bash.org archive

<FHL> oh shit
<FHL> i was just jacking off and my dad was walking on the
deck <FHL> i hope he didn't look down through the window :(
<FHL> the bad part was, after i saw him in the corner of my
eye on the deck, he came back in and asked if i wanted
kielbasa for dinner

<K-sPecial> i'm trying to fork a server connection for every
client that connects
<K-sPecial> although i dont want to writ 200 forks down my
main perl script
<fxn> K-sPecial: you can limit your childs if you want
<rastakid> fxn: By using protection you mean?

<Amira_nu> hey nothing wrong with loving G-d both ways
<Melech> loving god both ways sounds rather kinky

<Deke> i figure if I can eat in a country, I speak the
language well enough

*** 10 points awarded to queen_daisy33. 'carb': (1+1+1+2)x2.
jesus_onacracker: haha
queen_daisy33: woo 10 points
queen_daisy33: take that atkins

[@agg]: fs
[@agg]: i was trying to turn on my stereo
[@agg]: for about 5 mins
[@agg]: with my tv remote

<Threeboy> neeks. i hate it when i type "~" by accident.
<Threeboy> it makes me question my sexuality.

<Dante> i was going to stamp out forum moderation facism
<Agent-Smith> And...?
<Dante> but the god damned Vb sig editor kept fucking up my
ASCII swastika >:(
<Agent-Smith> LMAO

<Izzy-chan> Update (MSNBC): Basra Surrounded by US forces.
<SirLudicrus> Update (my penis): Erect.

<maalox> The period between clicking on a link to stileproject
and waiting for the picture to load is probably the most
intense feeling since when I first penetrated myself with a 2
liter

<ian_> Speaking of shaving, I was experementing with my beard
trimmer's hair length settings so I decided to test it on my
chest hair.  Now I have a trail of missing hair going from my
crotch to my neck.  It's like you're looking from overhead at
a foreset with a trail of trees cut down.
<kierabee> your chest hair is on your crotch?
<ian_> There's no clear line of where one stops and one
begins.
<kierabee> that's a savory image
<ian_> kierabee, I can shave my ass hair and make a toupe.
<kierabee> why don't you just braid it and leave it in place?
<ian_> Can you  braid it for me?

(after a nasty couple of netsplits)
<Knux> frea,y
<Knux> freaky even
<Knux> i say i forgot i cooked two hotpockets, everyone leaves
<Knux> i finish eating the hotpocket, everyone comes back
<MaroonJung> knux, you are clearly a god

<MaDCoW> verdana is the best font ever
<Threeboy> its allright.
<Threeboy> for a web font.
<MaDCoW> well yea
<Threeboy> when it gets big it gets ugly.
<Threeboy> like a woman.

<The_Veteran> remember the reason you are an op DaMo
<Damo> coz I gave head
<The_Veteran> yes!
<The_Veteran> he admits it

<X> any windows machine i have is behind my FreeBSD router.
<X> and that's tighter than a cows ass at fly time

<%TTK> How would I start overclocking
<mikeszewil> don't know
<+Fizban30> first
<+Fizban30> open the box
<+Fizban30> make sure its on
<+Fizban30> and stick a knife in random spots
<+Fizban30> when you feel the zap your done

Pat877:    nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877:    ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877:    i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877:    dick

<mrkikass> i mean if she took her pants off im sure id get
plenty of energy real quick but other than that i didnt feel
like it

<femakita> I'm fuckable! I deserve bling!

<@Tezz[a]> My Daddy got a paper shredder for Father's Day
<@Tezz[a]> Guess what's happening to all my school notes? >:D
<@Giess> We got ours a barbecue.

<hypr> i need jewcases or like paper or plastic things to put
cds in :.

<Red_Squirrel> Jeff [Hardy] could get caught backstage
sleeping with every diva and KO would still find a way to
label him gay ^_^
<dubchu> ...every diva *at the same time*, yo.
<DaimaijeD> He DOES paint pretty blue swirlies on himself with
what looks like pudding.
<DaimaijeD> When you smear yourself with blue pudding in
preparation to meet a guy in tights, there's something amiss.

