bash.org archive

<JCDenton> i wasn't flooding............
<JCDenton> i was sharing

<pann> my brother was working on site and they were waiting
for a jap cable delivery dude to drop off some cable, anyways
he was 20 minutes late and my brothers boss goes to
him 'its about time you rice eating mother fucker' and the
jap guy comes running past 'hey fuck you round eye!'

« caffeine-killer » can someone help me with how to protect
your computer from mirc

* demo20b has joined #odoru
<timeless> stfu
* demo20b has quit IRC (Exit: if you stand at the top of a
very tall building, do u eva feel like jumping off?)
<timeless> omg
<timeless> thats all i takes to get rid of him??

<Stormcaller> oh! i found a caltrop in my living room today

<Misfortune_Cookie> I went to CostCo today
<Misfortune_Cookie> and you shoulda seen the look I got when I
tried to hitch a ride on the forklift

<pkt> if i was giving some one cpr, and i heard my ups
beeping, i would stop the cpr, and make sure my computer got
plugged in somewhere else

<djbjrca> Loonietoon: what OS are you on
<Loonietoon> im not on os
<Loonietoon> isnt that mac
<Loonietoon> im windows

<Soberguy> redhat 8 can't decide if  a rpm is installed or not
<toxictv> Redhat is like anal sex - good every now and then,
but if you rely on it too heavily, it starts to bleed out the
ass.

Giga|RS is now known as Giga|AFK
<pika^-^newbie> wb Giga|AFK

<pupkick> i just did my first mouthrinse with the shit i was
prescribed.. i've been putting it off because i was worrying
about pain like i get with scope and shit.. it was hella
easy.. almost even tasted good.. now i can only blame myself
for infections and extra swelling =/
<blitzoid> pupkick: You knew the risks when you became a
gigalo.

<jabroni77> ANY FEMALES NOT BLOND 120 POUNDS AND MODEL LIKE???
ON THE NET?

<sean> though south keys is disgustingly expensive, it's right
beside an O-Train station and has a bulk barn next door
<xmatt> O-Train sounds like some weird sexual innuendo.
<adam> it's all in your head, matt.
<xmatt> "I might take her for a ride on the O-Train. Oooh,
oooh! Yeah, you know what I mean."

moose> my resume is SOILD, but I can't get clueless head
hunters to even fucking return a call
<moose> "do you have a ccna?"
<moose> BITCH HAVE YOU READ MY RESUME
<moose> "we need somone who knows PGB in internet lans"
<moose> sigh

<Sean> i'm addicted to just feeling my iPod, holding it and
twiddling the buttons
<Mike> omfg
<Sean> such a neat little thing
<Mike> You know you're a nerd when you have a fetish for your
mp3 player

<cornbread> The last time I got an SMS from a chick, it said
'i h8 u fgt.'
<cornbread> I shit you not.

<Orpal> studying, HA HA
<Killgore-studying> trying to
<Orpal> it's friday night, you should be out killing
prostitutes

<MooksGirl> Mook you can see boobies if you come in here w/ me
<Mook> brb
<MooksGirl> I'm watching Girls Gone Wild

<Allister> Rookie, look in your Maximum PC where it compared
all those gaming machines.
<R00kie_> hold on , gota wipe the sticky stuff off

<RatBreath> almost half a terabyte of copyrighted material...
amazing. you are a god
<Rzrshrp60> well most of it is vids of isajeeps mom on the
strip
<Efflixi> lol
<Rzrshrp60> ...high quality
<isajeep> wtf

<Grinderwald> my dick is hard
<moo|cow> always a bowl of wisdom grinder
<Grinderwald> :D

<c_thur> god i hate my roomates GF
<c_thur> if she was non existant
<c_thur> there would be no hand jobs behind me

<Fark_Ninja> The most overlooked advantage to owning a
computer is that if it fouls up there's no law against wacking
it around a little.
<Cerebus> The same is actually true for a penis.

<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200
bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need
company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was
like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we
get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude

<reppy> dudes
<reppy> my dad's wife like
<reppy> is a child psycholigist
<reppy> and one of her patients walked in on her mom getting
fucked by the dog
<reppy> I got turned on just hearing that:(
<Morris> NIce
<Morris> You'd think a dog like most mammals would finish
really quickly and move on
<Morris> But hey, whatever turns her on.
<DooMStalK> "Mommy! Mommy! I've got a boo bo... Mommy! What is
the dog doing to you? Why do i suddenly have the urge to
clean?"
<Morris> haha
<Morris> "Can I play with the doggy too?"
<DooMStalK> "Bad dog! Take that out of mommy!"

