bash.org archive

<CiTay> and remember, some people are that stupid about every
possible aspect of a PC... hardware and software
<CiTay> my granduncle, for instance...
<CiTay> got a virus from the internet and wanted to erase his
hard disk. he built it out and used a strong magnet for the
task.
<CiTay> amazingly, the disk lived
<CiTay> he was surprised to hear that one can erase hard disk
using special software, such as format.com.

<O.J.> Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General
Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy
scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As
follows
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: So, General Reinwald, what things are
you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: We're going to teach them climbing,
canoeing, archery, and shooting.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible,
isn't it?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see why, they'll be properly
supervised on the rifle range.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: Don't you admit that this is a terribly
dangerous activity to be teaching children?
<GENERAL REINWALD>: I don't see how. We will be teaching them
proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
<FEMALE INTERVIEWER>: But you're equipping them to become
violent killers.
<GENERAL REINWALD>: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute,
but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love
the Marines!

<les_savy_fav> all i know is mr.Ed was really a mr, because he
went on to have a distinguished career as a porno actor in
denmark

<Jenna> how was your weekend?
<ChrisLTD> it was good!
<ChrisLTD> no unprotected sex though
<ChrisLTD> very sad
<Jenna> oh, so sorry, i know how important meeting the
unprotected sex quota is

<Myst> ez mac? is that a pimping kit or something?
* Myst just pictures this pimp on the box with gold teeth and
oversized sunglasses give you on the thumbs up
<Myst> free faux gold oversized neckchain with 10 proof of
purchases

<D4NG3R0U5> i was supposed to be at work yesterday...
<D4NG3R0U5> thank you, irc!

<Ac|D> i said send it to me on cd
<Ac|D> not over irc
<voltstfu> dicksuckin' tramp. no im not sending you a 38meg
file via australia post
<Ac|D> fillup the cd with other shit then
<voltstfu> i have not much of interest
<voltstfu> unless you've never seen a german shepherd do a
woman missionary style
<Ac|D> haha

<jusque> neva let a girl give you head with gum in her mouth
it hurts when you have to take gum outta youre pubes

<JangFizett> bleh, I'm hungry
<Bill> Eat a Dick
<JangoFizett> I wish I was that flexible

<zeron> :))))))))))
<ckx> that looks like icewizard smiling
<ckx> all 50 chins

<KidDynamite> my tribes2 updater is out of date and i need to
update my updater

<Xan> I wish I had a time machine
<Xan> I would write in the bible "....and every sunday send $5
to <my address>"
<Xan> "If you don't you'll go to hell"

<bob[notn00bsoft]> i can make better games then you. i just
need help with the engine and graphics and stuff
<Sarthek> So you're better than us at making games...
<Tempyst> So in otherwords you need us to do everything for
you, and then you take credit.
<Tempyst> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, MISTAR

<Mechpilot> I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday and
he made an interesting comment, he said "It's easier to get
laid in a college dorm than in a Thai brothel", I wish I'd
stayed in school.

<Nomel> i'll have to bring it over later today...we can go for
a ride...
<Nomel> its funny stopping fast in front of people...cause
there like..oh shit...its a pinto...its gunna blow....but that
only works on old people...
<Nomel> cause the young ones dont know what pintos look
like...

@(TekU4iA) btw
@(TekU4iA) its 195bpm
@(TekU4iA) thanks
@(TekU4iA) K
(thebigo) 195?
(thebigo) who do you think you are? squarepusher?

<D`Espice> root, god, what's the difference anyway?

<@Daybreaker> bah
<@Daybreaker> i got sick oF that bin laden game the first time
i played it
<@Daybreaker> like a year ago
<@Daybreaker> fuck flash games
<@Blur> hentai?
<@Daybreaker> shush
<@Daybreaker> i caN't stand a game where the difficulty levels
are "poorly made" "badly made" and "free 15 day macromedia
preview"
<@Blur> lol
<@Daybreaker> fuck all that

<Petersen> trying to fit in irc, social life and work
<Petersen> no time for sleep
<Z59B> irc, IS social life? isnt it?

<N41LGuN> You're a gay dumbass.
<SaxxonPike> yeah
<SaxxonPike> RIGHT
<SaxxonPike> NO I mean YEAH RIGHT
<N41LGuN> uh huh.