<Joe_> <DarkVeng> if you wanna just be a yesman, there are
thousands of jobs in corporate amercia that have better hours
and better pay for less work  <-- where are they?
<Technogeek> Enron.

<Affe> i got a dual head card today
<Arcane> what kind of dualhead card?
<Affe> radeon
<cardian> they make a radeon dual head?
<cardian> which one
<Affe> i dunno
<cardian> you dont know which card you bought?
<cardian> were you high?
<Affe> no
<Affe> it was a trade for services
<cardian> ahh
<Arcane> blowjob?
<Arcane> it musta been shitty head if they gave you a radeon
<cardian> hhaaahha

<Kerrick> Thank you for installing the newest in microsoft
products: Microsoft Church
<Kerrick> Error! file: pope.bmp contains corrupt data, and
cannot load
<Kerrick> Please follow these simple steps so we can customize
Microsoft Church to your liking
<Kerrick> Step 1: Which of your children would you like to be
molested? []Billy  []Michael  []Timmy
<Kerrick> Step 2: with the addition of papyal tithing is even
easier! (to continue donate 1/10 of your salary via the paypal
button)
<Kerrick> Step 3: Microsoft church will go inot full screen
mode and cannot be closed for 2 hours every Sunday []morning
[]afternoon []night
<Kerrick> Thank you for setting up microsoft church!

<PARAD0X> what if I dont have 8 mb ram, or am not capable of
16 colors on the graphics card.
<Xalnop> if you don't have 8 mb of ram, you can't be connected
to the internet... it's a rule

* Silkenray eats a burnt cookie
<Silkenray> I'll pretend I didn't just clean up the
eviscerated remains of my mother's used feminine hygeine
products which my puppy distributed around the house.
<JDigital> Are you sure that was a cookie? >_<
<Silkenray> I know it was a cookie.
<Silkenray> My mother just baked it.
<JDigital> ...or pulled it out of her panties! Can you really
be sure?

<Chikster>Does anyone know if I can DL a complete version of
photoshop on the net?
<Gary> They have photoshop on Pcs...
<Chikster> God why do newbies all try an help me..

<Mr_BoGgLeS> she said you looked edible mosey..
<Mousey> well boggles
<Mousey> if she thinks im edible
<Mousey> she probably is fat
<Mousey> i have no fat on me
<Mousey> eating me would be like going on a diet

<jGoo> i wish when you guessed a channels key it didnt say
(need correct key), i recon it should say things like (warmer)
(WARMER) (HOT!!)
<jGoo> .....?
<jGoo> does this nick make me look fat?

<demit> oh my confidence in pac bell hosting is SO high..
quote from support
guy about the pop server disconnecting ONE of 32 users here
'well sir your
tcip session is your internet connection, it has nothing to
do with our
servers'

<Joe> my friend told me to google kurea hasumi
<Joe> and I did
<Joe> that was a mistake
<Denwa> Don't like jav's, Joe?
<Joe> no, by mistake I mean I have 27 active torrents running
now

<Ronald_MacK> You kids are stupider than stupid.
<Ronald_MacK> You're like... the anti-smart.
<Ronald_MacK> Come to this realm to destroy all that is
intelligent and reasonable.

<DiNky> hey guys
<DiNky> anyone have the black heaven soundtrack?
<DiNky> anyone?"
<DiNky> I'm looking for the song they play in the last ep
<DiNky> ne1?
<Parak> ack, you used ne1...
<DiNky> so?
<Parak> that term is so...20th century
<Parak> this day and age, we use something like //e| |-|4/
3z0rz T|-||z z0ngz0rz?!$!@!!!111

<Mdar> I see ads for anti-depresents
<Mdar> side effects, constipation and insomnia
<Auri> somehow, I think constipation and insomnia would
contribute to depression...
<Mdar> yeah
<Mdar> do I want to make love with a knife, or not sleep and
shit...