<frafra> Eny Hackers here? this is 100% important i really
need to talk to an proffesionel Hacker...
<frafra> police took me for i-net harrassment costed me 600
euro, i need to get thoose people's pc hacked.. destroyed (
the one that told police ofcuz )
<frafra> You're All underarest i got your Host , I'm from FBI
federal police department

<Bob> I was gonna join the army, until the war started

<Lookn4Poon> i'm in big trouble
*** thekhan_b has joined #d2jsp
<Lookn4Poon> i'm pretty sure the doctor is gonna finger my ass
tomorrow morning
<Lookn4Poon> i'm trying to hold in the poop so he can get his
finger dirty

Rabid Llama: heh, somebody should legally change their name to
"8==D"
Rabid Llama: so they could just draw a penis instead of
signing

<CCCXLVI> Ok so what I'm saying is, that CapnSilver said she
was ugly, so that must mean that any girl that he has had any
sort of relationship with must be BETTER looking than Paris
Hilton... So basically he has only gone out with models??
<CCCXLVI> Which we all know is utter shit.
<jaxxon> your argument is 'shes better looking because i say
so'
<CCCXLVI> Bullshit, that's my whole argument just there.
<CCCXLVI> Read it you fucking ignoramous.
<CapnSilver> the flaw in your arguement is that you think
you're right

<Toast> I prefer to op softly and carry a big kline

<Lum_> From tomorrow through Labor Day, a U.S. holiday
celebrated on September 3, jeans are fine for all non-customer
situations, any day of the week.
<Loafman> Now, is that black jeans or all colors?
<Lum_> all colors
<Xeen> I say we push this as far as it will go.
<Lum_> I got some with no crotch
<Soulflame> ...
<Lum_> I'll wear those tomorrow
<Xeen> Ok, so not quite as far as it will go.

<+m1g> anyone know where i can find the win9X DDK ?
<@tenfour> yeah
<@tenfour> 1998

<Paine> "What body parts would you be willing to give away to
play AO normally?"
<Paine> I mean, are you really using that little toe for
anything important?
<Rattran> Depends on how many are in the freezer, doesn't it?
<Burimpu> I'd give my left vaginal wall to play AO properly!

<lost-and-found> a firewall is just an internet condom

<@kt> i'm going to put icey hot on my nipples again
<@kt> bye

<Rowdy> Do ppl even test this shit?
<Rowdy> Bloody FreeBSD.  It was better when it was elite and
there were no fucking n00bz submitting lame ports.
<Rowdy> I may have to switch to OpenBSD, just to be snooty.

Daeg says, "We are watching the dead deer show."
Una says, "A whole show about dead deers?"
Daeg says, "It seems to be."
Una says, "This isn't that Canadian soft porn channel again,
is it? :)"

<mxman> i think some people have non sensitive cocks
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> you know its bad when your hand goes numb while
you're pouding it

<Zwitta|d4_P41N> I should be voiced in here
<[-FcG-]SoylentGreen> you can be if you give me money
*** ChanServ sets mode: +v Zwitta|d4_P41N
<Zwitta|d4_P41N> Thx for voice ChanServ
<Zwitta|d4_P41N> aha
<Zwitta|d4_P41N> ...there we go
<[-FcG-]SoylentGreen> damn chanserv ruining my retirement
plans

<LkTrout1> call yourself DJ Sock
<LkTrout1> Come in naked with just a sock over your crotch.

* soya-88 squeezes your cock.
* Tim_K makes sure it's loaded.

<ian> I have done it. Zidane you are stupid. End
<Zidane> dude im a 13 year old with the iq of a adult
<Zidane> it is you who is the dumb
<ian> it's "an adult"
<ian> and IQs for adults vary widely
<Zidane> no a
<ian> what you say means absolutely nothing.
<ian> NO, it's AN
<Zidane> i mean all!!
<Stuntman21> What a fucking retard
<xXkenXx> its AN
<Zidane> an....then
<Stuntman21> AN is proper grammer you dumb motherfucker
<xXkenXx> d00d,
<xXkenXx> theres a vowel
<Zidane> ....yep
<ian> " i r 13 and supar smar!"

<BlackComb> any 1 have 04-ja_rule-leaving_
(always_on_time_pt_ii_ft_ja_rule)-brm.mp3
<DvsG> ja rule featuring ja rule?
<DvsG> that's twice the gayness
<DvsG> woohoo

Infidel: I got a great idea for Southwest Airlines. 
Disgusting lardass customers who refuse to purchase 2 seats
can opt for the "treadmill" seat at the regular 1-seat price,
and they have to jog the entire trip.
Void: i would just have them opt for the "chainsaw" instant
weight loss program which your ticket counter clerk will be
happy to help you with.

