bash.org archive

Quit (Connection reset by Cruise Missile)

<SCarfAcE> Russia has sent in the army to bolster a week-long
struggle to rescue 10 tons of beer trapped under Siberian ice,
Itar-Tass news agency said Tuesday. A lorry carrying the beer
sank when trying to cross the frozen Irtysh river, and a
rescue team of six divers, 10 workers and a modified T-72 tank
from the emergencies ministry have so far failed to save the
load.
<SCarfAcE> now that's a great allocation of resources!
<Abstruse> scar: And all we had to get that baby out of the
well were firefighters with Vasoline.

tophyr: dude it smells like updawg in here
CowboyVik124: hey instant winner playing this fri at somewhere
wanna go
tophyr: IT SMELLS LIKE UPDAWG IN HERE
CowboyVik124: updawg?
tophyr: DAMMIT.
CowboyVik124: in watching van wiler
tophyr: ASK WHAT IT IS
CowboyVik124: wilder
CowboyVik124: i did
tophyr: NO ASK WHAT IS
CowboyVik124: what is it
tophyr: OMFG.
tophyr: WHAT IS UPDAWG
tophyr: GOD
CowboyVik124: what is updawg
tophyr: YES.
CowboyVik124: what is it
tophyr: omfg
tophyr: say it out loud
CowboyVik124: updawg?
tophyr: SAY "WHAT IS UPDAWG" OUT LOUD
CowboyVik124: i am
tophyr: AND YOU STILL DON'T GET IT.
tophyr: TEXANS!

<StoneDog> The mental image that went with getting head from a
severed head?
<StoneDog> Didn't bug me.

<tytyt> the--kav if you were not a man I'd hug you
<deepcut> but as it is, he's too afraid of his own latent
homosexuality to dare
<tytyt> there are support group for that
<deepcut> tytyt: I was referring to you

<Goldenstimme1> 46 M lonely, self-employed, employed myself
earlier this evening

<wandarah> Quote added as #53880. Thanks for participating.
:-)
<wandarah> :D
<arryola> you quoted me? YOU CUNT!
<arryola> ...
<arryola> argh
* arryola refrains from speaking
<wandarah> Quote added as #53881. Thanks for participating.
:-)

<Lethalmartini> i always worry im too pale but then i think of
british people and i cheer up
<Pandilex> I don't understand the facination with lying under
the sun burning yourself
<Lethalmartini> neither do i, but anything to increase the
odds of having sex
<Pandilex> spray-on-tan
<Pandilex> failing that, money and power

<Kalony> i thought it was some cool hand of fate deal or
something
<dredg> fate needs to deal me a sandwich
<Kalony> fate could deal me a hand job too
<Kalony> preferably after washing its hands
<dredg> and then washing its hands before it made my sandwich

<Volt9000> I had wood today
<Volt9000> I'm proud
<AL9000> Me too
<SROL> I did, too
<SROL> And I believe we all know what happened soon after
<AL9000> Volt's pet goat hid behind the couch

<Mentar_Ex> Having a huge debate about the war on drugs.
<Mentar Ex> What's your take on it?
<@Galleta> You know, I'm really divided on that subject,
because I love war, and I love drugs, and I just hate to see
them go at eachother. It's like a chick fight, only with tons
of blood and no flesh.

<Hatamoto> IRC is like one giant round of intellectual bukake
;)

<JesterX> i wish i had anorexia
<JesterX> i could save money and buy RAM or something

! @Snuffy wonders why jiesal doesnt take the 20mins needed to
learn irc
( jiesal ) because i'm a girl

<Omega037> so, apparently in preschool class today the teacher
asked the class "What are you afraid of?" and my son screamed
"BLACK PEOPLE!"  It took her like a minute of talking to him
about it to realize that he meant shadows, he just didn't know
the word.

