bash.org archive

<@Mi3Z> and im only on 56k
<@Mi3Z> takes about 2 hourse for win2k SP3 on this
<@Mi3Z> hours*
<@Cheez> 2 horses for a service pack?
<@Cheez> doesnt sound like a fair deal to me
<@Mi3Z> yea i know
<@Mi3Z> they rip you off like fuck, you know what MS are like
<@Cheez> still, winXP SP1 checks to see if the horses are
stolen :o

<Mhoram> I'll just say, anus is an aquired taste

<eukaunba> I cried when I had no shoes... but then I met a man
who had no feet, and then I laughed.. REALLY hard

<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS

<Chrizto> I had too much of this hot sauce last night called
"scorned woman"

DiamondbacksNo1Fan : Heh.
DiamondbacksNo1Fan : Theoretically, the human brain could act
as quite the processor.
Eluorn : Theoretically.
can_of_mtdew : yeah, but a processor can't act like a human
brain
DiamondbacksNo1Fan : We're talking in the terahertz range.
Eluorn : You plug your brain into a computer then plug it into
the wall, and try to run Unreal Tournament 2k3
Eldoran : Err I dunno...
Eluorn : Blam. Instant South American dinner.

<migas> is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?
<Kurin> 58.9331
<Kurin> er
<Kurin> 58.9332
<Kurin> Or, hrm
<Kurin> http://www.yaksic.com/other.html
<ninj4_> dood, its a robot, hes not actually looking for an
answer
<Kurin> Really?  Fuck em
<Kurin> me

<Wee_AL> ah well im prosb gona buy the new RHCP album
<Wee_AL> actully shit ill just borrow it
<Wee_AL> no cash
<DjSatansfury> im probably just gonna have a wank, and listen
to myself moan as i cum, 'cause it'll sound the fucking same

h4zin: Auuuuuuuuuugh
h4zin: i got fucking dumped. already.
h4zin: at least her T1 was firewalled, so its not like i could
have gotten anything out of her anyway

[zerra] Just employ a number of chinese ppl and have them
memorise ones and zeros..
[zerra] or force them to do that
[@opeth] you gotta get one named Ping
[@opeth] for network maintenance

* osmaker wonders if u have a broken software CD and email it
back to the 'publisher', if they will replace it for free.
<Gnimsh> Publisher=MS?
<osmaker> sure
<osmaker> any publisher
<Gnimsh> How do you email them a cd?
<osmaker> dunno for sure

<Hard[D]isk> you know what the first sign of AIDs is, dont
you?
<KillZaw> no what
<Hard[D]isk> a pounding sensation in your ass..

<Neris|triggermehappy> Well, if you count the number of times
ive been cyber-uNFed , half the population of ffo would be in
jail =P
<Locke> Telling you to fuck off doesn't count as uNFing.

(Omnicronx): i overclocked my penis and it caught on fire

<Disciple> i'd give head to a guy before I'd kiss him

<intra> I get to drop off kristin's bag... that reminds me, i
get to smell her clothes tonight before I go to bed.

* BlueDust shudders as u tuch her wet pussy
* Voice-From-The-Toilet beats Seaker up with a power tool
* BlueDust ([email protected]) has left #5fm
<Seaker> BWAHAHAHAHAHA
<Voice-From-The-Toilet> heya blekwissird
<Seaker> Bluedust obviously had the wrong window open for that
1
<Seaker> wahaha

<BTox> wow... oi can see the reflection of my fingers on the
monitor..
so i can watch myself type and it looks really weird. "how do
i do that?!"
<ShaneBe> it really is amazing
<ShaneBe> to see peop;e ty[e

<Mr_Joshua> no, they take those silicone bags & put them in
boxes with electronic equipment after writing "do not eat" all
over them.
<juvenile> ...
<juvenile> Is that really a problem?

<noodle> the more i remember school, the more it seems now
like a 7 hour a day job that i didnt get paid for
<Wwv> no taxes either tho

<Vulpes> I know somewhere out there is a man or woman willing
to have sex with me while I remain on IRC.

<timovgod> Man, when I saw they said they were going to add
color to the $20 bill I thought the meant they were replacing
Jackson with Al Sharton

<rising> wow this room is full of losers
<Bored_Catboy> rising, your on IRC....

<Miro-kun> My karma ran over your dogma

<Potrod> you get buffy episodes from newsgroups?
<Killa> newsgroups are like, the primary source for anything
big
<Uncle_Tobias> My penis is all over newsgroups

<cams> eewwww
<cams> my mom got that easy squirt shit
<cams> purple ketchup
<nzc> now you can be flaming while you eat, too.