<morgaSTFU> MBoffin: did you hear about the new IE hole?
<MBoffin> The one they posted the code for on BugTraq?
<Drg> i'm over the hype of the new ie hole heh.. had enough
fun backdooring the girls on my msn list.. haahahahahaHAh
<morgaSTFU> eeew
<MBoffin> Drg, backdooring girls should be discussed in
another channel, please

<FLB> cardian: Since you have a civic, if I win the lottery
one day...
<FLB> I'm gonna buy both of your neighbours new cars to park
beside your civic

<purr> nah, i'm gonna wait for him to come to me
<Sorcerer> the scene from Gladiator comes to mind
<Sorcerer> "I caught wind of a fish that waits on the bottom
of the ocean for it's prey to take a nibble"
<Sorcerer> "The prey nibbles more and yet, the fish does
nothing..."
<purr> Oh well, as long as I end up eaten in the end ;p

<Amish> women are psychotic
<Amish> cats are great pets for them though
<Xenopax> because they are cold and only want attention when
you don't want to give it to them?
<Amish> that, and you get to kick them when they aren't
looking
<Amish> JUST KIDDING PETA

<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in
the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you
and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo

<Bone Man> anyone know how to setup a streming thingie for a
webcam
<RonWeasley> www.surveyorcorp.com get webcam32 and go crazy
<InsomniFox> bone- have you got a bible handy?
<Mort-Hog> Yes. The Bible tells you how to set up your webcam.

<Diablo-D3> RichiH: only you would have a chainsaw strapon.
<RichiH> yeah, this completely redefines "treehugger"

<sKILLET> wut up m?
<m> uhm
<m> J, K and L

<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.

<Synonymet> !google kiss me where i pee or you'll get my wang
in your shithole
<sx> 9 results for
"kiss+me+where+i+pee+or+you'll+get+my+wang+in+your+shithole"
<maUru> wow
<maUru> nice
<hardlined> haha

<deniro> Happy to hear that the french lost the world cup
already!
<deniro> Next time football will pop up into conversation,
those french bastards will pretend an urgent pee to go cry in
the toilets instead of being arrogant as usual
<bloom> Aren't you french?
<deniro> Well... don't tell anyone ok?
<deniro> I don't want anybody to think I must have some kind
of disease to go so often in the toilets for the next 4
years...

<Icebird> I was thinking the other day that it would be funny
to put a window in my brother's old computer case and turn it
into a hampster cage.. put a wheel in, say I got the new
processor from AMD

<Hatamoto> I'd like to make 2 comments of public interest:
<Hatamoto> #1 - Barium contrast substrate tastes like a
day-old mcdonalds strawberry milkshake with tums ground up in
it. Eech. The little lemon-lime 'fizzy pills' you gotta
swallow taste like ass too.
<Hatamoto> #2 - Hospital robes are way too fucking small.
<Hatamoto> ... thank you.
<Hatamoto> Oh yes, and one more thing:
<Hatamoto> #3 - Barium burps. The gift that just keeps on
giving.

(energize) wanna blow me?
(Wickey) wanna earn my trust back??
(energize) can i do both at the same time?

<gfm> barubary -- ok so you've spent 9 months on this, have
nothing
conclusive to show for it, and even if you did manage to
find
something, which we'd all bet large sums of money isn't
going to
happen, its useless except to a handful of warez kiddiez
in #psx?
<gfm> Don't you have anything better to do?
<Barubary> nope
<gfm> oh
<gfm> well, ok then.
<gfm> good luck

[+Badtz] good sex = the best shit out there
[@orion] what's the bandwidth requirements?

<SA-Magic> urgh, need food, but too tired to bother
<SA-NiteFox> Shake your keyboard upside down over your mouth.
<SA-NiteFox> It's kept me alive all these years.
<SA-Magic> nah, its ful of dirt and pubes
<SA-Magic> im not eating myself, so to speak
<SA-NiteFox> Okay, I do not want to ask how they got there...
<SA-Thrillias> Full of... pubes?
<SA-Magic> uhk, the dirt is jsut from usage
<SA-Magic> not MY pubes, surely
<SA-NiteFox> EVEN WORSE!

<SteamedHams> linux fags are like normal fags, only more
efficient

<`Iago> how much is a million yen in canadian?
<teklord^> like one dollar
<`Iago> yeah... cause i figured that the japanese version of
who wants to be a millioniare must really suck

<BetaCeti> 3 + 2 + 25 = ?
<Darth-Phenom> huh?
<Darth-Phenom> 31

<dokutake> i never saw the appeal of buttsex anyway
<dokutake> i mean, receiving, there's a cock up your ass, and
if you're giving, you're getting poo on your wang

<sazeMaster> exuse me!
<+joshua> the only excuse for you is your mom wanted another
child support check

<MrP-> people say my ass is just like a girls
<MrP-> and my tits are to die for!

<radez> i tried slitting my wrist 3 days ago cuz i realized
that my life sucked but then
<radez> i wanted to watch coyote ugly