<@jade> i wanna jenny jones makeover
<@skold> 1-800-96-jenny?
<@jade> NOT JENNY CRAIG

<trixie> do you want to seo ther peics?
<trixie> see**
<Allio> whose pics?
<trixie> other**
<trixie> pics**
<trixie> fuckin hell isuck
<trixie> suck******

<alec_eso> however my balls remain dry and that makes me
somewhat sad.

<helminthes> omg, i was about to walk into class today but it
wasn't until right before i opened the door that i realized i
wasn't wearing pants, but i didn't go home i went ahead and
dealt with it and lo and behold, there was a test in that
class that i hadn't studied for at all.  so i jumped out the
window and right when i hit the ground my cell phone went off
<hakan> yipes
<rafeil> yeh
<helminthes> and that's how it all started
<helminthes> how was your day

(dx) i once ordered sears siding for the condo complex across
the street
(dx) they showed up
(dx) and knocked on the first condo
(dx) and the dude called the landlord
(dx) and he comes out
(dx) and starts screaming at them
(dx) sears calls me back and asks whats wrong and i told them
i had no idea what they were talking aboit
(dx) sears never called me again
(dx) :)

<Tarl> Never try and whack off to TV commercials btw.
<Tarl> Because eventually, the old republican woman will come
on to bitch about demoncrats while you're doing it.
<Tarl> And you'll just explode, in a bad way.

<Chi>: So we went to the pool hall last Wednesday...
<Chi>: I ended up paying for everyone when we finished.
<Chi>: Everyone asked how much it cost afterwards.
<Chi>: I told them that I used my Asian powers to get no
charge.
<Chi>: Then on our way down the stairs...
<Chi>: I jumped onto the carpet in front of the door and
exclaimed...
<Chi>: "Okay Abz, time to use your Arabian powers to fly us
home!"
<Chinh>: did it work?
<Chi>: No, the carpet was black.
<Chinh>: zing!

<Robotzombie> love is never having to say I wish you didn't
have a nutsack
<Robotzombie> well, maybe it's not

<weebl> i might have a meet saturday morning
<weebl> cuz of that fucker
<weebl> who took a shit in wakefield's pool
<weebl> the remeet might be like, 8 in the fuckin' morning
<DoubleHelix> LOL!
<DoubleHelix> someone drop'd a deuce in the pool!
<DoubleHelix> lol
<DoubleHelix> wtf is that shit
<weebl> yeah
<weebl> and they didn't notice till after the divers had gone
<DoubleHelix> HAHAH!

<LinuxWolf> I love my stuffed tux
<RichiH> LinuxWolf: as long as you don't love-stuff your
tux...

Bug> (That really happened to a friend of mine. Her pitbull
used her friend's dildo as a rawhide bone..)

<Arkrite> Man, somebody got obsessive over trying to crack my
firewall :~P
* @Death-Blade wistles innocently
<@Death-Blade> :P
* Arkrite slides away from DB.
<Arkrite> You're about as innocent as I am. Which is to say
we're not ;~)
<@Death-Blade> lol
<Sinclair-> nah, DB's cool
<Sinclair-> you're a man whore
<Sinclair-> ask Spaz, he'll vouch
<Arkrite> Okay, the concept of "whore" involves me giveing or
getting some.
<Sinclair-> yeah..
<Sinclair-> your hand doesnt count
<Arkrite> Which, as everybody knows, simply dosn't happen.
<Arkrite> So basically you're not even insulting me in an
efficient manner.
<Arkrite> Come on, try harder, you can do it ;~)
<Sinclair-> ok
<Sinclair-> tubby bitch

<Enfilade> Being gay would be kind of cool. Maybe then I
wouldn't feel so guilty when looking at shemale porn

<Alberto> "The New Year tradition is offensive to many ethnic
groups."
<Rev> In order to not offend the Chinese, do you think they
should call it "Happy New Time Unit" for the sake of political
correctness?
<Alberto> Yep
<Destruya> Well, now that the holiday season is over, we can
get back to only caring about ourselves.
<Destruya> YAY SELFISHNESS AND THE AMERICAN WAY

* moeser looks you up and down   
* moeser whistles   
<moeser> nice transfer rates... yow!

lope767: watch out man
lope767: she'll eat u hole
lope767: err
lope767: whole
FKing Windows: I was sort of hoping for both.

