bash.org archive

<Al> people are often friendly until they learn what an
irretrievable shit-pit the world is and what a sick, worthless
collection of misshapen animals comprises the human species
<DogWelder> I like to think of it as boot camp, then hell.

Ibor132: what network u on?
engel of nien: my asshole
Ibor132: efnet then?

<Floater_21> now anyone with an internet connection and + iq
can register an aim s/n
<Floater_21> what makes you think i did it?
<X13> You are right, that would count you out of the running..
<X13> :)
<Floater_21> well there you go
<SovanJedi> ...

<Snah> I think I need to order a new laptop...
<DrPoole> sell me your old one Snah
<Snah> DrPoole: you dont want it ... I gave it a bullet when I
got mad
<BluTShirt> bullet?
<Snah> yeah, I shot my laptop
<Snah> with a 22cal.

<isajeep> dan what rules got changed this year in the nba
<isajeep> I know refs can now use replays, but what else?
<NickBlasta> no white people
<isajeep> no nick
<isajeep> they're trying to get rid of that rule

<RoboGum> mmmm, porn
<doublezero> i'd rather have a life than watch porn
<RoboGum> all you need to do is shave, get a hair cut, and
loose the gut
<doublezero> shave? naah.. hair cut? never!
<RoboGum> there's only one thing you can do then
<RoboGum> dress all in rubber and goto an "alternative" party

<Aristotles> ah yes.. ignorance is bliss..
<Aristotles> and that boy is absolutely giddy

[18:17] * +SoberGuy smacks dalnet
[18:17] <+SoberGuy> stay together u humpty dumpty of networks

*** Mezoth|work was kicked by Avie_work (the last guy that
said, "I think you know what I want" to me ended up in the
hospital. FOR SIX MONTHS.)

<Runed> soft toilet paper :)
<Runed> makes you want to sit there and wipe your ass all day
:(

<AndrewLB> So what if they are lesbians?
<AndrewLB> WOOHOO! TWO GIRLS MAKING OUT! THEIR MUSIC MUST BE
AWSOME
<JtotheB> :D
<JtotheB> Oddly enough, that's my exact reasoning.
<AndrewLB> Ya know, if you want lesbian pornography, you could
always ask
<AndrewLB> SOMEONE ELSE
<AndrewLB> >_>
<AndrewLB> <_<

<pixagen> i might be a mac zealot if i was a rich white kid
who's parents spoiled him
<pixagen> or maybe a yuppie
* natx changes topic to 'Don't hate the user, hate the shiny
luxurious girl getting industrial design.'
<pixagen> EXPENSIVE design, you fuckass
<pixagen> they need a line of UGLY systems
<pixagen> so i can buy one
<natx> yeah, ugly macs for ugly people
<natx> ugly poor people
<pixagen> hehe
<natx> wait they have those...
<natx> theyre called
<natx> DELLS
<natx> you fucktard
<pixagen> eeek
<pixagen> shut up cracker

<beamz> do they sell penis warmers like those 9volt
handwarming gloves/
<Nik> yea, they are called "hookers"

<lammah> getting your own AS:  $250  setting up your own
network:  $100k
having your upstream forward your stupid request to NANOG:
priceless
<lammah> Dear Peers/Colleagues,
<lammah> We will start to announce a new prefix:
<lammah> AS13197 192.168.0.0/16
<lammah> Please update your filters.
<lammah> Thanks,
<lammah> Reinder van Amerongen,
<lammah> Junior. System/Network Adminstrator and Senior
Cabling consultant.

<iec|brb> k why are my shoes wet?
<Lucid`> iec - cuz i missed yer cheek....

<pj325is> did you get a boner when your cousin told you about
her lesbian experiences?
<BigMilla2> no
<pj325is> ok then
<pj325is> *coughliarcough*
<Cruzn15> are you impitant?
<pj325is> impotent
<StealthBuddha> important?

<mindstorms> i do what i please and i please who i do.