<KonamiKid> kris, i'm gonna email you pictures of my wang
<zat> hah
<KonamiKid> it will have little eyes and a moustache drawn on
it
<KonamiKid> but no stick on eyes/mustache...
<Kris> gee, thanks KK
<KonamiKid> i made that mistake once before...
<KonamiKid> i had to soak my cock in a glass of alcohol to get
the sticker to come off

Maelstrom III: i think valentines day is ddosing hallmark.com

<evLvsJim> scientest jed wants to battle 
<evLvsJim> what scientist is called jed?

<MikEE-Boy> shit. girls in #mp3rave are like gum in elementary
school. you
bring some for yourself, you better have one for everybody.

[@ToastyX] I almost typed cd / to try to leave a channel

<@[R-Dk]FoRbiDDeN> this litte arrow thing keeps following my
mouse, and I can't make it go away.

<eric> ...whered #goatsex go?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> mommy, where do cheerleaders come from?
<PyroP> hell.
<eric> ...whats lleh backwards?
<LdySaphyre> cheerleader.

<@Dilandou> http://www.boldlygoingnowhere.net/safetyfirst.WMV
<-- LMFAO!
* Dilandou laughs like hell
<@Dilandou> i love that guy's robot dance. ^_^
<@Dilandou> he took his top off
<@Dilandou> omfg
<@Dilandou> LMFAO
<+usrbingeek> After watching that video I got to thinking that
there are people in some parts of the world that are
unfortunate to not be able to afford bandwidth and look how we
waste it!

(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, &
worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of
course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P

<Sumez> I must admit having two functional penises must have
it advantages
<Darth-Phenom> You could fuck a woman and piss at the same
time?
<Yolkhead> Would you really want to pee while having sex?
<Sumez> You miss to see the opportunities

<sayza> Bug: Popup menus appear in strange places
<sayza> Resolution: Turn off "smart window placement"

<Jugulator> i need meat
<Yogi> meat is the bread of life

<Dr_DOS> SURGEON GENERALS WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO IRC
CAN CAUSE BIRTH COMPLICATIONS, BRAIN TUMORS, AND MAY CAUSE
DEATH

<UnKn|ilc|n1rv> If i was a really good artist, i would just
draw pictures of naked women and beat off to them

<Evolgrande> Who needs hoes if you have 2000 watts of bass?

<Gin> Cocaine is white
<Gin> Marijuana is green
<Gin> So won't you please be
<Gin> My drug lord queen
<Gin> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

<athie`away> there is nothing wrong with touching yourself
especially if you havent had and never will have sex

<Alien8or> I was using a silicon gel to jack off. i had a
little accident.
<Alien8or> i was really rushing and then when I cummed i rest
for a bit. The silicon dried and where the silicon squished
between my fingers are little spieks. I got a spiked cock!
<Alien8or> heh, wait, its spiked Darth Maul style, this owns!

(lara`) i wanna die
(lara`) just like jesus christ
(Ic3zero) whats stopping u
(Ic3zero) ppl cant carry u up the hill?

<Oli> i havent got my email yet.
<Rossell> Oli: That the police found your gay card?
<Reid> You need a CARD now?
<Reid> Where do I, umm, obtain one?
<Rossell> Parliament

<Pigsbig78> my chat up line is "awk chmod grep"
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: mine is 'omg, you whore, someone chmod
a+x your-vagina'
<Darkroot> Pigsbig78: omg, you bitch! mv possessions outside;
chown %n car; chmod 600 car; echo 'int main(void) { printf
("x25sn", "haha, you bitch!!n"); }' > meep.c; gcc meep.c -o
meep; ./meep

<@Stakker> argh. our CTO just came from Game Designers
Convention in the US. our games are too complicated for
americans. they're asking for one-button conversions :-D

<Rjx> How to get laid? Uninstall Linux.
<Rjx> case closed

* Digi disconnects
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Digi> I HAVE DISCONNECTED DAMMIT D:

<martin> USER     TTY      FROM              LOGIN@   IDLE  
JCPU   PCPU  WHAT
<martin> martin   :0       -                 8:19pm   ?    
0.00s   ?     -
<martin> god      pts/2    h-69-3-170-235.n 11:03pm  0.00s 
0.07s  0.07s  -lynx www.worldtranssexuals.com
<Nikita> umm
<Nikita> why a text browser?
<martin> i dunno
<Nikita> lamo
<martin> =/
<GOD> damn it, can't I look at your father in peace?

DaveyHasAFetish: I hate women because I hear my mom
masturbate.