<bender_> lol.. Like 2 women on PMS
<Khafra> Alright, can someone help me with my actual problem
before I start craving chocolate then?
<bender_> (I assume there are no women on this channel...)
*Khafra looks at the extensive list of users
<Khafra> Statistically, probably not

<Kethry> Leida, you're more than a trend now
<Leida> what am i now? what can there possibly be above a
trend?
<Sensai-Sakiya> god? immortal? person worshiped by all?
<Leida> you are all worshipping me?
<Ibaimendi> I never realized the line between abuse and
worship was so thin.

<je> my PC died completely as it booted tonight .. lights come
on but nothing happens
<je> now I'm stuck with ye olde PC that doesn't even have a
good enough vid card to show flesh tones
<reverend> stop looking at pr0n

<ZenAmako> Because time really flies, and before you know it,
6, 7 months have passed...
<rogueWIRC> zen: paternity suit?

<matthiaskrgr> had to have my arm amputated
<matthiaskrgr> on the other hand, I am completely fine

<MegamanX2K> Heh, I wonder what my mom'll think when she sees
my Dune 2000 T Shirt.
<MegamanX2K> "Long life the fighters? Arabs? WTF, my son's a
terrorist!"

<icas0r> somsone do a stats on decoded
<icas0r> i think he a fed =[
<rightie> nah feds only have Netzero for their isp
<rightie> they cut back on funding

WhitePony) I want to upgrade my t3 connection to a cable
modem, where do i download the patch?

<Fogie> not a tivo, just a creative labs tv tuner card with
tivo-like functionality
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if i had that card fogie, i would rip
the trinity broadcasing network 24/7
<Fogie> what is that, pr0n?
<AlienCrimeSyndicate> if televangelists for jesus = pr0n, then
yes
<Fogie> to each his own
<Fogie> somewhere in America a man is jerking off to jesus

<roric23> i just pulled an elastic thread out of my sock and
now I'm flossing with it :)
<Pace|Around> yay for Sock Floss
<rigelIsGood> Dude, that is kinda gross.
<roric23> well, yeah. it does sort of have that sock-like
flavor to it
<roric23> not that I taste socks for a living or anything
<Pace|Around> Well, if you ever want to, you now have
something to put on your resume

(+Jimbo1`friends) where did my savior go
(@Monoxide) did you try the hill top?
(@Monoxide) i heard he was hanging around there

<Harrit> dv you arround?
<Bionic_6> digital video it all around us
<Bionic_6> it's in the air u breathe
<Bionic_6> the water u drink
<Bionic_6> the unconcisous girl u fuck
<Bionic_6> everywhere
<Harrit> dv8... you still around?
<Harrit> smart ass

<Maltagal> hi
<Ace> sup
<Maltagal> r u over 40
<Ace> haha no
<Maltagal> well i was going to see what u r like b/c my mum is
single

<Zer0th> You know you irc too much, when you don't have to
read bash.org anymore, cause you allready know all the
quotes...

<IceWizard> it doesnt take a girl to suck a dick

<czechreck> Well I bribed the misses to pick us up from the
pub with a
bottle of southern comfort
<czechreck> Apparently I made a boo-boo during drunken sex
with her
tho
<czechreck> I told her I'd 'had better'

<orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible
<orion> someone explain please
<timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2?
<Duker900> natural selection in your operating system!
<timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called
darwin run my computer
<timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch
<timmo> and it would be like
<timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH
<timmo> and delete your shit

[15:30:32] ------- <miro> anyone remember the dot com
explosion ads? "congratulations, you are 7662786493's visitor
to this site, click this space to close this window and claim
your prize
[15:30:54] ------ <Magus> "If this is flashing, you've won!"
[15:30:54] ---- <cortana> miro: if this banner is flashing you
are a WINNER!
[15:30:54] ------ <Kurin> "If this is flashing, you're a
winner!"