server got to 112 days.
<plaz`> This irks me.

<Joe> reich as in shut the fuck up, you're a fag
<Reich> OOh
<Reich> coming from a guy who had cyber-sex witha guy
<Sabdo> ...
<Sabdo> wtf do you think the internet is FOR?

<@brush> i'm not racist i donwnload black porn too

* Logan learns how to say no to requests of programming
assistance.
<loop> uh oh
<loop> that sounds bad for everybody like me

<bytraper> man get a set of mags for your car
<bytraper> dude.... steal a set if you have to
<bytraper> they really make the car
<bytraper> especially going a large 16" rim and low profile
tyres
<Lord-Data> im too fat to do illegal stuff, i can't run away
:)

! Admiral_Justin is an equal opportunity asshole
( Admiral_Justin ) ummm
( Admiral_Justin ) that sounded soooo wrong

<Orion> Among the impressive range of Durex products you'll
find are three new exciting condoms - Sensation, Close Fit and
Classic.
<Orion> oh goody, three NEW EXCITING condoms
<goldberg> put them all on at once
<goldberg> you get a classic close fit sensation

<Cassius> erm
<Cassius> why does the gurl in final fantasy look so much more
real than the others?
<JtHMx> so you can fap over her
<bleetz> cause then she'll make little boys more aroused.
<bleetz> and they'll buy the game
<bleetz> or.. much better put.. by jt..
* JtHMx bows

<PigsCantFly> which is bigger. evilpie's [ ] nose [ ] love
<evilpie> my love
<cardcheat> if by love, you mean his cock, then his nose

<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of
december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives

nocashvaluedrumz: they need to reinvent the internet
nocashvaluedrumz: so i can enjoy it with both hands

<Merrick> Elizabethian: To be or not to be, that is the
question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings
and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take up arms against a
sea of troubles and by opposing end them. Ebonics: I be fixin
to hang in the hood.

<Eticam> omg
<Eticam> there's a hole in my pants, right at my asshole
<Eticam> how the hell did that get there? :/

<alakahil> hmm: FBI AND CIA ARE LOOKING AT YOU
<Mother> so what's new?
<alakahil> some new type of spam
<rambopfc> lol
<alakahil> next i will havespam from fbi
<alakahil> "we are looking for you"
<alakahil> "how big your salary should be?"
<Mother> hehehehe
<alakahil> where have all those "enlarge your penis" and
"look, i'm naked" have gone?
<Mother> oh they still come in every now and then
<Mother> had I answered all of them Neil Armstrong could walk
to the moon on my penis

--- Hairball is now known as t3h_h0r5|3
<Enos_Shenk> teh horse?
<t3h_h0r5|3> horsie
<t3h_h0r5|3> lmfao
<Enos_Shenk> hah
<Enos_Shenk> no man
<Enos_Shenk> thats not leet
<Enos_Shenk> this is leet
>>> You(Enos_Shenk) are now known as my_l1ttl3_p0ny
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> PHEEEEER
<youm0nt2> you mean ph34r
<my_l1ttl3_p0ny> oh yeah

<Twinge> To think, there are 8.065817517e67 possible games of
freecell, and I've only beaten 3.