<Dek> i have jackass downloaded
<Killrbyte> Dek: I downloaded JackAss.  It was actually Fight
Club.  Fucking morons.
<Dek> i was trying to download porn and got jackass....go
figure

<kisama_> sequenced aantoehr dj snow taracck
<kisama_> TRIZACK WILL BE UPLOADED IN 1:10
<Amanda`> ...but no one will listen to it in a million years

* Quits: Infra ([email protected]) (Killed
(NickServ (GHOST command used by Infra-)))
* Infra- is now known as Infra
* Infra  >>>  Auto Ghost Command Used On  Infra
<souletr> so do you really have to announce it?
<souletr> thats like fucking someone and afterwards saying
"hey, i fucked you"

<yegz> styric : pick one question
<yegz> and ask
<styric> which question

<tay> oops I did it again... I klined your bot... and then
smoked some pot.. oh baby baby..

<cYner> you know, some times, I get all head fuct and then I
type something and forget to hit enter, then after about 5 min
it's not even part of the conversation anymore, then I just
clear the line and all is well.

[!] @Techdude kisses doll sooooooo hard, there is an instant
netsplit
[!] Quit: L|z\[email protected]\
[[Netherlands.Worldircnet.com staff.worldircnet.com]]
[!] Quit: Amy\[email protected]\
[[Netherlands.Worldircnet.com staff.worldircnet.com]]

<@Moonpie> if you get into an rpg battle with the plastic wrap
around some sort of food you are the more stereotypical nerd
in the world
<+silv|LUNCH> it wasn't an rpg battle

<Haz> started my internship today
<Haz> they banged a gong no less than six times first thing in
the morning after a meeting
<fwilson> yeah, that's part of agile

<b1u3> they should have a tv station that randomly joins and
broadcasts dalnet rooms...nerds everywhere would afk irc to
watch and judge other nerds from afar

<ddMom>i just don't think that telling any woman to forcibly
insert an object up her anus.. is something that should go
without consequences.
<ddDad> I say we buy him a moped.

<Sugoi-Cless> Lat! what have I told you about eating packets
of gravy you find in parking lots!?
<Latino|Working> the same thing you told me about peeing in
the sink cless  <Latino|Working> "its fine if no ones around"

<CitizenC> The "P" in "#P-Raves" stands for "get the fuck out
of our channel, bitch!"

<Crysanna> might as well give up on port 137 there. You are
making my computer yawn
<cameron> iknow but im almost in
<PC^God> HHAHAHA
<Crysanna> PC^God - didn't you know that if you keep hammering
137 it eventually gives up and lets you in? hahaha

<fyre> i have 8 rack units in my pants ready to scale and meet
vertical markets
<fyre> say that to her@!
<fyre> "lets see how you perform under load"

<H|G> wo da hells dat
<MoonHawk> whats balls?
<Marcus`> you don't know what balls are?
<H|G> no
<MoonHawk> Marcus`  no i dont
<H|G> we dont have it here
<Marcus`> you guys don't have balls in france?
<H|G> i guess not
<_PhAnTaSm> I think they only have bawls in north america.

*** Meeko has joined #Animorphs
<Meeko> ennnik!
<Meeko> I've been pantsed while commando!
<Meeko> "What an interesting turn of events."  "THEY'RE FLESH
COLORED UNDERWEAR."  "God, I wish."
<Meeko> So now I'm holed up inside for the rest of today,
nurturing my wounded pride.

[ LeftRight]: Her ass has been bitten soo many times doctors
use it to identify dead people

<michael-> Of the city's 11,500 firefighters, 2.7 percent are
black and 3.2 percent Hispanic
<michael-> reeediculous
<maff> that's because their darker skin color attracts the
heat

<djm> irc's my anti-drug

(jmd_) %lb chameleo
(jmd_) dead bot?
(@seymour) read the topic. we moved.
(jmd_) oh, goody
(jmd_) so long efnet, and thanks for all the splits

<naomi19> Hey sweetness , do u wana get paid to be online?
<GetPunk> i wanna get paid to be on you

<HackerJoe^Away> hell, don't you guys ever read isonewz or
nforce... how did you get in here?
<TheBrax> I used packetne*s (just in case it's a bad word) and
xdccspy
*** mfer sets mode: +b *!*@DAABE17B37.addictz.net
*** TheBrax was kicked by mfer (*xdccspy* - word not allowd in
#Datavault - 5 mins Ban.)