* DAEMON watches the most expensive videos on mtv
<SkiTz> the most expensive is bound to be a Michael Jackson
clip.
<DAEMON> it costs a lot to buy small children on the black
market for his dressing room

<Decimus> raped any white women lately?
<Lord_Mervyn> i resent that remark
<Decimus> k
<Decimus> was she fat?

<Statutory_Sam> some of us have real lives we must attend to
occasionaly
<Statutory_Sam> ::read::"Doing Laundry"
<seafoodgod> real lives == alt-tab

<SypaNick> You get fischer price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.

<Abbazab> okay, next time ur with a chick and ur bumpin and
grindin, give a nice rub right where the leg meets the croch
and tell me that sweat doesnt smell like the back of ur nuts
<datagram`> why the fuck would you want to smell the back of
your nuts while you're fucking

[kisama] if you break out your penis in space
[kisama] your suit would depressurize
[kisama] or your body would depressurize
[kisama] and suck out all your internal organs through the
urethra

[Seth] Ow. That fucking hurt. >:|. There was this giant
snowball, like the size of a football. And it was set
perfectly like a football to be kicked.
[Seth] So being the genius I am, I kicked it. The thing was
fucking solid ice with some snow on the outside. >:\
[NooGe] Reminds me of charlie brown.

<isajeep> I was waiting for a call from one earlier, and I
fell asleep next to my server and had a nightmare about my
computer
<isajeep> an dI missed the call
<NickBlasta> what was it about?
<isajeep> im not joking...its actually really pathetic
<isajeep> I had a dream my mother was tring to run coax cable
inside my comp to get better reception
<RatBreath> sweeeet
<benutne> thats horrible
<RatBreath> isa, you should be shot for that dream

<Jon2> what's the racial slur for pakistanis?
<log> cab drivers?

<Lithium> if i buy a hardware firewall right - i just stick it
on, tell it to block all ports - tada
<Lithium> easy peasy
<stephen> all ports?
<Lithium> i aint got time to arse about isntalling software
firewalls on every machine
<Lithium> i tried before
<Noodle> there's an easier and cheaper way to block all ports
<Noodle> pull the RJ45 out :P

* [Wanking]Mind is now known as [Sex]Mindslicer
<Mouse> that's quite some improvement

<@Toys> i got allways with wings in the mail today
<@Toys> it comes with dry weave, and wings, and optional
fuckign sunroof <@Toys> i tried one on and i didn't feel
CONFIDENT
<@Toys> i felt WORRIED as fuck
<@Toys> i'm using them for coffee filters now

<fry> if there's one thing i really hate
<fry> ...it's animosity

<ngn-18> thats wherrrre i wanna go... down to kokomo
<dredg> that song reminds me of not wanting to be at summer
camp.
<dredg> AKA: wanting the camp counselor to let me put my pants
back on and leave the storage room. :(

<IceCub>  Two British Helicopters have collided
<Smerdyakov>  Cool.  Those Brits know how to have a good time.

<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a
pretty tricky business

<Beska> Look at these tom:
<Beska> SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
<Beska> FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
<Beska> ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end
points toward ceiling
<Beska> lo
<Tommy> wtf.. rotf
<Beska> SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
<Beska> FAULT: The Bar is closing.
<Beska> ACTION: Panic.
<Tommy> O.o

Quit» (ZoK) ([email protected]) (Exit: I LIKE TO GO
DOWN TO THE DOG POUND AND PRETEND I'VE FOUND MY DOG, THEN I
TELL THEM TO KILL HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE I ALREADY THREW AWAY ALL
HIS STUFF. DOG PEOPLE SURE DONT HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR.)

<mpampiz> º*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ª  hack the planet ª
ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*ºº*ª*º*
<sta-hi> ...
<sta-hi> no
<sta-hi> hack it yourself

<BeZeRK> |NEWS FLASH| ALL K-MART AND WALMART STORES WILL BE
CLOSED IN IRAQ. - they will be replaced with Targets!