<usunoro>  so how's the webcam working?
<NeWaVe>  it worked good
<NeWaVe>  i only turn it on everyso often
<NeWaVe>  like when im talking to alice
<fuchikoma>  or soliciting men to buy you things on your
amazon.com wishlist

<flawed> they got a weight loss patch now
<flawed> if you're a sexually active fat chick who also
smokes, you could be wearing three patches.. one for weight
loss, one for birth control and one for quitting smoking
<NuFrost> patent the multipatch(tm)

<FPT-[away]> crotch fires and you: the untold story.

<jZSAURONZj> Oh Cool, someone sent me a Video clip of Punky
Brewster all grown up and feeling herself up
<jZSAURONZj> I love friends

<Lisanne> oh FFS now my cdrom wont close
<red_one> Lisanne: take the cup out first ;)
<Lisanne> har har

<matt> if you rip that girls head off and put on a good better
looking head she' wouldnt be half bad

<Omegaquila> 3 2 1
<normanpennyworth> whenever someone goes 3 2 1 that's my cue
to BREAK IT DOWN

<Molson> Yeah...Good idea
<Jouka> Hell bitch the wieght would drop like hell
<Molson> I see it now:   Ultra-Diet, lose over 50 pounds in a
month
<Molson> Course no where on the bottle tell them they are
ingesting tape worm eggs.

<+Psylent> It turned out to be a good night in any case
<+Psylent> and yes, this is all a thinly veiled ruse to boast
about my new girlfriend
<SteamedHams> you can't use irc AND have sex
<SteamedHams> irc shoots out invisible rays that kill your
sperm
<egg> that's good
<+Psylent> that's very good
<egg> you don't need to use protection
<SteamedHams> yeah, let the aids flow
<egg> he's not african
<SteamedHams> ahaha, his girlfriend knows that better than
anyone

<M`> wtf is scat
<M`> i cant find it on google
<Insanity|sleep> Mikey.
<SoulWeef[a]r> Hang on
<M`> and i am eating a strawberry cream cicle so i fear
clicking on any images
<Insanity|sleep> playing with shit.
<M`> oh duh
<SoulWeef[a]r> No
<SoulWeef[a]r> Eating shit
<M`> eating shit is nothing to me
<M`> WAIT!
<M`> omg. dont take that the wrong way

<Ilya> derrickh, do you know these women that stick oranges
into their rectums? they should NOT be allowed to do THAT with
their own body!
<derrickh> A bunch of men sitting in washington have no right
to tell a woman what she can or cant do with her body.

<manaani> Insy gave me a 30gb Hard drive
<panth`afk> how many times did you buttrape for that?
<manaani> 12
<manaani> err
<manaani> 0

<sydneycarton> Hey you are what you eat
* Abstruse points at sydney..."COCK!!"

<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either
:

<lunacrow> nobody makes porn for women
<lunacrow> ever
<lunacrow> when have you ever seen any
<Destruya> Actually, one woman did.
<lunacrow> one woman
<Destruya> I can't remember the name.
<lunacrow> exactly
<lunacrow> yet women look at porn
<Destruya> http://www.royalle.com/
<lunacrow> "As you peruse my various pages, you'll not only
find my catalog of couples movies with a woman's touch, you'll
also read about my thoughts on sex, romance, eroticism and
life in general."
<lunacrow> i already know these movies will suck
<Destruya> hahahah

<Loc-Dog> which is probably a good indication that he likes
gaynal sex
<SantaClaws> i'll stick with the bitches part, thanks
<Loc-Dog> SantaClaws: sweet! ahmed's ass was getting loose
anyway
<Loc-Dog> a: you no longer have to play the bitches part....
SantaClaws volunteered
*** SantaClaws curses not thinking before he speaks

Merimack05: like, how far away are you from st. louis?
flynmonkeysattac: dunnu.  i live south of st. louis.  about a
15 minute drive from st. louis
Merimack05: ok, your loser
Merimack05: *closer
flynmonkeysattac: are u sure that was a typo?

<trunck> i miss the times when i had my 2 dumps
<trunck> didn't need to go anywhere
<trunck> had everything in 2 ftps
<trunck> 100+k
<trunck> download
<trunck> now i suck
* Nec unzips his pants
<Nec> go ahead

<Paeyl> Sometimes I yearn for the peace and simplicity of a
low-stress startup job

<mog> I take pride in being completly bitter and cynical
<BosTony> I take pride in the fact that Ive gone 5 weeks
without an STD.
<mog> and getting pissed off at the smallest aspects of
society
<mog> like personalized license plates
<PsykadelicAngel> Tony, we're so proud
<Jennilala> I'm getting one.
<Jennilala> :P
<BosTony> An STD?
<Jennilala> no
<mog> ahaha

<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
<Glitch> lol, of what?
<tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?