<@IS2> play it again, dugy
<@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo da da de da dooo
<@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo daaaaa da daaa
<@Dugy> oooooooo ah ooooo da da de da dooo
<@IS2> ahhh, what a classic
* IS2 saves it to his mp3 collection
<@Dugy> :(

notten: it's cliche shit and i'd rather masturbate with
sandpaper than watch a minute of mtv

<_TP_> "My name is Reginald P Linux and ever since my wife
died Ive been VERY depressed"
<SanityClause> He should recompile her kernel

<konik> First of all let me say that Mac zealots should be
rounded up into cattle cars, gassed to death and incinerated
to make certain there is no remaining genetic material that
might infect the rest of the gene pool.
<pixagen> amen
<pixagen> there is a guy at work who always tells people that
their system would never fail, be slow, freeze, or cause
stress if it was a Mac
<pixagen> i tried to stab him but he is nimble and spry
<natx> tell him i love him

<Sniffer> fucking emos'
<KFAD> Emoses?
<KFAD> Was he the one who parted the binary seas?

<_ohm> sara, as a girl i have to ask you a serious question
<_ohm> girl/woman
<_ohm> do you know when a guy is producing massive amounts of
ass sweat

Reguarding geology vs. astronomy:
Skail[FARK] Yeah, I'm down with rocks.
Skail[FARK] You can't dent someone's skull with a nebula.

### Psyber converts paige's vibrator from .5 milliamps to 200
amps
### Paige is gone (07:19PM): brb.. *bzzzz*

<smapdi> in an attempt to get me to stop drinking and smoking
so much pot and get motivated twords computers my dad got me
dsl
<smapdi> basically, all he acomplished was a way for me to get
alot of pr0n

<aster> what's a cervix
<aster> sounds like a bitchx script

<sQuEeDeN> <applet code="filename.jar"></applet>
<duckman> <monkey sex="now"></monkey>
<sQuEeDeN> <duckman sex="none" orientation="unknown"></
duckman>

<XZergonaleashIX> shut, up, now i'm hungy]ry
<XZergonaleashIX> thats right, hungy]ry

<hansblix> they should have a fear factor where they eat dead
iraqi babies
<hansblix> after the war
<hansblix> hey
<hansblix> can i take that last comment back
<hansblix> i think it was kinda weird
<hero> a little
* tghost changes topic to '<hansblix> they should have a fear
factor where they eat dead iraqi babies'
<hansblix> damn

<andy> meaningful conversation always brighten one's day...
<Pkekyo|> no fucking wonder it's pitch black outside

<^o-o^> the development version of Xemacs has a warning file
in it
<^o-o^> "People with epilepsy, persons with a history of heart
problems and users of Viagra should not use this version of
Xemacs"
<drwiii> i bet bob dole is sitting home pissed because he
can't use that version of Xemacs

* Beerbaron oils up the chainsaw and sharpens his axe
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[st-packing-car] going and doing errands
[st-packing-car] collecting what I need
[MrFootsy`] oh
[st-packing-car] dump, bank and letting the kids put bottles
and cans in the redemption machine
[MrFootsy`] never seen one of those
[st-packing-car] well you just haven't lived
[MrFootsy`] a redemption machine...those catholics sure have
embraced technology
[st-packing-car] lol

<Cassara> Linux is like anal sex. It hurts quite a bit at
first but then you really like it. And while you stick with
it, theres still some aches and pains afterwards.

<MrFalcon> wtf is ePlus?
<drwiii> your grade in sex ed.

ð Zibblsnrt simply wants food (there's /none/ in the house
ATM) .. ponders
making a pizza run or something
<rob`> zib; isn't halifax still under a few meters ice?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: And?
<Zibblsnrt> :)
<rob`> is there a tunnel network or something?
<Zibblsnrt> rob: No, we simply float atop it because we're
just that suave

<@Beebop> You know you're really addicted to CS when you stop
masturbate cuz you think your neighbor has a wallhack

<Hammer[TECH]> There's a new band out called Earshot, who
sound a good bit like tool.
<Hammer[TECH]> At first this bothered me, until my friend jack
pointed out "would you rather have another band that sounds
like tool, or another band that sounds like nickelback."