<tsui-ji> gyl: go into #asian and tell em you are white, have
muscles and drive a nice car and mad chicks will msg you

<Oliver> uni is too hardcore for me
<Oliver> spent 2 days there
<Oliver> could hardly walk
<teles> lol :)
<teles> that'll teach you to visit the toilets in the art
school :p

<The_Cold> I wish it was the end of January.
<Tenchi147> it is
<Tenchi147> in japan...
<Tenchi147> in japan it's the year 2025
<The_Cold> I wish it was the end of january in North America.
<Tenchi147> it is
<Tenchi147> in canada
<Tenchi147> it's like 1805 in canada

<fruchtig> Doctors are so evil. They tell you to get in a
certain position, hide behind a wall, and let YOU soak up a
few x-rays. The doctor thinks, "Just stay there while I go
hide behind this wall and press this button for a moment while
hysterically laughing at you." And then you see that
radioactive symbol on the machine surrounding your head and
think, "Oh joy!"

<BillDcat^> bah, i find most 'religion' to be big business, if
i wanna support that, i go to Mcdonalds, where i can at least
eat
<[y]> early morning theology
<[y]> film at 11
<BillDcat^> lol
<BillDcat^> ya
<generator> so you worship ronald mcdonald and all his value
meals?
<[y]> i know i do
<BillDcat^> pretty much, that way i can have my scripture &
eat it 2
<BillDcat^> it's easy to believe in , if you can afford it

<Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
<Navix{mp3}> Death to Cid for saying: <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
* Cid{FYD} has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Lance> that was easy :P

<JohnWWells> Evening.
* JohnWWells Quit (Quit: Leaving)
<Nematocyst> it's not the EVENING
<Nematocyst> 19:29:09
<Nematocyst> ...
<Nematocyst> FUCK

* Joins: SJr|Tecra ([email protected])
<RoChess> SJr, i like your new dns, if it had a T in it, i'd
join that college

corpratewar: gah, why would somebody encode a song @ 28kbps
arkain88: Thats so small it could fit through a condom.

<hohum> when you get to the printf(); *BAM* instant coredump
followed by an suid shell
<hohum> get it?
<brandon> to a degree
* brandon isn't much on programming
<hohum> don't worry, neither are the people who write software
:)
<brandon> lol
<hohum> you'd fit right in

<@zexion> the ice age VCD sucks ass
<@zexion> the guy was jerking off while filimg the movie or
something...
<@zexion> and some asshole kept gettng up for popcorn or
something... I couldnt watch it after 10 minutes
<@zexion> gotta wait for the SVCD
<@^101> it brings the theater experince home zex
<@zexion> 101: always looking at the bright side of life eh?
:)

<murderoustroll> what do you guys think.. my freinds mum
splits neurons n shit 2night and tells me that its $3 to stay
for dinner, $1 to stay the night , prerequisites being that i
shower and strip before bed..
<murderoustroll> was i right to swear a heap n leave?

Iridium24: well my lady friend seemed excited to get my number
so we'll see
DogmaticLaw99: lol
DogmaticLaw99: see what she looks like when youre sober
Iridium24: i was DD friday night
DogmaticLaw99: ahh
Iridium24: but i totally know what you mean
Iridium24: a year ago feb when i had just turned 21
Iridium24: omg i dont know what the fuck i was thinking
Iridium24: she had this GIANT birth mark across her face
DogmaticLaw99: lol
Iridium24: i didnt notice until i called her up the next day
and i picked her up for a date
Iridium24: i almost went "holy shit what happened to your
face!"
Iridium24: and then i saw some pictures and she has clearly
had it all her life
Iridium24: i was like omg, how many drinks did i have last
night!
DogmaticLaw99: thats sad bro
Iridium24: In conclusion i go to dance clubs sober now

negativecreep973: you know that feeling you get when your
licking some randoms persons nuts and you stop to think "wow,
theres balls in my mouth and there are starving children in
africa"?