<EuroBrew> what is it with you people and your fascination
with buttsex? you guys talk about it all the time, if you are
gay just come out and say it already
<EuroBrew> i just think you guys have some sexual identity
issues if you go around saying shit like /me unfs chips and /
me wants zee buttsex, and of course the ever popular /me licks
teh cum off your wang

<hypr> digdug: i bet you have your beeper auto go off when
somebody adds a quote cause your a supernerd

<PS_GAMER> Neill, just to be sure, that text compression
problem with SD3 is a thing of the past, correct?
<Neill1712> PS: Well, I killed the text compression. But now
the text compression's big brother is hiring someone to kill
me, so I'll keep you posted
<PS_GAMER> Thanks.

<matanle> can someone help me use the trainer for mafia, i
never used a trainer before?
<bobFoo> go get the trainer trainer

<TexacoForKids> you need a good pickup line.. like "so you
putting out
or what?"

<landen:#math> It was started by Carl Sagan. For astronomers
there is not a lot of difference between 10^9 and 10^12.
<asphyxia:#math> yeah, only three zeros

<DarkMatter> THE FIRST COMMANDMENT
<DarkMatter> THOU SHALT NOT HAVE ANY OTHER GODS BEFORE ME.
<DarkMatter> THE SECOND COMMANDMENT
<DarkMatter> STAY OUT OF MY F****** BEER.

<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT.....

<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to
please a man ? A man or a woman ?
<Sway> damn right
<Sway> a man
<Sway> a rough and hairy man
<Sultan> Your sick, lol
<DarQ> That's not sick...
<DarQ> That's being realistic.

<DrShipman> i fuckin hate workin sundays man!!!
<DrShipman> every asshole and his dog is out on a sunday
<Jester> 'sup, spoilt for choice? :P

<diospadre> NO MORE FINALS
<diospadre> im done.
<BuddyLee> good then go update
<diospadre> no must christmas shop
<BuddyLee> no staff job comes first
<diospadre> no buying stuff comes first cant let the
terrorists win
<BuddyLee> LOL!\

DukeMalisto: huh?
DukeMalisto: i've been/am watching black hawk down.
DukeMalisto: later
Lockee: timestamps would help]
Lockee: i said that like 2 hours ago ;P
Lockee: but, hey, i assumed you were there, my bad
Lockee: damn, leaving already?  nobody to talk to here but me
and my dick
Lockee: and we aint on speakin' terms since the mason jar
incident....

<SeXaH> damn i broke my g-string
<SeXaH> oh hrmz
<SeXaH> that looks bad
<SeXaH> i ment the g-string from my guitar

[ @Sin|ion ] it's very hard to take down the internet
[ @Sin|ion ] cuz it's not just one server

<trog> one day, I'm gonna find the guy that created polaris,
and shove bright colourful things down his throat til he
chokes on them

<Koobze> hiii
<Koobze> I'm kind of angry at my friends... I paid the $50 for
the hair bleach and dye, since one or two of them were
supposed to join me and split the cost, and yet they're not
and I'm stuck with all that cost.
<Fat-Burrick> and gay hair
<Koobze> hheh
<Koobze> yeah, it's pretty gay
<Koobze> just adds insult to injury

<Sylffor> The Legend of Zelda for the NES had replay value
with the Second Quest.
<TURBOMEAT> by that logic, every single game with Randomly
Generated Dungeons has infinite replay value
<nitrifik_> I don't even think those have one-play value :o

<@ant> With something that my hand spends more time on than my
dick, I see no reason not to splurge on a mouse.
<@Scribble> Yeah, but I'd question whether my hand spends more
time on my dick or not.
<@shrav> for me its a matter of which hand
<@shrav> i usually have one on each

<liqshot|GreenZ> only thing more superior then the white man
is an albino white man
<liqshot|GreenZ> the whitest man of all

<infra> read the freebsd handbook
<infra> then read it again
<phaze> then burn it and shoot yoruself

<Madman> Rodents Of Unusual Size....I don't think they exist
<CrashCat> rodents?
<CrashCat> size?
<Sbot> size is irrelevent. It's a question of methodology.
<Madman> haha
<CrashCat> ...

<Howard> My wife keeps getting sales calls on her cell.
<Howard> I picked it up this afternoon and told the
salesperson "I need two things from you."
<Howard> "First, I need you to put me on the no-call list."
<Howard> "Second, I need your credit card number so I can
charge you for calling me on this cell phone."
<Howard> They fell all over themselves apologizing and hung
up.