Edgey: I don't have a girlfriend...I just know a girl that
would get really mad, if she heard me say that.

<ksennin> Easy E is the only member of NWA who gets any pussy
<TripleRach> doubtful
<TripleRach> easy e is dead
<ksennin> what really
<TripleRach> uh yeah
<ksennin> oh man i lost track of my homies. :|
<TripleRach> he died of aids many years ago
<ksennin> aha
<ksennin> So he did get lots of pussy.

<Kallahar> use telnet
<Nygis> i cant find the answer in telnet
<Kallahar> well, try harder.  maybe you aren't pushing the
keys in all the way.
<Nygis> but im pushin as hard as i can

<Ichiro51> LOL I remember picking up this chick at a bar
several years ago .. we went back to her place, she asks me if
I minded if she "made herself at home" .. I said no, so she
took her teeth out and blew me.

<+Fantasma> makes me feel all special and gooey inside 
<+Fantasma> like a little catholic shoolgirl having her first
orgasm in the rafters of the church during communion

<Skipp-XP> ok, I don't have a lot of time but I want to ask a
quick question
<Skipp-XP> I have a style writer II printer, and I want to
connect it to my mac
<barry> use the included cable
<Skipp-XP> barry: go fuck yourself
<Lint> good way to get help retard.

<Guilty> See that kid should have AWPed bush through the
house, with a wall cheat

<T-Girth> that girl kept me up all night long <G>
<T-Girth> of course it was just cuz she wouldn't shut her trap
while i was tryin to sleep

<Froggyz0r> well you know warez is just like wanking....your a
lier if you say you dont and a fool if you say you do.

<Krameras> i know somebody who doesnt want to watch the
Simpsons because its "too derogatory"
<CyberThor> Yeah. It's offencive to yellows everywhere!

<Pirificio> Anyone on here with a higher level of Estrogin
than Testoterone?
<mogismog> lemme guess, you don't have a girlfriend?

<Targaff> MUD = fighting and stuff, MUSH = sitting around
getting collectively high ovr a net connection

<Killrbyte> In Oregon, they give food stamps on a debit-type
card, called the Oregen Trail card.  But they're given in two
ways: Either Cash or Food.  If its Food, then they can only
buy Food with it, if its Cash (Which is rare), then they can
anything, or even just cash out the card when it gets
recharged automatically.  I'm not sure who gets which, but I
know my tax money goes to it.
<Prozzy> The Oregeon Trail Card, do you have to shoot buffalo
also if you have the card? What about your family, if they're
starving or dying, can you just take them out back and shoot
them?
<qrg> whev youve nearly run out of credit on your oregon trail
card do you get to take a raft ride
<arse-poet> i love the really old school oregon trail game,
where you go hunting and you like shoot a pixel at a blob of
pixels representing a buffalo
<Prozzy> I know when I carry around my Orgeon Trail Card,
Indians come out of nowhere and shoot arrows at my car

<Campster> "DOOM 3 WILL BE PRODUCED ON A BUDGET OF 439 DOLLARS
AND A PACKET OF JUICY FRUIT"

<MexHammer> I mean, come on, aren't at least 20% of Star Trek
episodes ones where they end up going back to Earth circa 1920
- 1945? They have millions of planets and who knows how much
time and they have hundreds of episodes with that premise? If
Star Trek was a person, it'd be you. And I'd beat it up.

<MadHatt3r> if you were around men 24 hours a day, for quite a
few years
<MadHatt3r> the idea of hetro and homosexuality would go
flying out the window
<Jeeeeebus> MadHatt3r: remind me not to spend long periods of
time with you..

<-yptosis> Hey, I took a picture of my wang like df did. Let
me upload it.
<-yptosis> It'll take a bit, it is a 9 meg file.

<Shadow> You know those Orbit commercials, where the blonde
gives Orbit gum to someone to clean their dirty mouth?
<Shadow> Just once, I wanna see that girl suck off someone,
then chew some Orbit gum
<Shadow> Girl: Orbit gum makes mouths clean!