<@sniper_cs> where do you live?
<@sniper_cs> I can burn + send it
<@sniper_cs> maybe
<bobbles> about 3 metres from adsl area
<@sniper_cs> roflmao
<@sniper_cs> ouch
<bobbles> i lived here for like 8 years
<bobbles> then they finally bring adsl
<bobbles> and it stops 3 houses away
<BenZor> hahaha

<Naomi_in_Malice> ;_;
<Naomi_in_Malice> i dont like tentacle rape
<AndrewLB> Great, we have a 15yr old girl in a channel devoted
to cartoon porn.
<BloodyParrot> but what about nice tentacles?
<Naomi_in_Malice> hmm..
<Naomi_in_Malice> where can i order one?

<@Steempy> Any lettuce that isn't iceberg needs to fuck off
back to Russia
<@Steempy> Goddamn communist hipster lettuce

<Hellwarrior> I bet I can suck my own dick
<Hellwarrior> one sec

<gleep> Damn.  The internet must be screwed up.
<gleep> You know there's something wrong when you can't
download porn.

<xorg> If I say "Eject" and you say "What?", you'll be talking
to yourself.

<drbngrl> hi
<LordCow> yo
<fppe> hello there girl
<fppe> what happened to your vowels
<LordCow> cost saving
<drbngrl> what vowels
<LordCow> exactly
<fppe> she had a vowel movement
<drbngrl> what are yoll talking about

<MofieJoe> if that really is wabby's sister
<MofieJoe> he should think about fucking her

<Mr_Bandit> i defraged my screen, its cleaner now

[00:49:53] * Wynn is now known as Wynn|ZzzZ
[00:50:14] * Gothmog is now known as Goth|aslp
<Goth|aslp> nightall
<Wynn|ZzzZ> geez.. don't make it too obvious..
<Wynn|ZzzZ> at least wait 5 mins, dammnit.
<Goth|aslp> i cant. i want you i need you oh baby oh baby
<Wynn|ZzzZ> you *wish* you were Julia Stiles.
<Wynn|ZzzZ> heck, *I* wish you were Julia Stiles.
<Goth|aslp> lol

<@IchI> jfk assassination was tight
<@IchI> dallas
<@dam1en> im watching it over and over
<@IchI> they owned him
<@emo> headshot!

<[COOLIO]> could someone tell me what this error means? ->
[Thu Sep 19 04:04:31 2002] [warn] long lost child came home!
(pid 10048)
<mezcal> it means you can notify the police and tell them
everything is ok now.

<enaz> only thing worse then disenchanted, disenfranchised
arrogant american teens is disenchanted, disenfranchised
arrogant european teens with a mixer board

(nexxai) I think I'm gonna start a Fingernail Crud collection
(nexxai) some people have Celebrity Hair collections
(nexxai) mine will be fingernail crud
(nexxai) not of celebrities though...they might scratch their
ass alot or something

<Mime> It's getting hard for me now :
<Mime> Last few levels of Normal, then on to Hard.
<Mime> Atom Smasher = bastard
<Sigma> <Mime> It's getting hard for me now
<Mime> ..
<Sigma> I love those wacky out of context quotations
<Mime> ¬.¬
<MightyBlueJustice> Someone make a joke pertaining to Mime's
penis and his "getting hard" comment please.
<MightyBlueJustice> Oh, there we go.

<waffle> just forward all the mail locally
<Docter> can I echo mage > /home/kyle/.forward
<waffle> Kyle: i think
<waffle> then just finger kyle and see if it stuck
<Kevyn> Heh.

*** VirginUmboo has joined #html
<VirginUmboo> lo
<VirginUmboo> how do i gret a shocwave file in my html?
* Anapaest googles for "gret"
*** VirginUmboo has left #html

<cstine> my libido pretty much vanished after i gave up porn.
<cstine> not that it's a bad thing.
<cstine> i don't have to do as many sheets in the laundry now.
<cstine> or towels.