<xCytheriAx> imagine losing your entire arm from a shark
attack.. eek, that poor girl
<BluECliQ> thats a shame..
<xCytheriAx> she said how she believes God has a plan for her
and doesn't think it's for her to get bitten by a shark twice
<BluECliQ> she might not get bit twice but if she falls off
the board i cant imagine her swiming to shore with only one
arm

<bb-w3rk> If Received By:   Pay this Amount:
<bb-w3rk> 12/20/02    $25,692.40
<bb-w3rk> 12/30/02    $25,712.75
<bb-w3rk> 01/09/03    $25,733.09
<bb-w3rk> :(
<ESD-Wyrk> ...
<ESD-Wyrk> wtf is that
<bb-w3rk> damn tab at the liquor store

in ana ni xX: I pretend to be a dude on mIRC.
in ana ni xX: Like, for instance, I just got banned from seven
channels in less than 10 minutes!
Hero by Words: Awesome.
in ana ni xX: I know, I'm really cool.
in ana ni xX: It pisses me off sometimes,
in ana ni xX: how someone can slap me around with a fish,
in ana ni xX: but I can't wank off into their eyes without
getting booted.

* Topic is '<Tackmer> this is the dirty bisexuals zone'
<JonnYNug> Dirty Bixexuals Zone
<JonnYNug> Whoa i'm out'a here,, tnx for putting that in the
topic,,
* JonnYNug
([email protected]) has left
#DBZ

<anju> hell,not only do i not have brains. . . i have EXTRA
BOOBS INSIDE MY HEAD instead

<lasthero> i own a lot of cds
<lasthero> and i own a kick ass stereo too
<lasthero> but don't own speackers, they cost so much

<tgpretend> MICROSOFT BRAIN DRAIN CONTINUES. Fourteen-year
<tgpretend>     vet. Paul Maritz resigns.
<tgpretend> how can he be an m$ veterna if he's only 14?

Mattbot80: The creepiest thing happened at work the other day
i went to the bathroom and there was a female janitor cleaning
it and i was like shit i'll have to come back later she sees
me and says something in spanish i have no idea what she said
but she had like an evil witch cackel a hispanic guy had
walked in behind me and told me she had invited me to go ahead
it creeped me out
DaShizza: You seriously should have just whipped it out, did
you really have anything to lose?
Mattbot80: Well i went the urinal and whipped it out thinking
that's creepy but she wouldn't be able to see anything but my
back but then she starts mopping around my feet and then she
put the mop between my legs and hit my foot and i was like
fuck this i'm gone i'll piss myself if i need to.
Mattbot80: It was the most akward momownt i've ever had in a
bathroom
DaShizza: hahahha
i just showed my co-worker
hahah, thats hysterical
Mattbot80: Glad you enjoyed it this may very well cause deep
emotional scarring and a phobia of public bathrooms or female
janitors

<maskedferret> didnt know you could install XP on a car
<RRA-[[LuCkY]]> actually, its called Windows CP
<RRA-[[LuCkY]]> for cars.
<maskedferret> i'd hate to see it crash

<koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up
with a she-male.

<Cyclonus> Fucking paper plate cut my finger!
<Red_Sky> Cast it into the DARK corner of the basement!
<MossadMan> Along with the fish heads and condoms.
<Red_Sky> Condoms, why the hell would he have those?
<Red_Sky> That's like Jesus buying waterwings.
<Red_Sky> He ain't nevah gonna use 'em!

<brock101> whats speeds should i get over a lan, with a 10/100
connection ?
<@WheelOr> 10 to 100 Mbits/sec.
<brock101> -_-
<brock101> thanks, i knew that
<brock101> i walked into that one didn`t i
<@WheelOr> I suppose so.

<Ted> I'd like something to open the damn door automatically.
<bernard> A negro?
<Ted> That would take up too much room in the undersized
bathroom here.
<bernard> Gary Coleman?

<KooLLaiD> Your a fucking Morron